Emotions and feelings are overrated?

[Simonitro]

I started to learn that having emotions and feelings are overrated especially for guys. I started to analyze that most women (not all) want men that has as much emotions as a brick wall to see him as a man.

I'm a person who does have emotions and feelings and don't think women are attracted to this side of me. Yes, I could be funny and smile those are probably okay but the others that expresses sadness or pain, don't think it's very attractive especially for me... it's like "Oh! He's getting emotional... what a loser!" As much as I want to believe that there are women want to see an emotional man, it doesn't seem so.

So, do you think emotions and feelings are overrated and unattractive especially for men? How do I cut some of them down? (It's not like I'm living in a soap opera but being general about it)

[Levin]

I think there's an interesting point here. I don't think women on the whole, like men who seek comfort or escape from their problems through them. Especially not in the initial stages of dating. Nothing seems to drive a woman more wild than her believing that he doesn't have any insecurities, any significant ones that impede his life in any way. There's probably some kind of biological drive, unconscious, about this indicating alpha male, protective, strong genes, etc. When you're feeling good in yourself, and have conquered any disabling fears that you might have, the pull you have with women is immense.

On the other hand, if you're feeling down, for whatever reason, I can't imagine why you would seek female company for relationship? It can't end well. There's just this niggling feeling. There's a clinginess, fears, sorrows, jealousies; cause as I say, it becomes an escape from doing what you have to in real life, to get to a point where you can think about dating.

So the upshot is, I believe that relationships based on this kind of neediness have not one iota to do with love. It's more about the self, than it is wholesale care and concern for the other. Which by the way, women do like. They like sensitivity, a man who is caring, compassionate. Clearly, there are loads of destructive relationships out there. Cause both men and women can be extremely insecure. I'm talking about more wholesome, mature, and sustainable relationships.

[parkway]

You must live a sad loss life.

Feelings activate parts stated in most biblical works, such as ask and receive.

Your definition of a man sounds misguided, I am sure you would call a pedophile a man, who has no feelings.

If you are not using your feelings then I am sure there are other things you are not using and benefiting from.

Good luck,

[ShesSoSilly]

Having normal feelings and expressing yourself is not wrong or overrated in my opinion. I assume (because neither of us can really generalize all women) that most women who want a man... want a MAN. So yes, a strong, masculine, man... However that doesn't mean a brick wall either, personally I find that annoying and frustrating. No one can read minds so there has to be some communication and opening up with each other.

Like Stark said, there's a time and a place for everything. Its attractive and good to open up in the appropriate time and place, its not attractive if a guy (or anyone for that matter, in my opinion anyway) is a sobby mess from everything in life. Be true to yourself and just be mindful of your surroundings and if this is really the right time for it.

[kangaru]

Both are necessary but not when one become over emotional

[Stark]

I think it's more that women are attracted to men who seem strong and have integrity. I think part of this includes holding in your emotion until it's the right time to express it. Everyone has feelings and emotions, that's what makes us. I just think it's how we handle our emotions that defines us.

[Anonymous]

What women don't want is a male emotional slut.

They would like a guy who shows his emotions to her, because she's special. And not all the time either.

As a man, you should be in control of what you display. That doesn't mean not having emotins. It means not being free and public with them.