I say no to mayo, sour cream, ranch, cream cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese, Alfredo sauce, bleu cheese dressing, thousand island dressing, tartar sauce; this is not an exhaustive list. *shudders* I have a legit phobia. Somehow ice cream, whipped cream, butter, milk (1% or less) and marshmallow fluff made the acceptable list. Perhaps because they do not have the strong “tangy” flavor the rest do.
How it started:
When I was 3 my parents were moving us to a new state. They left me with my dad’s cousin/best friend’s home daycare where they had their 2 kids. They felt safe doing this.
I remember vividly sitting at this picnic table outside. I was on the left end, back facing the daycare lady’s house, playhouse to my right.
They served what I later described to my dad as bologna sandwiches with “yucky white stuff.” Fortunately my dad shares my distain for all sauces creamy.
He asked me what I did with the sandwich. I said “I frew it on the ground.” He said good for you! Then he asked what the daycare lady did. I said they made me sit in that hot playhouse on timeout for what seemed like forever. So I stripped down to my diaper and got scolded for being naked.
Then I remember her dragging me through the house covering my mouth (I was not having any of it). Saying I was going to wake up the baby. I bit her hand. She was not happy with me.
How it progressed:
I saw this evil woman at the HS graduation of my dad’s cousin’s son and I had a visceral reaction to her. I whispered to my mom I knew who she was and I was feeling very uncomfortable and needed to leave.
Even just the smell of these sauces I cannot handle. And I am not a picky eater (though I have been accused of this my entire life). I will eat octopus, jelly fish, sushi/sashimi (minus the mayo), escargot and many other adventurous and spicy cuisines.
You don’t realize that mayo comes on almost every sandwich on the planet unless you don’t like it. And when placing a special order there is honestly a 50/50 chance they get wrong. I always try to choose foods without sauces I do not like, but unfortunately that is not always an option and I often find myself having to send food back. (Which I hate, what if they spit in it?) But if I am completely honest I would eat a stranger’s spit before I eat mayo. 🤷🏻♀️
My friends would often make fun of me when I said I did not eat white creamy sauces. Naturally comparing it to human semen. Yup. Heard it before. No need to mention it. It is not in fact a sauce. Yes I do consume it in a sexual sense, no I would not eat it on a salad.
Today and my prognosis for the future:
It is an uphill battle with this phobia of mine many do not understand it and minimize it saying “you can barely taste it or just try it” without any regard for the severity of the phobia.
I don’t push it off on my kids. My husband does not like mayo, my oldest son thinks it is OK. My oldest son tried ranch and sour cream and was not a fan. My youngest son shares my proclivities in terms of sauces and furthermore dislikes butter.
I hope that places will start to recognize this and maybe include mayo and mustard packets on the side. I love mustard and it is zero calories. The perfect condiment.
It really is similar to that of vegetarians who become nauseous at the sight or smell of meat. Vegetarian, vegan, gluten free, dairy free are all commonly recognized. Is it possible white and creamy sauce free will exist in the future too? 🤔
Thank you for attending my TED talk.
Most Helpful Opinions