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Shy Guys And The Shy Complex (Page 3)
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When it comes to guys getting over their introverted ways toward women. This is intended for shy guys, yes. I understand why they're shy in the first place but what I don't understand is why they stay that way. Which is why I included tips. I don't know why you felt the need to include that you're a professional model. We're not competing. I accept shy guys, as friends, but nothing more. If a guy wants me, he has to show me. Plain and simple.
Itssimplekeepitreal - I don't know why you feel so opionionated on my article. It seems almost as though you take it personally, which makes no sense to me considering you are appear to be a girl. And skewing my words into some slang doesn't make make my intention and point what you think it to be. Sure, I empathize with guys and the fear of rejection - but everyone faces rejection in some facet of their life. It's a fact of life. My philosophy is to just take the bull by its horns, at least
"I'm 20. I'm young. I'm pretty. I've got plenty of time." - it is great that you think you're pretty, I'm also a professional model. if you've dated another model you'd realize the value of inner beauty, it only becomes more beautiful. youth will fade. if a female is so confident, aware of the nullity of norms, then approach shy men. if not, don't date shy men. plenty of alphas around. if you like the chase, play with them. shy men are called shy cause they're ... shy. accept them.
The problem with this argument is that its completely one sided. It places the blame solely on men.
It simply says that women expect men to approach and therefore they should, and stop being a p**** and get out there and get a woman. While that's all well and good, and her suggestions are stereotypical, and none of which really help that much (there are much better ways to reduce approach anxiety) She does not address the fact that maybe women have a problem feeling entitled to be approached.
There comes a point where you see that society sucks and you either deal with it and go with the flow, or you say f*** it and die.
No matter how much its unfair that women don't approach men, even though they claim to be "equals", that's the way the cookie crumbles. And we as men have to approach. WHY? because women don't have BALLS.
Paintitblack - Obviously I know there isn't some magical switch. And shy guys exist because of lack of confidence. It's plain and simple. And the aforementioned tips I devised above are to help slowly encourage self-esteem. Clearly you didn't grasp what I was trying to do.
Ok, Ms Frankenstein I want the bodies and brains back you delved in to get this information, just kidding. This article makes me think back to the song Shy Guy - Diana King.
Great and awesome article, your gonna make some lucky guy super happy. Hope its a shy guy, lol
Chadwickc2 - You're more than welcome. YOU get it. You get what I'm trying to bring across. I'm not being judgmental, I'm trying to HELP GUYS OUT by telling them what they need to work on to break out of their shells. Honestly. I'm not writing this for my benefit. My boyfriend isn't shy, he admitted his feelings to me, just like in his perfect nature he would. :)
GoodManDave - Where exactly in my article did I place blame on anyone? The 'shy' factor is synonymous no confidence. Which makes a guy dead in the water if he's ever going to approach or even think about approaching a girl he's interested in pursuing.
Bellybuttonlint - It's not one-sided though, because it's my perspective on what guys should be doing to overcome their low self-esteem to then have the gall to go up and ask girls out. It's your inhibitions of shyness and rejection that holds so many guys back, and if they just realized that and took the risk they'd end up in a much better situation. I'm not telling all guys to grow a pair and ask chicks out, I'm merely suggesting it.
Joke around when appropriate. I know women won't change their preferences towards shy vs. outgoing men. However I do appreciate women who actually understand HOW men feel about things. That makes me feel more appreciated and motivated to do what you mentioned above. Yes dating isn't fair for men in most situations, but at least you realize that and do NOT take us for granted. However you boyfriend is....he is one LUCKY guy. :) Thanks again for your advice babe!
For a 20 year old girl you are a genius. That was outstanding advice. You took a look at the shy complex from a understanding viewpoint instead of judgmental viewpoint (where 99% other girls just tell guys "get over it").
I'm 28 and I'm matured a bit. I was a good looking kid in my early 20s but I lacked confidence and was horribly shy in approaching women. Since then I'm changed a bit. Yes I'm still an introvert genetically, but I've learned to take social cues from women and speak up
I understand, and agree that this is my role. I'm OK with a lot of that. But, considering my experience, I know of a lot of guys who don't want to "waste their time."
I've probably "asked out" a thousand women since the age of 16, whether it was honestly just to gain friendship or it was to officially ask out a girl. Up until about 2-3 years ago, I can tell you all but one had said no (discouraging), and most were downright cruel about it.
To take the attitude of blaming us is wrong.
You have no idea what its like being a shy guy. Yeah its easy to say you need to get over it, but telling a guy to grow a pair, and that theyre gonna get rejected and suck it up, really makes you come off as a bitch. yeah you may have experienced rejection, but since you yourself will not make the effort to iniate a relationship you don't understand this type of rejection. I have had my share of rejection and from experience it does not get better, it just gets worse.
Jacksparrow55 - I don't expect anyone to face 9 rejections before getting 1 acceptance. I was over-exaggerating to make a point. Please don't take my words so literally. What I intended to get across was that, yes you might be rejected A FEW times, but eventually, and hopefully, sooner rather than later you will get a yes. No pain, no gain.
Are graduating universities and colleges than men in the United States. Society is moving forward, as it should. And for you to call my words ancient and not current is absolutely ludicrous.
I have no intention on being a housewife or not going to college. I'm going to Duquesne University for Pre-Pharmacy. And I have no intention of asking guys out. They can come to me.
Bellybuttonlint - Guys aren't the only humans who experience rejection. Guys and girls alike are capable of being rejected in any aspect. Take for example: college rejections, entrance to parties, entrance to frats/sororities, jobs, the list goes on and on. Just because guys face rejection a lot in the area of asking girls out doesn't mean girls don't know what rejection feels like. It's universally sucky. I get it.
I realize it's not the 1940s, and I realize women are independent. More women..
House-MD, society today still dictates that men initiate. That really is just how it is, unfortunately. Of course there are always exceptions to the rules - the women who are brave enough to approach and make the first move. But once again, that's only a small percentage. 9/10 times the guy initiates contact. So this article was just intended to give guys with lacking self-esteem or skills in the ladies department to gain some insight. That is all. If you find it boring, that's your problem.
Rahim517 - None of the points I bring across throughout my article are misinformed, if anything they're spot on, exceptionally so for me being a girl. But whatever, I'm done defending my words. They resound with plenty of guys, just not you. And I can live with that and sleep at night knowing that.
Concordia: Honestly there is no way you can say what you just said without coming off like a b*tch and making people long to see you get hit by a bus. And the fact that it comes off that way should tell you how wrong it is. The bottom line is that in our eyes, any girl who is not willing to work for what she wants is nothing but a high maintenance b*tch. That really is how it seems.