Respect for Women in the US? Well, Start With Our New First Lady...

[martyfellow]

Obviously you could write several books on this. I'm going to try to condense it into a few paragraphs, aimed mostly at US girls. Girls abroad already know a lot of this.

1. Our families are often dysfunctional and split apart, so we don't learn respect for women from our family members. Often we hear only negative evaluations about the other sex from BOTH our fathers and mothers.

2. From a pretty early age, most girls are taught to USE sex and attractiveness to get what they want. Their mothers encourage them not to 'waste their time' on guys without money and status.. So,, for the most part, they don't.

3. By age 16 or so, many girls are, ahem, 'dating' guys in their 20's or older, and won't even look at their classmates...My high school was pretty typical. When classes got out, there was long line of cars at the gate. Some were parents, but many were older guys picking up their high school 'girl friends.' Today, we'd call them 'sugar babies' mostly. We didn't back then, 20 years ago.

4. In college, ditto. Many of the girls were, ahem, 'dating' MUCH older guys, weekends in Paris and the like....

5. Out in the working world, even worse. Girls were quite often sleeping with the boss, and wouldn't have anything to do with guys at their own level. Even girls not into that scene were envious of the ones who were 'liberated' enough, and pretty much identified with them. Heaven help you as a guy if you spoke out about it at work--they'd mostly all jump on you.

Now, of course, the above doesn't apply to the large numbers of immigrants or second-generation girls, mainly Asians and Latinas, who are mostly still pretty 'old country' ,and don't go in for the informal prostitution that dominates relationships in the mainstream in the US. And of course, even among the mainstream, plenty of girls are still 'old fashioned', and those who get married young usually don't swing in this way, regardless of ethnicity...

And guys generally respect their mothers and grandmothers, because this kind of attitude was much less common in earlier generations, and more women got married young and didn't even think about other men after they were married, for the most part.

But in the mainstream culture today, this is what most guys think of when you ask them if they respect women. What honest answer do you expect them to give? A lot of guys aren't going to answer that question, or will evade it, because the answer may get them in trouble.

But their actions will tell you what they think. And can you really blame them if their real answer is that they have little to no such respect?

Respect isn't given unless earned.....

[apexalpha]

What surprises with the US is for a developed country the female hypergamy is extreme. It shouldn`t be on that level considering how women can get their own career and earn their way.
you can forgive women living in the developed world since it still is patriarchal and hard to for a woman to get a career going.

I am beginning to think girls in "murrica" do it out of greed since your average 20 something won't have the means to splash out without a sugar daddy.

It makes sense why the MGTOW movement is stronger in US than Europe men are pissed off with he entitlement.

[nalaa]

. My high school was pretty typical. When classes got out, there was long line of cars at the gate. Some were parents, but many were older guys picking up their high school 'girl friends. -- doesn't sound so typical to me

But anyway, very disappointed here. Didn't read the words Melania or Trump once

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[martyfellow]

Yes, it's fairly typical.

[NearlyNapping]

1) Not when I was younger. At least not where I grew up. Back then divorced parents were extremely rare. I was probably 11-12 years old before I met a kid with a divorced parent. Come to think of it, around here it's still not nearly as high as the national average. It's still a fairly small minority.

2) I don't know what mothers teach their daughters, but I think what you said is vastly over stated.

3) Not when I was in school. That would have been extremely rare. I wasn't aware of one girl that age dating a guy in his 20s. Off the top of my head I can't think of any 16 year olds who dated an 18 year old, but I'm sure there were some.

I DO know a girl who dated a teacher though. They got married not long after she graduated. So they were obviously dating when she was in school. But back then people didn't freak out about it like they would now. Nobody really cared. (btw they are still married over 40 years later)

4) I don't remember much of that in college either. Mostly people dated other students near their own age. However that was a college where almost everyone lived in a dorm and did very little socializing outside the school.

5) I've never knowingly known of a woman sleeping with the boss, except the ones who were married to them and probably started the business with them.

How things are now, I can't really say. I don't hang around young people in real life. And I don't consider GaG a reliable cross section of the population - it MIGHT be, but I have serious doubts. I'm paying attention though - being skeptical, but not entirely writing it off.

[ketfoen]

Wow, why does GaG think I know what I should give my input on, because I can't make out if this is a rant or something about our first lady, who's tata's and vajayjay is all over the internet. Seriously, when I see her with clothes on, I only see those nude pics of her locked in my mind, not that I find her attractive, it's just the shock that I have seen this woman naked and now I should see her in an entire different light. What a mind fuck!
Okay, I got that cluster mind fuck out of the way and now to the real question.
WTF is the real question? hahahaha. I need to read this again, 1 moment.
Okay, yes I have respect for any woman, even if i have seen their hairless vajayjay, because that's how I was brought up by my dad respectively treating every woman and man in his life and made it his goal to teach me that, because respecting everyone isn't a luxury or something earned, it's something given by a good person who will receive it back in tenfold even if that other person isn't deserving of it.

[vishna]

I'm all for respecting Melania (because all women deserve respect, first ladies or not) But why start with Melania? I'm not old enough to know how Laura Bush or Hillary Clinton were treated as first ladies, but I do suspect some people weren't fond of them because of their husbands. But Michelle... Michelle was called a monkey, manly, ungraceful, ugly, and her femininity was disregarded by so many conservatives. (and I've heard these claims and seen them on line as well) Is this how the other first ladies were treated? Melania is a tall, thin, model who barely speaks and she should be treated like a queen? Why start with Melania? If we're talking about first ladies, I think those with newfound respect for women should start by taking back things said about Michelle.

[Valkyrie1]

"My high school was pretty typical. When classes got out, there was long line of cars at the gate. Some were parents, but many were older guys picking up their high school 'girl friends.'"
That's a typical high school to you?
I didn't know anyone from high school in a relationship with anyone over 20. The biggest issue at my school was the girls letting their boyfriends talk them into having sex and getting pregnant.

[SovereignessofVamps]

Yeah, I nvr saw anything like this either.

[martyfellow]

Yes, this is fairly typical in the US.

[Valkyrie1]

Nope. Never seen anything like that.

[martyfellow]

Dunno where you went to school. Elite private school might be different.

[Valkyrie1]

No I went to a Title I school. Girls don't have sex with strange older men cause they know people are crazy. You leave with a strange man you may never be heard from again. I can think of tons of terrible things that could happen. Everyone knows the Everglades is a good place to hide a body... They taught us about stranger danger but not how to use freaking birth control. Figures.

[martyfellow]

OK, yes, title 1 schools don't have that scene.

[martyfellow]

Title 1 schools for one thing are heavily 'third world', and girls don't have the mainstream US culture if they're Asian or Latina and recently arrived.

[martyfellow]

AS I believe I pointed out in the MyTake!!!

[Valkyrie1]

There were black and white girls there as well mostly black and Spanish though. I'm white my parents would never have left me alone with a boy my own age let alone an older man. I was taught that was something only white trash did and it is simply not safe. South Florida is ranked #3 when it comes to human tafficking. I know the escort survice is big in miami but I have rarely ever been. I think that's where the traffickers go. There are girls who do it willing for sure I've heard of college girls doing it but I have never met a girl who does. Let alone in highschool.

[martyfellow]

Much less in a school like yours, naturally. As I said in the My Take.

[JulieXO]

Why do you mention the first lady in the title when you don't even talk about her?

What you described as the typical girl nowadays is definitely not typical. I'm not form the states, but I doubt the women's mentality there is any different from the European one. I only know one girl who goes for older rich guys. All the others go for guys of the same age, usually from their school or uni. Disrespecting the whole gender based on the actions of the few is not the way to go in my opinion.

[martyfellow]

You're far wrong. Not an accident we have Melania as our first lady! Very different from Europe.

[Yanika]

I believe in US things are a bit different.. and as far as we speak about first ladies, if not trophy wife, then they are cheated anyway,..
And when there comes one good normal couple such as Obama's people would find something against Michelle anyway. It is sad.. maybe US people are too much money driven? (men and women)..

[Bobbyhill1]

@Yanika no, its not a ''bit'' different, what she said was true. a lot of the girls here are slutty lol.

[Yanika]

@Bobbyhill1 pardon my English with 'a bit' I simply meant 'it is different'.

[samhradh_leannan]

LOL, I couldn't use sex to get what I wanted even if I tried.

Being lumped together with super attracted women when it comes to their negative qualities (being manipulative, shallow, etc), and separated from them and forgotten about when it comes to their positive qualities (being super attractive), is possibly the most frustratingly unfair position I have ever been put in.

[martyfellow]

Yes, one consequence of the frequency of women who are hustlers is that the women who aren't that way get labeled with that reputation.

[samhradh_leannan]

Only women who actually are super attractive receive the benefits of being super attractive. The rest of us have to work for what we want just like men do.

[Yanika]

Well the question I would put here is: what made such society? I mean, what lead American culture to become that way. What I find funny is that Americans think their women are very independent and powerful. But in the end I feel like American women aren't as respected as they are in many countries. You have a history of cheating presidents and wives who stay silent about it.. and, as you say you have too much gold diggers as well? Whats wrong on your end there?

[martyfellow]

Beautiful answer, Yanika. The end result of a society built on capitalist exploitation and greed. Make sure your country doesn't follow that road!

[Yanika]

Thank you Marty. I hope so as well..

[CheerGirl38139]

"Women talk about respect. When are you going to start doing it? Start respect men and most of all when are you going to start respecting boys? The nasty things that women do to male children are right down gross, nasty, and immoral.

Women do not know how to get respect because they do not respect their self."

Female... I American family man of God word. My English first language goodly. Female take young mow into change room to look at genitals. It what all female what.

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[Belgie]

If guys could get the same benefits "dating" milfs you'd never hear the end of it. But they can't. So they just complain about an uneven playing field instead of upping their game.

Competition is supposed to bring out your best, not your whiny loser side.

You may now downvote...

[martyfellow]

the plains field isn't 'uneven', it's OWNED by Don Trump and men like him, for the most part.

[alphadoggystyle]

actually no, most guys would rather work for their own money and date an physically attractive girl on their own level rather than date an ugly and/or old rich woman. Also most guys would rather date an average girl if she was loyal to him rather than dating a "player" girl who fucked 10 other guys at the same time even if she was a 10 in physical looks.

If you put women in those situations then most of them would rather go for the older rich dude, or the alpha player even while knowing they won't get him to settle down with them exclusively.

[Belgie]

I've never lost a woman to a billionaire or anything remotely similar.

[AnotherConfusedGirl]

So you don't respect us because we go for older guys? I date older guys for the maturity and because we generally have more interests in common. Does that mean you don't respect me? And I honestly think your over estimating how many women sleep with their bosses.

[martyfellow]

I really don't think so... usually, they do their best to hide it and often we don't know unless we're close friends with her.

[AnotherConfusedGirl]

I don't know whether the US is just fucked, but where I'm from you date people because you like them not their wallet or their position

[martyfellow]

I think your conclusion is correct!

[Bobbyhill1]

well another confused girl, you are just confused thats all. America is WAAY different than other countries not to mention the UK.

[LoloWaye]

Where are you meeting these women? I went to public school and I never saw this. Most girls were knocked up by their classmates. I've never had an interest in sleeping with my boss and no one I know has. That's just... no.

Where I come from, our mothers and fathers taught us to be completely independent; we should never have to rely on a man to do anything for us. If he leaves you then what will you have? We're taught to develop our minds and that we need to go somewhere in life. Make our own damn money.

I believe there are good women who aren't just immigrants or Latinas out there. You just have to be the person you want them to be and you'll find them. Plenty of people give me that advice on here so I would say the same would work for you. Just because we're not marrying at a young age (I know no man I would ever get married to right now) or very traditional doesn't mean we're not good women.

[martyfellow]

Take a look at what every woman from outside the US says. And none of the US resident Latinas objects at all. If you went to an elite school, or a Title I school, you won't see a lot of the same things simply because older guys don't generally prey on those girls... but I'm talking a TYPICAL average US high school.

[LittleSally]

It's kind of hard when you've seen the first lady's vagina unprovoked...

[BruceJender]

You can't respect her because you've seen her vagina?

What?

[LittleSally]

@BruceJender Not in private, buddy. Hahahaha On the internet... in a photoshoot... If you can do that you're not really deserving of respect nor of being called ' a lady'.

[The_flying_Frenchman]

Women in the us are taught by their mothers to use sex for personal gain and not waste time on anyone poor or common? I'm curious where the fuck you're from to think America is just one big "days of our lives" drama.

You sound like someone antisocial who can't get a girlfriend so you of course think the whole of American society is biased in such a way just to spite "nice guys" like you. guys like you write this kind of pitiful shit on here all day under that lovely anon 25-29 tag.

[martyfellow]

The mainstream culture is pretty much a soap opera. That's why we write it. Heck, look at the girls' answers. For the most part, they agree with me, and that's impressive given the girl-can-do-no-wrong media culture we live under.

[The_flying_Frenchman]

I don't know if you know this or not, but the anecdote of "a few girls Said they agree" is not an accurate census of opinion. If you conducted a random survey of about a thousand then you'd a statistic with witch to say something of any weight about it.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Good point. I find it hard to put up with lectures about how Trump should treat women better from the same crowd that gave Bill Clinton a free pass for much worse behavior. Especially when they had no trouble with threatening to gang rape Sarah Palin and her daughters. Pot meet kettle much?

[martyfellow]

Yes, I had to laugh a couple of months ago when the media attacked Trump on his attitude toward women, and he said 'Bill Clinton says much worse things on the golf course. Not even close."

Does anyone not believe Trump? I don't recall Clinton even bothering to deny it.

[TechnoGirl]

Wow! I must say all of it, is in fact true.
But that doesn't apply to me because i live in australia.
And also because im not that kind of girl.
I dont really know what else to say in here,

[Djaaaay]

Opinion owner. I live in Hawaii and lived in North Island New Zealsnd also , and (no one ) here in the Pacific Rim ( act) like that.

[martyfellow]

@Djaaaay No, the culture in Hawaii and NZ is very different.

[Djaaaay]

Asker... As true as it is , people in the Pacific Triangle usually greet others with respect and Aloha and like to talk story with others too. They give respect first , where you take it from there is up to you. And when I'm in the US mainland, I've always found how shocked and pleasant people feel around you when you Respect them as a stranger.

[Djaaaay]

Asker... Respect is world wide , not different culturally.

[Notorisch_Arschloch]

You familiar with the term hypergamy? That word sums up everything you've said.

Try to find an exception to that rule. It's as plain as the sky being blue to anyone who isn't lying to themselves or a woman... But I repeat myself.

[martyfellow]

No, a new word for me. Older words like 'hustler' and 'prostitute' do fit, we don't need to make up new terms.

[Notorisch_Arschloch]

Not new. Look it up

[spoonman2014]

I will agree that dating gets better as you get older as a man. I wasn't about sleeping with minors, another reason why is because I spent 5 years in the military and if they got wind of you doing that it was a one way ticket to an article 15 and discharge

[Robin48]

Women talk about respect. When are you going to start doing it? Start respect men and most of all when are you going to start respecting boys? The nasty things that women do to male children are right down gross, nasty, and immoral.

Women do not know how to get respect because they do not respect their self.

[Waffles731]

if we deport illegals, lets start with her, she was in the country illegally for at least a month

[Blonde401]

So you don't respect women or you think women should be respected? I read it twice and I think I missed your point (no hate just genuinely want to understand). I respect all women and men TBH.

[martyfellow]

Women in the US, man, they aren't easy to respect, in general! But of course we should strive to do that anyway.

[Blonde401]

Ahh I get you. Well I've dated plenty of older blokes myself. I don't know if that makes me less respectable (and it wasn't for money). I respect the First Lady. I like her actually (no him).

[martyfellow]

Not many agree. They have a petition in New York city for her to leave and go live in Washington. Last I heard over 100,000 signed in just a week.

[Blonde401]

Shouldn't she live in the White House anyway? I don't mind her at all. I mean she is just a sugar baby who got everything she wanted but good for her, why should I dislike her.

[amphet11]

If they only date a guy with some sort of money, being a prerequisite to sleeping with him, being a literal prostitute, which is a lot of women. Then NO! they deserve the opposite of respect

[Blonde401]

@amphet11 Did I ask your opinion? Oh no I didn't, so I don't care what you think. I respect everyone who hasn't murdered/raped/tortured anyone. If you've done none of those things, they deserve my respect until then.

[amphet11]

This is an open site, posting an opinion gets an opinion a lot of the time. Not arguing against it? so you admit women are whores/prostitutes? that deserves dogmatic judgement.

[Blonde401]

@amphet11 Again, didn't ask your opinion. You have issues with women. Men who have sugar babies know that they are sugar babies and they're fine with it. Don't like it? Don't get a sugar baby. Don't refer to women as whores to me and calm the fuck down son. I don't sugar. I'm single as fuck, your anger is totally misplaced at me.

[amphet11]

Not overt Golding, intrinsic biological traits that make women prostitutes as their vagina is worth more than penis, thus they expect to get more than a penis in exchange (as 1% of men can knock up 100% of women, 99% of men are superfluous to reproduction, and women have a far higher sexual value).

[Blonde401]

@amphet11 What has any of that got to do with me liking a particular person? Calm down or I'll block you.

[amphet11]

You were saying prostitutes should be respected, I am saying no they shouldn't be, that's how it attains to your post.

[Blonde401]

@amphet11 who hurt you so bad that you're so bitter at your age?

[amphet11]

When it's scientific fact that most women are more sexually attracted to the female body than the male body (if you want proof and an explanation ill give you lots, just ask) and it's basic biology that female sexuality through monogamy is intrinsically prostitution, you can't blame a guy for being bitter.

And this isn't biased musings, this is true by virtue of the meaning of the words and concepts used to express it, so that its denial would be a self-contradiction. Me being bitter isn't mutually exclusive to me being right.

[Blonde401]

@amphet11 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 bye

[amphet11]

I am right though, you can try argue against it.

[Blonde401]

@amphet11 I'm not interested in arguing with you. It's beneath me. You're full of hate and I have no desire to fuel that.

[amphet11]

Mote irritation than hate, but what I wrote is correct, women are all bisexual and closer to being lesbian than straight. And human monogamy for the most part is prostitution.

[Blonde401]

@amphet11 last chance to back off or I'll block you completely. Like I said, not interested in arguing.

[amphet11]

cool

[Djaaaay]

Opinion owner. Block me too why your at it... you're so direspectful towards that guy , plus you demand respect. You're entitled aren't you? I don't respect you because how you disrespect others

[Blonde401]

@Djaaaay I wasn't even talking to you? How am I disrespectful? I literally said I don't want an argument. I was talking to the person who asked the question. Where did I demand respect? I said I didn't want an argument. I didn't demand anything. I asked him to cool down or I'd block him. Same goes for you. Lots of bitter men who have an axe to grind just because I have a vagina.

[Blonde401]

@Djaaaay I don't care if you respect me or not. I never asked you to.

[Blonde401]

Why don't you block me if you have such an issue.

[Djaaaay]

Opinion owner... I don't demand respect from anyone

[Blonde401]

@Djaaaay neither do I so I'm really confused as to where you've tried to find an issue.