Are Girls Really That Hard to Understand?

[EthanSilver]

From the beginning of time, humans were always looking for answers. What began as the first carved tool became the first item of machinery ever created. We, as a species, have made significant advancements in the fields of politics, quantum physics, rocket science, psychology, biology, health care, industry, and more.

Yet despite all this development, there is one concept that many of us believe that we fail and will always fail to understand. Women have always played a crucial role in society. Whether it was recognized or not throughout history, women have played prevalent roles in the world's major industries, social movements, and innovations.

However, they have often been labeled as mysterious beings. When questioned about which concept that he finds most intriguing, Stephen Hawking replied:

"Women. My PA reminds me that although I have a PhD in physics women should remain a mystery."

Is the opinion voiced by so many men worldwide legitimate, or is it a generalization that our generation of men use to blame their share of lost fights and broken hearts on?

Scientifically, when it comes to emotions, there seems to be a difference between the genders. A new study by the University of Montreal found that on average, women seem to be more susceptible to negative emotions.

They gathered 46 participants and tested their levels of testosterone, the "male hormone", and estrogen, the "female hormone". The participants were exposed to images that induced a varying range of negative emotions. Overall, women were reported being far more negatively affected by the images than men, particularly the women with higher levels of estrogen.

With the direct correlation between sensitivity and estrogen in mind, can one hormone really be

blamed for a woman's perceived ever-intricate nature? To answer that question, we have to take a

look at human nature.

Generally, it tends to be more difficult for anyone of any gender to think clearly and express clearly when their conscience is clouded with negative emotions.

Because of that, these personal turmoils tend to be viewed in a more one- dimensional manner by other people, making it frustrating to those trying to explain themselves.

This can be blamed on an effect called Solomon's paradox. It involves being more factual while dealing with and trying to understand other people's problems, but facing more difficulty while trying to fix one's own, regardless of gender.

This is because our personal conflicts are often clouded by our own emotions, whether we are angry, sad, or in love. This causes us to think less big-picture and more on how our feelings are affecting us right now.

This emotional response often results confusion between us and those around us. One can't describe emotion any more than one can describe the color blue. Only you know the emotional repercussions that anything you do will have on your mental well being.

Perhaps this stereotype of women being confusing is drawn from the moments that men feel most inclined to apply this label, when they are confused or in disagreement with a girl.

The interesting thing is that the moments when people are trying their best to comprehend a woman's point of view are those when she is most likely to be affected by bad thoughts- - during stress, disagreements, anger, sadness.

These are the worst times to be judging a woman on her ability to share what is on her mind; these are the particular moments when she can't do that very well.

This may be what is causing this generalization to emerge in our generation. Moreover, since women tend to experience the confusing effects of emotional distress more frequently and more intensely, it only makes sense that they are perceived based upon them.

But should they be? This was just my take on how girls are often perceived as confusing without really understanding what's going on. I think that there is some misunderstanding on the guys end in terms of how girls act, and this is just my opinion on this topic :)

[Nyx_85]

It's not just that men and women are different. Every INDIVIDUAL is different. Genders may have some similarities but we do not have one collective brain lol. Science has proven that people have both male AND female components in their brains but whether your brain is more male or female depends on the person. You can have men with more of a female brain and women with more of a male brain. But to have a fully male or female brain is extremely rare. Yes in general men have a predominantly 'male brain' and vice versa. One effect of that is that their brain compartmentalizes information. They are adapt at focusing on one task at a time and getting said task done proficiently. Women on the other hand are much better at multitasking. Men have more connections within the hemispheres of their brain while women have more connections between different hemispheres. Therefore women make connections between things that men don't. What may seem 'emotional' to a man can make perfect sense to a woman because that is simply the connection her brain is naturally making (and yes sometimes it IS overly emotional and nonsensical. However men are quite guilty of this offense as well! As I have seen plenty of times). However the man arguing with her cannot always make this connection. It doesn't mean either of them are wrong. They just see the situation differently.

On the topic of hormones and mood it has been proven that either too much or too little estrogen can cause mood swings and/or depression. I have gone through years of trying to find suitable and effective birth control because it effects my moods so much (among of host of other issues that are probably TMI for some people here). And the thing is before doctors prescribe birth control do they EVER think to check your hormone levels? Nope (and they really should). So not only do women naturally have more estrogen but we are taking things that spike those levels. Not only that but they trick our bodies into thinking they're constantly pregnant. So no wonder we are depressed and moody.

[cth96190]

Based on what I have seen women go through as a result of using various oral contraceptives, I question whether they should be used at all.
If you go to www.drugs.com and look up various contraceptive pills, you will find that death is an acknowledge side effect, as well as a list of unpleasant things.
Were I to be in a relationship with a female of reproductive age, I might suggest that we go bareback for the first week, then confine ourselves to oral for the rest of the 28-day cycle.
Barebacking a woman every time feels wonderful, but it is not worth killing her, or risking a host of other serious medical problems.

[Nyx_85]

@cth96190 Unfortunately unless a woman has a very regular menstrual cycle the 'rhythm method' isn't that effective. Even women who think they have a regular cycle can randomly ovulate at different times of the month. Not to mention that sperm can live inside the body for up to 5 days. Hormonal birth control is used because it is much more effective... however there are still a lot LOT of kinks to work out. Some women can tolerate it better than others but after being on and off it since I was 17 I just can't anymore. Constant infections. Pain. Depression. I would rather just not date at all right now. I mean at least I'll still have my sanity... Well somewhat ;p

[cth96190]

You can date, just be a tad careful about sex.
Dating and fucking and not necessarily the same thing. :-)
I am considered to be odd for a male, but I am not particularly interested in fucking a woman unless I have a connection with her.
I make love, I do not fuck.
During the era that I pursued women, sex was not something that I tried for until we had been seeing each other for some time and it felt 'right'.
I am sure that I am not the only man who thinks that way.

[Nyx_85]

@cth96190 Have you ever taken a MBTI test? I'm a lot like that and I'm an INFJ. We have to have meaningful connections with our partners. Casual sex isn't our forte.

[cth96190]

@Nyx_85
Interesting suggestion.
Here is the test result:
INTJ
Introvert (59%) iNtuitive (38%) Thinking (88%) Judging (69%)
You have distinct preference of Introversion over Extraversion (59%)
You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (38%)
You have strong preference of Thinking over Feeling (88%)
You have distinct preference of Judging over Perceiving (69%)

[Nyx_85]

@cth96190 Aah a deep thinker. 'The scientist'.

[oddwaffle]

The girls aren't complicated, they are just not really sure of it themselves.

Impression, mood and perception are the most important part that influence the girls' behavior.

If a guy gives her a good impression then almost everything he does would be interesting and justifiable. If confronted by another person about obvious flaws then she would get defensive and admit she likes those flaws even though she doesn't and might change her mind at a later time.

If a guy gives a bad impression then the girl will always dig at his mistakes and critique him and blame everything on those mistakes that might or might not be relevant. She could blame the guy's hair for not being something therefore he fails at life.

Amount the meandering craziness is some sort of logic behind it. I believe women assign a really high value on trustworthiness for people who give them good impression and extremely negative value on trustworthiness for people who give them bad impression. That means if you are in her good books then whatever you do will get a rose colored tint and she accepts them as real. If you aren't then she accept that you are wrong all the time and will attempt to find any flaw in whatever you do and force a conclusion regardless of how convoluted that is.

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing: Some women (myself included) often find it difficult to clearly express their true feelings with men simply because they don't want to be labled as a "nag" or a "crazy bitch", even when their concerns are totally justified. They tend to bottle up their feelings until eventually they just can't hold it in anymore, and this usually leads to them expressing themselves in the worst way possible. I. e. we can't think straight or really get our point across, and we cry. A LOT. Not just because we're sad but because our anger has been repressed to a level in which our only outlet is sobbing uncontrollably. So, in summation, I feel like this isn't just a case of biological differences, some cultural context needs to be taken into consideration. If women didn't feel as much societal pressure to be the "cool girlfriend", so to speak, or be nice and diplomatic rather than brazenly direct and straightfoward, I don't think we would come off as so "complicated" or hard to understand.

[cth96190]

Understanding female motivations makes it easier to understand them.
Women are driven by hypergamy, narcissism and hedonism. Women also tend to not be long-term thinkers, until they are on the wrong side of 30.
They will also subject men to endless shit tests.
Believe nothing that women say. Instead, watch what they do. There is usually a big difference.
Most women will make decisions based on one or more of those motivations.
Even so, trying to understand women is frustrating, infuriating and often futile.
It is better to be mindful that the only way to win is to not play the game.

[Nyx_85]

Same things can be said for a lot of men... This is just PEOPLE. But you'll likely never see it of course. You only see your own experiences and as far as your own gender you relate mostly to yourself. Most people only think about themselves. We live in our own realities. We think certain things only happen to us. We forget that everyone has their experiences that shape their reality. Usually when people disagree with a statement regarding their gender it's because they don't feel they can personally relate to it. Do I disagree with your comments? Yes. But that is based upon my personality. My experiences. How I live MY life. I have no right to speak about other people in my gender. It's all perspective.
And you know maybe if you allowed women to be regular human beings there wouldn't be this issue. With you types it's either "Women are wonderful beautiful angels..." or "Women are evil beings! They are driven by greed and desire!" No in between. Black or white. Try adding some color.

[cth96190]

@Nyx_85
Thankyou for a well-reasoned response that was also expressed well.
Nobody is 100 per cent of all traits that are common to their gender, or race. Everyone has a differing degree of each trait. Shades of grey, if you like.
Assemble all that and we have an individual.
What I wrote was what I had observed around me and, more often that I had wished, what I had experienced during interactions with women. :-(

[EthanSilver]

@Nyx_85 I agree with you!

It was in my article, right? :)

A large part of my point was that both genders can experience strong emotion which cause them to act confusing to others. Remember the Solomon's paradox I mentioned?

However, women tend to experience strong emotions more often and more acutely, which can intensify these moments of stress and confusion.

This is why they can sometimes be falsely perceived as confusing or mysterious while they are just acting like anyone would in those situations. Again, I wasn't strongly supporting any side of the topic. I was just bringing in a new point of view.

Also, of course there are exceptions! We are talking in generalization however, because it's simpler.

What do you think?

[Nyx_85]

@cth96190 I understand that. When you experience one thing over and over you look for something to make sense of it all. Unfortunately there is no magic formula or philosophy to tell how our relationships are going to work out. We just need to try and be smart, without becoming too cynical. There seems to be a fine line between seeing reality (that people aren't perfect) and becoming completely cynical and negative though.

[Nyx_85]

Also one of the reasons that I often prefer animals and nature to humans.

[Nyx_85]

@EthanSilver Us women folk tend to be more emotional in the moment. But from what I've seen men take longer to get over things like a breakup. Their emotions fester under the surface.
Generalizations are easier. Yet they exist for a reason. No matter what any individual thinks there are others that fit that generalization. And I think that is what angers a lot of people. Instead of having their concerns taken seriously they are met with comments like "We're not ALL like that!" What people mean when they say that is "I"M not like that!" What they fail to realize is that it's not all about them. For example I've never cheated and I could never imagine doing that to anyone (I seriously have had the biggest guilt over a small lie so I have no idea how I would manage that level of deception) yet if someone's opinion was "Women are cheaters" because this was their constant experience with them would I have any right to belittle their experience and their emotions based upon how I am?

[EthanSilver]

@Nyx_85 I see where you're coming from.

People tend to resort to generalizations and oversimplifications because it's easier.

It's sometimes hard for people to imagine someone like them being so different from them, as you said with the cheating thing.

Also, as you said, they tend to think about themselves. For example, imagine a guy asking:

"Would my girlfriend like it if I ask her to move in after only four months?"

To respond, a woman thinks about how she would feel like if the man she loved asked her that. She responds that women love being asked that- it's a sign of commitment.

That would be a generalization, because she referred to women as a whole, rather than herself. I don't think that's right, but I think it's the reader's responsibility to be aware of these type of labels.

[Nyx_85]

@EthanSilver That is all very true. You seem like a very intelligent young man.

[godfatherfan]

I was going to say that you must have never been married or even have been in a long term relationship. Then your profile says your 15. If that is your true age, you need to wait a long time to address this issue. Men just don't understand women. For the most part, they never say what is on their minds, they thing you should "just know" and want us to figure it out. Now every single question question on this site can be answered with "it depends on the woman/man". But overall, women are extremely hard to understand due to the fact they are over-emotional.

[Unit1]

You know... I talked to girls and I found it super easy to understand them.
Your perception is a result of you interacting with the wrong girls, stupid girls and just idiots.
Girls aren't the only one's, who can't be understood because it is NOT gender specific. Guys can also not be understood. It's all about *how* the person communicates.

I remember my father telling me things, that I did not understand but he thinks everyone does understand him as he does. Yet nobody understood him.

Want my advise? Stop associating yourself with the wrong people, men or women.

[EthanSilver]

Read the article again. "My perception" is not that they're complicated.

The point is that they are difficult to understand when they are experiencing strong emotions, just like us guys. However, since they experience these strong emotions more often, men tend to perceive them as being complicated, which I believe is often caused by a lack of understanding from the men. Everyone is difficult to understand when they're sad or stressed out, not only girls.

That was mainly the point of the MyTake-- I am not giving a strong opinion on either side of the topic.

[Unit1]

I did read your mytake and I have nothing else to add to it other than my initial opinion. Don't know what else to say.

[spoonman2014]

A wise man once told me "women are meant to be loved, not understood" lol. But seriously women are emotional thinkers and I think that steers them wrong at times. Like when a girl likes a bad boy because he's exciting and fun but fail to see he will morph into a beer belly tank top wearing drunk at the trailer park and the guy who stays up late studying will be husband material once he passes the bar exam

[spoonman2014]

And I forgot to mention sometimes they do know is husband material they just think once they are doing being "young wild and free" they can get that guy again

[danyalovettie44]

That example is true for stupid girls lol

[UnknownXYZ]

www.court-records.net/.../bratworth-crossed(c).gif

It's not that women are hard to understand, it's just that a lot of men just haven't been taught how to behave with women.

[danyalovettie44]

So true.

[think_logic85]

I've only read the title of this page and did not proceed further to read in the details, because I don't think I need to.

Girls aren't really hard to understand they are quite simple to be honest. If you are having a hard time understanding a girl and her actions, the chances are they aren't mature enough to communicate efficiently, furthermore it could be that they aren't sure themselves either and you get caught into the whirlwind of emotions.

[EthanSilver]

If you read the article, you would have seen that I agree with you ;)

The point is that they are difficult to understand when they are experiencing strong emotions, just like us guys. However, since they experience these strong emotions more often, men tend to perceive them as being complicated, which I believe is often caused by a lack of understanding from the men. Everyone is difficult to understand when they're sad or stressed out, not only girls.

That was mainly the point of the MyTake-- I am not giving a strong opinion on either side of the topic.

[Analinda1999]

women ARE humans. to say women are a mystery to humans is saying men are the default human and women are an anomaly. women are not mysterious. anyone you don't take time to get to now is going to be an enigma. guys like to keep women not quite as human to make them more alluring or to just fill ion the blanks themselves to create a story they prefer... no human being is simple but all can be understood. takes time.

[Anonymous]

Women are not a mystery and are very easy to understand.

The reason why a lot of men don't understand them is because they have been fed lies and fantasy about them. In some cases, men create their own fantasy about women and chose to believe that because the reality is not as interesting.

[GraveTruth]

I understand them. I just don't agree with the way they are.

[pavlove]

preach

[Chilled_Eyes]

I think the things that are harder to understand about girls is them playing hard to get, saying something like do you even like me but then they proceed to avoid you.

[deepguy]

Yes, see my question for instance. A sweet female friend who I actually think is decent. She sends mixed messages and is crazy suddenly since single (well partly so before too). Pls help me out!

[Nadzzz]

Girls are not hard to understand but it all depends on the kind of relation you create with her since the beginning

[Bananaman177]

Go ahead, try to understand a woman. She'll just change her mind again.

[Lindsey_Charlotte]

Being a girl i don't think I'm difficult to understand lol

[amerteck]

yeah little bit hard to understand them because they speak 2 language at same time...
for example: no=yes
and... etc... you get the point

[Robin48]

No they not hard to understand. We males know you are all about self. How you can benefit yourself from others.

[John_Doesnt]

You can't be rational with an irrational being. Women are irrational.

[Anonymous]

Women understand each other and hate each other. What does that tell u?

[dolemite68]

There's no sense in trying to understand them, just try to understand what's predictable about them