How To Not Care About What Other People Think and Live The Life You Want!

I realized that my last MyTake has been a bit depressing and pessimistic so I did a bit of self-reflection and returned with something a bit more empowering 💪 and inspirational this time. Hopefully people will respond better to my post this time 🙂

How To Not Care About What Other People Think and Live The Life You Want!

I’ll kick this off with a Disclaimer: It’s beneficial to have opinions from a few people you can trust to tell you if you’re doing something bat-crap crazy, or to encourage you to take a risk. The occasional punch in the face by reality is good for us. Thankfully, I have friends who will always tell me, if I’m not thinking clearly.

But what about other people’s opinions? What about those who spew hate and venom your direction for no reason? Or what about people you go to school with, work with, or otherwise have to tolerate because you encounter them frequently?

How To Not Care About What Other People Think and Live The Life You Want!

For a good chunk of my life, I valued the opinions of others too much.

I wasn’t the most confident kid. Like many others I was made fun and bullied, relentlessly. I was laughed at for my looks. I was teased because I could beat all of the boys in any physical activity (at least until puberty) and I was a good student. I wasn’t pretty enough. I acted like a boy. My idea of a good time when I was 13 was seeing how high I could launch into the air from a homemade ramp with a pair of roller blades or a bike. This was not “normal” girl behavior, and other kids let me know it.

My analysis to these events was the same: do something different from everyone else and you’ll be berated. Better to fit in.

Unfortunately, I allowed a lot of opportunities to pass me by, simply because I cared too much about what other people would think or say. I would often not be true to myself, or do the things that would make me happy, out of fear of how other people might react. I stopped doing those “things that aren’t normal for a girl” and conformed to the standards. I started to dress different. Act different. I also changed my hair and started wearing makeup (that I hated and still do).

Fast forward a bit. I’m now 20 and still not, (or just stop caring, because I don't really believe in myself..) not completely immune to hatred. Many people still share their negative opinions about me occasionally, and my body&looks. "You're skinny-fat." "You're too skinny". "You should join a gym; you have a lot of body fat". "You should dress better.." "Be more feminine". "Big nose". "Not pretty enough." "Too masculine". "Homely"

So I started frequenting online forums and asking people about their opinion on my looks, they were still telling that I'm ugly, that I need plastic surgery that... that... My depression became worse, I withdrew into myself and cut all contact with the friends I had until one day: I just STOPPED caring.

Now more than ever, thanks to the internet and social media, people have no problem being jerks and letting their opinions fly. The pool of negativity has grown larger, and deeper. It’s time to stop caring about what other people think …

1. The negative comments someone makes is about them, and not you.

The people who go out of their way to make hateful comments, usually under an alias, must have a pretty crappy life. Why would someone who is happy or building a worthwhile life take the time to do nothing more than be hateful?

It’s terribly sad that some people have nothing better to do with their time then try to tear others down.

Now when I receive unconstructive, pure hateful comments, in real life or online I view the commenter differently than I used to. I no longer get upset, and I certainly don’t take their unwelcome opinion to heart. I take pity on whoever is choosing to spend their limited time on this earth flinging bile toward people they don’t even know.

How To Not Care About What Other People Think and Live The Life You Want!

2. This is your one life. There are no do-overs.

All of our stories will end the same. Death is inevitable. As uncomfortable as it may be to acknowledge the fact that we will all die, it can also be liberating.

When you can put things into perspective and realize that we only get one life, it makes it easier to stop caring so much about what other people think and be true to yourself.

How To Not Care About What Other People Think and Live The Life You Want!

3. Remove sources of negativity, immediately.

Purge your life of negative, toxic people and resources. If your classmates have a knack for starting drama, avoid them. If your circle of friends have a tendency to tear you down, then separate yourself and look elsewhere.

If you have a public life on the internet or have trouble with cyber bullying and can’t (yet) laugh off the terrible comments people say about you, for the love of everything stop reading the comments or remove yourself from the situation! You can’t stop people from being hateful, but you can choose to ignore them and do something meaningful with your time instead.

I once made the mistake of reading comments about me on a forum, and I was utterly shocked by some of the comments. I can easily shrug off 99% of the cruel, ridiculous comments people make, but I’m not bullet proof. The fool-proof solution is to simply avoid it all together.

Avoid people and resources (and social media, if necessary) that are negative.

4. Trust a few opinions, but forget the rest.

Have a few close people you can confide in; people who you know have your best interest at heart.

Personally, I can count on one hand the number of people’s opinions in my life that have an affect on me.

And what about other people, or total strangers who feel the need to tell me what they think about me, my body, and my life? Pffft. They don’t matter.

How To Not Care About What Other People Think and Live The Life You Want!

5. Some people are going to dislike you, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Don’t waste your time trying to get everyone to like you, because it’s impossible.

Instead of worrying about who doesn’t like you, focus on being a better person for those who do.

Spend your time and energy living an awesome life and using your talents, gifts, and abilities to make the world and people around you better.

To sum up: Just keep doing you.

Those that don't like you or make nasty comments or bully you can just...

How To Not Care About What Other People Think and Live The Life You Want!


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Most Helpful Guys

  • Consider this...

    People are going to think what they want about you, how you dress, your choices, etc. There is not a thing you can do about it.

    I am amazed at how much weight people put into what others think about them.

    You can't change it. Why try. Be happy with who you are and the choices you make as you will never, ever please everyone.

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  • do the things you enjoy most

    if others shake their head in disgust,

    too bad for them
    you're the one having fun not them,
    as long as you are enjoying yourself who gives a damn what everyone else thinks, let them be judgmental and miserable by themselves alone,

    do what's best for you,

    girl make the most of your life, be who you want say what you want, act how you want, don't let others bring you down, for being who you are,

    if people can't handle how successful you are, then they don't deserve you,

    you deserve all the good things and all the good people,

    we choose how we feel in life, never let others choose for you,
    the way you feel is your choice, and no one can take that from you,

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Most Helpful Girls

  • 3 and 5 are definitely always the hardest to learn/deal with.

    Cutting out all of your "friends' because they're actually just a pack of users, abusers, and leeches, is really hard, especially when you consider the struggle of being home alone on a Saturday for a few weeks. But WOW the difference in your over all quality of life once the tress is gone! That alone makes the temporary loneliness WORTH it!

    Sometimes, people hate you just because everyone else loves you so damned much! Translation, they're jealous. And you trying to be nice to them, is just shoving into their faces how perfect you are. Or maybe they hate you because you're so invisible to everyone else, that you don't have to deal with the stress that comes with positive attention. Again, jealousy.

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  • Excellent take ! Honestly helped me a little considering I care waaay too much what others think of me and I have no self esteem because of it.

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What Guys Said 25

  • Well said. My favorite quote to live by: "I'd rather be hated for what I am than loved for what I'm not."
    A long time ago, someone told me something that changed how I felt about people hating on me. He said: "Even Jesus, Ghandi and Mother Theresa had haters. If THEY had haters, what makes you think you can go through life without any. If you have haters, you're in good company."

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    • great quote. thank you

  • I agree, you should try to improve upon yourself instead of getting stuck on why some people dislike you. Not everyone's a good fit, some people will have dealbreaker's, meaning that you don't want to be associated with them anymore or they don't you to be a part of their life.

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  • I agree with some of this, and disagree with some of it.

    It's always good to have the confidence to do your own thing, but not necessarily at the expense of damaging your reputation.

    I liked your disclaimer, though, that was spot on.

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  • Number 1 is absolutely true! Most people who make fun of people & put people down, are unhappy themselves and are projecting their negative emotions.

    As an overall very optimistic & happy person, I am often the target of those who are insecure, hate themselves, or are unhappy in some way.

    Somehow these people feel that trying to "put down" a positive-minded person, will somehow make themselves feel better.

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  • This is good advice. Now if only we were born knowing this, we'd save ourselves a lot of trouble and heartache in life,

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  • "How to tell off your boss, do your own thing, be completely fulfilled, and starve to death".

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    • you don't have to have a boss buddy. Start your own business/do your own thing lol

  • 100% on point, didn’t actually read too long lol but 6 free exp

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  • i somewhat agree, but i do think that self improvement is important, and outside perspectives can be vital to that process

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  • There’s a philosophy related to this; it’s called the art of zero fucks given

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  • It's not hard. It amounts to "STOP BEING A PATHETIC LITTLE WEAKLING!". It's that simple.

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  • I always did what I wanted , starting from my 18 years on.

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  • Take care of your own business line up and get the job done

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  • I love this, I have few male friends but if I have a problem I always go to my female friends which are quite a few. I enjoy their company and their council and confidon. I have shed many a tear not one said at like a man but I got tenderness.
    You high light many things I have faced being transgender a little Ifeminet got plenty of name calling and bullying at school. I lost my rag with this boy who would not stop , I flipped and broke his nose. I didn't like doing it and took him to see the nurse but the name calling stopped. But I try to follow a life like yours , thank you for a glimpse into yours xxx

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  • 💯 agreed

    It’s good to see you.

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  • Always great to see a very positive Take. :)

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  • Be you, everyone else can wait.

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  • good post

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  • Good take thanks

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  • We really can't control what people think of us. I am very quiet which makes me very unpopular with girls.. I have no intention of changing. I am happy with myself and that's all that counts.

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  • i don't care what people think

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  • What if you're one of those negative people and also think negatively about yourself the same as others do?

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  • Nice take

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  • Huh, maybe.

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  • I agree somewhat. We only live once, but that doesn't mean making ourselves #1. We should try to help others whenever we can.

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  • Love the advice but I used to people no liking me since some are just fake or rude lol

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What Girls Said 4

  • Nice take

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  • Great Take!

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  • I've always lived my own life.

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  • Nice take. Easier said than done though.

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