Let me start off by saying I struggled a lot with my self confidence, I still do some days.
I'm here now, and I'm alive and well and that is what matters most to me at the moment.
I'm here in this life to achieve my dreams , which is to land a certain job later in life, have lots of animals in a big and beautiful farm, and a decent amount of money to live on.
I do not want a partner, or children.
So some of the things I used to be insecure about were dumb, and only halted the process of me bettering myself .
1. Do not try to fit in whatsoever
People will lose all respect for you when you fit in. They'll insult you when you don't, but the moment you try and fit into what they consider is right they will realize fully you're a pushover.
Let's not even talk about other people , if you yourself try to be someone you're not , doesn't that just feel uncomfortable as heck? Wouldn't you get depressed?
Something I just learned to do throughout the years. So I dress really nice somedays and then most days I dress like a classy hobo , who cares?
2. Do not let others control you
I struggled with this. At the times I would have a bit of self confidence , it was all about me and what i love.
At the times i wasn't confident , it was because i felt like other people weren't comfortable with how i looked therefore i had to die or something to make others comfortable.
Now I'm just like ' i have as much right to be on this earth as anyone else , if you do not like how i look well then fuck you'.
For example , I'd have random men telling me my height is not ideal and I need to downplay it. I'm 5'10 and I do not find that very tall since the average man is 5'10 so by default most men around the world will be 5'8-6'2 . I love my height and do not really mind it tbh.
I never asked those men for their opinion nor did I ever show an intention to date them or want them. I have thought at times since it intimidated men then I'm ugly and need to die because i am not making them feel comfortable, but then i realized I'm being a dumb bitch by thinking that way lol , and I needed to get my shit together and stop thinking about other people and start thinking about myself.
At the end of the day I have no intention in joining the dating world , I'm an aroace (asexual aromantic), I do not experience conventional attraction or feelings.
I now embrace being intimidating and even emphasize it more . If you are a MAN and scared of me, you should check your frail ego then... because I'm hardly scary. If anything my arms look like spaghetti and I'm baby faced. If that's intimidating to some people then I pity them lol.
Another example of some women who were jealous of my grades or looks, typical little girl crap where they'd say 'you're not feminine enough'(heard this from men too , funny because i actually know I look very feminine body and face wise) 'you r too skinny' 'you are fat'( is it that im too skinny or I'm too fat? Lol) 'you need to put on makeup' as a projection of their own insecurities.
Sad , sad people those who are so insecure they need to take it out on other people.
3. Be yourself to the fullest
I don't care if that means you like to do some weird stuff like rub peanut butter on your earlobe or some shit , be who you want to be.
I embrace who I am fully , without any doubts and most of the time without care for what other people think.
I wear no makeup , wear fitted but baggy clothes , never show off my body , act professional in most places , do not like getting to know too many new people all at once , I like science , I absolutely love animals , I like to workout and I'm just a little bit too weird lol.
If someone doesn't like who you are as a person , why should that be your problem( unless it's at work etc but I'm talking about social settings)? It is on that person , not you.
4. At the end of the day those who do not know you do not really care about you or what you are doing with your life
Does that sound negative? Well it actually isn't.
Think about it , walking down a busy street you see tons and tons of people. Do you stop and stare at each and every one of them , picking out their flaws and thinking of the things they could be doing wrong or anything of that sort?
No . Most people don't do that.
So why should you worry what most other people think? Even those who do know you slightly , they probably do not think that much of you. At the end of the day there are billions of humans on this earth, most do not give a shit about you that much to care about how you look or what you choose to do with your life , and that's a good thing most of the time believe me.
5. You are here for more than to spend time dwelling over your insecurities
Everyone has insecurities . I still worry about dumb shit in my looks or personality, but not as much as I used to .
Like i mentioned before , I'm here to learn , to grow as a person, to be somebody , to achieve all my hopes and dreams, to have a few loving friends and have a lot of great experiences, to help a few people along my journey in life , to raise cute baby animals and own a beautiful little farm , to be a hardworking and strong individual, to be healthy and happy ( not the insecure little girl who used to starve herself , I suffered a lot with anorexia but I'm good now ). I'm not here to be beautiful, I'm not here to be popular ; life isn't a popularity contest.
And I'm definitely not here to please anyone else but myself and those who are close to me that i care about. And if someone has a problem with that , they are free to piss off out of my life .
I am me. If that is loving , caring , and a good friend to some , but intimidating, scary, bossy to others , it all doesn't matter. What i think of myself comes first, and those who care about me most and I care about most do not mind who i am , no matter what.
I hope this take helped someone out there with their confidence , and good luck.