How I Maintain Independence: Remain Empowered

Disclaimer: I am not telling anyone how they should be. (I think this can apply to guys, if they want it to).

How I Maintain Independence: Remain Empowered

1. Keep a healthy standard with my words and actions.

A) Follow through with promises I made with myself, helped me build trust within myself. Which, ultimately, helped me to learn how to trust others. Trust comes with consistency & follow-throughs.

B) Treat others how I would want to be treated. No expectations of how things should go, but I learned to know my boundaries and I only take action (to leave or speak up) when someone does cross a boundary of mine. I don't waste time worrying about what people aren't doing, I just move on fast.

How I Maintain Independence: Remain Empowered

2. Treat my mind and body like I'm a Goddess.

A) My self-care is a worshiping ritual, daily; Making time for myself.

> I listen to TedTalks or Motivational speeches while getting ready for the day.

> Hula hoop, yoga or dance naked in front of the mirror to start my day off making me smile.

> I make time to take myself on a walk or hike. No music. Sometimes I just dance in the woods.

> In between classes, I find time to sing my heart out in my car in the campus parking garage.

> I make sure to go to a cafe or to a park to get my school work load done- why let myself work in a boring place?

B) If I have control over how I think, I'm going to think positively. Why dwell on the things that don't serve me? I just want to have a good day! Everybody messes up, not everyone is on the same page and it's fine. It happens! and I simply have more important things to focus on than what everyone is doing or not doing.

How I Maintain Independence: Remain Empowered

3. Maintain a life outside of relationships (friendships / family / romantic partners).

A) Keep Hobbies.

> Creative expression is a must! I express myself through journaling, painting and GarageBand. lol

> Physical activity is a must! I go to the gym, go on a run, dance or hike/rock climb daily.

> Learning something is a must! I read a new book or I attend a new type of cooking class.

> Spiritual growth is a must! meditating is super fun and I love taking care of my plants that are all over my bedroom- I feel connected to mother nature. Or I sometimes attend church.

B) Keep Working.

> Job: Minimum work hours= part-time.

> Community Service: once a week or month.

C) Keep Exploring.

> I explore the neighborhoods, parks, train tracks, horse property, abandoned homes within a 10 mile radius. Mostly at night during the summers because I live in a desert. Usually this is also when I get my running in for the day- I'll only run up to 4 miles in a day.

> I check out new restaurants, underground local bands, or new people at the bar while playing pool and drinking waterrr.

How I Maintain Independence: Remain Empowered

4. Maintain femininity and softness.

A) I am, undeniably, a female but at work I tend to use more of my masculine energy. Once i'm off of work I make sure to bring myself out of work energy and into my feminine energy. ((Work = cleaning, job, school, community service). I need a balance, but most importantly I want to remain in-touch with my femininity. (In-touch with femininity = self-care rituals or just simply walking through a field of flowers thinking about how I feel... lol)

B) Hard times harden our hearts. If I allowed what every person did to get to me.... I wouldn't find emotional balance. In order to release and invite softness into my heart I choose to forgive and find the courage to be kind.... After I write a lot of imperfect things in my journal! We all need to find our healthy release. Crying is good.

How I Maintain Independence: Remain Empowered

5. Let your actions and energy speak more than your words.

A) Everyone talks themselves up, don't bother holding them accountable to what they say they do. I just listen and silently connect dots. They come when they are invited/they invite you, they are there if they want to be there. No need to waste time wondering where others stand. They are there and they are doing what they said they do... or they don't. If it's not a definite yes, it's a definite no.

B) I don't need to waste my own time dealing with immature behaviors, they can take their own time to figure out why I leave (or don't, but I already did it for myself so bye): I don't bother arguing, I don't bother proving myself, I don't bother explaining why I'm upset, I don't deal with complainers, I don't deal with rudeness, I don't deal with inappropriate comments.

C) I choose to focus on what I can do and what steps I can take next. I choose to engage with people who are ready to work together. I choose to find what and who works with me- not everyone can be everything for me. I have to go find who that is when I need them.


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  • I am curious why you think “I need a balance, but most importantly I want to remain in-touch with my femininity. (In-touch with femininity = self-care rituals or just simply walking through a field of flowers thinking about how I feel... lol).”

    Objectively these sound like okay things, except maybe trolling flowers.

    I often lay in parks and meditate; same goes for beaches, but I never considered this a feminine thing.

    I guess I wonder why you give things a label of masculine and feminine when you could just be doing what you want without carrying a label on it. I never stop myself to make sure I am being masculine by checking against a list or anything like that.

    And based on your list I’m probably more feminine than masculine in my bahavior. I never thought twice about that and still don’t care.

    Do you try really hard to confirm to gender roles because you think you are supposed to? Or do you do it because you want a masculine man to be romantically involved with you? Or are you just being yourself regardless of extrinisc reasons?

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    • My understanding of my masculine and feminine energy within myself comes from my understanding of masculine and feminine energy according to Yin and Yang.
      I believe everyone has different amounts of masculine and feminine energy.

      Ex: my sister has more masculine energy than I do (according to our birth charts, she has 2 feminine and 8 masculine, whereas I have 4 masculine and 6 feminine). She's still a female and dresses like any girl you see on instagram, but because she has such strong masculine energy she is very active in pursuit of things, driven and goes after what she wants, she tends to walk with purpose/her shoulders/in a very forward manner, she is more analytical and logical, etc. (Might I add, this isn't bad to have for a woman.) Then there is me, I have a habit of sitting back, receiving, feeling a lot and thinking more creatively, nurturing myself and others. (This isn't bad either.) We are both women but have different requirements of balancing. It's my understanding that I can't have too much masculine energy (it needs to stay at a 4) for my emotional needs- this is because I feel more, so I need to focus on creating space for me to feel in a healthy manner or I explode. Whereas my sister needs to be active with something in order for her to avoid exploding. She doesn't need to invite more feminine energy to balance her out, her goal isn't "change this masculine 8 and feminine 2 into a feminine 6 and masculine 4". Her goal would be to maintain her balance she was born with. Does that make sense? I didn't think many would care too much about this part- it's kind of a lot. and a tangent of it's own so i didn't think to clarify it.

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    • Not trying to be a dick and of course a lot of what you wrote is great however, women who think empowerment and independence are very important (such that they would take time to write this piece) usually are fucked up. So i was thinking that from the get go and low and behold i see in your comments about being a ho and cutting yourself and violence with your family. I was right on the money. I would challenge you to not do what everyone else is doing. Being independent is a retarded goal, and feeling empowered is not always a good thing. I own my own business, I need my employees and customers. I need a girl because my ultimate dream in life is to have a family. I've never once probably mentioned the word independent because its mostly a stupid concept when talking about yourself. Empowement is also stupid. If you do something awesome you should feel empowered automatically. If you need to do little tricks you are just building false self esteem. Have you ever met someone who thought they were just the best thing ever but really they were kinda just shit? I meet so many girls who take this empowerment shit to the moon. Ie. I got a degree im the best candidate ever to hire... or not everyone has one these days and you have no experience. Then they cry or get angry or something. This is a huge problem in the US anyways and it comes from telling these girls to look in the mirror and yell i am woman and shit like that. I hardly have this issue with men. Men are confident and the difference is when you logically explain hey dude you dont have experience they say well you're right and move on either to other reasons or to apply to a new job. They dont personally lose it because their self esteem matches their accomplishments. Everone knows donald trump can be a dick but everyone knows he has accomplished a lot of things. Imagine dealing with that personality in a man who works at a gas station. Wtf? Nobody would tolerate that shit. Lmao

    • @bamesjond0069 Honesty is the best policy, I appreciate being able to know what I would be dealing with. Except, I chose not to engage any further with your choice of topics. Thank you for participating though.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Excellent myTake, I just enjoyed reading it from beginning to end.

    My girlfriend it's just like what you wrote: creative, strong, independent and a free spirit.
    I respect that and have no problems with her spreading her wings, in fact I encourage it.

    The only thing I ask her in return is that she lets me do the same.

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    • I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I hope she does allow you the freedom to do the same, goodluck

  • Love this, thank you for sharing your thoughts! Too many people (women, in particular I noticed) spend too much time taking care of and being dependent on others for their happiness, and not enough time for self-love and self-care.

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    • I’m noticing this a lot as well. I’m glad you enjoyed this and found this helpful for those who might need the reminder. 💗💗

  • I think its cool that you have keen interest in exploring the world around you. I have unfortunately lost this habit, I live in a big city, and there is not much to do anymore that I think is interesting. I got to get that sense of adventure back.

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    • Oh, I would terribly miss nature. Maybe there is a green house nearby? Or a little peaceful park? Have you explored the different rooftops? I bet it's hard to see the stars in the night sky :,(

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    • It doesn't allow me to see your posts because your profile is private?

    • OK. One minute.

  • I admit when I read "empowered" it rang some alarm bells, but then I read it and it's just so right.
    Keep up the excellent work!

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    • I thought i'd share my own experience since I realized (through a lot of questions that i've answered on G@G) that not many know how to maintain independence. I added "empowered" because with a lack of independence I see a lot of people feeling less empowered. x) <3 Thank you so much!

  • Wow this strikingly similar to how I live... especially your tendency towards encouraging positive cognitive behavioral changes with a spiritual dimension.

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    • You get me <3 Right now I'm focusing on judgement and temperance. What are you currently working on?

    • Hmm. I'd say compassion, self esteem, confidence, relaxation... a stronger belief in the process of life. That we move from obscurity to clarity, murky ponds to clear skies, like the lotus flower.

  • If a guy wrote something analogous to this, he would be mocked to hell and back for it.

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    • Because guys can't share advice on how to better maintain their independence in a healthy manner?

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    • @ThisAndThat Well, i believe feminism is needed in underdeveloped countries. But in the United States, I don't see why our women are complaining. Other than their hurt from being raped, but the law can only go so far with justice. We don't want to rape our men with laws based on accusations and not enough proof. These women need emotional and mental help, I know because I've been there.

    • @sugarchateau In the US it's not the men raping the women, it's the women raping the men. And this is where those statistics the feminist are getting is coming from. You can't make this up. https://youtu.be/M-Dtcvqcjc8

  • I really enjoyed reading this. As someone who really needs to get back and respect her independence. Thanks for the share!

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    • I'm glad you got something from this that can help you <3 Thanks for reading!

  • I might have a few contentions here and there but none of which worth mentioning I suppose.

    But this is very good. All these things you do are worth noting because they do create the feeling of happiness. I kinda lack the education to really point out the nuance on the matter but said in the least, these things have a terrific psysio and psychological effect on a person.

    Even if it is only creating a feeling of self esteem its very critical towards the production of life potential. It may not be the crux that sustains you in war, or a prison, but it certainly fosters growth and happiness in the city.

    Good work and keep it up. Wish you luck.

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    • Growth and happiness is what I believe true independence brings. It's harder to maintain than most think, sometimes they miss some aspects since they've got a job or because they are single. Potential and power is all within the journey. It's interesting to see the responses to this post, I do appreciate your response <3

    • The soul has a belly of its own. You gotta fill it up with something other then misery. People dont always get that. They think happiness is unconditional, but you actually have to produce it.
      ur welcome, thanks u

  • Very self-centred, I'll recommend a more compromising and accommodating attitude if you want a relationship.

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    • Perhaps you didn't know independence was about self? Or that in order to share a point of view I am to share my own experiences? Goodluck with your day sir

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    • @Lish89 Independence is an illusion, but it is an important process for a humans mind to maintain in order to ensure that we are able to remain as independent as possible which can promote positive feelings and help us to feel that they have a definite purpose in life.

    • @Lish89 There's actually a book that talks about that, the difference between dependence and interdependence.

  • Being a woman must be horrible if you're 24 and just learning what independence is.

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  • u got sugar in your nickname
    u expect me to believe you ;)
    who is looking here for a sugar daddy hahaha

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    • I made this account and username a lonnnngg time ago and i'll be honest, I was a sugar baby. That meaning doesn't apply anymore here though aha. BUT I'm still a sweetie. <3

  • When you can provide an executive summary in bullet points then I will opine on your topic.

    I don't have time for this long tripe.

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    • Did you get an invite notification to respond to this post? I’m genuinely curious.

  • This was a very opinionated and exciting read, post more of these

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    • I'm genuinely glad that you liked this <3 I was hoping if I just used myself and my experiences as an example, no one would think I was trying to tell them what to do.

  • It begs the question when have women not been independent?

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    • I thought it would've begged the question, "how badly have I been slacking in maintaining my independence in a way that makes me feel more empowered?"

    • Yeh but thats not as a snappy and its kind of a mouthful.

    • Ahahahaaa ok 👍🏻

  • I explore traffic jams in the morning and evening.

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  • Nice take

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  • I also do these things daily ;)

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  • A great take, well done😁

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  • Great take and always be your self

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  • I second that.

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  • Number 4 is awesome and cute

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  • good stuff👌

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  • How do you do all this? You're not working?

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    • I am fortunate and clean houses part-time for people in my towns wards where I make bank, $100 for 3 hours on weekends- I don't have to clean many in order to make what I need for bills. I have a lot of free-time after my 6 classes on ASU campus. I guess I manage myself pretty well, it also surprises me that people don't find or make time to do all this stuff.

    • Life is good for you, but it doesn't apply to everyone!

    • Alright, thank you for breaking the news.

  • Great

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  • I'm dependent

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  • “Don’t say you are going to change, just change”. -Brent Weeks

    Women are constantly putting up these “self empowerment” takes and memes on social media. We don’t want to hear about this crap. We earn respect when you just do it without telling people.

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    • Great quote! You're not wrong about action speaking louder than words, in fact I share the same belief. Mind you, this is, indeed, a platform for sharing. I also have a few quotes that I'd love to share with you!

      "Creating is about sharing ideas, sharing aesthetics, sharing what you believe in other people." - Shepard Fairey

      "Gaining knowledge is the first step to wisdom. Sharing it, is the first step to humanity."
      - unknown.

      "By sharing and exchanging ideas, people will get to know each other and learn about their community" - Linda Ashcroft.

      "Here's what is great about sharing ideas with others; if you share an idea with ten people, you get to hear it once and you get to hear it ten times." Jim Rohn.

      "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people" - Eleanor Roosevelt

  • Im tired of the new term "empowerment" used in this era for many things that had nothing to do with being empowered. It is used very loosely.

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    • Definition of empowerment: the process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights.

    • I guess everyone interprets how they go about it differently. Oh well! I won't complain :)

  • I wish I was as strong as you!

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  • This entire take is basically masturbation.

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  • It seems like you're on the right track for balance and health!

    I'm older than you and still suffer with a lot of these, mainly 4b currently. Guess I don't know myself well either.
    Which is why I'm really happy for you =) keep it up!

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    • Ya I feel like i'm still dealing with a lot on top of the balancing act. I feel like life is abundant in everything, even challenges lolol

    • Indeed you seem quite busy, studying and working as well!
      Gotta take one day, one challenge at a time, right?

  • Wow you're so full of yourself..

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  • Interesting

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