Why Do Women Say "I'm Fine, " When They're Not?

Why Do Women Say

Have you ever wondered why women do this? Why we say we're fine when we clearly aren't? We don't just say it to men. We say it to family and friends too. Why do we do this? Well..

Why Do Women Say

In a nutshell, that's why. Most women would rather suffer in silence than be shamed for being 'crazy' when really we just need someone to have a conversation and listen to what's wrong. Actually listen, without making it an argument. But not every one listens. Some do, and finding those people is like finding the holy grail. My entire family is lucky enough to have someone like that in my stepdad. Not every one is like him though. Sometimes it's less painful to bottle up those emotions than to see someone you care about fail to help, because there's always that little irrational voice in your head that tells you when someone fails to do something you needed them to do, they don't love you. It's that same voice that tells you that you need to work out more and that people probably find you boring. That same voice we all have, though for some people it's louder than others. So we don't give you the chance to fail, because it's easier to say 'I'm fine' than to make it an argument, no matter how not fine we are. Usually, of course, this backfires, because bottling up your emotions is really bad for you and only serves for them to explode at a later date. So if a woman in your life says 'I'm fine', give her a hug and listen. Listen until she can't speak anymore and try to understand.

This has been a PSA.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 7d

    As a woman, what? No, no, no. The reason I say I'm fine is because something really emotional has just gone on in my life and bringing that up would only make me more emotional, so in order to stop people from asking and drawing attention to it, I pretend it doesn't exist so people won't pester me about it. And women are almost never called hysterical except for that one sexist motherfucker. In my experience, almost all women have been embraced and coddled and were told that they matter whenever they show emotions.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • 7d

    Passive-Aggressive is Passive-aggressive... it is what it is. It's also abusive and emotionally immature.

    It punishes people with silence and ignorance. People aren't mind readers. It's the same as saying "I'm pissed off and I'm not gonna tell you why... I'm just gonna treat you as if you're invisible until you figure it out".

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  • Nonsense. It's passive aggressive behavior, pure and simple.

    Why can't women own their behavior rather than blaming it on other and playing the victim card?

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    • 7d

      ^This man is 100% correct. Silent treatment is emotional abuse. Men are not mind readers.

    • 6d

      I do not doubt that some, few, women will do this, but any woman I have ever met doesn't. It isn't part of some 'silent treatment' or ignoring a guy. It isn't done as manipulation. It is simply a statement said. Usually at which point the person talking to you drops the subject and is the one to end the conversation.

    • 5d

      That has not been my experience, really. Every girlfriend I've had has used the silent treatment as a form of expressing anger and subtle manipulation, and it usually involved the whole "what's wrong?"..."nothing... I'm fine" thing. I learned that if I just said "OK" and went on as if nothing was wrong it just angered them to the point they blew up and had to talk about what was bothering them. It was definitely a form of manipulation and passive aggressive control. Women are known for this. Not all, but I've talked with enough guys about it to know my experience is very common.

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What Girls & Guys Said

917
  • I just think the saying "All women are liars", is more accurate. Those that can't comprehend themselves cannot portray their feelings properly. Like me. I don't know how i feel half the time, but I just tell people I don't want to talk about it, rather than saying how I am.

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  • Sometimes we just don't want to talk about it. I personally like cuddles and if someone sees me upset, even if I don't want to tell them what's wrong, I'll take a good hug and would love a cuddle session.

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  • People do that because they don't want to burden others with their problems or because it's easier than explaining everything that is wrong. Some of those people are women.

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  • Because Women hope their men can tell if she is really fine. Some women dont know how to tell men their feelings. Its a natural to tell people your fine because ususlly people dont want to listen to how you truelly feel.

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  • I do say I'm fine when I just don't want anyone to know my feelings/problems or when I don't want to talk about it, but that is pretty often as I don't like it when people feel sorry for me (like too much attention and stuff)😅

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  • Everything gets confusing when you take at face value what women say.

    Truth is only revealed when watching what women do, not what they say.

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  • If someone asks how I am, I answer, "not too bad thanks, yourself?" No matter how I'm feeling. No one wants to hear me moan about life...

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  • Control your emotions or they will control you. I find it's rather simple to do so and a little concerning that other people struggle with self control.

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  • I don’t mind being called crazy I embrace it. Better than being dumbed down by oh you’re so sweet, you’re so kind. It is like talking down to someone

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  • I do sometimes only because I don't like burdening people with my problems umle you're my closest friend and you're wanting to hear.

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  • But the problem I'd that when I hear someone tell me a problem I'm gonna try and fix it. That gets her angry cause she just wanted to vent but I can't help finding solutions.

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  • Usually when a girl is married and she's a housewife, she must tell her husband about all her feelings and her man will surely listen to her, hugs her all the time when she's telling him everything, also between each topic, give her a lovely kiss...

    This woman needs her man to listen to her so he can comfort her and it's the man'a duty to make his wife comfortable since she always listen to him and make him happy, i'll personally let her release all the weight laying on her heart and hug her tight to me and promise her to eliminate everything that's making her feel bad...

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  • Watch what they do, not what they say is the golden rule. Most women will either lie or sugarcoat things anyway.

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  • 4d

    We don't want to burden anyone
    We don't want anyone to discourage us from us being us, and having our feelings
    Afraid people will judge us

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  • I say I'm fine to everyone because I don't want to be a burden

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  • Because you expect from that person to figure out by themselves if you're fine or not

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  • 8h

    Fine is code for...
    Frustrated
    Insecure
    Neurotic
    Exasperated

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  • Good take..

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  • That's good points I will do that

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  • needed to hear this ❤️

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  • they want a backrub

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  • 8h

    Drama drama dramaaa

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  • 7d

    What about we say I'm good?

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  • 7d

    Who cares?

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  • No, the crazy thing to do is to lie about how you feel then blame men for it.

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  • With respect Ms. women expressing themselves is not as new as people think Prov. 21:19. Honestly I think that you often just expect people to know already what is bothering you, but people are not psychic.

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