Ghosting is as bad as harassment or catcalling

[Optymistyk]

This is how I view women who ghost

I've seen women try to justify ghosting like it's nothing bad. "I don't owe that guy anything", "I barely know him", "I changed my mind" whatever.

I met this beautiful girl and I quickly started to like her for more than her body. She was a rare occurence where I was actually considering her as a potential girlfriend. We had a lot of fun together and liked similiar things, and I really liked her as a person. I've only ever been in love once before and I thought maybe I could finally love again.

So I gathered up all my courage, looked her in the eyes and said "listen... Would you like to grab a coffee with me?". She said yes. So I booked a table in the best coffee shop I know, I cleaned my room, prepared my best clothes, bought good wine, planned what else we could do after the coffee... And then she ghosted me. And I had the pleasure to drink this expensive wine on my own, watching some shit on YouTube before I had to go to work the next day. I felt like trash.

Ghosting annoys me more than anything else. You don't like me? Fine. Tell me "no" or "I'm not interested" or "Fuck you". It's disrespectful and as bad as sexual harassment. You don't like it when men don't treat you like a human being. You don't like when men make you feel bad. Then why do you treat us like trash?

I can justify harassment the same way you justify ghosting. "I don't owe this girl respect", "I don't even know her"... So should I go around harassing women? Ghosting is not justifiable. If you ghost you deserve to be harassed.

I think some women think "he'll just find another" like it's so easy. It isn't. Men don't get approached or complimented and women don't flock to us whenever we spread our legs. It takes a lot of effort to find and court a woman. It may be hard to understand because you have a vagina and therefore you never have to try, guys just kinda appear. Just treat us like humans and don't ghost

[Dongtai]

Here’s my thing about ghosting or people in general not returning your feelings

SUCK IT UP.

Seriously. It sucks sometimes for sure, but most people get some form of rejection. And sometimes it’s in the form of being ghosted. But that’s still that person’s choice.

When you get upset about being ghosted or even “friend zoned” it translates to

“Hey. My ego has been bruised and it’s your job to make me feel good about myself. You owe me an explanation so I feel better about “myself”.”

No. No ones responsible about how you feel about yourself. Especially not someone who simply ghosted you. If they were bullying you that would be another story. But being ghosted is extremely harmless. It only hurts people who’s self worth relies of validation from people they’re attracted to. If she suddenly texted you and asked you out, you’d turn flips and feel like the king of the world. You should feel that way without her.

Also. If she ghosted you, is she really the type of girl you was “in love with”? Think about it. From what I read you two had never been on a date. How can you love her if you didn’t know her well enough to know she really didn’t like you “that way”. You most likely liked the idea of her.

[Dongtai]

Ghosting. I say get over it. There’s billions of women. Billions who would never ghost someone because they know how bad it hurts. If you’re going to date you have to learn to roll with the punches. Girls will rarely give you a direct no. They’ll ghost you, give excuses for not being able to make it, give a fake number or say they have a boyfriend. That’s just how it is.

It doesn’t make them a bad person. Some girls just aren’t comfortable with flatout rejecting a guy.

You’ve been ghosted. But you’re not going to die. There’s plenty of other cute girls, with nice personalities and guess what, there’s plenty who will show up to a date they said they’d go on with you. Put your energy into finding those girls, not sulking about the ones who ghost you. They don’t deserve your energy.

[Optymistyk]

Why everyone misreads me? I wish I could update it.

I don't wish anyone to be harassed. I just think if you ghost you have no rights to complain about harassment because it's equally bad behavior

I am not angry at the girl, it happened months ago I'm already over it. I wasn't angry back then either, simply sad and disappointed. No, I am simply annoyed at women for trying to defend this unjustifiable behavior.

[Bluemax]

"Some girls just aren’t comfortable with flatout rejecting a guy."

Anyone, male or female, who is flat out uncomfortable about rejecting someone needs to grow up and should probably stay out of dating altogether until they're comfortable with rejecting. That's just immature.

While I agree a ghoster isn't necessarily a bad person, they are behaving rudely (good people can occasionally behave rudely).

[Bluemax]

@Optymistyk

"I don't wish anyone to be harassed"

"I don't wish anyone to be harassed"

Can you see why people seem to be misunderstanding you?

[Bluemax]

@Dongtai

"Billions who would never ghost someone because they know how bad it hurts."

If you admit that it does hurt, why on earth shouldn't this behavior be discouraged? I say if it hurts (as you have just said it does), then such behavior needs to be discouraged, not excused.

[Bluemax]

@Optymistyk

Sorry, I made a mistake there. It should have read:

"I don't wish anyone to be harassed"

"If you ghost you deserve to be harassed."

Can you see why people seem to be misunderstanding you?

[Optymistyk]

@Bluemax yea but that's not what I was thinking when I wrote this, I meant that if you ghost you have no right to complain about harassment because it's just as bad. Like if you come to someones house and break the windows you have no right to complain someone else shat on your floor (amazing metaphor I know)

[Dongtai]

@Optymistyk It’s different for women when it comes to this. Men are encouraged to be outspoken and confident. Women are encouraged to be quiet and nice. A lot of women will day/do things in a manner that leads to the less threatening scenario. It’s easier to tell a guy your number vs no and possibly getting harassed, followed or physically assaulted. Men don’t have to be fear that. At the very least we could be called a creep but that minimal.

I give girls a pass on ghosting just because I understand why it’s done most of the time. It’s easier and avoids confrontation. It’s not her job to explain to me why she doesn’t want to stay connected. She’s entitled to her life. Confronting her about it or demanding words proved her reasoning behind ghosting in the first place.

A lot of men can’t handle rejection and will whine about it. Girls don’t want to deal with that. Especially not from a guy they don’t know well. Even with something as minor as not responding to a text or stopping all together causes guys to write posts complaining about it. Girls are afraid of men who can’t handle rejection. Those men are unpredictable. So they avoid them all together. Even if it means ghosting some of the good men. That’s just how it is for SOME women. Some don’t do it.

[RookieRook]

Honestly, reading this hurt my head , "If you ghost you deserve to be harrassed" like? Why do you think they ghost in first place? It is a cowards way out to ghost people and it's like leading people on. But consider that in your situation you knew them IRL , caught feelings, they didn't return them, and now you're saying they deserved to be harrassed like women aren't already dealing with that on the daily. Saying yes then ghosting is safer for a lot of women then saying "fuckyou" for fear of this anger you have in this post. Women get murdered for less and you're complaining about it and being backhanded in the whole post. The last part is just WOMEN ARE SEX OBJECTS ALL MEN WILL FALL FOR IT but treat me like a person :)

[Optymistyk]

I'm not angry, simply annoyed. And I'm not even annoyed with that girl because it happened months ago and I got over it already. With her I was more sad and disappointed because I thought she was better than that. No, I am annoyed because I keep finding posts on GAG that try to defend this behavior. So that's the reason I brought up this story, so that women know what it's like to be on the receiving side of such treatment.

I only say they deserve to be harassed because I think it's equally bad behavior. It's the pot calling the kettle back. I don't wish anyone to be harassed (not even that girl) and I've never done so myself.

Women hide behind this dumb excuse "what if he's a serial killer" all the time and it makes 0 sense. If I was a serial killer because she ghosted me I would be more inclined to kill her, I know where she lives. On top of that you're never nearly in as much danger as you pretend to be. The girl could be a psycho and poison me, or puncture the condom or make a rape accusation against me and I don't use it as a stupid excuse to mistreat women

I just wish we would all treat eachother like people

[Bluemax]

To be sure, I believe that ghosting is rude. I also think most reasons given for ghosting aren't good ones.

That being said, ghosting isn't as bad as sexual harassment, given that sexual harassment has led to injury, emotional trauma, and in some cases death.

As far as women who have ghosted deserve to be harassed, that's taken from the two wrongs make a right playbook.

[joanofarcher]

I agree that guys and girls treat each other shitty in different ways. You don't see the way guys do it to girls just like the girls in this post obviously don't understand how that experience made you feel.. Loneliness, rejection and being treated like you don't exist are things you have to deal with every day as a man and for that I am sorry. I would also ask you to not discount how degrading it is for women to be harassed by random, pushy guys on the street. They're both bad and damaging.

[honorboundHeart884]

I've been ghosted few times, I move on.

It hurts to know when you try one gets burnt, it life.

I know out their are women who will find their direction to who ever they were meant to be.

I love and find someone someday and so will you, good luck and happy love search :)

[otter_tots]

"If you ghost you deserve to be harassed."
"It may be hard to understand because you have a vagina and therefore you never have to try,"

Bold of someone who is this disrespectful to other humans to demand to be treated like a human.
This post was not a good idea, bud.

[JaredNotLetoTho]

Yeah getting ghosted sucks. Though I admit I get off on doing it to certain girls. Ones I find annoying it's fun to get them excitedxand not even bother to call and cancel the date. One girl I've done it to three times lol bit yeah it sucks when it happens to you. I personally overitquockly tho. Just like women prolly get over someone catcalling them

[OlderAndWiser]

Ghosting sucks, but sometimes, catcalling is worse.

https://youtu.be/ir_OzWzbnC0

[The_White_Queen]

I can't figure out why anyone girl would ghost such a delightful fellow like you.

[Anonymous]

It's annoying, for sure, but in no way on the same level as sexual harassment; even if the justifications may be similar, the effects certainly aren't.

[Optymistyk]

Why not, both make you feel bad. Also ghosting leads to the other person making plans and preparations for nothing. It may be worse than harassment

[Opinion Owner]

Being sexually harassed is obviously worse than feeling bad and wasting your time preparing to meet someone.

[Optymistyk]

Why?

[davidj555]

No ghosting is not the same as harassment. Sorry bout what happened but this the real world things happen and no one owes you just because you decided you like them

[Gottabsavagee]

Yeah this is disgusting. When you make a plan one shouldn’t ever ghost but be real and say what’s up.

If you ghost someone by stop talking to them cause you don’t like them thats ok.

[jermaineatl]

I would just say be successful and make them with they didn't treat you that way , because people like that always try to show face again.

[Games_]

The thing is, if the guy was insanely hot, they wouldn't ghost him at all

[updog45]

I agree, I've been ghosted more times than I can count. What a low-life cowardly thing to do.

[Bella9191]

Men do everything you’ve just said too.

[schmoopie51]

Sorrynotsorry. Some people just deserve it.