Young people make mistakes and, contrary to parent's and teacher's beliefs, we actually do have a particularly hard time growing up.
Disclaimer: I labeled this "Girl's behaviour" but suicidal thoughts, self harm and eating disorders affect guys too!
Most of us are aware of the damaging effects of social media, but even before cyber bullying kids were cruel.
I was, like many teens, bullied in middle school and turned to bulimia and anorexia as a way of regaining control, got help and recovered. This was before social media was big in my area, although I was very involved in the eating disorder community online. Then, in high school, I started realising all of the things that had actually happened in middle school and started cutting myself, again involving myself in the self-harming community, especially on Instagram, before there were any filters or people being blocked at all. I've been clean for almost a year now and it is hard, especially since people typically act differently after finding out.
My cutting started small and grew into a large problem over the past four years. I experienced many setbacks in 2019 and am so ready to leave this year behind me. It was so hard not to cut that the pressure almost destroyed me, and yet people still have the audacity to tell me that I have no right to be stressed.
I have never had a boyfriend because I do not want to talk about my self destructive behaviour unless I initiate the conversation. My body is covered in scars, which is something my parents have found hard to accept, and I am considering undergoing surgery in later years to restore my formerly beautiful skin.
Wearing a tshirt to school led to a teacher writing an email to my parents explaining them that I have "fresh cuts" on my arms, despite my being clean for five months at the time. My past decisions do not have to overshadow my current nor my future relationships, but I feel like for most people, not knowing is the only way they CAN treat me like a normal person.
While most assume that I am very confident and happy with life, getting out of bed every day is a challenge. And it doesn't just magically get easier from attending therapy, I have been in therapy for almost 10 years now and all of my problems started at 11.
I pay for my mistakes every day unless I wear longsleeved clothing at all times.
My scars look better now but still make me feel uncomfortable, the skin is damaged beyond healing perfectly and I have decided that I do not want to have children for this reason. There are fewer people than one may assume who are able to handle someone that has hurt themselves in multiple ways in the past. I used to be very suicidal, but since I've dealt with these feelings for around seven years now, I treat people who are open about being suicidal very differently.
During the past year, a teacher fell for me and kicked me, a straight A student, out of his class in my final year. He was the only one who knew about my self harm and I didn't want to risk him exposing me to other teachers, so I accepted my sealed fate. Still, I am sick of being treated like someone who is worth LESS.
And I will not back down for not being able to cope with issues beyond my life experience and capacities, especially since I am now dealing with them.
What is your take on adolescent issues in modern times? Have they become more or less prominent than when you were a teenager?
Would you date someone who has self harmed in the past?