Reasons Why I Think Women File for Divorce More Than Men/Why Relationships Fail

ragequeen

Hello! It`s time again for a small rant. I`ve noticed recently that a majority of the most frequently asked questions on GaG are about women filing for divorce and why. As I think most of it is pure coincidence, and every couple has its own issues, I have a few ideas (being a woman) about why this could be.

1. Women are experiencing an increasing amount of pressure and competition on social media.

This is pretty much a given. Instagram, the rise of OnlyFans, and pornographic websites are making it easier for men to enjoy the idea of "a perfect woman". Some people raise their standards and/or expect their ideal woman to look like this, others don`t. Regardless, the concept that these websites are becoming so normalized, makes it harder and harder for women to feel happy with themselves. They believe these perfect women exist everywhere. Why should their man want to stay with them if he has access to "better" (not necessarily real!) looking individuals? As women feel the competition, their struggle to accept their self-image is intensified. They simply don`t feel good enough anymore. Being single solves all those feelings because they don`t have to deal with the same amount of jealousy and competition.

Reasons Why I Think Women File for Divorce More Than Men/Why Relationships Fail

2. Women are told they need to "be something".

It`s more common now that young women are encouraged by family and friends to make something big of themselves. We women today are told we need to take advantage of our freedom and become huge and successful. We should go to school, make lots of money, work hard and provide for ourselves. Since we have this prerogative from a young age, a lot of us may feel that we don`t need a man or partner to help us regulate family and/or personal finances. Also, choosing a school and career life makes it more difficult to date because there are fewer times and less energy to do so. Women may not want the drama, hard work, or money put into a relationship when they have to focus on their careers and educations. Thus, men and women both become career-orientated and have less time for each other. Women who want to be at home are looked down upon when in reality, they have the strongest and healthiest relationships with their partners.

Reasons Why I Think Women File for Divorce More Than Men/Why Relationships Fail

3. Modern movements are telling women that they are strong, independent, and don`t need anyone.

Modern feminism is on the rise and its core value is that "women are strong, independent and don`t need anyone", which puts pressure on women to be single and don`t need men. While this can be true for some (some are just naturally loners and prefer to stay that way), it is far from portraying reality. Men and women need each other. It`s a biological fact. We need each other to survive, to reproduce, socialize, and share our talents and gifts. If humans did not need each other or the other sex, we would all be the same. Humanity would be much like most animal species that have ever existed; they mate and separate. No pair-bonding, no emotional connection. But since we are born with these feelings and instincts, the definition of happiness and having a successful relationship closely correlates with this biological imperative.

Reasons Why I Think Women File for Divorce More Than Men/Why Relationships Fail

Men and women need each other. It`s a biological fact

4. Rather than fixing an issue, women are told and encouraged to leave as soon as something seems wrong or out of place.

"Signs He is Toxic", "Signs He Is Losing Interest" are just a few of many different articles that have spread like wildfire in the last decade or so. As these articles may seem useful in many situations, they actually do way more harm than good. This is because, just like anything else you Google, it can be misleading, inaccurate, and "easy" information. An example of an article I read the other day on Signs He is Toxic, I found points that said "he is messy", "is unable to see things from your perspective", "needs to be the center of attention" etc. Well, if you twist it around, you can see that the article is written in YOUR favor, rather than seeing the man`s perspective. Also, remember that the WOMAN is in charge! She has the upper hand! She is a strong, independent woman and she doesn`t need you! So why should she work for you? (That was sarcasm for those who didn`t get that).

For example, if you are selfish or narcissistic (people won`t know that they are), of course, your man wants to be the center of attention sometimes. He WILL find it difficult to see things from your perspective. Because it takes two to tango. My point is, these articles make it so easy for women to Google a type of behavior she disapproves of her partner, only for it to say that the man is TOXIC and she should leave. What these articles do not show you is how to make amends and look within yourself and see if there is something YOU did that made him act in such a manner. Instead of communicating better, women find comfort in these articles that tell her exactly what she wants to hear. What does she do? She splits. Instead of fixing her relationship.

Reasons Why I Think Women File for Divorce More Than Men/Why Relationships Fail

- Final thoughts -

Am I saying being successful is bad? That women should not choose success, careers, and themselves over love? Hell no. What I am saying is that there are some things we just have to accept as people in order for something to work. Humans have to accept that you can`t become really good at something overnight, it takes practice and hard work. They also have to accept that not everyone in the world can like you. Such is the thing with relationships. We have to accept that it takes certain things from each part for it to work. We can`t have a hectic lifestyle molded around ourselves and include someone else in that lifestyle. We can`t have a poor self-image and put that insecurity on our partners. In the end, we do have a lot of freedom, and every one of us needs to really figure out what WE want in life. Not what society, our family members or social media tells you you should want.

Reasons Why I Think Women File for Divorce More Than Men/Why Relationships Fail
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Anonymous
    The thing is, my career won't beat me, it won't force me to do all the chores and take care of it like it's my child, it won't cheat on me, it won't gamble away all my money.

    It sounds like you have lived a very privileged/ sheltered life which is great for you! However, not everyone can live in a fairytale. Men are no longer even brought up to believe they should "take care of" a woman, they are brought up to think that women are inferior, that's it. Many of them question this and grow beyond it but many of them don't.

    If you end up married to the kind of man who never questioned what he was taught to think you are going to have a ROUGH life. Especially if you don't have a career to fall back on.

    My ex wanted to be the breadwinner and guess what? One person shouldering all the financial struggle while the other cleans up everyone's mess just makes everyone bitter! When you both have a career and can both cook and clean up after yourselves like adults you form a better team, things go more smoothly, and both the money-making and household chores go by faster!

    With my husband, he's not out working all the time because we can both work just under full-time hours to make a good living. We get home around the same time and we make dinner together, we bond and have fun while completing a necessary Chore! Who could have imagined!

    With my ex my life was just cooking and cleaning with the odd night out that was always overshadowed by our stress, his stress of financial struggles, and my stress over having to wash his dirty underwear all the time, spoiler! it's not sexy when you have to try and stain remove a shitstain from your traditionalist breadwinner man's man boyfriend's shorts!

    With my husband, we both have time to go hiking and take pottery classes and go to the gym or to yoga or whatever we want in the middle of the week because everything is equally managed by both of us. I cannot tell you how much more free time you end up with. THEN we also have a dinner date every week or two weeks.

    Strict gender roles ruined my life for years but rejecting them gave me a strong and happy marriage that is harmonious and efficient! By all means, though, go live as a trad wife and then try and tell me feminism is wrong. Have fun! I won't be joining though!
    Is this still revelant?
    • What if your ex could provide without being so busy and bitter? It would be a damn near impossible mission to provide a suitable life for your entire family with a W2 job. Those who possess a high level of financially literacy and own assets don’t have to work as hard for money as time goes on.

    • hahahmm

      In the traditional world, you spend 5 minutes cleaning undies and you push some buttons on a fancy washing machine. Then you spend hours whining about it to your girlfriends. Meanwhile the guy spends hours maintaining your car and doesn't bitch even once. He spends hours doing all kinds of maintenance around the house that you wouldn't want to do for 1 minute. He's there to take a bullet for you when some bad guys show up and most women aren't eager to swap roles there. Yeah, I think taking a bullet for you is worth you washing my undies with a smile on your self-centered face.

    • hahahmm

      @Not_Average A lot of these women only want to be there when times are good. Don't want to spend a year with a guy who is working his way up the ladder because it's not all fun and partying. The guy will remember that when he has to decide whether to stick out her hard times with her one day.

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    Let's not be so naive here. Men are the primary issue of why relationships fail. They lie, cheat and manipulate to get what they want instead of being honest. Men are extreme narcissist and have unrealistic expectations of women. Men could walk around looking like nutty professor with ashy feet yet expect women to look like angelina jolie. Get real.

    Women are told to be something because they should. Simply relying on a man to be a man has proven to be extremely difficult in society because majority of them now want womanly roles. Even worse they aren't reliable they will walk out on you when the next new shiny toy arrives. Stop being so naive.
    Is this still revelant?
    • jack187625

      Well, that's extremely helpful.

      "All men are bastard's, think way to highly of themselves and are generally the root of all problems"

      Women and men are both told what they should look like by the media, and social media has exacerbated this problem. Women are slowly pushing the boundaries out (body positivity etc) but that isn't really enough. The main problem is that people exploit weakness in others.

      Yes women should be something, but so should everyone. Ideally, everyone should be able to stand on their own two feet.

      I'm interested in what you think a "womanly" role is?

      I get the feeling you have had things happen to you, that is making you extremely pessimistic about men. Not just specific ones, but the entirety of men. As if they are all one and the same.

    • Yes lol everything is men's fault and women can do no wrong 😆

    • j792999

      Lol bitter

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • YHL6965
    1. I would also factor in the fact that women can easily find a new partner, especially while they are still relatively young. However, as age goes by, that chance decreases significantly, particularly for serious, quality relationships and some women might buy into the illusions that they will just find another man.

    2. I completely agree. Being career oriented, having a good career is overrated as you miss out on a lot of good, even crucial things in your life and I think women are sold the "good career = happy life" way too much.

    3. Again, I completely agree. Several women buy into that lie, especially after break ups, thinking they don't need anyone, that everything will be fine all by themselves but, deep inside, they crave that bond, that love that a relationship can provide but they have a hard time admitting they need a man to get that. Another oversold lie fueled by our current society. Unfortunately for them, they tend to face this truth when it's a bit too late and so they are left with the "leftovers" of the dating world, with less choice and less time to build things together, particularly a family.

    4. I think this also mixes very well the "prince charming" illusion that so many love stories have built. There is no perfect man, just like there is no perfect woman. We both have flaws and it's up to us to communicate and make things work if these flaws get in the way. Some flaws can be "corrected" to an extent, but the best mindset in my opinion is to learn to accept them.

    The ease for women to get men to like them can also play a role into that : "why should I stick with you when so many men are attracted to me?".

    Very nice final thoughts too. I also believe that acceptance plays a big role in relationship, and in life in general. Many things can't be changed and the only thing we can do is to accept them. As you also said it well, living your life is about doing what YOU want, what YOU like, not what others/society wants. That's the only key to happiness.

    Great take overall!
    Is this still revelant?
    • ragequeen

      Exactly! You included some insightful points to the Take. I agree with everything! Thanks for completing it :)

    • YHL6965

      Thank you!

      I also forgot to mention something : some women, especially after bad relationships or feeling disappointed in love in general, might turn towards "ego boosts" like Instagram or even straight up porn like OnlyFans or things like that and, while the ego boosts might feel nice on the moment, they eventually turn hollow and will never replace actual love and emotional intimacy.

    • Guanfei

      Both of you summed my points well. So I guess I don't need to comment :p

  • Clarke498
    1. I disagree. This is just as rough on men as it is for women. With the six packs, swinging dicks and truckloads of money we're all supposed to have. So to use this as a "female" issue is quite insulting.
    Also, wouldn't becoming single just emphasize these problems? That being single just proves all these issues to be true?

    2. Though i agree, does it really fit here? Wouldn't this rather lead to relationships not forming instead of falling apart later?

    3. 👍

    4. Though again i agree, i think these mostly work on idiots that already has relationships ready for breaking.
    Like for example, did you see the comedy special "Jigsaw"?
    Is this still revelant?
    • ragequeen

      On point #2 I forgot to elaborate on how it`s relevant to my main point. What I think is that if women get into a relationship and become comfortable as a housewife, she might get pressure later from either family or society that she should "be something". One day, she might feel so stressed and feel like she hasn`t gone anywhere in life that she decides to divorce or break up.

    • Clarke498

      Ah ok.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Kaamraj
    Women file for divorce vast majority of the times because there are no repercussions. The courts are totally on their side. Be it alimony, division of property or child custody, men have nothing to gain from marriage. MGTOW
  • MrOracle
    It's important to understand that the Feminist movement was taken over by Marxists in the 1960s, and have been pushing Marxist goals ever since, and, most critically, Marxist doctrine is to destroy western culture completely, and one of the main bullet points to do that is to destroy the nuclear family. That's a stated goal of Feminism, in fact.

    Feminist icons have not tried to hide their antipathy for the family unit:

    Gloria Steinem described marriage as “an arrangement for one and a half people.”
    Andrea Dworkin wrote, “How can anyone love someone who is less than a full person, unless love itself is domination per se?”
    Kate Millett wrote, “so long as every female, simply by virtue of her anatomy, is obliged, even forced, to be the sole or primary caretaker of childhood, she is prevented from being a free human being.”
    Betty Friedan wrote, “women who ‘adjust’ as housewives, who grow up wanting to be ‘just a housewife,’ are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps… they are suffering a slow death of mind and spirit.”
    Linda Gordon said, “the nuclear family must be destroyed… Whatever its ultimate meaning, the break-up of families now is an objectively revolutionary process.”
    Robin Morgan said “We can’t destroy the inequities between men and women until we destroy marriage.”
    Mary Jo Bane said, “in order to raise children with equality, we must take them away from families and communally raise them.”
    Vivian Gornick said, “being a housewife is an illegitimate profession… The choice to serve and be protected and plan towards being a family maker is a choice that shouldn’t be. The heart of radical feminism is to change that.”
    Helen Sullinger said, “We must work to destroy [marriage]… The end of the institution of marriage is a necessary condition for the liberation of women. Therefore it is important for us to encourage women to leave their husbands and not to live individually with men… All of history must be rewritten in terms of oppression of women.”

    It shouldn't be any surprise that relationships are no longer working; women (and to a lesser degree, men too) have been taught new rules and expectations by radical feminist leaders (who are avowed Marxists to the last) that hetero relationships are evil and must be destroyed. This was NOT an accident - this was planned and completely intentional. Families make western societies (with their troublesome individual rights and freedoms) strong, and Marxists can't have that - they need us weak, so that we can be destroyed.

    It's also no surprise that women are starting to realize that, having done everything Feminists have told them to do in order to be happy, that they're less happy as a whole than they ever were - and by a large margin. This is particularly true for women in their 30s and 40s, who find themselves without a partner, and often without children, and realize that their career is hard work and isn't satisfying, but their prospects at building a family at that age are slim and "suitable" partners are very few.

    Regardless of Feminism's original goals, it's been completely usurped and is now teaching the destruction of the family and ultimately of the entire society. It makes life harder for everyone and less happy for everyone. This is provably true and easy to see, and even left-leaning magazines are full of articles about women being less happy than ever (the difference is: they blame men for this).

    So, why do we support these ideas? Do we really have people who can't wait to be assigned to work a collective farm, and move their family into a one-bedroom crackerbox apartment (of course, if you're single, you get assigned to a dormitory)? Is that really the goal?
    • @MrOracle. Absolutely correct and yet there are these idiot men with "this is what a feminist looks like" t-shirts and girls who insists feminism is about "equality". These women scream for feminism but have no idea what they are talking about.

    • Yeah, men and women who are against this need to stand up. I'll never negotiate with anyone that intentionally desires to manipulate a whole society of people for gain, including the vulnerable and my own friends and family.

  • Xoxocutekitty
    1. Men are experiencing an increasing amount of pressure and competition on social media.. gone of the days where "hard labor" can represent your strength in the field. Hello tech rich and venture nespotism. Men fight each other for the biggest promotion and salary, thinking they need to make 6 figures to 'get a woman' yet, those same 6 figures do nothings to 'keep' a partner romantically if he stays late in the office every day, too busy oogling his coworkers.

    2. Men are told they need to "be something". For centuries men have always had the right and privilege to be something. Now, when women are granted the same freedoms, they realize that this cultural narrative sucks, while at the same time, refusing to give it 'up for themselves. It's easier to blame the 'new generation' rather than support other people aspiring to live up to their own goals.

    3. Traditional Men are choosing to walk away from women that are strong, independent, and don`t need anyone financially or to bring them down emotionally. If he won't do his own dirty laundry, how is he supposed to manage hers from time to time? Why rely on only one income when two can put money away for a rainy day twice as fast. Men, is doing the dishes and talking through your issues, really worth a second salary?

    4. Rather than fixing an issue, men are shown time and time again that they should be praised for showing any emotion, even the damaging ones that escalate existing problems. "I feel angry that you would want me to walk the dumb dog at the end of a long day. My father let the dog shit in the woods and I already went to the grocery store this month!" - not a helpful display of emotion.

    In the end, we do have a lot of freedom, and every one of us needs to really figure out what WE want in life. Women want men who want women to succeed in life too. Someone who doesn't bully her into having "smaller career goals" or think that his "long day" is so much harder than hers. If we all play by the same rules, hate the game and become a better team player to win together. It's not that hard.
  • 1. Women are experiencing an increasing amount of pressure and competition on social media.

    Yes, porn is popular, but any man will tell you that having sex with a real woman is far better than jerking off to porn.

    2. Women are told they need to "be something".

    Why can't women make this decision for themselves, especially since your next point is. . .

    3. Modern movements are telling women that they are strong, independent, and don`t need anyone.

    "Modern feminism is on the rise." Most modern women reject the tenets of hard-core feminism.

    4. Rather than fixing an issue, women are told and encouraged to leave as soon as something seems wrong or out of place.

    Again, you are saying that women are sheep and do whatever they are told to do. Maybe that does apply to some women, but the advice they are receiving is closer to home. Women tend to talk to their friends about marital problems more frequently than guys, and the advice they often hear is to "divorce his ass."

    There are other reasons why women file for divorce more often than men. For some men, staying in a poor marriage and having access to at least occasional sex is better than being alone. Many women are not oriented to problem solving and don't put in the effort to fix problems before they pull the plug on the relationship. Many women tend to be more impulsive than men and file for divorce at the first sign of trouble.
    • True

    • Actually I prefer porn. Women take too much effort to make it worth the investment. Porn a investments just a website.

    • @VanillaSalt I'm sure there are other men who might agree with you but I think most men would prefer a real woman and sex instead of masturbation.

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  • Now I'd font know the word filing, but my experience is that far more of us women rather go for divorce than men who want to keep a good relationship rather than ruin a relationship, them guys are willing to fight for love , while we usually run away from love and responsibilities. Yet another embrassing thing about our gender
  • Kiffin11
    I agree to an extent but I also very much disagree. I do think that modernised society and social media are more feminist driven obviously because of societal developments. This would mean that the content in tabloids and more centered around depicting women as independent, mature and strong. There is competition to be the first to win the 'rat race' towards having the perfect family, the ideal job, the most understanding and supportive partner and family. Yet I do not think this is limited to women. I do believe that women have more pressure to 'achieve' due to the strive for equality, however the same can be applied for males because traditional views still exist and women are still primarily stay at home parents and caretakers.

    I do not however, at all, believe that your last point is a good one. Not because it isn't valid, because there is a focus of toxicity and manipulation in modern society and sometimes these things are used as an excuse to not fix faults in a relationship. However this can be seen as victim blaming. If anyone, not even just women, see signs of gaslighting, abuse or manipulation they should not feel like they cannot leave. That the only option is to 'fix it' because you can improve your faults, but you can't fix someone else's actions. Especially if they don't see it as a problem. Most people do communicate if they are unhappy or it something surpasses their boundaries. If despite this, the significant other continues to not care enough to meet you in the middle and change their actions then that is not a relationship work fixing. It is not a healthy mindset to think ' what did i do to make him react that way' even he is acting irrationally and trying to gaslight you to make you feel like you are at fault for behaviour that is not warranted or acceptable.

    If you are unhappy, and things are not working despite you trying to compromise and meet each other in the middle, the leaving should be an option. Fixing things is often so normalised, and while that is often ideal and best case scenario, leaving shouldn't be stigmatized either.
  • wysiwyg2525
    It works both ways. Instead of asking the questions you asked. You should of asked yourself that same question. We are all guilty when it comes to the social media. Stop and thing this goes further back then social media. You got TV shows, movies, billboards, magazines and so much more that programed us what we wanted. This is why we always had hig expectations. Dont blame it on the porn. The blame falls on the creaters of the list above. Now Hollywood and other TV networks are bringing in the all type of people in the movies etc... here is an example if your in checkout line and you see a muscular guy great smile look at you and your checking him out. Then you have a regular guy behind you dressed nice shirt and slacks that has a smile and is willing to help you put that case of water on the belt. But now your to stuck on looking at a guy that has lots of number on his phone and he probably wast really looking at you you just liked looking at him. Now he gone your thoughts are everywhere besides the guy behind you. That guy behind you jas a great job pays his bills, owns a car and lives alone with no roommates. He still says hi to you. You say hi back but nothing else because your mind is somewhere else. Same goes for men. Men your just as guilty as the women.

    You really can't blame the dating websites either. Why you may ask well its free for women and men got to pay. This is what women call a free date because I'm board. See its the same thing as paying for sex but in a different format.

    Girls are as guilty as men. Dont get married. If it is going so good then why complicate things with a paper. Is it because you want that one Cinderella night. You can have that anytime. Stop criticizing men. Women need to have self respect and stop trying to play both sides. Then you wonder why guys turn and become assholes. Men do not need to cater for you. If you can't do things on your own then your really should be in the relationship. Guys just be you. Never change for anyone unless its your way of personal growth.
    • Rei02

      You are right about how are we getting programmed, both men and women, and that is why our perspective about relationships and marriage has been changing.

      Marriage has been created not because of what society and Hollywood has sold us like "love and romance", it was for economical and the gender role organization in society in the past. Women couldn't be financially independent, and their families needed them to get married either to increase their richness (eg the dowry), or for not becoming a financial liability.

      As time went by, women have become more independent financially: getting jobs in society where they could get earnings, the right to get a business, a property, an own financial account, etc. However, there was still the task for bearing children, having a family.

      Nowadays having a family is an option where there is no need to get a partner or one doesn't mind it (child free, single parenting, adoption). And having children doesn't mean that the parents have to be together if that means emotional and psychological damage in the family.

      So why getting married?, so the kids can get legal rights faster. But if that can be gotten without the parents marriage, then why?

  • HikerDude
    Number 3 is a big one, I think. Women increasingly act like men are meaningless to them, which is both sad and a repudiation of their basic biology. Men and women were created to need and want each other. Feminism has infected women with the belief that men are most just potential hindrances to female happiness and "empowerment."
  • zeitgeist057
    Well written, there are lots of reasons, and you've definitely hit on some perspectives with a lot of logic to them.

    I think this culture is becoming more and more independent on both sides. We have MGTOW and incels on the male side as well, which is basically males that can pull and don't want to bother, and men who can't pull and don't want to stress about it (but seem to anyway). Yes, we need each other, but then again, we don't really. I've been celibate for over a year now, and working on my career and education. I literally don't have time for dating, I often don't even have time enough for adequate sleep.

    I thought I would give it a go anyway to try and fit a female into my life, so I got phone numbers from 4 different cute girls I had met, and chatted up a couple others in my classes without asking for their numbers. In all situations, I found each and every one of them to be flaky or otherwise missing the mark when it came to hanging out and getting to know each other more intimately. Since I really don't have enough spare time to get into chasing and pestering them and putting in more effort, I just let them go, stopped trying to connect, and haven't heard from any of them for over a month now.

    I've had a theory in the past which has been true probably about 80% of the time: that is if I put in enough effort and energy into giving a female attention, she will date me. But I'm caring less and less to put in all that effort when what I get in return is a lazy attitude of letting me put in all the effort. I've decided if women aren't interested in me, I've got better things to do than waste my time.
    • There's a solution you're not seeing:

      Date better women, and filter out the time-wasters BEFORE they crowd up your dating calendar.

    • @SomeGuyCalledTom I'm not so sure I deserve better women. I'm not exactly a catch atm. I work 48-64 hours/week, and have a 15 unit college load on top of that. Most of my days involve attempting to get more than 5 hours of sleep, getting up to go to work, working 16 hours and going home to get 5-6 hours of sleep before waking up for another 16. hour shift. On my slow days, I might only work from 11p-7am, then have classes and schoolwork to do for another 8-10 hours, and hopefully get a little sleep.

      Maybe someday in the future, when I'm in a more lucrative career and can slow down again to smell the roses, I'll look for these "better women" you are talking about. For now, I don't have a "dating calendar" or time to filter or even position myself to meet anyone specific. It's just whomever happens to be occupying the same space as me, which right now is fellow students, coworkers, and one random girl who starting talking to me at an intersection while we were waiting for the light to turn green (I was on my motorcycle a couple feet from her window.)

    • Ah fair play, that's a tough one. Hopefully once your working hours stabilise, you'll be in a better position career wise where you won't need to do a lot of chasing women. I do wonder if the fuckboy type guys who are always chasing women just have too much time on their hands. At least you'll have an actual career for your efforts, and any quality woman would prefer a guy with a career than some waster who just chases girls all day

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  • TheFlak38
    Another nonsensical man-hating rant by a woman trying to portray the female collective as the victims.

    1. There is zero competition for women nowadays unless your standards are so astronomically high that you're not happy with the millions of options you have. The ugliest woman on the planet today can find a sucker husband who will become a doormat for her. The average woman is mentally fucked up and still gets married and we even see, women who obese, disabled, scarred for life getting married. You have no excuse. The sexual marketplace is rigged in your favor. If you don't like your options then that's your problem. Men have no options at all.

    2. Who's fault is that? If you're too stupid to adhere to the natural order of things and instead do what the system asks you to be (a corporate slave) again that's your problem. And your job is not even a real job. All you do is sitting behind a desk complaining about mansplaining and sexist air conditioning while you're getting one promotion after another just because you have a vagina.
    "choosing a school and career life makes it more difficult to date because there are fewer times and less energy to do so"
    Just try for a moment to think what a man is going through who is working his ass off ten times harder than you and on top of that trying to come up with a plan for an ideal date with you just so he can get a chance to ejaculate into your vagina. Just yesterday we had a question here from another entitled woman who was triggered that her boyfriend asked her to make plans for Valentines day this year. And of course she didn't like that. You have the easiest life ever. Quit bitching.

    3. "Men and women need each other. " no lass. we dont need you. It is YOU who need us. Without men you are nothing. Literally nothing. Everything you enjoy today is being provided by men. You have nothing positive to put on the table and sex is being used by you as a bargaining tool.
    "We need each other to survive, to reproduce" you dumb bitch, if you care so much about reproduction then you can start by trying to convince women to have sex with the millions of incelibate who are desperate to get laid just once in their life. Will you do it? Of course not. You have the same astronomical standards as every other female today. Don't pretend that you care about reproduction, preserving your culture or any of that tradthot bullcrap. Why the hell do you think lover dolls exist? Why do you think scientists and engineers around the globe are developing sex bots and artificial wombs? It's to bring balance to the sexual marketplace and give men the opportunity to get the rights of reproduction for the first time in human history while sexual pleasure can be provided without having to do special favours and jumping through your hoops like a circus animal.

    4. No mention of how the divorce courts and the State make it beneficial for a woman to dump her man. Women aren't encouraged to leave because of some stupid article they found on google. Women dump their men because they earn money by doing so. My father was almost left homeless after his divorce and avoided it thanks to his uncle who owns a hotel and gave him a room for free while he was building his life up from scratch.
    • hahahmm

      True. Saw a news story a few months back about a woman who was only a rookie cop (under 2 years on the job). Because she got pregnant they decide to promote her to DETECTIVE so she would have more free time to be with her kid. So ridiculous.

  • SomeGuyCalledTom
    Well written. I happen to agree with these points, although of course there can and will be other explanations too.

    The hypergamy angle, for example, is already well explained elsewhere, and I know someone here will call me an incel if I dare offer some personal extrapolation of that particular behavioral theory. But I think it probably correlates to at least a third of all female-initiated divorces.

    It's also telling that the most frequent rates of divorce in Western countries can be traced to perimenopausal or postmenopausal women in 40s-early 50s. No single other age+gender group initiate divorces with such high frequency as this group. 'The Female Brain' by Louann Brizendine explores this topic quite rigorously (surprise, surprise, feminists are not a fan of her works, because she dares point out the roles that women's shifting biological imperatives play in divorce rates/ relationship breakdowns. Biological arguments don't bode well with social constructionist movements, of which modern feminism is just one subsidiary of many).

    Then again, it's not always clear which way runs the direction of causality. Do perimenopausal women divorce more because their biological changes "wake them up" to the fact their husbands were shitty and toxic all along? Or do they divorce more because their biological changes trigger some opportunistic flight away from the home nest in search of "novel experiences"? It's not entirely clear without zooming in to the individual conditions involved in each couple's relationship breakdown + divorce.

    Of course there's also plenty of divorces that, while initiated by the woman, were a consequence of the man's objectively shitty behavior.

    All that being said, its hard to entertain such a multitude of possibilities in an online forum, because the echo chamber nature of the Internet makes it so that everyone wants to slot your views into one 'camp' or the other. It's "you're either with us or against us". But the multivariate approach is the only truly viable one. There's all kinds of reasons a marriage can fall apart, from abuse to mismatched values to infidelity to plain, simple opportunism.

    And of course, there's the ever-present factor of shifting biological imperatives throughout the typical human life cycle. funnily enough, men's imperatives remain fairly static throughout life, whereas women's are comparatively tumultuous. But I don't need to tell you ladies this -- girls generally figure out by puberty that life's got a bumpy road ahead of them, biologically speaking. But this tumultuousness can also cause all kinds of rifts in a relationship, since a woman going through menopause might as well be a whole different person than she was on the day she said "yes" to a marriage proposal. Men, on the other hand, tend to be pretty contented once we've got our ducks all in a row. But then some married men are also tempted by young fertile women, and don't have a well developed set of values to allay those temptations.

    So, it all gets rather complicated, because any, all, or none of these explanations might apply in any particular case of divorce. And we may need a whole distinct set of possible explanations for male-initiated divorces. Which I guess is a rather longwinded way of saying "it depends on the individuals involved".

    As Dostoevsky put it, "happy families are all the same. Unhappy families are each unhappy in their own way." We can easily explain why a happily married couple stays together: THEY'RE CLEARLY HAPPIER BEING TOGETHER THAN BEING APART. Period. No further analysis needed. But a couple whose relationship has crashed and burned? Well, you gotta conduct a fucking FBI investigation over years and years to get anything resembling a half-satisfactory explanation as to what went wrong. That couple's unhappiness is so unique to them, you couldn't draw precedent from any other failed marriage in all history.
  • Oram52
    Interesting insights but it just doesn't explain women initiating 70% of divorces, 70% is simply too steep.

    1) Women read romance novels too which by the way do give women unrealistic expectations according to research. Nearly 65% of population is overweight or obese, more and more women are putting less effort in appearance. So I don't think this makes any significant impact, we all have insecurities.

    2) There is nothing wrong with that, I'd say its a good thing. Ultimately it comes down which is priority in our lives career or relationship. Its not surprising people who put career above relationships are more likely to be divorced. From guys perspective women putting career over relationship should be a red flag, somebody you should be avoiding anyway.

    3) Many men love strong ambitious independent women. Men don't like psuedo independent women, I don't need no man type. If you don't need no man then why get into a relationship let alone get married?

    Relationships need inter-dependence its in the word relationship. You are absolutely correct we are wired we do seek companionship and love. These woke and feminist pseudo-empowered types are smaller proportion though. Majority of actual independent ambitious women do want a partner, they don't *need* a partner but want a partner.

    4) This unfortunately is true. Men are no saints, men have plenty of shortcomings, but if you look at these articles, or char shows women watch. Its always men's fault. Look at the anonymous answer. Its always framed that way.

    It does take two to tango, men have shortcomings but women do to. If there has to be resolution then both sides need to be taken into consideration.

    These pseudo-empowered types who don't need no man are also the ones bitter and angry when they turn 40. Other problem is men are also becoming more and more apathetic. If women don't need no man then why try be a man women may desire. Look at the growth man-childs. More men seeking refuge in porn and shunning actual physical contact. More and more men becoming content with mere sexual relationships. STIs have increased in people over the age of 40, more and more older men are adopting bachelor lifestyle after divorce.

    Its women themselves who are complaining about current state of dating. The attitude of anonymous answer is exactly what is contributing to it. If you don't need no man then men are also content with just having fun.

    Women initiating 70% of divorces is simply too high, no doubt about it financial aspects also contribute to it. They also think they can find better, which doesn't work if they have 35, that's the reality. Majority of these women regret getting divorce. They're the ones who are now bitter and complaining can't find a good man or men wouln't put effort in dating. People used to laugh at MGTOW but it continues to grow.

    At the end men have no problem, men get over the divorce, get over the pain of losing their kids. But makes men very angry is losing half their assets they worked hard for. If she wants out that's fine but why should men loose half their possessions. I am independent ambitious woman but not when it comes to taking half his crap. If you are independent ambitious woman and take half his possessions you're a hypocrite and you're NOT independent.

    Interesting MyTake nonetheless like I said many men love independent ambitious women, research shows men between the ages of 18-35 equally contribute at home only slightly lagging in child care. So that should not have such significant impact, financial aspect definitely play big role. And like I said its women themselves complaining about what men are turning into it. I don't think more and more men becoming apathetic is a good thing, especially young men who are not even married yet.
  • worldscolide
    All of this is about right. People, not just women, are taught that the first time something goes wrong, you just throw it away... Even marriages.. Worst part of this, its not the man nor the woman that is hurt the most with this, Its any children that are involved.
  • hahahmm
    Points 3 & 4 are the biggest issue but some foolish men have yet to realize that you can't have a real relationship with a "feminist" who's main goal in life is to compete with men.
    • Just because she works outside the home to help provide and doesn’t stay when he beats and cheats doesn’t mean she’s a feminist.

    • @Whitemeatchicken Thankfully no. And yet why are those who identify themselves as feminists are so radically different than my mom, family members and girlfriend? Nice gaslighting there, girl. But you clearly missed his point.

    • hahahmm

      @Whitemeatchicken The article I'm replying to isn't about abuse victims.

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  • Prof_Don
    If women didn’t win the majority of assets in divorce and walk away from the marriage with nothing as the end result, women wouldn’t file for divorce so often.

    Men usually have more to lose filing divorce, thus the idea of “cheaper to keep her”.
  • jesuschrist86
    because they want money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money money.
  • hi_it_is_me123
    It is probably because some men cheat and women ain't cucks and that is why they file for divorce. Lol again mgtow incels gathere here around and blame every shit on women. It is also because women are pressured to marry young or before 30s while nobody judge a fucking single 30 years man for being single. So wtf you except if you you dont give women time to work on their personality and dont let them have some adult life experience and discriminate them for aging and "hitting the wall". Men can literally wait till their 40s to marry but women can't even wait till late 20s and most of the men usually prefere 18-25 which are very young but get pissed when they ain't mature as them due to the age difference and other factors. Also the brain get developed till the age of 24-25. So if you refuse to marry a mature woman and discriminate women due to her age then it is your own fault.
    And nobody would file a divorce for no reason and just destroy a marriage especially if you have kids. So i think these women have their reasons.
    • So you are blaming for having caarers? What about men with caarers?

    • R4zor

      Men with careers won't want angry aggressive women you know...

    • So women with caarers ain't want a stupid manchild who can't read and ignore facts

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  • TayTay21
    Another reason women initiated so many divorces is that their husbands stop piping them down. Men tend to lose interest after a period of years, and women need sex at least every so often, so they eventually reach a breaking point when their men refuse to do anything about it.
  • DC_Underground
    You hit the nail on the head. To be honest the people who chase careers to try and “be something” in order to “find” themselves. But i see so many people who are miserable with their jobs. There are only 3 professionals I truly respect about someone... a doctor or someone in the medical field that saves lives, a teacher/professor that inspires students to be better or a lawyer who truly fights for the human rights of others. Now I will respect anyone who works hard at their job as long as it is not a despicable career. But I truly don’t know what girls want nowadays? Girls can complain that guys are like and that. But I almost think girls and women today (not all) don’t know what they want in life. Because maybe she had a bad childhood or absent parents and dated a few guys that were not good guys. But also this feminist movement that you don’t need anyone and always be independent. It’s fine to be independent but we should be taught to love and be close to others, not distant and self-absorbed in our own world.
  • JustTheTrue
    Modern feminist is ruining everything to be honest and I had read articles on how to keep women being attractive to a guy and honestly. They are all dumb, my friend put that out to the text and dude failed miserably mostly about the make the girl wait 3 days to reply to a text is so stupid. I text the girl the same day even if it is once a day. Those advice people give online are so dumb and I can’t understand why people follow them.
    • No they are just changing the dynamic. Before women could never leave. I mean NEVER despite reason

    • What?

  • Whitemeatchicken
    I just love reading shit that blames women. You know what? There’s a reason women are urged to have a career. With no cash flow you are inviting women to be abused. Also I have no intention of not living up to my full potential. Men are also more likely to cheat too. They cause more severe harm when they hit women too than the other way around. To hell with you.
    • There isn’t fixing a wide beater. Once one always one.

    • I agree that it's a good thing for women to be encouraged to live to their full potential. I'm not sure if there is much evidence for men cheating more. Perhaps we might brag about it or get cought more - that I can believe. Definitely true that men can hit harder, but its also true women hit men more often than men hit women.

    • @kingofthellamas No not likely. That idea was brought about because of Johnny D. and Amber Heard. Hitting is never right, especially when you realize you could hospitalize someone. Men who beat women are scum.

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  • orangecherry
    umm many animal species pair bond and stay together as couples, like eagles, coyotes, and beavers. humans are toward the monogamous end of the spectrum but no where near the extreme end. An eagle who loses her mate just lives alone until death and would never think of finding a new male eagle.
  • KrakenAttackin
    The only way for a man to win is not to play. No man should get married on this day in age.
  • Floppy2112
    I simply think women have been sold a bill of goods that they can always do better than where they are currently and impulsively act on it. Then when the regret hits and they want their guy back, the guy has moved on. Sad.
  • RohitLakra
    I usually see white families having high divorce rates in Europe and in the US if I compare it to divorce rates of Asian families. I often see both male and female Asian partners who often happen to be immigrants or second generation immigrants tend to both economically and socially successful. I believe white people tend to be more promiscuous and tend to cheat on their partners. Maybe there's something wrong with how white people look at relationships and marriages.
    • Hmmm, has anyone ever described you as being racist?

    • RohitLakra

      Grow up! I didn't even show any hatred. Just something I observed around me and many white people have told me the same lol your mind is so polluted @kingofthellamas

    • Your comment basically nsays white people sleep around. And for somehow link second generation business ownerships (true, but off topic) I'm sorry but that comes over as being racist

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  • Juxtapose
    Nah dude, it's 100% because harvesting a man's assets in divorce is very profitable and something only women can get away with.

    Men aren't as money hungry.
    • That may be because they are the ones who have the vast majority of wealth in the world. Also I’ve see where wealthy women are taken advantage of just as quickly by men as the other way around. If yoh aren’t okay with sharing your lives now, there’s no reason to think you’d be suitable if it ever ended either. The fact that you’d rather see a housewife destitute for leaving an abusive husband that having to split half of what THEY made as a married couple, tells me you are selfish and don’t deserve a wife. You have no idea of that responsibility.

    • Juxtapose

      I believe what you make is yours and what he makes is his, keep your finances separate or suffer the consequences.

      You have nobody to blame but yourself if you depend on another person like that.

    • Exactly so you think a housewife should be penniless if she ever tries to leave. Also, spouses are only entitled to half of what was made during the marriage. Shame on you for wanting mothers to be penniless, beaten and abused. They give up their life for their family. Shame on you.

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  • Unit1
    Women get pressurized to be money making machines too? That's news to me. Things I often heard around the environment I grew up in is upselling women. I'm not in these environments anymore.
    Still better becoming a busy money making machine than rushing towards marriage and kids.
    How about we give society the finger and do what makes us happy? 🤔
  • AkshiJanjua
    If women are independent they shouldn't ask for money in divorce
  • exitseven
    The courts always side with the woman. I knew guys that had good paying jobs that ended up moving back in with their parents because after the settlement they didn't have enough left over to live.
  • EdgyBoi2002
    I think relationships fail is because people get into them too fast and for the wrong reasons. People needs to be clear about their expectations and relationship breakers. People don't communicate enough. I have seen people air their relationship problems on Social Media (Both men and women). People usually tell them to divorce rather than talk about it or seek counseling.
  • Imuglyandiknowit
    or perhaps people change and no one wants to be stuck in a relationship that makes them feel miserable
  • SavageGirl101
    I mean really women don’t need a man for anything ( romantic wise) and can be as independent as they want lol it’s their choice 😹
    • Everyone can be as independent as they want. That is the case since I can remember. But people usually don't like to be alone.

    • Some people***

    • That is up for debate.

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  • Rei02
    Your article makes me think that all those issues come from our home, how have we been raised in our household about how to deal with the world around us.

    We also need to check how are our non-romantic relationships, family and close friendships, those can overshadow our abilities with creating new ones and our desicions about whom we choose as partner and if we are mature enough to form a family. And if we check the new generations, they are more self-absorved, thinking more in "me" as the number one.

    And if you have read "Brave New World", you might see that we are nearer than we can think: sexual relationships are more casual and you don't have to get married in order to get them, marriage and forming a family are becoming the equivalent of losing freedom and independence, and if something "hurts you", just leave and go to what "pleases" you.
    • Boppy

      Even though sexual relationships are treated more casually, love can still happen by accident. In college, I saw a 'friends with benefits' relationships break because one person 'caught feels.' After a few months of drama, they wound up in a normal relationship.

  • Not_Average
    Well the female responses on here certainly validate your point. My partner and I have the same exact views as you on this topic.
    • Well sorry but it isn’t just women’s faults and frankly this sounds like red pill garbage. A lot of men on here make it clear they think men can do no wrong. Well that simply isn’t true. Each case is different.

    • @Whitemeatchicken We’re seeing a transition into progressive society that looks down on men, and praise women. Men’s depression and suicide rate has never been higher. Society doesn’t favor men anymore, at least at younger ages. My partner is a clinical psychologist, and most of her clients are young men. It’s not just red pill rhetoric. These things are actually happening.

    • No your studies are biased and outdated. I just spoke to one of your kind who thinks it’s okay to mistreat women. That they shouldn’t have the same rights. Ever think maybe it’s because of how shitty of an economy we have? Ever think maybe it’s because boomers drugged their kids on Ritalin when they didn’t need it? men have always had a higher suicide rate than women anyways. I will say I’ve seen more suicides due to Covid and depression. So what’s the solution. Let’s hurt women instead is basically the idea of MGTOW and Red Pill.

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  • soleil2000
    Yeah, a lot of those. On social media, the only pressure is from other women. The cunning ones make them leave so they can get easier access to men (usually the older ones to make sure their husbands don't stray - and to pursue younger lovers).
    • Oh yes because everyone wants to go with a guy who beats women and children. Yep they are great catches. 🙄

    • Not to say all men are wife beaters. Nothing could be further from the truth. But glorifying cheating. Nah trash men and women do that.

    • soleil2000

      @Whitemeatchicken You posted in a wrong window

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  • bamesjond0069
    I think most women are not seen as "that great" to men and men settle for them and obviously they treat them like just "ehh" because they aren't great wives and thats that. No surprise it doesn't work out.

    I would never marry someone i didn't think was awesome and someone to be proud of because i know id treat them like shit eventually.

    And i think most women just go around ruining themselves by following feminism stuff.
  • Torari
    The real, statistically backed reason, is that that majority of women settle when they marry, due to the unrealistic standards women hold. When 80% of women only find 20% of men attractive. But men make up 50% of the population. What would you expect to happen?
  • cloud9vortex1234
    Welcome to the Real World. This isn't a Gender Issue. If you have dreams and aspirations then you're going to feel the pressure to achieve whether your a Man or a Woman.
  • Luv2BRealExotic13
    Men are hesitant about divorce because they want someone to take care of them. We live in a culture where everything and even people are viewed as disposable. People don’t really get to know each other and behavioral triggers anymore. If you don’t want to deal with it you don’t have to when divorce is easier now. There are some women like myself that don’t really need men. Fun to talk to sometimes and procreate but men nowadays don’t want to be men and I’m no ones mommy to pick them up when they feel down. I already know how to change my tire and change the oil in my car. Rely on a man never. Narcissists are what they are which is toxic abuse incarnate. There’s no real talking them or reasoning of any sort with them so yes absolutely divorce a person like that. There’s no definitive reason why they are the way they are. If there is it’s usually some illogical bullshit about the time their parents didn’t get them the real pony they asked for an eighth birthday or something.
  • CasaNorba
    a lot of these things have been going on WAY before social media existed. all social media has done is add fuel to the fire
  • Good take! Though, there is more to it. Women understand that their time is limited if they want to successfully have children. Wasting time with the wrong man with whom she is unhappy with is a woman’s ultimate failure, as is having children with a deadbeat father. Women file for divorce because they don’t want to keep wasting their time being unhappy, and for many of them, divorce is the best thing for them in that situation. Men have more of a tendency to neglect marital issues. “Let’s not talk about this right now” guy is the guy you do not want to end up with!


    So, while women shouldn’t cast off a man or a relationship as toxic at the drop of a hat, she should also know when it’s time to walk away. Divorce should come after other options have been exhausted and no solution or increase in happiness has been found.
    • Bluemax

      Doesn't quite explain why more women seem to be choosing men who are a waste of time.

    • MzAsh

      That’s likely for a variety of reasons. Ignorance, denial that he’ll change, etc.

    • Dumber women?

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  • DoctorNurse
    Men and Women do not experience love the same way. We have differing biological imperatives. Men usually have more to lose financially, materially and in terms of access to their children. Re-entering the dating world is a lot more taxing for a larger percentage of men.
  • Stephen_77
    Which is why I gave up on women a long time ago. Most women today are fake and are no longer respectful ladies. Best thing men can do is go MGTOW.
  • watrewks
    You got the nail on the head. I think women are chastised for being women especially by other women...
  • I totally agree with this! Thank you!! Thank you for this! I think people need to be more patient in marriage because marriage is not meant to easy or always happy. "For better... Or worse" people always always always always forget the worst part and you have to expect that you won't be the better example, that you will both be different, you need and have to expect the bad times. Be ready to argue but also have the expectation that where that is, will not be permanent but merely a place you both have to work through together.

    I personally think, more people need premarital counseling and if they had it, they marriages would be more healthy for it
  • TheSimonymous
    Reasons Why I Think Women File for Divorce More Than Men/Why Relationships Fail
  • GermanGuy87
    I think all of those are good points.

    I didn't actually know women file for divorce more than men. That's a bummer
  • Miristheiss
    Hmmm.
    All are good points, however:

    Point 1, I was say that sounds like a reason for men to file for divorce... not women... they think she isn't the "perfect woman".
    Point 2, that sounds like an argument for never marrying, not divorcing.
    Point 3, that also sounds like an argument for never marrying to begin with.

    Point 4 does seem to be a logical point for divorcing.

    All 4 seem to make compelling arguments. I wouldn't say all specifically address why women file more than men.
  • TheGuy1233
    Kinda agree and disagree. Men feel competition too and being a housewife doesn't really mean good relationship. Lots of housewives have terrible husbands but the rest I agree.
  • NoblesseObligeKK
    Girls are incentivized through the judicial process to file for divorce, whereas, guys are not. Thus, girls file for more divorces because they will more than likely win in both divorce and family courts.

    Why relationships fail? Thats because of social media algorithms and hypergamy. When a girl can see a guy whose checked 800 of her 805 dreamsheet, she will make herself available for a guy who doesn't even want her.

    In short, our society sucks and men who realize this date nonamericans.
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