I keep asking random people. In hopes of getting a perspective of what I am going through.
I ask anonymously, I go to random chat sites sometimes and ask people there.
Only to realise that no one has the answer except you.
And all I can do is wait.
I read about female psychology sometimes, again, to have an idea of what might happen, but I read that one needs to play mind games, one needs to ignore to gain attention.
I am sorry if I am needed to do that because I am incapable of that.
I can't intentionally ignore the person who means the world to me. I can't play any mind games.
All I can do is just wait.
I am slowly going numb, burying the pain somewhere inside. It's ridiculous how my emotional pain becomes physical and I am able to feel it at times. I know you have gone through a similar pain. I know you have gone through a lot more.
People tell me you are playing with me, my emotions. I know you're not even capable of that.
I told you once, that you're my sky full of stars, you can tear me apart. I gave you that right.
I just feel that you're yourself trying to get out of the mess that has been there for years. I feel like you're afriad of the same thing repeating. I feel that is why you push me away, just when I think we are taking a step closer.
But like I said once, I will not turn my back on you.
I will be there. Till I see you overcome all that you're fighting.
I don't know what else to do.
But i know that I will not leave you, even if I stay at a distance.
I wanted to ask a question anonymously. But again, who knows the answers except you.