My sister has bad taste in men. What should I do to help?

[wendigoRed]

My sister is a dean's list student. She is a very smart girl, but she's also a fun loving girl, but a good girl. I saw a guy she's seeing on Facebook today and it's been messing with me all day. He's a douchebag with a million dumb chest tattoos and he's in every picture shirtless posing like an asshole. My mom was a single mother because she had bad taste in men and I don't want that for my sister. I'm not an over-bearing brother, but this is freaking me out. Is there anything I should do or say? How should a brother handle this?

[wölfin-fräulein]

It is not your business to handle her problems if they are even actually problems. these are your perception of the man you saw not necessarily the reality. though physical appearance and how you make yourself shows your personality but you cannot be sure what kind of man the man you are mentioning is. plus that there are different types that you may not like but your sister does like, that is hers to choose.

put it inside your mind that whatever wants to happen it is her life, her choice, her experience, her consequences.

That does not mean you should not say anything as her brother because of the care you have for her. but that would be only an advice.
and an advice and giving it has its own laws. an advice needs to be logical and by evidences and experiences. not by your mere feelings about someone or something. and to give advice you have to be someone successful in the area that you are advising. and also you have to be an intelligent person. having examples to share with her, having actual evidence for the words you say, having logic behind your words.

If you want to give her some advice first have the traits that have been said. And then sit with her and talk about the subject that you want to give her some advices. give her insight about the whole situation and about the 'persons' not necessarily about an individual.

and in the end, it is hers and her choice to listen to you or not. she may listen to you or she may not. she may listen to your advices and still does not stop being with the individual you are aiming at. or she may not listen and do what she needs to do at her age, which is the age of experiences.

In the end, you cannot force her to believe what you believe and avoid experiencing in her world by your words. because the ultimate teacher for everyone is experiencing.

[DontDropIt]

You sound like Boone from the show, Lost. His stepsister was the same way. If I remember correctly, Boone went to go pay the guy off to leave her alone without his sister's knowledge. Not advising you to do that, by the way lol. I think the best way to handle it is to sit her down and talk to her. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help their own self. I know it's your sister but, assuming she isn't going to listen, you have to let her figure out her mistakes on her own but If things were to ever get physical, that's the time where you really hop in and go whoop the guy's ass and tell him to stay away from her.

[Ray78me]

Tell her as it is from a man's perspective. Let her know of what may result from her poor judgement.
Try not to seem as though you are meddling though.
You can introduce her to some "good guys" if you have any as friends or assure her that she doesn't need a Bf right now.

[ImSoSozzled]

Unfortunately, most girls just have to learn that lesson from experience :/ The most important thing you have to do is not control her. How you should handle the situation really just depends on your sister's personality. Ultimately, she's gonna do what she wants so there isn't too much you can do for her. If I were you, I'd probably just try to have a (calm) conversation with her about it sometime. Don't call this guy a douchebag or anything, but make sure she knows that she deserves a guy that treats her perfectly, you cannot change guys, etc. Who knows, maybe she'll be an anomaly and actually listen to you.

[camcam85]

Damn, I'm sorry to hear about that. It most depends on her age, if she is in her late teens or early twenties, it's going to be hard to break her of this. A lot of girls are just experimental at this stage a nd will come out of it. I would just be a protective big brother and discuss these things with her. She does look up to, obviously, but its all about your approach with her. Maybe just try to educate her on what you've seen and noticed in your time so she gets an idea.

[thetundrawolf]

Ask her if she can ignore her heart just long enough to listen to what her gut is telling her about this guy. Her heart is deceitful, it tells her how awesome and sexy Justin Bieber is (Or whoever) even though he is likely not someone you would want to see her with, either.

[Lookin4more]

Start screening guys for your sister. Introduce her to guys that you would like to see her date. Also offer your opinion casually to your sister of what you think about the guy that she is dating. The internet is your friend check these guys out on all social network sites as well as google. You can also join peopleseach to find out family, addresses etc. on the guy. Hope this helps. Good Luck!!!

[Wood-Carver777]

They won't listen to you quite simply it goes in one ear and exits the other. To her you're trying to ruin her life and her best chances with the kindest man on earth yet in reality you're trying to save her from getting hurt.

[Anonymous]

Find her a decent guy. Have her meet you for coffee @ Starbucks while you are already there with the decent guy and then allow fate to take it's course after you gave it a little push. But don't tell either the other is coming, surprise!! SURPRISE!!!