I'm not a girl, but I am a nice guy and this is what I've learned:
Girls who go for the douche bags tend to be younger and inexperienced. The roller coaster highs and lows that tend to come with relationships with douche bags are often confused for emotions associated with love and are in fact closer to addiction than an emotional bond. The alternating effect of high and low levels of dopamine in the brain duplicate the patterns that occur in the brains of people with addictions.
The other part of this is the effect on the girl's/woman's perception of themselves or their self esteem. The douche bag continually sets the bar higher: Your not good enough, I don't get enough, she's prettier than you etc. This leaves the girl/woman feeling demoralized and less then who they really are because they've let some douche bag define who they should be and so the young woman starts to think or believe that if only she were prettier or smarter, or whatever, the douche bag would love me more. After a while the douche bag gets bored and tosses the girl/woman on the scrap heap and moves on to the next conquest, leaving behind a person who's self image and self confidence have been destroyed. This makes it difficult for the girl/woman to trust, then we get in to the testing to prove intention etc. This is why the dating process is so, well, fucked up!!
Confidence is admirable and charm can be intoxicating. Unfortunately these are the common personality traits of those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder as well as Sociopaths and Psychopaths and psychopaths. By the way, these personality disorders also common in females as well as males!
After being abused verbally and psychologically, most females and males catch on and spot the trouble coming down the road! Others who have sustained too much damage have trouble coming around and may suffer a crueler fate.
Learn the traits of a healthy relationship and put them into practice. Don't put up with poor treatment!
Being nice doesn't mean you have to be a total pussy.
Once guys figure that out, they'll be better off.
In any case, I don't know why guys would want to change themselves anyway just for a girl. I think that's weak and desperate. I'd rather spend an eternity alone than ever change my personality just so someone can like me.
thanks Kambo, you're a righteous dude.
Us, girls, prefer nice guys (this is a generalization, but it is like this most times). Sometimes, nice guys believe they are friendzone because of being "too nice" or becayse they are not ignoring us or doing the things douchebags do. The problem is not that you're "too nice", it's that you, nice guys, never make your move, wait too long for it, and we believe you want nothing more than being friends, so you become a kind of "best friend", or what's even worse for you: "like a brother".
There's no way to know when the girl is ready for you to make your move, but if you don't want to be friendzoned, just don't act like you just want to be friends. Make your move when you're ready and when you believe it's a good time to make it, don't be scared, be confident and sure of yourself.
A fact you must never forget, either if you're a nice guy or a douche... Girls are humans and we are guided by several things that human nature leads us to (scents, hormones, moments, looks...) and we are all different so you need to guess and be confident about yourself because that helps a lot. If a girl doesn't like you and she likes you as a friend, that could happen to a nice guy or a douche, so don't feel bad about it. (Yup, human nature can seem to be a bitch sometimes) Some girls are friendzoned too, so we get the feeling. Don't stress over it.
Yea? When is that perfect time? I know... never!! I liked a girl, I had a huge crush on her for a year, then I told her the words "I love u".. guess what she said? "O, I'm not sure I'm not ready.. bla bla bla and guess what a douche saw and asked "Babe, wanna go out".. she was all over him... so what does that say?
That says the girl didn't like you, but she liked the other guy. It's like when that happens to girls. Of course the guy wouldn't say "I'm not ready", but he'll get another excuse. When the girl is for you and she like you back, she'll be reciprocate and answer "I like/love you" back. If she doesn't, she won't say she's interested, so you can't expect to ALWAYS be loved back. It's human nature. It's sad and depressing sometimes, but things are what they are. It's not just how you behave. As I said, there are some aspects about a guy that makes him attractive to a specific girl and unattractive to other. That's it. I'm sorry for your situation, though. We've been there, all.
You call them douchebags because they're the ones who always get the girl. You should get to know them before you call them that. You don't consider the fact that they get the girl but they can't always keep them. Nice guys keep the girl.
"Douchebags" have confidence, they make the first move, they have loads of charm, they know how to make a girl feel special, laid back, cool, they're usually handsome etc. It's what "girls" want and they're usually a bit of fun. Most girls don't expect to stay with a guy like that or expect him to stick around for her unless they've deluded themselves.
Nice guys usually have little confidence, are reclusive, don't make the first move, don't know how to make a girl feel special, uptight and nervous speaking to girls, feel they're entitled to women because they're "so nice" (we can tell), not very good looking etc. It's not what girls want.
Eventually, those girls grow up to be women who have learnt from their mistakes, whilst nice guys have had time to self discover and learn how to get a girl. The "douchebags" either learn that their behaviour isn't enough to keep a girl when they choose they want to settle down, or they never learn and live life like a bachelor.
I think I'm with the guys on this one. Here's why. I constantly hear the complaints of my girlfriends about their bf's/husbands. I also know them (and bf's/spouses) well enough to know their history and they all have a past that includes being attracted to jerks. It's not that I'm not a good and sympathetic friend, I am! But I cannot forget that we were all warned when we were young about the choices we make and the consequences that come with them and I know for a fact that all my friends were warned. I was only one of many who warned them... These are very unhappy women now in their 30's and 40's. The fact is there are millions of women out there who are going through what they're going through and it is USUALLY for the same reasons. In fairness guys make awful choices too. If you really are a good guy, I would suggest going after the girl you like and try not to be resentful about what you don't have. There ARE "nice" girls and guys out there. Them finding each other is VERY DIFFICULT WORK for both!
They think it's temporary,.."I'm just slumming" but it becomes a habit.
What happened with these women was that it DID become habit and millions of women fall into this trap, They think they can shut it off whenever they want and it's a rude awakening when they can't
It's not just young teen girls like some people think. I've seen women of all ages fall for the creep. I guess it's got to do with being a good Bullshitter. These guys have big lines of BS and so many women/girls fall for it and end up miserable. I think it begins with them thinking it's all a temporary thing that they can shut off when they want and sometimes it IS, but in most cases it becomes habit, routine, familiar and expected. As evidence I would offer up the millions of unhappy women that all of us know.
Opinion
59Opinion
It's not that girls actively choose jerks. Let me quote Bruce Lee:
"A warrior may choose pacifism. Others are condemned to it."
I'm not here to advocate men being warriors. What I mean is this. Girls want to know that you are being a good guy because it is who you are and who you choose to be, not because you're afraid to be anything else. They want good guys with a backbone.
I used to think "nice guys finish last", until I started dating. And as long as it came from the heart, they generally appreciated my being supportive. And, maybe I got lucky on this, but they didn't expect chivalry. So when I DID do something chivalrous, it put a smile on their face.
OK, then there was my first girlfriend in college. She handed me the check saying "yeah, you're taking this." And if that wasn't enough of a red flag, any time I tried to be nice, she claimed I was just kissing ass to get into her pants. She claimed a guy assaulted her. He was starting to talk to my friends and it made them uncomfortable, so I reported him. She got mad and stopped talking to me for a week. CLEARLY lack of experience kept me in the relationship until she broke up with me when I told her the school might be changer her apartment. "Clearly you wanted me to panic. What kind of boyfriend are you?"
Needless to say, SHE is where I learned to show a little backbone, which is why she was followed by many nice, albeit short, relationships.
Look dude, only teenagers and idiots in their adulthood still think that there are either nice guys, or there are douchebags. Everyone else learns that if you're one extreme or the other, people will avoid you. When you put so much certainty into this polarization you believe in, you never stop to realize that you need to shake yourself out of it because it's not even realistic.
"Nice guys" are usually friendzoned, not because they're nice, but because they're timid and/or awkward. When they like a girl, they tend to either go about showing interest in all the wrong ways... or not at all. The first might show up in the form of professing their love for a girl they hardly know, being far too uptight and serious, or showing really forced "chivalric" behavior that they think will get them in with the girl. The second is simple enough: they're too timid, shy, anxious, or whatever else to show a girl romantic interest and make any moves on her. When she doesn't know you like her, let alone that you exist, what else can you expect to happen?
Douchebags aren't douchebags, they're just part of this same polarized view you have. Excluding romantic relationships, people like others who are fun, chill, natural, and interesting. Just because a guy teases a girl, puts up a play "fight" with her, makes advances on her (this one is the most misunderstood, I'll get to it in a minute), or things like... it doesn't make him a douche. It makes him normal, playful, etc... when you take yourself too seriously, what's the fun in that?
^"makes advances on her"... as I mentioned, this is wildly misunderstood. "Nice guys" see advances as violating a girl's dignity, respect, space, etc. They see it as such a violation... that they avoid it and don't even do it. Instead, they skirt around the topic and try expressing interest in very vague ways as a result (as well as to provide an easy escape in case things go bad).
So stop seeing things in black and white, it's only harming you.
I think you are leaving out somethng very basic. A lot of nice guys reach out to women and get rejected or they get the friend zone treatment! That's the actual problem! Somehow, when a man is very nice highly courteous, it seems to actually make a man unattractive! For being highly considerate and caring, the man becomes the equivalent of an undesireable very fat girl! Yet, a disrespectful douchebag person who really doesn't care about a girl is somehow seen as more attractive to many women!
No, I covered that very topic in my answer. You just chose not to acknowledge it because you want to whine about women paying you little attention.
There's nothing wrong with being nice. But it's also normal to look out for yourself too. What you see as "give you the shirt off my back" behavior, others see as you being a doormat.
And also just as I stated in my original post, you're seeing this topic in a very black and white nature, which is keeping you bitter and frustrated (and at 60 years old you're still like this?). A guy that is more confident and outgoing than you doesn't make him a douchebag, it just makes you the envious douchebag instead.
I think you may be a little bit confused in some of your assumptions. What''s a "douchbag"? I see that as a person who doesn't care about others. That's not a positive thing!
In a work place, one male coworker was always trying to take advantage of others! I considered him to be a "douchbag". He was an agressive loud-mouth. I had no use for him. One night, it's quitting time and he's still hanging around. He's usually out fast at quitting time. It turns out, there were 2 different women outside. Each was waiting to pick him up as a surprise and he didn't want them to know about each other! He's a 2 timing "douchebag"!
My own sister was attracted to a man who didn't strike me as a very nice person. But she liked him and I wished them the best. As it turned out, the man was physically abusive! Months later, my sister was beaten and ended up in a hospital. I only learned about this years later. That's a hell of a "douchebag" Sorry, but I see nothing positive in "douchebag" behavior.
And what YOU'RE confused about is 2 things:
1) Those women from your examples where they're waiting to confront the guy... does that not tell you something obvious? It SHOULD tell you that they aren't putting up with the douchebag. But once again what I'm telling you is that you're so dead-set on being consumed with frustration over this, that you can't see this. Nobody likes shitty people, so why do you think they do?
2) Because YOU say someone is a douchebag, doesn't mean the rest of the world just suddenly lacks your wisdom. These things are subjective (which is yet another thing I've previously mentioned to you), so knowing how frustrated and bitter you are... I'm very unlikely to actually believe you and your experiences with these so-called douchebags. As I mentioned above, nobody likes shitty people and I'm not condoning what happened to your sis. But you act like that is a common trait that ALL of your douchebag examples possess?
So do you not see how you're providing that extreme example of a shitty person (far beyond douchebag material)... and then assuming that I'm condoning that sort of stuff because of how polarized you view this topic?
You probably don't like being judged or lumped into a broad category before someone gets to know you. So the reasonable thing is to not pass that kind of behavior on to other people as well. I don't condone violent people, and you gave the example yourself where girls don't put up with people who are no good... so why are you still having trouble taking people as they come rather than associating anyone who isn't as "nice" as you to be a douchebag?
Here is the problem. We've been told that we can get good things if we are nice. You can wish for a gift and Santa will bring it to you, only if you are nice. But now, we are grown up and we are trying to get girls, by being nice. After all, that is how we are taught to solve our problems from an early age.
It's time to face the cold hard truth, why the fuck would a fat old man, get up from his ass, come down all the way from the north pole, and bring you gifts? Just for being nice? Whom does that benefit? I have been thinking about it and it's all a SCAM. The only person it benefits is your parents. They lied to us to keep us under control.
Do you know who else lies to us to keep us under control? The girls who voted for nice guys in your poll, and the feminists with megaphones who created phrases like "street harassment", "rape culture", "male entitlement", etc, to stop us from going for what we want, who also advocate the "nice guy" mentality.
You can be nice, just to be nice, but do not be nice, to make someone feel pleased with you. Sometimes you have to be a jerk. For example I hate feminists, and I explicitly say "fuck you" to them. They will hate me after reading this, but fuck them. I hold my ground, even if it means being a jerk to certain people.
Don't be nice, don't be submissive, don't be a sheep.
hereliesmydespair.files.wordpress.com/.../sheep.png
*LOL*
Do girls prefer douchebags over nice guys?
B. Nice guys... don't have in them
In my experience very few gals prefer douchebags over nice guys and those gals had issues.
I find most gals will choose a douchebag over a nice guy if the douchebag is more attractive, has more status/wealth, or is more self-confident/interesting/fun to be around. It's about preferring the looks/wealth/status/excitement and willing to put up with the douchebag behavior. It's not about preferring douchebags as the gals generally try to 'change' him.
So true
I agree with what you're saying. I think the pitfall is that some girls never break away from what they thought was "just an adventure" . One girls told me it was like being caught in a whirlpool.
This is true... but I'd rather believe a nice guy can have a good status, looks, be interesting, too.
No. We want genuine guys. Guys who are only friends or "nice" to get pussy or get a date, and then fuss and pout about it afterwards are not "nice guys". They're just a different form of assholes and I know I don't like those. Phonies basically.
I don't want the "in your face" jerk neither.
Basically, someone who's genuinely nice. If he's genuinely nice, he won't cry "friendzone".
I like people who are nice to be nice. Not nice for ulterior motives (like just to get a date). That's why I call the cliche "nice guys" phonies. Cuz when she doesn't go out with you, they begin calling women bitches, whores, etc. That shit doesn't sound like something a genuinely kind person would say.
Largely I agree with you. However, to clarify I'd like to know what level of expression of hurt over being rejected is acceptable to you before said individual is no longer considered nice.
I have had women express hurt to me who I have rejected. I have had women refuse to be my friend when I rejected them. I've had women not want to hang around me after I'd rejected them. I never once considered them phony.
@Bluemax it's phony to me if they pretended to be nice just to date me. It's phony to me if they call me a bitch or slut just cuz I refuse to date them.
I understand they're hurt, but we can't force people to want you.
Like I said, I prefer people to be nice just to be nice. Not being nice for ulterior motives like snagging a date. That's what I consider phony. That and claiming to be nice but then calling people bitches or jerks if they don't wanna date you.
I think most will agree that name calling someone simply because this person rejected you is bad behavior. I think most will agree we can't force people to date us (in fact, that is to me very obvious).
However, your response doesn't really answer my question, so I'll ask it again. What level of expression of hurt over being rejected is acceptable to you before said individual is no longer considered nice? I know you said you understand they're hurt, but is there any way they can EXPRESS this hurt and still be considered a nice person?
Respectfully, no you didn't. You have told me what he CANNOT do. I asked what level of expression of hurt is a person permitted and still be considered a nice person. That would mean what CAN he do, not what he CANNOT do. As of now, and perhaps I am mistaken, it seems as though you are saying no expression of sadness or hurt is permitted at all. He can only be all smiles and happy in your presence if you reject him to be considered a truly nice person.
" Since when is it a "bad" thing to be friends with someone?"
I wrote a question about this very topic. I'll answer you very directly. It is bad when that friendship is the source of pain for someone. This is why I council people to be very up front with their feelings from the start. It is also why I council people NOT to remain friends if they are hurting in the presence of this person due to unrequited love. I see nothing wrong with a person walking away from a friendship without name calling...
... without hatred, but simply walking away because continued friendship with a person who has rejected them is painful.
This brings to mind the idea that some people on GAG and other articles I've read seem to think that walking away from a painful friendship is somehow selfish and mean. Personally I find that rather odd, and would go so far as to suggest that expecting a person to remain in a friendship which is painful to the other person is in fact selfish and mean.
@Bluemax. I did say it in my opinion I said "if he's genuinely nice, he won't cry friendzone".
I said "if she doesn't go out with you, they begin calling women bitches, whores, etc. That shit doesn't sound like something a genuinely kind person would say."
Now, if the cry "friendzone", it just sounds like they were only friends for pussy/a date.
It's different than being friends with a girl and THEN falling for her later on, but if they guy KNEW he wanted to get with her, and tried being her friend and failed. Then said things like "I was nice for nothing", that shit sounds so douchebaggy. Like wow. You were nice to a girl for nothing huh? Cuz the "kindness" didn't lead to a date. That's why I mean I don't like "nice" guys with ulterior motives. I like genuinely kind guys who are nice just to be nice, not for a "reward" (like a date). To me, kindness is a reward in itself.
@Bluemax, I agree that people should be upfront. That way I'll know if the kindness is conditional or not (if he has a chance for a date) and to avoid him. Also women, or the "friendzoner", to not take advantage of the person's (conditional) "kindness".
But I wouldn't know how that would go about.
I also agree that they should just walk away. I know I distance the hell out of myself from guy friends that ask me out cuz I don't want them bitching later on that they're "nice for nothing". I tell them that too.
Now, of course they can say negative things about being rejected. But negative people aren't usually kind. So that's why I say the nice "status" gets taken away. They lose genuinely kind points in my opinion.
I hate the loud obnoxious guys who are so full of themselves, but I think I'm in the minority on this one. Most girls I know admit to liking douche guys. I think it's unfortunate for both really. The decent guys who tend to be quieter get nothing. The girls who date the douches are the one who end up in their 30's saying "Oh I hate men, they're all despicable" ... Umm HELLO you date em, you take the consequences! I know one girls who's date with a jerk ended at the police station, another who's ended at the ER. I guess there is no cure for this because it's been going on forever and is alive and well today. Have your douches ladies, cuz the fun will end sooner or later and the decent guys will be long gone. Then we can all sit together chanting together (in our 30's) "I hate men"
The key word is "HABIT". It becomes a lifestyle sooner than we think.
*L* I love it! Couldn't have said it better. I know so many girls who are absolutely miserable. I'm not even in my thirties yet and half the girls I know are like this. And What Do They Have In Common?
They all chose to date douche bags, Loud, aggressive, pseudocharming douche bags. They thought they were slumming or on a wild ride at 6 Flags until they figured out they were stuck, their reputation damaged and a long term state of unhappiness. So the girls who want a badass can have them. Just as long as it's not my life they're ruining.
@jennifer8 they don't seem to realize they are ruining their own reputation, Guys see them with these losers and want nothing to do with them. By the time they reach 30-35 they've already been damaged and most guys don't want to date a girl who likes or use to like "Badass Bobby"
luvpudding - My god! You are a woman in the 18 to 24 age group with good sense! What miracle wizardry is this? Are you a mutant perhaps? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? By the power of your unmistakable wisdom, YOU HAVE FORCED ME TO HAVE RESPECT AND ADMIRATION FOR YOU! Oh no! My heart! I can't resist! I THINK I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE!!!
*BLUSH* Thanks
So, a guy is either nice and in the "friend-zone", or a douche-bag and with a girl?
That's a very black and white, incorrect perception. There are plenty of good guys dating and in relationships. He's not a douche just because he has a girlfriend.
The thing to remember is, "nice" alone is not going to attract anyone, girl or guy. An obese girl can be the nicest person on earth, and that doesn't mean all the guys are after her. Same way, a guy can't just be nice, and being -too- nice, is not good either. He should have opinions of his own, and not let people walk all over him.
In fact, nice is such a basic quality every human should have some of, that you should gloss over it and focus on other parts of your personality. Are you fun, interesting, cool to be around, sexy, confident, have a sense of humor, etc? Those traits are way more compelling than "nice".
Nope girls prefer neither actually and guys don't seem to understand this. We don't want a guy we can walk all over, and we don't want a guy who treats us like shit either. The problem is that girls would prefer the douchebags over the nice guys because at least the douche bags have a voice of their own and are confident enough to tell it how it is.
What do girls really want? A confident, secure, stable guy who speaks his mind, is humble and nice at the same time, but doesn't put you on a pedestal and act clingy and like he will be there forever.
So my suggestion is to gain confidence if you want a girl.
Just like how guys want "a nice girl on the street and freak in the sheets" or whatever that saying is... we want a "protector" guy who is nice to us. i don't know if this all makes sense..
I never really got the protector part. So when I'm screening boyfriends should I ask if he'll be my bodyguard when we walk through the Five Points at 4am?
It's not douche bags they like it's guys with high self confidence and high amounts of self love. You can be both a good person and also have a high degree of self love. A guy without self love is not useful to anybody. A douche bag will lose his self love because he abuses it. You need both self esteem and compassion to be successful.
Right on.
"A guy without self love is not useful to anybody" That's a load of horseshit, but the rest is pretty much true. Also, a lot of shy nerdy people have self love, they just don't project it upon other people like douchebags do.
Some girls are only attracted to douche bags. Some prefer nice guys. Like, this one girl I'm friends with went on a date with a guy friend of hers, but found it wasn't working out because he was just too nice, and as she put it, she's "only attracted to assholes."
I, on the other hand, am the exact opposite. I don't mind guys that act like assholes as a joke or whatever, but I only find myself attracted to guys who are genuinely nice people. Guys that act like douche bags are a *major* turn-off for me.
I don't think this has to be an 'either/or' decision -- I've known and served numerous women who ultimately opted for the best of both types of guys. The way it works is, she uses wimps like me to pay her bills, clean her home and provide more personal attention. For example, when the woman I'm serving tells me that she has a date for the weekend and needs a good house cleaning and a couple of loads of laundry done, etc, after I've gotten all my chores done, I'll give her a top notch pedicure, with several coats of lacquer on her toenails and give her some spending money, because I want her evening with her boyfriend to be absolutely perfect.
If I have the temerity to even suggest that I'd like her to let me fuck her, she'll just giggle and tell me I'm lucky to even kiss her feet. A day or two later, not only will her boyfriend enjoy the privilege of fucking her, their romantic evening will be paid for in its entirety, by me.
Its neither nice of douche, sure a guy might be known as a douche to other people, but it all depends how the guy treats that girl, if he's the biggest douche to everyone it doesn't matter, he may treat that girl like a prized possession, and that's all that matters, If a guy treats that girl right that's all that should matter. And I hate all this douche vs nice guy shit, it's either we like the guy or not, it's not based on if ur nice or not, it's based on your personality, and how you treat us.
As a girl who's dated several douchebags, I can honestly say I NEVER went into the relationship thinking the guy was a douche. I was simply physically attracted to them, and they did a good job of putting on the "I'm just a sweet, honest, sensitive guy looking for a girl to spend the rest of my life with" front and I fell for it. Thankfully with experience I've kinda learned how to spot the douchey guys, but even still, they're good deceivers..
There are girls who would go for these kind of guys, but they're generally immature. They're either interested in status, money, or solely good looks. But those girls would be a good match with the douche bags because they're probably both equally as shallow.
That's not necessarily true. I've never went for the douche bags. I've always went for the nice guys because I get along better with them. I don't friend zone people and you shouldn't generalize girls like that. A lot of us like nice guys better.
Obviously no one is completely nice and no is is completely bad. Every person has a bit of both. So stop worrying and you'll eventually see that the girls who choose the douche bags are the ones with the better status/wealth/looks but in the long run, they'll the ones who wish they would of chosen differently.
I obviously want a guy who's going to treat me right and be nice, but "nice guy" just seems so.. dull. Like, I want someone who'll rase me and flirt and maybe be even a little mean, because I'm quite mean in a flirty way. And besides, this whole talk about "nice guys finish last" is probably because nice guys don't put themselves out there enough. Like, if you think you sitting there quiet and never flirting with her makes her like you more, that's wrong, because obviously she'll go to the guys that make her feel special or who flirt with her, even if you think you're just giving her the space she wants.
A "nice guy" is what boring guys call themselves. It's the word you resort to when you can't think of anything more interesting to say about yourself. Nice is milquetoast. Nice is bland. Nice lacks personality and conviction.
Who ever went to a fancy restaurant and called the best meal of their lives "nice"? Who describes their favorite movie that way? The sport they obsess over? Nice is a word you use for things that are neither offensive nor memorable. It's such a low bar to set for yourself.
Thanks for pointing out what an asshole looks like, it's you.
Nice guys do not finish last. Its about the way you present yourself. if you have the mentality that you are a loser and never gonna get a girl, you are never going to get a girl. Stop looking down yourself. When you approach a girl, do not act like a loser full of insecurities, approach with confidence. Yes, I'm not the hottest, I'm not the richest, but I'm a good enough guy to date you. Don't be cocky either. I'm your exhibit A
Cool, couldn't have said it better.
Speaking for myself I have never carried around a bag of shit, and I don't think I will do that anytime soon so ill go with B because seems like he would smell good.
Ew why carry around a douche bag stud you could prick yourself and get some weird disease.
(Sarcasm is being used.)
usually mostly all the time, the douche bag guy is more out there and talks more to you then the nice guy. Also he knows how to flirt so we go a crawling to him (joking)
what my teacher told me today is:
girls want a guy that has the traits of cavemen as it is saved deep down in their brains (same for guys, the reason guys like girls with curves is natural).
-some might not agree but I don't talk about exceptions.
so these are simple reasons so most could be understood. cavemen traits;
-strong muscular (the girl feels protected)
-the guy is arrogant (he has no problem to hit some bimbo who might be dangerous and again: protection)
I forgot the rest, another fact.. you learn 100% but your brain only keeps 20% of it
Women talk shit about the guys they date, and make them sound far worse than they actually are. Some girls do like the bad boy type, and some don't. Most women like strong men, over "nice guys" that let others push them around. No matter how good of a guy she is dating, she is still going to talk shit about him behind his back, making it seem like she only dates douches.
I don't see how you would say that James Bond's a douche. He is educated, drives nice cars, a great fighter, very brave, confident, dresses well, physically fit, and has a British accent. He has a lot of traits women are going to love. You find any guy that is not a secret agent, and has those same traits and he will do very well with women as well.
Everyone here is saying nice guys can't be confident. This is wrong. Just because introverts like myself don't talk, doesn't mean we are aren't confident. We just enjoy sitting back and relaxing. We don't need to be clinging to people like extroverts do. We are independent, confident people.
Girls today just don't seem to realize that... I do... but I think I'm in the minority. Quiet guys rock. If more women would get the pussy juice to approach these guys there would not be so many miserable girls out there telling us there sob stories when they knew the risks all along.
Being a nice guy is bad ass! But dot confuse being nice with being spineless and never really speaking your mind because of fear of losing the girl. Gentlemen are the way to go (decisive, sure of themselves and of what they want in life and in a partner, compassionate, understanding, fair, respectful, with a bit of a weird quirky sense of humour and not eing afraid of being themselves, honest). I love my gentleman of a bf :D
And u really shouldn't ;)
not this girl. If you're rude or overly cocky in the least I will immediately dislike you.
Sweet, genuine guys? The ones that hold doors open for old ladies, have enough decency to NOT wolf whistle or catcall, are nice to kids, and stick up for strangers? I like that shit.
The worst part about douche bags is that they act nice at first. I had a boyfriend once that was amazing, even with my daughter. Was a great guy. As soon as we moved in together he turned in to a total jerk. I tried making it work but left.
I wish I could find a nice guy. All the nice guys I know are taken or hidden somewhere never to be found.
As I get older I seem to meet more of them who HAVE given up. As far as the dating scene goes, they just seem to fade away.
I dated a girl and was an asshole to her. I dumped her and recently started seeing her again after five years. Now I've matured and treat women better. She dumped me after a few weeks. Girls do prefer assholes. So now that im a nice guy and humble.. She's not interested.
The only attractive thing that a douche has is that he is confident. what I mean with confident I mean that he just thinks that he is better than the girls he is talking to
. Now girls in the other can understand what's going on and as all the other humans in earth wants something that can't have. So it is all a belief system if you start thinking that you are above the girls you will start be more confident around girls. So fake it till you make it 😉. hope you find my advise useful 😆
I think that women go for men who are attractive to them, either physically attractive or the guy has wealth or charisma. Other considerations, such as being nice, take a back seat to attraction. Furthermore, people in general make special allowances for the physically attractive, and the physically attractive often take advantage of those special allowances and become less than kind people.
Do women prefer douches over nice guys? No, women prefer attractive men over unattractive men.
And if girls give in easily because the guy is attractive, it's a great temptation for the guy to be a D-bag.
It really depends on the girl, and their situation, age , personal goals etc I think. Girls who constantly choose to be with assholes have low self esteem issues which the a-holes have got a sixth sense for. These relationships always stand out because they are most talked about
I don't know if this is how things have worked lately.. But girls would date the bad ass guys during their early stages of their life and end up marrying someone who is completely different.. Nice guys are marriage material.. Douchebags are there for fun and games.. Besides they are douche bags for a reason.. Get my drift?
The typical douche bag is often more outgoing and confident. ( I don't know why because they shouldn't be) but it is that attitude that makes girls fall for them, then they discover the real personality of the guy is horrible and leave, just to go after another asshole just like the last. It isn't until they have been burned by assholes over and over and have decided to settle that the quiet nice guy becomes more of a prize.
The "quiet nice guy" may not want to be settled for as a last choice after a woman has screwed a long line of bad boy douche bag sex partners!
I totally agree. I think that girls who skip nice guys and go for bad guys, get what's coming to them and when they finally realize that good guys make sense... Those guys should disregard these girls and leave them to the shit they created with their stupid decisions.
The key things are to be yourself, be fun, ASK GIRLS OUT EARLY (women are forgiving for a guy moving too fast more than u will believe), and make sure she doesn't push you around.
Also make sure u make yourself look as attractive as possible (diet, physical activity, clothing, hygiene, etc)... but that goes without saying. :-P
Lmao no, that's some movie BS. In real life, arrogant pieholes aren't given a second glance. Girls typically want nice guys. But the problem is that there are TOO many nice guys out there. Which is why self-proclaimed nice dudes such as yourself complain about singledom.
I've noticed that though in no way do I consider myself a douchebag and neither does anyone I know, i think of myself as one of the nice guys. When you act confident in yourself in the way that a douche bag type guy does, girls are really drawn to it.
Look girls don't want to be treated like shit. They hate that! The only reason a girl ever goes for the asshole guy is because the nice guy doesn't have balls. If the nice guy can be a sweet compassionate partner but still maintain a dominate control in situations, then he's perfect. But most girls crave being dominated sexually and most good guys don't seem like they have it in them.
Haha awwwe <3 But that is not a bad thing! This ^ is a stereotype, not all girls want to be dominated, there is plenty of girls who want to dominate and who love the nice guys because they happily submit! Don't worry about it! Everyone is unique and everyone has a partner in this world! :)
Well personally I love good guys never been interested in bad guys. Im a good girl myself :) Bt I do think that some good guys could benefit from being more assertive example if u like girl tell her. I also think its a stereotype like good guys are scary which im sure not true bt some guys I think could benefit from defending his woman if any situation arises no woman wants a guy who won't protect her physically. Hope this helps :)
That's a huge myth. Girls prefer guys that have something to offer and they will put up with some shit if they guy is worth it. What they really hare are the fake nice guys, who hang around and do things for girls hoping that it will get them laid. Is that you? If it is, sorry, it doesn't work that way. Be the guy with something to offer.
gals like to be subduled, like guys with gats, balls, fearless. they feel protected and safe n douchebags shows off hence most of the times fall for them but dont feel complete because douchebags are unreliable. they dont know that all guys have balls so it pays to be neat geantleman with balls reliable n unresistable that I know for a fact!
simply put douchebags mess gals when young and settle for a nice gal when older. messed gals realizes they have lost value and try to settle for a nice guy when wanting marriage. Nice guys realize that messed gals want to settle with them hence turn them down and go for the " preacher's daughter - wu tang clan".
I don't know WTF you just said but I read it twice and now I have a headache! Can I have one of your oxycodones?
douches both guys and girls usually are the ones who cheat in future relationships because both were caught up in their douchey character hence avoided when choosing a life partner. Caution seive out douches when choosing a life partner but if u're a douche too most of the time u'll b seived too.
I don't want a douchebag and I don't want some guy who whines a lot and calls himself nice believing he should be rewarded with sex and love. So neither.
A genuinely kind guy... yes.
Girls don't even like guys. Girls like sex and babies.
someone's listening to good charlotte
Most people have serious douchebag moments - even the nice guys and girls. Humans make a lot of mistakes. So every time you hear a girl bitching about her bf, there's a chance he's a decent guy who screwed up or it could even be her fault & she doesn't notice. Most "nice guys" are simply arm chair quarterbacking when they think they'd be perfect partners. Humans, we all suck at relationships and make mistakes while learning.
Girls go for guys who they find attractive. Because these attractive guys can get any girl that they want, they often think of themselves being better than others, which leads to them becoming considerably arrogant. Girls generally don't realise this until they are in the relationship, at which point they break up, promising to never date a guy like that ever again. Rinse and repeat.
But a lot of guys do a similar thing.
It's a great point. Some guys/girls are attracted to people who are socially toxic.
You can take the same guy. If he is very nice and highly respectful to women, many women will see him as unattractive! Yet, if he acts in a more arrogant, disrespectful manner to women, then many women with think he is hot! HOW A MAN ACTS has a lot to do with how attractive women find him to be. In general, many women find bad-boy/douchebage behavior attractive! Thatt's why many men persist in their douchbag behavior! WOMEN KEEP REWARDING IT!!!
It's same like you will respond to see a p*rnstar and if you respond to a girl next door.
1) stud is what thy want, like we will like to have p*rnstar on bed.
2) good guys are what they need on whom they can relay.
For example - p*rnstar can be only whore in bedroom, but complete women is 'cook in kitchen, maid In living room, whore in bedroom'.
Good guys finish last but they finished satisfied. While studs often end with sluts and unsatisfied.
Few girls really prefer D-bags over nice guys but the D-bags have some charm (more than nice guys: good looks, good at 'selling themselves') or they'd never even get a girl to begin with.
And many (admired ) dads are D-bags at home. Many girls automatically are more interested in boys who are a bit or a lot like their dads. (mainly the girls who didn't revolt against their parents)
Not every girl is the same but I HATE douchebags. I would never even consider dating one. I like nice guys all the way and don't understand girls who like douches tbh...
I agree (:
it seems like that sometimes.
too much confidence in my opinion is a sign of stupidity. Because overly confident people don't really seem to see what wrong they are doing -_- their "confidence" blocks the logic
Its because most of the douche guys know the right things to say to a girls. Even though I don't like stereotypes, its true, nice guys finish last. But also keep in mind nice guys are more friendly then romantic, so girls just think of them as a good friend. I don't know if that's true for all girls but for me that happens.
Here's the thing, girls like guys who are nice BUT if you identify yourself as a nice guy you're probably a pretty unattractive guy. Girls like guys with something to offer good looking athletes because they've got some substance they're not just fat losers who all the have going for them is they're nice...
B. I had my fair share of douchey guys and honestly, I want nothing to do with them. Even if they're good looking, if he has a douchey personality, it's an instant turn off. I prefer nice guys because I find them to be more desirable. If they have a good heart and soul then that's a win. I don't know if I explained that well.. Because some girls like the douchey attitude. I guess they find the attitude to be bad ass?
No girl wants to be with a douche bag, you've been misinformed
What most want forsure.
You might be a good girl but in my experience he Is absolutely correct. This is coming from an attractive guy whos had experience.
This is a trick question because I want a nice guy, but it seems to me that the nice guys I meet are sort of boring. I do seem to attract a lot of nerds, and they just aren't exciting to me, so I have to go look for something a little more exciting.
Based on what you said, you don't really place much value on a guy being nice! If excitement is really top your priority, there is no point in trying to pretend that you really want a nice guy. You seem to want an exciting guy!
Think of it this way. If you had a choice between a really exciting guy who wasn't very nice and a really nice guy who wasn't very exciting, which would you choose? EXCITING or NICE?
I hate when I guy is a douchebag. I can be emotional so I need someone nice to me not someone blowing me off. Nice guys also sometimes understand a girls problems compared to a douchebag so that's nice.
Most girls don't like quiet/shy guys so they never really find out. The douche gets the attention, girls on this site openly admit they are attracted to the loud guy who's full of himself. That's who gets the attention. Self confidence can reside in any host, outwardly or quietly. But this is why so many guys deliberately behave like idiots because girls are TELLING them that's what they want, I believe the evidence is right below.
And above^
The evidence is all over this site. It's disheartening. Why does anyone want to make problems for themselves. There are an abundance of good guys in the quiet/shy category but women/girls don't seem to get that. Any guy who makes them laugh seems to get the attention.
You can't be nice all the time. You have to find a balance between being nice and having backbone.
I think some do. Due to low standards or low self esteem. Scrap the unconditional love contract because it's not worth it. "i love him but bladadasa ".
Oh no, I think you've got it all wrong o: It is not douche bags girls find attractive, it is confidence in men :) Umm, the type I always fall for is the sweet and cute type (#^.^#)
Don't confuse a good guy (confident, respectful, fun) with a nice guy (needy, sycophantic, doormat).
Most stupid opinion I've read today.
Three needy, sycophantic doormats don't like being told.
lmao leave your fuckin fedora at the door.
The friendzone literally doesn't exist. stop blaming other people for the fact women don't wanna screw you. if she doesn't want to date you, then oh well. maybe SHE JUST DOESN'T LIKE YOU AND IT LITERALLY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR PERSONALITY OR ANY OTHER GUYS
Take a moment, I know that's a lot to take in.
they prefer the definition right in between those 2 terms you just listed.
nice guys who are confident more like, douchebags, jerks and players are a false representation of this but often the easiest and most common comparison, the best combination for a guy is a nice gentleman like, confident and ambitious guy :P
Girls like the strongest man they can control. They try and control the strongest first then lower their competition till they find a league they can play in.
You can also add your opinion below!
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Most Helpful Opinions