Girls only like me when I'm an asshole... why?

Question

I truly do not understand this at all. My freshman and sophomore year of highschool I acted as my genuine self and no girl ever liked me. I always talked to the girls I thought were beautiful and they just didn't like me. Now my junior year I treat girls with little respect, ignore them, and act like a complete ass. I do this all and they love me now and want to talk to me every second of the day. From the new year to the beginning of February I acted nicer to these girls, cared more for them, offered to do stuff and they didn't like it at all. They would no longer invite me over, didn't want any help with their homework, and didn't even want to hang out. I acted my genuine self for a month and lost 4 female friends... that's ridiculous. 

They don't even talk to me and I don't know why. My brain just can't understand why girls don't like it when I'm nice to them. Why do they like it so much when I'm mean? All I did when I was acting like an asshole is have sex with all the girls I was talking to, I can't complain about that but I couldn't have a real relationship with these girls. I thought these girls were beautiful and nice, and I treated them like shit so they would like me back. But after doing this I didn't like them anymore, I knew they didn't like my genuine self and I couldn't have a relationship with a girl who likes me when I'm being fake. 

So my final two questions. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? Should I just act as my genuine self and hope I find the right girl?

ScorpioMoonChick · Accepted Answer

Well, I'm a girl, but I was the female who liked a guy more cause he was an asshole. For some messed up reason, I'm attracted to assholes. I used to not know why until I broke up with my ex, and now I can say why. 1. I wanted to help them. 2. I saw him as a quest, or a mystery to solve. 3. I didn't think I deserved any better.

Now, let's take a look at those reasons. Reason #1 sounds genuine, and so does Reason #2, but you don't have a lasting relationship unless if you're going to love them without wanting to change them. Reason #3 is straight up sad, and desparate sounding.

With that said, you should act your genuine self. I know the right girl is going to come along, you just have to find a down to earth girl who is confident in herself and is as nice as you are.
Good luck.

Afro-dite9 · Accepted Answer

Because they've been taught guy's who are mean to them like them which is a horrible lie. This will f*** them up when they get older they'll accept a shitty relationshipand and treatment. Another reason is because other than guy's not being push over's, theu are charismatic and confident... mostly because not all girl's but a good majority are masochist lbs!

BuchitaBuchys · Accepted Answer

When I'm a huge bitch, I find that guys are like puppies desperately trying to get my "approval". I don't mean to be a bitch, but sometimes it just comes out. I can't imagine why people like it when you treat them badly. They must have low self-esteem.

PizzaGuy22 · Accepted Answer

I can relate to this, when I was 15 I was a huge dick.

I had a bad attitude, a stupid mohawk, C minus student and constantly made jokes of others and for some reason two girls asked me out and I don't know why because I was a moron... I HATED both relationships and I ended up ignoring them to further add to my douchebaggery

I don't understand why they liked that 15 year old dick...

Now at 18 I'm more mature, and just in general way better... I don't know of any girls interested in me haha

So that's my output man

Levin · Accepted Answer

Had you ever considered your truth self as being the arsehole? :D No one is truly good or bad, but a mixture of both. You expressed your deeper desires and stood up for yourself when you stopped being 'good' (which was probably socially constructed and aesthetic ie sexless). You are genuinely nice, but you still have desires, you still find people unbearable at times and want to take the piss out of them. Be both. Either extreme is usually problematic for entirely opposite reasons.

FalloutVaultB0y · Answer

I can alternate from 'asshole' to 'nice dude' when I know someone enough, which is most girls in my former class. They seem to give me more attention whenever I act like a dick. It isn't typically in my nature, but sometimes it's fun to do. I agree that it gets pretty annoying when girls get attracted to that.

Anonymous · Answer

I guess I'm in a similar-ish position.

I'm more or less submissive but if I want to get girls and I act just a little dominate they crowd around me. Otherwise they're rarely anywhere to be seen.

I guess in my case girls just prefer dominant men.

In your case? Who knew, girls like assholes. Whoopidoo, big surprise XD

1GuyOpinion · Answer

Maybe when you was an asshole, you projected more confident. Girl your ages are probably thrill with having a bad-ass who live above the rules. It wild and fun.

Fyi, treating girl like shit will backfire on you, asshole or not.

Tarvold · Answer

Simple. Girls like assholes. Your mistake is that you believe what women tell you about what they want. Stop listening to dating/relationship advice from women. It never works.

Bandit74 · Answer

Girls like attractive, fun, confident guys who give off the vibe they aren't desperate and have other options. If you have those traits it doesn't matter if you are nice or not.

damnwinter · Answer

It's because they're the wrong girls. The right one will appreciate your best behaviour and likely fall in love with you just because of it :)

Jager66 · Answer

It's just how things are. Once I pretended that I just got out of jail for stealing cars and got offered a 3 way with a couple hot girls.

KawaiiPie67 · Answer

being mean can = being hot. It means ur hard to catch.

Whizzy83 · Answer

I like girls who like assholes, it just makes it that much easy on me on who to use and who to keep in a long term relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Girls just love assholes for some reason. I tried it out and it works. This girl started flirting with me at the bar. She walked up and said "hey." So I was like "shut the fuck up you bitch" and slapped her in the face. Then she was like "omg let's fuck." BEING AN ASSHOLE = GETTING PUSSY

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah. Pls do. Just be urself. And u will find d girl for u. Nobody wants an asshole in the long run anyway.

Kylesar · Answer

Women aren't turned on by nice guys, which explains why they date assholes most the time In serious relationships, they get the nice ones, but in non-serious dating, it's always the assholes

Anonymous · Answer

Women are hypocrites always have been always will be.  I never believed the be yourself crap. No girl/women wants a guy to be themselves is bull crap and they know it.

truthhammer · Answer

girls like jerks why do you think you read bunch of stories of girls staying with guys that are giving them bad experiences?

Anonymous · Answer

don't do that. guys like that piss me off. be yourself, tell girls they are beautiful, be a good, nice person. you'll find the right girl. i would want a guy like that

TheOldMan59 · Answer

Girls see nice guys as safe. Safe is boring, also most guys are nice and suck up to girls. They want the guy who does something different.

BoysRuinMyLife · Answer

Because girls want what is harder to get

Girls only like me when I'm an asshole... why?

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