Why is my girlfriend SO unbearable when she's on her period?

[Anonymous]

We've been together for 8 years now and lately she her periods have been hitting her harder than ever. Along with the abdominal pain she now has a fuse 1 centimeter long. I swear every conversation she starts is her assuming the worst thing about me.

One example: I carry a work shirt and a gym shirt (right after work i head on to the gym and change). As i was collecting both shirts in the morning she ask me "what are you doing with two shirts? thats your small shirt isn't it? (both were medium) your just going to the gym to show off your muscles girls huh?" so i spend a good 30 minutes arguing with her on crazy nonsense like this until the next conversation comes up.

so far its been a week of nothing but this. I seriously feel like moving out when these periods come. How do i calm her down before things get worse? she's really staring to become a bully when its that time of the month and its getting worse.

[lyannamormont]

I have really painful cramps and tender breasts every period since 15. Never had a comfortable one. Being sensitive, or short-tempered, upset/depressed for no real reason is normal as long as you know the reason is your period and hormones. Then you can train yourself about it. At least that's what I have done in my life. And if I do something ridiculous, which breaks my significant other's heart, I do not hide behind the hormones, I simply say I am sorry my bad, I got short tempered. Generally my exes and current one they have said that it is okay you're in your period and hugged me.

I think from the shirt example: I thought it was a joke when I first read the first sentence. Then since you argued (since she felt she needs to argue about it and then hid behind her period) I think she was just being bitchy. She needs to learn the difference between being bitchy and having a sensitive time period. And it is not your responsibility to calm her down or try to make her less of a bully. I am sorry to say that but it is her business to educate and train herself, and so far she is being immature.

If she is in pain so much, she cannot find energy to be a bully or bitch she simply lies down and cries, and gets medication to ease her pain. so in her case, she finds energy to be a bitch, it means she is not really in pain. I think you should talk with her in all honesty and tell her that you understand it is a sensitive period but you think there is no point in behaving in some certain way, and she needs medication. If she still tries to be a bitch and continues to have quarrels, then simply dont engage and say okay you're right, whatever.

[Asker]

She says she's in pain and complains about her breast often. But i often forget she's on her period and think she really sees somethings wrong. Normally she's just a little paranoid about things because she's insecure. On top of that she's a really nosy person.

i think trying to talk to her about her behavior will just give her more fuel.

[lyannamormont]

Then dump her. Relationships are made to be happy, not made to be unhappy. You go in a relationship to become yourself and to be crazy as usual because that person bears and loves you, and you love that person's craziness. But yours is just too much. Dump her simply if she is giving you hard time and if she is not willing to talk through problems to solve them.

[Anonymous]

Periods are fucked up. I feel so bad for my boyfriend because I'm just like your girl, if not worse. I try to curb it now. She should too. At this age, she's had her period long enough to know what's coming each month. She can try to curb it, and you can help. She should take some alone time to relax, a nice long bath with her favourite bubble bath, a home pedicure, a night just being lazy and fat watching TV and eating chocolate, things like that. Just anything to de stress.
If her cramps make her moods worse because of the constant pain making her grouchy, she can try herbal things like evening primrose oil tablets which help cramps but take a while to work, like she'll need to take for a week or so before her period is due and it might not work as well on the first month.
Also, one thing my boyfriend does is just kiss me in the middle of my rants or hug me and tell me I've gotta smile before he let's me go... yea I'm even more pissed off for a second or two, but I walk away from it much happier and then we're both happier.
Have a serious talk with her too. Let her know you're not blaming her because you know it's her hormones, and you know she's feeling like shit but that it's also starting to affect you a lot.

[Asker]

oh god, i can't see myself hugging someone that im arguing with. thats like treating someone nicely for being an ass.

[Opinion Owner]

Haha I know, but because you know when some women are on their periods the arguments are so ridiculous like "ahh I hate you, why do your eyes close while you blink, you're so frustrating" haha... just see it as something silly instead because usually it really is.
Of course, there's a difference between arguing and disrespecting, so as long as she's not disrespecting you at the time just hug her and tell her to be quiet lol. It's like that one Simpsons episode where Nelson and Lisa are on a date, she's talking too much so he kisses her... to him he's just shutting her up but to her she's like aww so sweet.
At the time, she probably genuinely thinks her arguments are valid, but later on if she looks back she feels so stupid.
Every woman has different hormone levels, and some just have it worse than others. Some have it really bad, some are barely affected.

[Katerina_Belle]

Ok, I have pretty bad periods myself and I do get reallllyyy annoyed, pissed off, and argumentative over small things.

However, I wouldn't say the above is entirely just her being on her period. Your girlfriend is insecure, and I think if you try to understand why she's feeling that way - it won't be so much hell when she's on her period lol

When I'm on a period I am veryyyy emotional and unstable lol so one minute I could be like leave me alone I don't want to see anyone rn and the next I'll be like "it hurts, please cuddle me"

But my arguments and foul behaviour is over insignificant small things, that most guys would laugh off - which is why I suggest that your girlfriend has a lot more going on her mind than she's letting on and unfortunately it comes out in the worst way possible for your relationship.

Just talk to her I suggest :)

[Artist20]

Thats normal, sometimes women get like this during their periods, specially becoming highly emotional. Calm her doubts, fears in insecurities. Baby her, giver her massages, spend quality time when she gets her period, thats all. Well at least try.
You know, she could also be sexually frustrated. You know her better than us tho.

[SomeoneImportant]

I say disregard her tone completely and just talk to her like nothing is wrong. Don't even entertain those dumb arguments

Like the shirt one, could've just passively said "Yeah, I guess"

[Asker]

she will then respond with some comment on how i see her opinion as not important because how short of a response that was. A bring a WHOLE new argument to the table.

I say that because its happened.

[SomeoneImportant]

Ok, then don't even feed into it and get into the argument.


Just keep passively agreeing

[Smmyskittles]

Sweet talk the f**k out of her.

If she starts shit like " your just going to the gym to show off your muscles girls huh" respond with
"The only woman I want to admire my muscles is the one I'm looking at right now." Stare into her eyes when you say it.

Not going to lie, even I have my moments during the time of the month where I get angry.

HONESTLY, I know I shouldn't be and WHY I am. However, to control that is near impossible. Difference is, that I apologize for my behavior ASAP.

[Asker]

Its hard to reply to her like that knowing that she's going to keep at it until she finds a fight on her hands.

[Smmyskittles]

Going to ask personal questions and feel free to tell me if any make you uncomfortable.

Does it start out with a joke?
Is she into rough sex?
Is it ONLY during her periods? Or does she push your buttons other times as well?

[Smmyskittles]

& Does she workout?

[Asker]

since im anonymous here ill answer you.

It starts off with a regular conversation. She says something and grabs on to my reaction to it. For example: Hey babe, my knee hurts when i jump. her: you land wrong. your stomping hard when you land. Me: but i feel the pain in mid air before my feet even touch the floor. Her: God! You see! you never take my opinion into account! etc..

She actually is into rough sex. but i can't get myself to go into the roughness that she fantasizes about.

Its only on her period. she's really great and understanding when she's not in it. Her periods are very crazy. Sometimes she misses a whole month and the next one hits her like a slap to the face.

She works out on occasion.

[Smmyskittles]

Personally, mine AND my sister's is worse when we don't workout *minimum* of 45 min every day leading up to it (just have her do it 3 days before it arrives). I workout way more than that, so mine aren't too bad.
Take her for a walk, or a bike ride, etc.

It's possible because she's more angry/aggressive during this time, that she's taking it out on you.
Next time she tries to start with you, ignore her. She's looking for a response from you, don't give it to her.

[ak666]

For me I'm not such a smooth talker, especially in such awkward moments, but I've found it helpful to cuddle with women when they're prone to get a bit belligerent and just really try with all your might to be the bigger man and keep a gentle and loving stance. You can combine that kind of loving tone with a bit of playfulness and even some teasing at times (be careful with this) to diffuse the situation.

That might be another way to approach it if sweet talking her isn't your style and you prefer a more upfront kind of approach. Take the kind of tone of a therapist or counselor, and mix it with a dash of humor.

[CODgirl]

Lol sorry, well sometimes there are those months where (I must admit) we are out of control and our emotions are everywhere. Usually it is something we already normally feel but just blown out of proportion... So the gym shirt thing, I may be wrong but maybe she doesn't like it when you go to the gym because she doesn't want people staring at you and your muscles Haha. But yeah maybe she wants you to spend more time with you, some girls (not all) cover their jealousy and blame their significant other instead of the one who's lookin at you 😋 But because of the period it is made like a huge deal it will happen sometimes is all I'm sayin..

[Asker]

she worries about other girls looking at me while i workout.
I tell her
1: i dont care about that
2: Its a gym. A lot of fit guys go there to work out. A few even better looking than me.
3: After 6 years of going to the gym i have yet to get hit on by a woman. i get looks , but never anything more.

[Mayamoon02]

She literally CAN'T control what clothes you wear.
Yes her periods might shorten her fuse but it isn't an excuse to be aggressive.
Does she realize how bad she's behaving?

She needs to be responsible over herself. I've learnt to spend some alone time and just chill when on my period. Not do anything over stimulating.
Too many women took medication too early and now later in life they can't handle it.
I used to pass out and get so much blood loss but thanks to patience/meditation.. I actually enjoy my periods.
I no longer faint but feel energized. Pain is almost non existent.
Its time for her to have some responsibility over her own body and not use it as an excuse.

Periods are supposed to make women stronger. Not abusive.

[Sara413]

I agreed with you up until the point where it sounded like you're actually blaming women for the severity of their own periods... wtf?

I agree we need to be responsible for our behaviours and that we have a responsibility to be aware of how our hormones are affecting us so we don't project it onto other people... but physical period pain is not a mind over matter issue. It's rather cruel to suggest it is.

[Mayamoon02]

@Sara413 I had really severe issues to the point my high school called an ambulance an had to stay supervised. It was then I realized the drugs weren't working and had to fix it it like i said.

I am not blaming women for something we naturally have - but pain is HUGELY manipulated by stress and the mind. Hormones are there to benefit us not to control our moods also.

[MrAssHat]

first thing is stop even trying to argue your point when in a situation like that.. Just simply state baby im going to the gym so i can have these muscle you love.. Simple answers like that will keep her from boiling over

[Bonnie12I27I12]

i know some women have terrible periods that are painful af but being a bitch is no excuse especially if it's as extreme as you say it is. she should take meds for the pain and talk to her doctor about her mood swings. slight mood swings are normal but extreme ones aren't.

[Sara413]

It's only been recently? And only ever when she is on her period? If she was never like that before that tells me something has changed that's causing these issues. Has she changed her birth control method? That could be wreaking havoc on her hormones. If not, perhaps she has developed ovarian cysts, PCOS or another menstrual condition that causes greater pain and has a harder impact on hormones.

[somebodysaycheese]

A girls period changes several times during her life. All you can do is is get her some midol or herbs that help with menstrual cramps and emotions. Ask her to go to the gym with you and do you guys have period sex? When i went through that phase that everything bothered me during my period either midol, something sweet or sex helped release some tension.

[MeghanL]

For some women Mother Nature's monthly gifts are not much fun. Mine aren't unbearable but I know women who are almost completely incapacitated by PMS.

Aside from the cramps hormone levels shift, & that can cause the mood swings. If it gets really bad a discussion with the gynecologist would be in order. First to make sure there isn't something really wrong, & she might be able to prescribe something to relieve the symptoms.

[99percentangel]

Because periods are the effing worst man, you´ll never understand. Just be there for her and buy her lots of chocolate and aspirin.

[KittieCat]

Hormones can change over time so understand that while she's on her period her hormones are going bat shit crazy which makes her most likely easier to piss off and more emotional. Talk to her about birth control to help ease her symptoms or take them away completely

[Toad-1]

reallly doesn't give her an excuse to act like that towards him though

[KittieCat]

@Toad-1 Not saying it's acceptable at all. Quite frankly I hate when women use their period as an excuse for behavior. Just trying to explain the madness

[JohnDoe3000]

It's normal for her to be a bit cranky but honestly I think a lot of girls are too immature to train their self-control, same with being "hangry".

[MargaritaPeach]

This is SO true. Yes... it is horrible. But guess what? It's also predictable. You can track it, and you can plan for it. There are a ton of things you can do to make it more bearable. Managing your emotions is an essential part of life, and it's one lesson that far too many people opt out of. No excuses.

[Mayamoon02]

Agreed - people don't like to practice self control and heal themselves because it takes so much time and effort. So much easier to blame everyone and pop an aspirin.

[Anonymous]

Hi maybe you could look into some natural health remedies, evening primrose oil tablets, Angus cactus, also there are specific blends that you take throughout the month. They really can help and ultimately help you. In her defence I've personally suffered from this hence the knowledge and it's like Im acting like a crazy evil person and I know it's happening but you're not in control, it's horrible and I do feel for the people around me...

[Anonymous]

She's just cranky. Its probably because her periods are painful. If I feel like I'm gonna throw up and my stomach is cramping and my pussy aches then I might get a little cranky but I'm not that bad. Mostly I just cry very very easily. My periods tend to be bad like what I described.

[zombiebabe]

she needs some medications to help with that... and also... avoid pissing her off during her time of the month

[Asker]

She used to be on birth control but stopped like 4 years ago. Its virtually impossible to avoid it now.

[zombiebabe]

see if she can get back to bc with her doctor

[LaVilaine]

You might convince her to go on some form of birth control. That would have to dual benefit of reducing the amount of pain she's in (which sounds considerable) and stabilize her hormones and moods.

[April10]

Don't calm her down, it might make the situation worse. Sounds like her period makes her want to pick fights. I guess the best you can do is not engage

[Cmasterson]

You tell her and sit her down, even if she may not listen, you can't stick around for someone who is bullying you.

[Katy16]

Just don't argue with her about the stuff and compliment her a d do nice things. Also maybe she should consider birth control to help control it (mention this when it's over)

[Daynada]

Don't take your 2 shirts when she's on her period haha

[Anonymous]

I think she just use her period to bully you. Maybe she try to make you dump her cause she has a lover, she cheat on you? It happened to some of my friends so

[samhradh_leannan]

This is technically not impossible, but it's not the likely explanation. Don't freak him out over nothing. This is no reason to assume that she's cheating.

[Opinion Owner]

@samhradh_leannan He said she never acted like that before. So it's better to think of all the things who can happen

[samhradh_leannan]

Hormones and PMS can change a lot throughout your life and can be affected by many things.

[Opinion Owner]

@samhradh_leannan It's bullshit.

[samhradh_leannan]

I guess you've been lucky then.

[Opinion Owner]

@samhradh_leannan yea, my period is really tiny and not really painful

[samhradh_leannan]

Then I'd suggest you stay out of this debate.

[Asker]

Alright guys. Let me clear things up a bit. Normally when she's not on her period she's a great person. Understanding and generous. Throughout our time together she has been a bit affected by her periods. Normally would fight rarely when she would be on it. But her last 2 periods have gotten worse. its like she's a different person.

[samhradh_leannan]

I think it's unlikely that there is anything going on other than her difficulty with her periods. If it's affecting her this badly, she should see a doctor.

[Asker]

@samhradh_leannan Yeah i think she should. Question is how?

[samhradh_leannan]

Let her know that you can tell she's having a rough time, and encourage her to go see a doctor.

[Opinion Owner]

@samhradh_leannan i suggest you to not say anything and let me give my opinion now get out of my opinion.