How can you tell if a shy girl is just being nice/polite, or if she is actually interested?

[Anonymous]

[Dim1213]

It is so hard to tell because they often show off the normal signs just cause she is shy. The only way to really tell is to ask her out.

[Asker]

Yea. I know. But this is what happens.
Wheel seems enthusiastic or eager. Possibly even agreeing to the idea of it if it's left vague. But when i try to cement the plans, she shys away. While still sounding sorta disappointed.

[Anonymous]

If she initiate conversation with you and actual sends u needs within a week of meeting you.

[Opinion Owner]

Just lol on downvoting. Enjoy the cuck goals of 2017.

[SarahsSummer]

By asking her in a date, having her accept, show up and after that date she tells you she'd like to do it again.

[Asker]

That's part of my issue.

She seems eager and enthusiastic to do something, but is never willing to commit to an actual day to get together.

[SarahsSummer]

You've asked for a specific date and time date with her?

[Asker]

I mentioned a specific day, and she said she was on duty (She's an EMT) but when I asked for when she may be available, she never replied. But she replied when I wished her a happy Birthday a week later.

Then again she does this stuff, so who knows with her?

Laughs at my not-so-funny, slightly teasing jokes. Then sorta teases me in response

Locks eyes from a distance

Never texts first, but has no issues talking for hours on end

When we first met and had semi similar schedules see would show up near me in an otherwise empty room/building.

She seems to actually be trying to motivate me into becoming an EMT (Like she is) might say something. She already knows that I have been planning on doing so.

[SarahsSummer]

I'd say you should be a little more aggressive but only in a more forward and committed manner. not aggressive aggressive if you know what I'm meaning. Just so she has to think, wow, this guy really likes me, maybe I should open up a little to the idea. That's what I'd think anyway.

[Asker]

I think I know what you mean. Kinda to make it more known that I actually am interested in her. Kinda push more so to do something. But not seem dickish about it?

Also, do those few things I mentioned. Does it lean more one way or another?

[SarahsSummer]

Oh yes! I think it's very promising! ❤

[Asker]

I guess it is looking promising. But I still am unsure if she is either just an extremely kind hearted person, or if she is genuinely interested.

I guess I'll message her next week asking how the EMT Certification went, and will try to hopefully get an actual thing set for us.

[SarahsSummer]

Don't go beating around the bush! Contact her with purpose! Purpose to get what you want, not just small talk that feels nice. Good luck.

[Asker]

Eh, I just feel funny messaging her solely with that purpose. I would rather talk first then when it seems right ask her.

What would you say if I do it straight away?

[SarahsSummer]

Based on what I know already, I'd say "what took you so long" lol.

[Asker]

I mean, if what would you say if you were in my shoes messaging her.

As I already have tried, but not explicitly making it known that I was interested in her. Like I asked if she wanted to get together over break. And she simply said "We can always give it a shot!"

Maybe if it was more explicitly that I was romantically interested, then I would have a different result

[SarahsSummer]

Let's get together for ____ (you pick something you'll enjoy) she says yes, great. She says no, you say c'mon, you know I like you, I think you're great, you know you like me too. just meet me for ____. and then stop talking

[Asker]

I guess. I was thinking of Ice Skating maybe? (I can't skate though..) But its like an hour by train...

[SarahsSummer]

I think that's great. Like at Wollman rink or Rockefeller plaza? but if not, I'd put some thought into is the time it takes to get there worth what you want to give her/show her? I'd probably feel more comfortable saying yes to something more local and casual than a journey of that magnitude.

[Asker]

Wollman rink I was thinking. But it is after Christmas, so Rockefeller plaza might not be too crowded now.

How did you know I was talking about NYC? I guess the Train mention gave it away?

[SarahsSummer]

No. Not that. I was just hopeful that traveling an hour to ice skate would be as monumental as what I mentioned. Otherwise it's just a skating rink with a really big and long hassle to get to.

[Asker]

Also, if this was more late Spring or Summer, I would probably just take her to Long Beach or something like that. Winter makes it much more difficult.

[SarahsSummer]

We have a Long Beach where I live (much further than an hour to NYC) and it's a great date spot in the springtime or fall to walk along.

[Asker]

Ah, just happened to be a coincidence that the two you mentioned are the ones I'm considering.

Also, there would be a nice dinner after, so its not like its a whole trip just to skate for like 30 min

[Asker]

I hear my local one is as well. But I'll need to look into it a bit more before hand. I guess you are either NJ or Cali?

[SarahsSummer]

Nope but I've spent enough time in manhatten to know the biggest deal ice skating rinks in the northeast. persinally, I think you'd do better to make that a second date. Something more local and not as much of a commitment for you both right off the bat.

[Asker]

Yea, but there isn't too much to do out her on the island, most good stuff is in the city, and I'm still 20, so that rules a few places out.

Like I said, Long Beach would be fine if It was Summer. But, pointless during winter. Hmmm... This will take a while

[SarahsSummer]

What do you do to entertain yourself in the winter there?

[Asker]

For me, usually head into the city. There's not that much to do.

I'm sure I can find something nice if I look around enough. I got a few restaurants in mind, but not much of anything to actually do beyond just eating

[SarahsSummer]

Eating and talking and getting. better aquainted... romantically. the first date should always be shorter than anybody wants it to be.

[Asker]

I guess. At least there are some decent restaurants around. Japanese Fusion would be fine I think. Not that cheap of a place. An Entree is ~25-30. With some Kinda more standard stuff also available if she's not into that stuff.

[laurapalmer]

It can be difficult to tell. You'd most likely have to ask her out and see what she says.

[Asker]

That's part of my issue.

She seems eager and enthusiastic to do something, but is never willing to commit to an actual day to get together.

[laurapalmer]

Shy people don't usually act eager when they don't wanna do something. I say keep trying!

[Asker]

Yea, I guess. Still kinda throws me off though. That is really the only think that is keeping me questioning of she's just being nice, or if she is interested.

[laurapalmer]

Girls are weird

[Asker]

People in general are.

For what it's worth, my gut is saying to keep at it with her. Don't know why though

[laurapalmer]

Then keep at it! I hope it works out :)

[Asker]

Hopefully. These are a few other things that she does, if it matters.

Laughs at my not-so-funny, slightly teasing jokes. Then sorta teases me in response

Locks eyes from a distance

Never texts first, but has no issues talking for hours on end

When we first met and had semi similar schedules see would show up near me in an otherwise empty room/building.

[laurapalmer]

That stuff makes me think she's definitely interested.

[Asker]

I guess.

Plus that she seems to actually be trying to motivate me into becoming an EMT (Like she is) might say something. She already knows that I have been planning on doing so.

[Asker]

The main reason the I haven't really been completely forward with her is that I am afraid that I may lose her as a friend, if it turns out that she isn't interested.

[laurapalmer]

I guess you'll just have to decide if it's worth it

[RJGraveyTrain]

Women would stop being jealous of each other and jars would go unopened. The end.

[Metlahaed]

There's a short story in there somewhere.

[RJGraveyTrain]

@Metlahaed Yup.

[SarahsSummer]

Wait, what?

[RJGraveyTrain]

@SarahsSummer It's a joke please don't get triggered.

[RJGraveyTrain]

@SarahsSummer Wait a second... this reply isn't actually supposed to be here. I meant to say this on another question.

[SarahsSummer]

Lol. No trigger, 😊 I just don't understand your answer in relation to the askers question.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Sorry @asker, it appears I answered the wrong question:

To actually answer your question it's hard to tell generally speaking. Everyone is generally different so you'd have to provide examples of your interactions with this person for me to formulate any real response.

[Asker]

So here's a few of the things that she does.

Laughs at my not-so-funny, slightly teasing jokes. Then sorta teases me in response

Locks eyes from a distance

Never texts first, but has no issues talking for hours on end

When we first met and had semi similar schedules see would show up near me in an otherwise empty room/building.

She seems eager and enthusiastic to do something, but is never willing to commit to an actual day to get together.

For what its worth she is very shy in general. So...

[RJGraveyTrain]

It sounds like there's interest there, but she likely is too nervous to follow through. You'll just have to be more forward.

[Asker]

Maybe. or, well. Hopefully.

How can I really be more forward than I have been? It's kinda obvious that I am interested in her, and I am always the one who initiates contact with her.

Side note, building on stuff she does, she kinda seems to be trying to motivate me into actually going a head with EMT stuff.

[RJGraveyTrain]

By telling her flat out that you like her.

[Asker]

I guess I am too scared of loosing her as a friend if it turns out that she doesn't feel the same

[Tiadog]

If she laughs at all you're jokes. And she blushes... a lot!

[Asker]

Eh, I suppose. Haven't seen her in person in months, so I can't say much on the blushing. But I do make some stupid jokes over text, and she claims to laugh at them with saying "Hahah" or "Ahahah"

[Tiadog]

You should video chat with her. Then see if she blushes

[Asker]

Would definitely be quite awkward given that we speak monthly to bi-weekly at best. Then again there's this stuff.

Laughs at my not-so-funny, slightly teasing jokes. Then sorta teases me in response

Locks eyes from a distance

Never texts first, but has no issues talking for hours on end

When we first met and had semi similar schedules see would show up near me in an otherwise empty room/building.

She seems to actually be trying to motivate me into becoming an EMT (Like she is) might say something. She already knows that I have been planning on doing so.

But this is a bit unsettling, She seems eager and enthusiastic to do something, but is never willing to commit to an actual day to get together

[YaBaba]

If she gives you attention. Get excited to talk to you or when talking about you.

[Asker]

She never initiates contact, but we have no issues with talking for hours on end.

So... Yea, Se's kinda an odd one

[YaBaba]

If you talk for hours, without long long pauses, then she might be interested

[Asker]

True. But the lack of initiation and that she is never willing to commit to getting together kinda throws me off. But she does seem eager about doing so.

[Metlahaed]

Ask her.

[Asker]

IF I wasn't afraid of losing her as a friend, I would... Maybe I should just go a head at and come clean with her.

[Metlahaed]

Yeah should. If you guys are really close, maybe you won't talk for a month or so, but everything will go right back to normal.

[Asker]

I guess. We are not particularly close to begin with, speak semi-regularly at best. Usually only monthly, or slightly better.

What does this indicate, based off these few things.

Laughs at my not-so-funny, slightly teasing jokes. Then sorta teases me in response

Locks eyes from a distance

Never texts first, but has no issues talking for hours on end

When we first met and had semi similar schedules see would show up near me in an otherwise empty room/building.

She seems to actually be trying to motivate me into becoming an EMT (Like she is) might say something. She already knows that I have been planning on doing so.

But this is a bit unsettling, She seems eager and enthusiastic to do something, but is never willing to commit to an actual day to get together.

[SwolDishWasher]

You can't