"You can cry" - Is this the BIGGEST lie told by women?

[wingspan83]

Lol, NEVER EVER cry in front of your woman. It's one of the top 3 turnoffs and has been proven by psychological research to be true. Women subconsciously and consciously perceive a crying man as weak and effeminate which are big negative traits for men. My own mother loathed seeing me cry even at age 10 b/c I broke my back, so how the fuck could a woman tolerate a grown man crying? I'm telling y'all, even if a close relative or a pet died, do NOT cry. Be sad or be a little distant if you can, but NEVER cry.

Yes

No

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+1 y

Y'all, I'm not trying to antagonise women as unforgiving animals or something. I don't believe it's a woman's fault that she's literally, from birth, biologically programmed to see negative traits in a man that cries. I'm not saying that men should never cry at all, JUST DON'T DO IT IN FRONT OF HER.

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+1 y

If your mom died, cry as much as you want alone. Don't cry at the funeral if you've got a SO. Trust me.

[Prettygurl12]

I have no issue with a man crying. My fiance is very in touch with his emotions. You know what that means? That means that he cries on occasion, sure. But that also means that he doesn't yell at me or storm off in a huff or shut down. That means he tells me straight up if I did something to upset him. That means he openly is enthusiastic. That means he accurately expresses his love for me. That means he never conveys the incorrect emotion.

And if that means he cries during Les Mis or during a fight with me then that's fine. Because at least he's genuine.

Also crying is a 100% sure fire way to get cuddle time because I just can't handle him being sad lol I have to fix whatever it is that is making him upset and make it all better.

[Anonymous]

i promote crying actually. especially if the guy is really stressed and is on the verge of violence. we are all made to cry for a reason and its just we as a society made it unacceptable for men to cry which i hate because crying is how we release tension in our bodies and helps us relax for both genders. it in no way turns me off to see a guy cry. i actually am more likely to cuddle a guy who is crying rather then a guy who isn't. everyone needs emotional release and so what if its in public or not. maybe people shouldn't be giving guys who happen to let a tear down such a hard time. it's dumb.

[Nodachi]

As long as they're not overwhelmingly emotional and cry at every little thing, I think it's very sincere to cry. I think those kinds of studies are a little bit misleading because they have no context to them. Is it your partner who you have built a strong bond of trust with, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and breaks down in front of you? Or is it some random needy guy who just freaks out?

Male or female though, everyone should always aim to keep emotionally cool and composed. Crying is a last resort when you are seriously hurt, otherwise it basically becomes ingenuine.

[Elarra]

I wish men would cry more actually. I'm convinced most of the reason guys are assholes, whether intentional or not, is because they've come so guarded of their feelings and emotions and are now callous. It feels good to let stuff out. I've had a guy I was dating cry for the first time in years in front of me. He was embarrassed, but I just held him for hours while he cried and I didn't think any less of him. Everyone hurts. If you weren't meant to cry then you wouldn't have been born with tear ducts.

[FakeName123]

Unfortunately it is partially true. A crying man is indeed a major turn off for almost all women, because they want stability and protection by their man instinctively.

That being said - there is a difference between being a little whim and between tearing up every once in a while. There are situations where it happens and where it's necessary and if a woman perceives that as weakness, she is majorily lacking in empathy and compassion towards you. Aka she is a major c*nt that you do not want to be together with to begin with.

[EOTS1]

Great points, all true. Women cannot not even control this negative reaction they have to seeing males cry, it's hardwired into them.

[wingspan83]

Women hateeeee the truth put right in front of their eyes, even though it's not their fault that evolution has hardwired this shit into them. Lmao

[Blake0048]

Yes this is true.. unfortunately. They will never admit it but the fact is they are completely turned off by you crying even if as a man you probably have a lot more to cry about in your lifetime than she will. It is almost never ok to cry.(but im sure she expects you to put up with her cryinb and coddle her etc...) Now don't get me wrong I don't think a grown man should ever cry the way little girls do for attention/to manipulate others and get their way/over petty shit. However men shouldn't be shamed or looked down on for having nornal human emotions especially if the situation actually warrants it (death of a family member) that being said any girl who has any issue whatsoever with me crying if my brother/father/mother died can leave. If she ever brings up a time you cried and uses it against you during a fight that should also be a dealbreaker as well.

[Litza]

My future mate can cry in front of me. I just need it not to be over small things that I wouldn't even cry over. Then I'd be confused as to why you're crying over spilled food or something. Life is hard on everyone, so crying is a good way to cope with certain situations since men were given the same emotions as women... Ugh, society has taken this too far... Men are human, they have a right to cry as well.

[wingspan83]

It's not about whether men have a right to cry or not. It's that they won't benefit from showing that type of emotion to their female signifcant other.

And again, REGARDLESS OF CIRCUMSTANCES, women perceive crying men as weak. Just the sight of it will do the trick.

[Litza]

For some women, maybe. Not for me. It's kinda scary in my opinion if I never see a guy cry because he's trying to be the Alpha stereotype. I like it when men have emotion and aren't stone cold. In fact, I prefer it. I'd honestly be insulted if my future mate thought he couldn't cry in front of me. This is my thoughts on the issue.

[Litza]

Here's my question to you. Your mother doesn't sound like the most nurturing parent out there... Could you believe this theory based on your childhood with her? Because it seems like you're generalising an entire gender here...

[jayjay16]

maybe it's different for everyone else, but seeing my man cry makes me love him more and isn't a turn off. I don't see it as weak or effeminate. to me it shows how affectionate and loving he can truly be. I rather see a man cry or shed some tears over something emotional or painful, then never cry or anything.
But again that's just me.

[jayjay16]

I think it's funny that you think all of us girls are lying because you apparently had a horrible mother who didn't let you cry, that we are all the same way, apparently you just can't cope with your mommy issues. not ALL people are psychologically the same and you can not group individuals based on statistics

[jhale]

I think is just depends on how often and the reasons for the crying. If a guy, or anyone for that matter, cry's over every little thing its not attractive. But lets say there is this guy who doesn't show any type of emotion, but one day something happens and he finally opens up to you and starts to cry. That is a huge (but very odd) turn on for a gorl. Is shows vulnerability.

[Elle820]

EXACTLY

[Sonjita]

NO, especially if he is crying because of me. That would make me so happy. Muahahahaa

Seriously now
No one likes a cry baby who is whining all the time about everything.
But crying sometimes is normal and I don't think it's a sign of weakness but a sign of actually having emotions.

[Krodaxun]

I've only cried once in front of my SO and she was nothing but supportive. I had to put down my dog. I knew she'd be happier in my arms than at the vet so I did it myself. I balled like a baby and she held me for 2 hours until I stopped. If you're crying over something worthwhile, women aren't turned off by it.

[Elle820]

Nah... there is fine line here. For example my boyfriend is the definition of macho. He will have bronchitis & ride that mf out till it turns into pneumonia bc he is too much of a man to go to the doctor. Now that's just ignorant! 😂 My point is.. being that he is so "tough" & such a "hard-ass" 24-7 if he showed a soft, emotional side once in awhile, like if I ever saw him cry I would see him as weak at all. Thank God he's human! Haha jk. But really, I tell him all the time tears are really a sign of strength. It takes a strong person to be so vulnerable & it's only human. I would never judge anyone for being human. So I don't know where or why this mentality has been so driven into men. It's natural to cry when life happens.

[Elle820]

*wouldnt see him as weak at all

[Anastasiya00]

No! Well, it is true thatt most people look very unnattractive while crying LOL and its not like she is gonna be aroused by your weeping hahahah but if a woman loves you she won't be Bothered by it because its unattractive. Yes, being "masculine'' and strong is sexy but that doesn't mean you can never ever cry

[samhradh_leannan]

No. I would say that it's one of the most loving and accepting things your SO can say to you. I like guys who can feel and show their emotions. Crying is healthy. Refusing to cry in front of your SO even when you've just lost someone important to you is not healthy.

[samhradh_leannan]

It sounds like you were scarred by some experiences in your child hood. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Nothing melts my heart as much as seeing that my SO is moved enough by something to actually cry. Not that I want him to be upset, but if he is, I want him to show it. I hope someday you can feel safe enough with someone to be vulnerable that way.

[Cosytoasty]

It's about context,

If you're a 20 something crying because you think life is so hard and you have "depression" then yeah, you'll be seen as a baby and weak.

If you're a soldier returning from war and cry because you watched your best buddies get killed and you're the only one left... most/all women will completely understand and actually cry with you.

[ice_cream]

I like it when a guy cries in front of me bc that means he trust me enough. my male friend told me once that he cried in front of his girlfriend when she told him to break up and instead of being more sensitive about it she acted arrogant so maybe what you're saying is right but not all women bc I would like it if a man cries as he isn't ashamed of his feelings (men are humans they have the right to cry too )

[CoolSky01]

i will put it this way, iam very unemotional and it gets me compliments that my emotional friends dont get that often if anytime.

Unless you've been hit with something incredibly trumatizing crying infront of a woman makes you look and feel weak, she wants a guy who can take care of the situation, handle her and be tough for her , she has no use for cry babies, you can all deny it but facts dont lie.

[estoydorado1]

I've told men to cry if they needed to and then held them while they did. A few of them were family members but a few of them were friends, and a couple were unrequited crushes (I was crushing on them). I'm not ruled by my subconscious. If I like a man and/ or have witnessed his competence, him crying isn't going to negate what I know to be true, it hasn't in the past and I don't see why it would start to now.

[estoydorado1]

Lmao 😏. The ego's are fragile over here. If women call you effeminate it's a lot less to do with your tears and more to do with your overall demeanor blue anon.

[Barrabus_the_Free]

The biggest? Nah. That would be things like "I love you", "I'm faithful to you", "I'm a good woman", "I'd never do that to you", and "It's your baby". Those are BY FAR much bigger lies, and told more often.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend cried in front of me and honestly, like a lot of other girls are saying, it just made me love him more. For a starter it eliminated all doubts in my mind that he might not really care, but most importantly it showed a different side and I'm so glad it's there! I love that he's not afraid to be completely real and honest with me. I'd take a sensitive guy over a guy with the emotions of a rock any day!

[Jackblue]

Yeah for some reasons both genders lie about what they want. Guys say we want a woman with some meat on her bones who looks natural (no makeup), but that is of course untrue. Women say they want a man who shows emotion, when what they really want is a man who is secure all the time.

[Lopezz1999]

I actually do like a girl with a bit of meat on her bones lol

[AleDeEurope]

I disagree to a certain extent. The only time a man could cry in front of a woman without her getting turned off, is when a relative (even a pet for some) dies.
Other than that, yes, it's a turn off, despite saying it isn't.

[windknowsmyname]

So this what this world come to. These emotions are given to us for a reason. If the women find it a weakness to shed tears then let her think what she want. If she lose attraction cause im crying then ill take that risk. Im a human with emotions. I accepted her flaws vut its not okay to shed a tear when i need to. she's not meant for me or if she's a friend or something along those lines. F**k her.

[wingspan83]

I mean she's not going to fuck off if you CRY. it's just that she's BIOLOGICALLY programmed to see you as weak, even though she probably consciously tries to fight it off.

[PrincessPie]

Honestly mean it when i say a man crying does not turn me of nor does it make me think they're less manly showing emotion is fine.. unless he crys at stupid things.. i think a man showing a emotion is a good thing.

[spooky_skeletor]

if she really loves you, she's not gonna judge you for crying in front of her. in fact, it might strengthen the bond between you two if you show your actual emotions to her instead of tr ying to put a strong facade when you're not fine.