Why do I feel guilty when he's not even my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I have been talking to this guy-guy A-for a while now and we live in different cities. But I have been hanging out with another guy-guy B-and we've kissed and done other sexual things twice but never sex. But whenever I hookup with guy B or even talk to him I feel guilty like I am doing something wrong. I feel guilt because I want guy And I know that if he knew that I was hooking up with another guy he would be upset. So why do I feel guilty when guy A is not my bf?

Updates

+1 y

Well I have been talking to guy A for 3 months now but have known each other since middle school. He's met my family and he has introduced me to his mom. I've met his roommates and he shows affection towards me in front of them.

Updates

+1 y

Guy B I have known since elementary school and I have been hanging out with him since June. My intentions were only to be friends with him and I told him from the start that I was seeing someone but we weren't going out.

Updates

+1 y

So I just saw something that a girl posted on his status and she was flirting with him then he commented back. Yeah so that ruined my mood :-(...but thanks for the advice. I'm just gonna do whatever I wanna do...

Updates

+1 y

So I'm just gonna take a risk with guy A because I honestly believe that he really cares about me through his actions. As for guy B I'm going to be strictly friends w/him. Thanks 4 the advice.

[nermalinda]

You have to stop caring about what everyone else wants and focus on what you want. That's the only way you can be happy.

If you don't really like guy B, then you're going to have to be honest with him and stop hooking up with him. If you really just want to use him physically and you have to lead him on to do that, you're probably going to feel guilty about it which sucks.

If you're really into guy A, maybe you need to figure out where you two stand. Do you know if he's being exclusive with you? Does he want you two to be exclusive? As long as he doesn't have a double standard, you two can work things out.

If you are only hooking up with guy B because you don't want to hurt his feelings, that's what's bothering you. Never do something just to make another person happy when you're hearts not in it. That will just end up hurting everyone more.

[Feenix]

Your probably just the type of person who doesn't like to decieve others :)

if you want to be with guy A & feel bad about Guy B

Dont Do anything further with Guy B :)

& its probably because guy a makes you feel secure in a way

or some way positive/good about things

& you don't want to hurt him

:) but you need to choose, because you can't have both

if your feeling like this :)

[Asker]

But how do I tell guy B that I would like to be friends only with him. I told him that once and look what happened. I don't want to hurt him since I've been hooking up with him...

[m3TALchick]

If your positive that it was flirting and he didn't tell her to stop then maybe you should think about moving on. If he has respect and love for you then he'd tell her to back off.

[Asker]

She put a ;-) and to me that's trying to flirt...idk I was jealous when I saw that lol...why do these things have to b so complicated...

[m3TALchick]

If your for sure that he is 100% for you, then you don't have anything to worry about.

[Asker]

True... Thanks for he advice!

[Hughman]

Because female psychology is not inherently designed to cope with sexual feelings for multiple partners. (limited ability to engage in polyamoury)

It's just a generalisation, but it holds well.

You like Guy A. You want to keep Guy A. Messing about with Guy B puts that in jeopardy.

[martyfellow]

Simple..you're blowing any chance you have with this guy A. Time to stop fooling around with B and pursue A seriously, no?

[Asker]

I know I was kinda jealous when I wrote that last update. But yeah I know what I gotta do. Thanks for the input.

[navybabe]

I'm in the same situation right now! I hooked up with guy B last night and I feel disappointed and gross with myself. And it wasn't even sex! I think its because you have strong feelings for guyA but guyB was more convenient in your time of need. Next time think of the long run and holed out for the one you truly love

[m3TALchick]

You better stop feeling guilty. Your not in a relationship with "A". He is probably doing the same thing and not even thinking twice about it. Don't feel guilty for something pointless.

[silviozo]

So just because guy A might be doing the same thing you should go ahead with it? What if he isn't? Where is the trust? Although she is not bound in any way to guy A, that doesn't mean she should play him or make a fool of him.

[m3TALchick]

Playing who?! THEY AREN'T TOGETHER. HELLLLllllllloooo. Why feel guilty for something that isn't set in stone? Why waste your time and energy on something like that?? Life is too short to feeling guilty for something ridiculous like that. Life is also to short to have to explain myself because you don't know the whole story and I definitely don't. All I know is that their not together and that is the only definite detail. She's asking why does she feel guilt, not if she should be!

[silviozo]

Fell guilty because if you want to actually make it work between you two, you will lose a lot in his eyes if he finds out what you did, and in most cases, he does. If lets say I f*** a girl 2 days before I make my friendship official with another girl, I did nothing wrong, but she will not be happy when she finds out. Put yourself in the shoes of the real victim and see how you feel. But hey, that's just my opinion, you can ignore it if you want.

[m3TALchick]

Your not making sense. Your assuming that you know what his feelings are for her, which you have no idea of. This conversation is over.

[simpleguy2010]

Simple reason, you have feelings for guy A, you have begun to love him.

[Asker]

How do you know when you are in love or falling in love with someone??

[simpleguy2010]

When you miss someone, specially on special occasions

[Anonymous]

idk but you shouldnt. if he doesn't want you to hang out or hook up with other guys then you should be exclusive. on the flip side, how do you know he's not doing the same with other girls?

[Anonymous]

Well, in the end, the decision will be up to you...Funny thing is, I am in a situation similar to yours, me being guy A. Don't really know about her and a guy B, but hey, anything is possible. I am doing everything I can to show her that I would be the best for her, but in the end, she will decide. All I can do is hope, and trust.

[BigJay]

I think that you clearly have stronger feelings for guy A than you think and that's why you are feeling guilty. I could be wrong just giving you my opinion. Just chill out enjoy life and have some fun.

[Anonymous]

From what you said, it seems that you like guy A, since you care about what he might think about your actions. Which guy treats you the best ? Which guy do you really like?

[Asker]

I really like guy A but my intentions were only to be friends with guy B but he told me he liked me after we had hung out a couple of times. Then one thing leads to another and I'm hooking up with guy B. they both treat me good but I have been talkin to guy A longer so I have a stronger connection with him. But guy B is in the same city as me so there's a bunch of temptations.

[Opinion Owner]

Well it depends on how big of a distance you are talking about. You shouldn't base your decision solely on that. Maybe guy A has more to offer than guy B, but you are not giving him a chance.

[Opinion Owner]

Forgot to add, no matter what you do, which guy you chose, do NOT let him wait. Do not let him build up hope, shattering them after. That's the worst thing you could do. Tell him what you are planing to do.

[Anonymous]

Well good for you. I bet guy A does care for you.