Why do so many girls put little to no effort into conversations?

[TheOneAndOnlyBart]

Not trying to generalise here. I have met a handful of girls who are fun and engaging to talk to, although they are definitely in the minority.

A common trend I have noticed when talking to girls is that most of them seem rather boring. They'll give me nothing to work with in terms of conversation material, and it honestly feels like I'm more of an entertainer than anything else. When I ask them about themselves, I get nothing ("My hobbies? Oh, I just like to hang out with friends."). I can crack jokes, tell stories, share thoughs or tell something about myself, but in the end I feel like I'm talking to a wall. Never does she ask me a question or share a story of her own, let alone show that she is even moderately interested in anything I say.

It feels really frustrating because it makes conversations everything but enjoyable, and makes me wonder if I'm the boring person after all (in the end I'm the common factor here). That confuses me though, because generally speaking I don't experience these issues when talking to guys. They tend to show interest in what I say and add value to the conversation.

Could it be that girls expect guys to carry every conversation? Am I just meeting the wrong girls? Perhaps there is something within myself that I'm missing? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

[PotatoNinja]

In my opinion, you have two aspects here:
1. Interest - if the girl is interested in you she'll go out of her way to make the conversation flowing, as you would if you like her... and of course the other way around, if she doesn't really like you she'll try to end the conversation quickly

2. Connection - sometimes there's just no "click", sometimes the conversation just normally flows (or doesn't flow)... that depends on. the chimestry between you two...

And don't forget, some people are just less talkative...

Oh another thing to consider is that girls tend to get much more attention, so sometimes they just don't want it

[TheOneAndOnlyBart]

Good point, and I think it's mostly point #2 that is problematic. How do you find that chemistry? Generally speaking I try out a wide range of subjects to see if there is anything we have in common, but when it feels like she isn't passionate about anything at all, I just give up and move on.

[Anonymous]

I’m gonna tell yah mate... most girls get texted by dudes trying to be funny and wittty or ask them a million interview style questions a day. So girls are basically on autopilot most times when responding to most guys who initiate with them.

I don’t think it’s even that they try to be this way, it’s just how they end up after so many conversations and text from other guys. You have to really connect with a girl, in terms of sharing like or dislikes and having some major common interest.

But either way girls suck when it comes to conversations in my opinion haha.

[witherwing]

That's my way of getting rid of people. I would assume other women do that too, when they are not interested in talking in the slightest. I get a lot of people just chit chatting with ne, which I hate. Probably would be just best to say "I don't want to talk to you", but many people get really pissed off when I say that (I have tried), so I rather just let them gently realise I have no interest in them. At least I don't get yelled at then.

[TheOneAndOnlyBart]

Fair enough. I suppose I'm just talkative like that. Not in the sense that I chat up strangers who are minding their own business, but it really bothers me when people pull out their phone in social settings, for example. Personally I'd rather talk than silently stare at a screen, but I understand that not everyone is like that.

[Maxether]

Personally while people get mad they'll appreciate the transparency because I think it's a waste of time texting someone you barely give a fuck about in hopes they'll read your mind when you could of Said no out the gate but that's me like it makes it easy to navigate the situation instead of you being ambiguous because my frustration with women in the past is not being honest an straightforward like I hate guessing if she interested makes me not wanna engage in the conversation

[Anonymous]

Yeah, well.. maybe it's because they have no interest to talk to you. And maybe, the reason you care about them not being chatty, is because you interested with them, and you want more.

Fyi, not only girls do that. We, including you, may do that too to some people with or without we realizing it.

[TheOneAndOnlyBart]

I care about it when people do that to me in general, regardless of whether I am interested or not. I think we can all agree that everyone prefers talking to someone who gives them a reason to stick around.

[Victoriaann2425]

Well for me having a conversation with anyone gives me anxiety attacks. ( I suffer from bad anxiety) so normally in quiet and I'm thinking about what i should say. But once in comfortable it's like I'm a totally different person cause I feel like I can break out of my shell.

[TheOneAndOnlyBart]

That's unfortunate to hear. I hope it gets better.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

I’m only boring if I’m not interested. If I’m interested I’ll be my fun self.

[insertanamehere]

First of all, were those girls interested in you?

[TheOneAndOnlyBart]

Judging from the behaviour I described above I would say no, but who knows really. I'm no mind reader.

[insertanamehere]

Probably they weren't, sorry. Usually we do put effort into conversation when we're attracted to someone.

[TheOneAndOnlyBart]

Makes sense. Hopefully I'll experience that at some point.

[insertanamehere]

You will :) don't worry

[Maxether]

The question is why engage with someone your not interested in? Like it's honestly not fams fault cause a lot of women on here saying they dry text guys there not interested In doesn't make sense, like WHY waste time that's kind of shitty all cause you don't wanna hurt people feelings is a piss poor excuse because know you looking boring an dishonest