The daughter of the woman I am dating asked me to take her bra shopping after her mother refused. What should I do?

[ChelseaCleroux42]

I am forty-two years old and recently divorced with two college aged daughters. I was married for almost a decade but have been divorced for over three years now. I recently began dating a woman named Anne-Marie who is forty-two and also recently divorced with three teenage daughters. I recently watched Anne-Marie's three teenage daughters while she was work. Her three daughters know I have two daughters of my own who are in college and have in the past asked me for advice on school, boys and dating. Her youngest daughter is about to turn twelve and really needs a bra but her mother has been refusing to buy her own thinking she isn't ready. I did not want to say anything to Anne-Marie but her daughter took me aside and said that the girls in gym class were making fun of me and could I please take her shopping. I told her I would have to ask her mother. I do want to go behind her mothers back and take her shopping but I really want to help her if I can. Should I talk to Anne-Marie? What should I say? Should I have told her daughter I would take her shopping? What would you have done? I would appreciate any advice from other women especially other mothers with young daughters.

[smithersss]

I suggest speaking to her mother. I remember when i first needed bras my mom also refused to buy me them. Do not go behind Anne-Marie's back and buy her daughter bras, but suggest getting her a training bra or even a regular bra the next time you go shopping. Say you think it would help her daughter and that you feel her daughter would be more comfortable wearing one!

[ChelseaCleroux42]

Great advice. I will be sure to talk to her tonight. I remember how much it meant to my own mother taking me shopping for my first bra and do not want to take that away from her.

[Zendrya]

I really think you should just talk to her mom. Make sure you say you aren't trying to parent for her but say what your opinion is and express what her daughter said to you.

[Zendrya]

for now you could recommend to the 12 year old that she use a bikini top if she has those

[ChelseaCleroux42]

@Zendrya Thanks for the great advice. She told me she already has a bralette so I suggested she just use that.

[Zendrya]

no problem :) I remember going through the phase of waiting for your mom to get you your first bra. It's a tough time.

[ChelseaCleroux42]

I remember how much it meant to my mother to take me shopping for my first bra as a child and do not want to take that away from her.

[Zendrya]

thanks for MHO :)