What is the best way to shit test men?

[tampaxgirl]

I have to shit test men because I don't want to be with someone who's going to kill me. Luckily I have a man who passed mine. However, I feel some women go too far with shit tests. What is the best way to shit test men?

Insult his body

Insult his looks

Insult his size

Insult something about him other than what has been mentioned above

Just make fun of something about him instead of using insults

Just don't give a shit tests at all

Other

[Anonymous]

His status. See if he passes it like William the conqueror.
William the Conqueror was born in the 11th Century to an unmarried Duke of Normandy, the love child of his mistress. His illegitimate status didn’t stop him from rising to success in battle and leadership, eventually winning the status of King.
During his twenties, he sent a request to Matilda of Flanders for her hand in marriage. Matilda sent back a reply that she was far too high-borne to marry a bastard. When his messenger delivered news of the lady’s response, William the Conqueror rode from Normandy to the neighboring Flanders on his horse, where he found Matilda. He then threw her on the ground by her long, signature braids, in full view of her servants and onlookers. Then he rode off pridefully without a word.
After that, Matilda refused to marry anyone but William the Conqueror. They wed, and she bore him 9 children, including two future Kings. And yes, she was kind of a babe:
In the Anglosphere, I have noticed a rise in this type of shit test that will henceforth be known as the “Matilda of Flanders Shit Test”. This shit test is actually just an unveiled insult. Girls in the Western world will freely say “You suck” or “You’re a douchebag” or “Are you gay?” There is no wit. It is all push, no pull. It takes the enjoyable dance and rhythm out of a girl’s resistance and makes it a battle. I consider it unartistic and grounds for hatefucking.
It will happen to you if you go out and approach, and a good Boy Scout always comes prepared. The standard game advice is to remain unaffected, agree and amplify. This is fine and works… the first time. But too much Matilda of Flanders can not be tolerated.
Any good economist will tell you that when you subsidize something you get more of it. Well, the only subsidy a girl knows is attention. Attention is her currency, to be collected all night and jammed into her handbag alongside her orbiter’s balls. A girl will only behave up to the standard that is required for her to continue getting male attention. This is why a skillful retort to a bitchy shit test may only be rewarded with further bitchy shit-testing.
The modern man is subject to a legal system, so it is not advised to throw every smart-mouthed wench to the ground. Today, a girl whose flirt of choice is an insult must be given a hard takeaway. Ignore her, backturn, ride off on your horse, it doesn’t matter as long as you stop paying attention to her.

[Opinion Owner]

If you’ve already built some attraction, firmly but not butthurtedly stating “Do not talk to me like that” or “Talk to me when you’re ready to behave”, followed by a skillful takeaway may even result in the rarest moment on this precious earth: a hot girl’s apology.
But if it is only attention she seeks, won’t she just get that male attention from another guy? Understand: not all male attention is equal. The thirsty serfs that surround her will be happy to take her shit with a smile and ask for more. The Queen of a thousand subjects will soon bore of them all, but she will always seek out the King who reigns over her.
She wants to be ignored.
She wants to be judged.
She wants to be deemed unworthy, if only for a second.
It is only after being discarded and ignored and replaced that she can chase the most enjoyable pleasure a woman can have: winning over a high value man.

[Opinion Owner]

Don’t give her an orgasm, give her a challenge. Ignore, disapprove, backturn, withdraw affection, flirt with her friends, walk away. If your attention does not need to be won over, it is worth nothing to her.
But unless you have the steel balls of a Norman conqueror, do not try this. It can not be faked. If she senses for a moment that it is a tactic, that you want her to chase you, all is lost. Instead, make it real. Train yourself to be repulsed by a girl’s impolite behavior. It won’t be hard. You must desire to remove these abrasive girls from your life and demand a higher standard of behavior from the girls you speak with. Embrace your natural disgust towards the bitchy, the slutty, the manjawed.
Only when she shows signs that she is ready to submit and accept her womanly role as a soothing feminine presence can she be given a second chance. Be ready for this to happen, but never expect it.

[Opinion Owner]

You must be fully prepared to ride off and take your regal dick elsewhere for another high-bred maiden to suck on, nary to think of this ill-mannered wench again.
Kings don’t chase, they replace. William the Conqueror was prepared to do just that. Are you?

[OlderAndWiser]

A solid relationship is built on love, lust, trust, and respect. Testing your partner implies a lack of trust.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO.

[spiderweirdo]

I swear by this philosophy. The best way to test anyone is to not dive in to quickly. Everyone's on their best behavior for the first few meet-ups. The slower you take things the more information you are going to find out about them, on how they treat you and others in the long-run. Take things slow. If he's into you, he will wait. It's nothing about respecting yourself for me, its literally to suss out someones true colors.

[CreativeMumble]

I wouldn't insult someone, just to test how they react.

I would rather see how he would react if a servant or waiter/waitress made a mistake or something like that. You can really see how people's true nature is based on how they treat people in the service business or something like that.

See how he treats other people, not just the person he's interested in.

[Whatever2929292]

That is good as well as it really shows that you are a bad person if you insult someone it also is a good way to cause someone to loose interest

[Sunburst223]

Um.. why would I say anything of those things? That's not testing anything. That's just being a dick.

[Anonymous]

You can already tell who the douchebags are without shit testing them.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I took a good look at all your shit tests and they are all ad hominem-esk demasculinization techniques that the average blue haired feminist will use when I tell them they are not oppressed. These kinds of 'shit tests' wouldn't really test me as an individual, but I could see how it would hurt an overly sensitive or into himself type of guy. Like you said, it could weed out the ones that want to kill you... guys with power issues (usually with mommy).

by the way, usually they'll (pissed off feminists) shoot at an inability to get women... and insinuate you resort to being gay as an insult. But in the next breath they'll try to claim their support of equality for LGBTQURST and so on types of peoples... after using it as a diss, like Eminem use to 10 years ago. Hypocrites and/or bigots in disguise. I digressed...

To take it too far though, the best way I think would to shit test, as in to make it hurt the worst... ATTACK SOMETHING HE TAKES PRIDE IN. This would mean you have to get to know him and what he prides himself on doing well. So basically the old run-of-the-mill small dick jokes are something we're immune to after the gambit of High School... but something like attacking his ability to play or even figure out the simplest of video games (if he's a gamer) might just make him flip his shit.

Attack something he takes pride in. Most of us already had to come to terms with not looking perfect and not having a 12 inch monster schlong dong, and thus don't really flinch with that kind of shit test... our bruahs shit test us in the exact same way all the time. It would work if he tries to pass himself off as giant dong man all the time and then you see he lied about his size... but other than that, I think he's be immune to that kind of shit test.

[Peter_Penetrator]

Being a guy that is bi polar and she knows i am on crazy meds but she is still attracted to me, i understand being shit tested. Why would she want to get emotionally invested in me or waste her time, if i end up being an emotional drama queen or a threat to her safety. Women need to know if a guy is an ax murderer or not. Especially if she is a new mother. Would she want to risk her life and leave her child motherless. I don’t hold being shit tested against her. She has the right to know if my crazy meds are keeping me sane.

[Mitch6192]

It depends on what age you do it to tbh. Like... If you do it to say... a 22 year old, he'll play a long. If you do it to younger than that, it will hurt him and he won't talk to you again because he'll think you mean it. If you do it to my age, we'll laugh at you and walk away ;p

[KeithThomas]

It isn't nice to test someone, be it on purpose or not. You're playing with their feelings when you do so, be it they find out or not. Imagine if the tables we turned, how would you feel about it. Always put yourself in that situation before putting someone else into it

[Anonymous]

Don't, because even if he's a "good" man, you're going to make him have an attitude of some kind towards you for this "shit test" (games). It won't "work" in your favor. Even if he "passes", he's not going to think too highly about you for it. Just think if it were reversed, would you like it?

[Opinion Owner]

The true "test" is time and getting to know them well.

[qwert1234]

Can't anything be normal?
Go out a couple of times to see if the other matches your preferences.

If there's something off - stop going out and try your luck on the next dude.

No tests needed.

[markscott]

Take time to get to know him before committing to a relationship. There is no substitute for time. Most jerks can act good for a while and fool people for a time.

[Whatever2929292]

Don't do this shit at all. You more often then not will cause him to be offended and loose interest in you. It is not ok to start throwing insults and that is not a good way to make a man love you

[BrittBratt2416]

But why? What's it for though? My test is by looking at his actions and the things he says. If they don't line up, then it's best to move on.

[sean1234]

G OTHER... When he talks about having sex, you say I'll wait only till we get married. If he gets mad or something, he is shit.

[Sweepthelegjonny]

This is literally the dumbest fucking question I've ever read. You’re an asshole.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

Apparently you haven't been on GAG long

[MCheetah]

By just being you. Men will just avoid you altogether and then you can get what you want.

[HungLikeAHorsefly]

Shit tests are definitely bitchy, but I kinda like them. It's a fun little game.

[2opaz]

shit test? wtf is that

i couldnt care less if you insulted me, that stuff you stated above is petty. i would probably ditch your ass if you tried to start drama

[Anon-ymous1]

I don't really understand the question. Can you be more specific about what you're actually talking about?

[readywriter]

What would be the real purpose of these test? I don't get what you will learn.

[8string]

if you said any of these options the I would 100% without a doubt kill you

[Sadly_It_Fell_Off]

I don't "test" my men because I trust my gut.

[thechico79]

what the hell is this?

[Kat_puppies]

you are so fucking pathetic

[TacosRAwesome]

Don't flush the toilet.

[Kitk888]

Wtf?

[Wwwyzzerdd]

You are pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Don't give a shit.