If a girl texts a guy first, does that make her seem needy and desperate?

[silly_pie]

Yes it does

No it doesn't

Other

[Fourth]

I just started seeing a girl we literally only went out once so far. I texted her after the date said I had a good time and we set up a second date. For the days before the second date I would text her first every day and get a text conversation going. As a guy I realize it's generally thought of as my responsibility to take the initiative.

Then today I was really busy and still hadn't texted her yet by evening. So she sent me a text first and it totally made my day. It didn't make me think she was needy or desperate rather it confirmed to me that was interested in me which made me feel good and was much appreciated.

Pretty much what I'm getting at here is that as a girl you can get away with not sending a text first but if a guy is interested in you he will be very happy to get a text from you first.

[Aguysopinion4799]

Depends really on the text or content, if she tets something like:

"Hey, how you doing?"
or
"How's your day been?"

These are totally fine, but if she does something like the following:

"Hey, you free today?"

"*Nickname* What ya doinnnn?"

"*Nickname* I miss you!! ^_^

They feel affectionate but also feel mildly needy, I have no negative feelings towards it just know what description to give it in my view ^_^

[xoxogossipgirlxo]

Absolutely not. It shows that she wants to talk to him and enjoys talking to him. If the guy is not interested he obviously will not respond or rarely text back. So don’t push it. It will make you seem desperate if you like spam text I guess. A good rule might be if he reply’s fast to you, you do the same but if he takes awhile you should take a few minutes.
This is what I do.

[cinderelli]

All the time? yes.. he might even not be interested
sometimes? No.. I think guys like girls to initiate the conversation sometimes because that makes them feel like the girl is interested and thinks about them.. if she doesn't then it can be a hint that she's not interested

[Roux13]

You gotta read the vibes you get from him. If you text him and he doesn't reply don't text the next day. He probably doesn't want to talk to you. I'm a firm believer in if a guy wants to talk to you he will talk to you.

[peppermintpatty]

Guys are clueless and sometime you got to make the first move. Desperate is when you keep chasing after a person who makes it clear they don't want you.

[Sethorien]

No. This is how we move towards equality of sexes. Getting rid of social hangups. If you're an assertive kinda girl who likes to message first, then do it!

If a guy is off-put by that then he wasn't good for you anyways. I'm sure most guys will feel A) complimented by the fact that a girl showed affirmative interest in them and B) relieved that the pressure of the first message isn't on them for once

[Brexon]

It really all depends on the vibe I get, and certainly the word choice. Also if I get text responses seconds after I reply, and paragraphs of text if I don't reply for more than 10 minutes I immediately block the number. I do not care for clingy types.

[HughJass]

95% of the time it doesn't.

If you are in social contact with the girl a lot and after a while she asks for your number or texts you first on social media, depending on the subject and the mood and the content of the convo goes, she most likely just likes you and initiates a private convo with you just like any other guys would vice versa.

[dsaar]

Whoever texts first is simply showing an interest in the other person, either friendly or romantically. It really doesn't mean much past that. The moment you exchange information the other person is more than free to message you, and vice versa. Unless you or him are blowing each other's phone up (even then it'd depend on the content of the message in order to be categorized as "needy") it's fine either way.

[gazram]

I honestly couldn't care less who texts first. It's a conversation. People don't say the same thing when its face to face... "Oh should I say hi first or will that make me sound needy." We just don't do that so I don't see why it's applicable to texting. in my opinion

[KnightCross]

i think that the word "needy" and "desperate" is too strong for this. but i need to agree that if she texts me first, surely she is really interested in me, and i don't see that in negative way, not at all, she is direct and is not afraid in her attempt

[jsdfreedom]

Absolutely not. Women have so many charms and powers of attraction that many, many guys are helpless to resist. A woman who initiates any phase or step of a relationship has already excited a guy more than you know. Guys LOVE feeling wanted by women.

[revo620]

It depends on frequency, how long ago her previous relationship was. In general i say no though because women are naturally very talkative even the shy ones. But there are ways to tell through the convo if she's coming off needy which I don't really care cause hell that mean she definitely into me

[ohayoo]

doesn't depend on the gender first of, and also if you keep texting someone first several times.. you might seem needy, but it depends also on what you text, like if its with a cause then its fine I think, but if its just to ask how they are then meh..

[HP992]

Men and women are both people. Both worry equally about how to text someone first without coming off as uncool.
Conversations are easy to start, but we get analysis paralysis before we begin.
If you wanna text, text. Doesn't matter who you are.

[spooky_skeletor]

noooOO lmao
it's just communication, don't worry about it so much
you won't seem needy or clingy, unless u consistently message them first, like, every 5 minutes without good reason

[Pyrofox]

It doesn't as more than half the time guys wait as to seem laid back anyways and plus no guy wants to seem like they are being aggressive unless told to do so.

[chaelee]

What's wrong with girls texting first? How does it make us seem desperate? It doesn't. Texting first to a guy will show him that you have interest in him and that you think about him as much as he does. I often text first to my 오빠, but I'm far from desperate and needy.

[infinitize]

it can but i think more often its the other way around - if a girl feels entitled for the guy to always initiate and text, that comes across as needy and desperate for reassurances

[psychosam]

I've never understood these "rules" for texting. Just fucking have a conversation like human beings

[Bryanx]

☝👏 So true

[MLGbreezy]

Well said that shit is hella annoying

[MLGbreezy]

Same with dating all these damn rules can't even get to know a person without it being hella complicated

[psychosam]

Hahaha yeah I hate that as well, don't even see the point

[MLGbreezy]

Yup makes no sense all the mind games. People need to just be straight forward and stop acting like it's some kind of crime to say i like you wanna hang out or whatever.

[aggle]

What happened to the days when people would just approach each other and talk when they wanted to, everyone just seems to carry around judgements. No wonder relationships are on the slow decline.

[BloodyCheeseBurger]

A guy texted me for 2 weeks straight everyday first. Then I started texting him first Every day starting the convo. I like to text first because it makes me happy he cares to text back.

[dan_0815]

It's really nice if a girl texts me first, these days guys have to put so much effort in and usually get nothing back, so if a girl is texting me it makes me feel happy that she cares enough to do it

[Anonymous]

Men’s logic in a nutshell.

Guy: I wish a girl talked to me first. I don’t get why women don’t talk first

*Girl talks first*

Guy: Yeah I don’t like her because she seems like a thot :/

[Rosemarii]

true!

[SirMavane]

You're texting the wrong guys then. at least in my experience, i've seen girls make the first move twice now, and both are in a healthy relationship now. Personally I wouldn't mind being texted first, because i am the shy type of guy, but I suppose some guys are just hypocritical

[Bryanx]

Thats not me

[Opinion Owner]

90% of guys do this my loves. Accept it and move on

[Bryanx]

If your calculation is good than I'm that 10%

[Opinion Owner]

They all say that😅🤣

[Bryanx]

believe me i never had a girl and i have no friends...

[Opinion Owner]

That doesn’t mean you’re the 10% remaining. That just means we don’t know yet whether you’d react the same way or not

[Bryanx]

I know how i am, you can belief it or not.

[Opinion Owner]

K dude. Lmao

[SirMavane]

And where exactly do you get your 90% statistic from may i ask?

[Opinion Owner]

Life experiences my dear

[SirMavane]

And you've met 90% of all men? Could just be your area, but that definitely doesn't make for an accurate statement miss

[Bryanx]

☝this guy is right, thank you

[Opinion Owner]

No, “this guy” is just triggered and can’t accept the truth. Lol

[Opinion Owner]

And when men say “women are this” or “women are that” they can’t be proved wrong right? Lmao whenever a woman shows evidence for the opposite, the man goes defensive about it.

[Opinion Owner]

Kinda hilarious... the double standards

[Bryanx]

Okey you know everything, I'm done.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m just telling the truth babe. Sorry I offended you 😋

[Bryanx]

your truth, thats something else.

[SirMavane]

Dear, just because you think something is true doesn't mean it is. You have an opinion, not a fact. And yeah you could be right providing you give me some facts, but these are just opinions and feelings. And facts>feelings love

[Opinion Owner]

Love when men gang up on me for telling the truth. LOL

[Opinion Owner]

Stop being in denial and look around you for once 😝 see ya 👋🏻

[SirMavane]

The fact you aren't accepting anything other than your own view is pretty narrow minded of you

[Opinion Owner]

Nope. I’m pretty sure what I’m saying is generally the truth amongst men (note: I didn’t say all men did this) but I also know that their egos are inflatable balloons full of deluded air so I’m not gonna try to argue with one 😋

[SirMavane]

"i'm pretty sure" there ya have it, once again still not a fact, thus you can't prove it. So you can claim whatever you want, but that doesn't mean its true. Once again meaning that it could be a variety of factors which caused you to have said experiences with the men you did meet. Once again still means it isn't fact

[Opinion Owner]

Lol. Denial 101 at its finest ladies and gentlemen

[SirMavane]

You keep going off of feelings not facts, being unable to make solid arguments 101 ladies and gentlemen

[Opinion Owner]

Of course, a man accusing a woman of “using feelings” rather than facts.

Do you call what I see everyday “feelings” or “facts”? These are my personal experiences, yes, but I’ve lived in 6 different countries. I can make a solid conclusion about male behavior compared to the people that have only lived in one country.

[Opinion Owner]

Again, I never said all men do this. But a good portion of them do

[Opinion Owner]

And you can either stay in your fantasy bubble (hence basing YOUR arguments on your feelings and hurt ego) or accept the facts and move on

[SirMavane]

Its possible to live in 6 countries and interact with 0 men on a relationship level, and living in an area of the country doesn't summarise the entire country, heck maybe your personal preferences for men coincide to be of men who do what you described. There are so many "ifs" to your story. And once again, your personal experience doesn't equal facts, its not been researched by you, you've just experienced something multiple times for as far as I can tell. Thats base for a hypothesis at best, but without concrete research done that still doesn't make it a fact.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay dear ❤️ have a nice day LOL

[Opinion Owner]

Piece of advice to women: never argue with men because their egos are fragile af.

[SirMavane]

Piece of advice to women, don't listen to people that can't make decent discussions

[Sai36]

It's so wrong I like girls texting first, it shows that they are very friendly and we can also communicate to you without the feeling that we don't annoy you (girls)