If you're natural in starting a conversation with anyone, that means you're extroverted and quite social.
And if the person to whom you're texting or chatting with tend to be more introverted, then they'll surely appreciate your move. They believe in honesty and speaking transparently. But don't lead them ( especially guys) into wrong notions by talking exaggeratedly.
However, take note of two things to avoid giving vibes of a desperate person:
1) Make conversations special and unique rather than just casual. Introverts are usually those people who feel insecure in interacting with people believing that people might leave them, because they're not good at expressing. Show that you're interested in talking to them. Your conversations should make the other person open up more and more and feel confident and free around you. That is the key to forge a good bond with introverts.
2) Don't text bomb. Allow them to speak up. They might take time to reply. So have patience. Don't just randomly move over subjects. But don't stick around to one issue either. Ask how they feel about a particular thing rather than stomping around your views on the first occasion. Text bombing can annoy as they might find it difficult to answer so much at one go. There are exceptions to this part though. That's for you to find.
Hope that solves your dilemma.
Healthy tip: Keep it cool and chilled.
There’s a short answer, long answer, and a true answer.
The short answer: no, not really
Long answer: it really depends on the guy. I personally wouldn’t think twice about it. A good friend of mine has a very old fashioned sense of having certain duties as a man, and while he’s not an extreme enough example to decline a girl for texting first, I imagine that there are guys out there who really would care that much.
The true answer: text first if that’s the kind of girl you are. If he doesn’t like it, you didn’t need him anyways. I believe in compromise in a relationship but not for something as trivial as this.
So... initially, definitely text first because good riddance to any man put off or intimidated by you taking the time to start a convo.
But temper this same mentality by making sure that you're allowing the connection to be organic and mutual. Give him time to initiate some convos to make sure you're on the same page.
It's great to initiate and it only becomes a problem when it's clear that you're the only one ever invested enough in the mutual relationship to start a convo. If you don't talk to him and it makes you two fade it's for the better.
If your guy is a more introverted person, I'd think he likes you texting him first, as many introverts want to be cared about a feel more loved than extroverts. Not that extroverts don't need love, but because they are more social, they often have friends that could comfort them. Introverts need the care and love coming from you, his special person. That being said, I do think texting him first is alright, however just not constantly bombing his messages as he would find you annoying. Tip: Keep it cool :)
No, it does not make girls seem desperate at all. Just confident in yourself which is good. Men have too much pressure put on them to always be the forward one and make the first move. If you like a guy, don't be afraid to text him. Especially an introverted guy. As long as you don't overdo it and get super angry when they might take a while to text back, you're good.
I'd say depends on how you're trying to start a conversation with that person, talking about different things in order to gets ones opinion and get them talking so you can get to know them slowly ain't nothing desperate about that, but if it's something off topic and depending how you make yourself heard can either look desperate or not at all.
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Good luck to you. Being older than most here when you met someone you were interested in, the only option was to say what you wanted to say there and then or ask for a home telephone number. If the former you would get an answer straight away usually with a "can I bring my friend" or "have you got a friend to go with mine?". You'd then have to try and pick a time when your or her parents were not around, how would you know?
Just be careful and don't look too keen is what I'd say. The fact you started it will make the boy feel good and he'd probably try harder to make a good impression if he liked you from the start.
My daughter recently married, her husband actually got his father to get her phone number as he was that shy to ask at the time. Takes all sorts. If you don't get the result you want then maybe it wasn't to be anyway. Take care if you arrange to meet someone alone on the strength of one text message, make sure you get to know him and trust him while you are chatting first.
Absolutly not.. Its totally normal and actually it makes it easier for a guy who doesn't talk much or doesn't know how to start a conversation.. Personally if a girl texts me first i give her instant respect cause she didn't "play hard to get" or do any of that nonsense.. It makes everything easier and totally simple.. Both of you would be in the same page if you like each other and it would definitely helps make the relationship stronger
I dont text girls first.. Not because im a show off.. Not because it makes me look desperate.. And not because i dont know how to talk (though i hate small talk and trying to get someones attention to focus with me).. No but only because most of the girls dont take the first step in these stuff and they leave all on the guy to do his thing just to say how good is that guy in getting her.. Some girl i talk to instantly if they are worth it but others i prefer to let them make the first move just to see how much they are able to make things simple and take it easy..
So dont worry about you starting a chat and just keep it simple.. You like that guy so why hold back and not talk or start a conversation?
I am so sick of hearing about things like this. I can't believe people can label innocent nice people as desperate because maybe their style of messaging is more than one. I have to play some stupid game to maybe get a date, what has our world come to. I honestly believe due to all these rules, I hate and refuse to play, that I will be single forever. I haven't had a date in 3 years already.
I carefully text once, I wait 1-2 days patiently, maybe get one message in that time. I delay my response due to some stupid game?
This is stating we live in a world where we are told to just be ourselves, but then we are told we can't be ourselves because we will look creepy, desperate, and tons of other titles. We aren't any of these things, yet we get labeled like it.
I just got ghosted a couple days ago. Probably for playing "The Game" wrong somehow.
I say be yourself, text the way you want, and fuck "The Game" and everyone else. You might be alone forever like me, but at least you aren't lying to anyone and yourself.
Women tend to overthink here. How could it possibly imply desperation? It's rather nice when a women isn't afraid to show interest. It's irritating as hell when they play games and make you wait x amount of time before replying to a text or call or whatever else. Just be you. Don't concern yourself with how something might make you look. You'll find you'll enjoy your life more and that you'll be more attractive to others, and you'll also find you have less complications with an "I am who I am" attitude.
Absolutely not. There are many factors though that can determine the "hidden message" in the actual message. It also depends on the person and how comfortable they are with strangers. If I was texted first my initial reaction would to feel like I must be pretty damn good looking or have that inviting aura in order to influence her enough to take a few seconds out of her day to think of whether or not she should text me and then decide to do so and text me with some icebreaker. Depending on the woman's popularity though, if she received a message first she could feel the exact opposite and be annoyed.
This not only applies to girls. Guys too. Only with different side effects. When girls do this they seem very easy, and you know it's bad thing in all cases, but favorable to guys who will take advantage of you and leave or worse making you the other woman. In guys, I guess, it's okay if a girl thinks he is kinda cute, but she will lose interest a bit or more regardless I think. Also depends on the text. Seriously, depends on the text. "You have time?" is different from "Can we meet?". So its in the text too I think.
I had a female best friend who does that all the time when ever she fancies a guy. My advice is that do not over text or send the message on your end, let the guy respond as well and also observe how he respond. Don’t allow yourself to be the only one making the effort. It takes 2 hands to clap for this game. I can understand that most guys don’t like to open up their feelings at first. So you are doing alright, it doesn’t matter which gender texts first, if you like that person, you gotta go get it of not loose it.
I think it would be refreshing for a girl to text back first. I know that when I last went on dates years ago, there was the expectation that the guy messaged or texted back first. Which didn't make much sense, since occasionally the girl I went on a date with was either chilling out watching TV or making a snack when they received the message and told me what they were doing at that time.
While on my side I was spending an hour trying think of something witty to say and not sound overly nervous. But than again, back then I was a nervous wreck and the girls I dated were generally aloof. (I have no idea why I dated aloof girls 15 years ago)
Anyway simply put, it's fine and actually rather awesome if a girl sends the first text ahead of the guy. And don't be like me back then, just be relaxed and be yourself in your text message.
No, it does not make a woman seem to be desperate.
Rather, it shows her to be a mature adult who is prepared to work for what she wants.
Once women (as a collective) are on the wrong side of 30, they become much less reluctant to make the first move.
I have been a MGTOW monk for 16 years, so I have not tried to initiate anything with a woman for a long time.
Instead, women make moves on me in all sorts of ways in all sorts of places.
They become perplexed when I pretend to not notice what they are throwing at my feet.
It seems that displaying a complete lack of interest draws female attention.
No I text my guy friend first all the time at the beginning, for 4 months and he was sometimes annoyed of me I would still text first just because he was annoyed lol now the tables has turned he initiate mostly now and he is a pain in my ass but I love him and it doesn’t make u look desperate at all.
My friend confidence was low
My mother and father when they were 19,20 my mom purpose to my dad because she know his confidence was a bit low or shy they knew each other since 16/17 been together 30 years now. Nothing is wrong and my mom initiated contact most of the time.
I love it when I get to take a break from starting the text conversation. I like when a girl texts me first. It takes the pressure off a bit since I can over think it sometimes. Really, I love talking on the phone. Listening to your voice is so much better than trying to imagine it while reading your text. There is something about just knowing your on the other end even if no one is saying anything. Seems like a lost pass time. Anyway, people need to stop making all of these stupid nit-picky rules about texting and just be happy someone is texting because they think you are worth their time.
If you want to text first then text first don't hold back. That way you won't have any regrets. However, if you are always the one texting first then the guy is most likely uninterested.
From my experience, the men who are the most interested text first and text back fast which to me is appealing.
Considering the shit that girls have to deal with on any dating site it's kind of hard sometimes for a genuinely interested guy to say something knowing it could possibly be ignored for no other reason than the girl is sick of crappy messages from idiots. Also doing all the chasing makes you seem more interested or desperate, if a girl can get over the stigma of the guy having to send the first message and actually be able to hold a decent conversation, that's way more attractive than any picture for me
s If they do i am extremely desperate since i will text first, i personally like to take stuff in turns, i don't see why it should have to be the guys job to always text first.
To me its only desperate if you keep messaging when someone isn't replying back to you.
No, texting first is fine and even expected. But if he doesn't really engage in the conversation, then after a couple of tries, you can forget it and move on. Don't be that girl who texts 50 times and hour when he's not responding. That's where it all goes bad.
You know that's the thing... There's this girl who just randomly texted me, got to know me and kept on texting. She obviously has a crush on me which I do find very illogical and suspicious by the way - anyway, I would've never ever texted her or even thought about being together and all...
On the other hand, if you like him and he likes you and you already spend a lot of time together, go ahead. Text. He'll be over the moon. You can, of course, ask some test questions to see if he's into you the way you're into him. That's what the girl I was talking about didn't do. We talked like 5 sentences with each other...
So, if you like him and he likes you, go ahead.
I say no, I have often text first. But it has been my experience that older men tend to be put off by women Texting first, old fashioned, the man should make the first move. Younger men have said they were glad I texted first then they knew they read our interaction right. Takes the the pressure off.
I always wait for my guy to initiate our text conversations but he does every morning as soon as he gets up he tells me good morning. But throughout the day I will say random things if I want to tell him something or just say I miss him etc. seems to be working fine for us.
No, shows you are a human being and are actually interested in getting to know us, rather than treat us like we are there to feed your ego. Dont expect mature men to play this game, they will just ignore you... No wonder why so many women are single and boring as fuck.
I think its common for young men to want what they cannot have, so if you make yourself more unavailable by not being the person to always start the conversation then you might have more luck getting him interested than if you text him 5 times a day.
I think you should be able to tell out of his responses if he thinks you are being desperate or if he enjoys the texts though, if you both enjoy talking to eachother it doesn't matter who started the conversation, but if you just send him 10 messages a day asking " whats up?" than thats gonna be a different story
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