Men, if a girl texts a guy first, does that make her desperate?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I chose yes because I've been in a relationship with a guy whom I was interested in and I made the first move. But turns out, he wasn't interested in me as much as I were to him. So I think men would only put in the effort if they're truly interested in you (it's just the way they're wired), I'm in a relationship with a guy who was very interested in me, he initiated the conversation, calls, dates etc and we are still together and crazy in love.
so I believe the guy should text first because they're the ones who should pursue, I know many feminists would not agree with this, but it's just the way it is, I'm also a feminist, but some things cannot be changed.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

No.

NamerOfStars · Accepted Answer

Not at all- interested, yes; eager, sure. But not desperate. If she's texting constantly, never letting up, then sure. But she could just be starting a conversation.

Imagine what your life would be like if you could never do that in any other aspect- you couldn't start talking to someone, you had to try to make them talk to you first, like you'd been jinxed. The very idea is absurd. Why should romance be any different? I mean, full bluntness here: is the kind of guy who'd think less of you for talking to him first the kind of guy you'd WANT to be with?

VanillaSalt · Accepted Answer

Pursue what you want. Just act in a way that makes you look classy. And understand. Men want women not men. Don’t get taken in by this new culture thinking you can be strong and independent and find a good one. If all you have that men want is pussy then sex is all they will want from you.

Also... if you wait for the perfect guy. Is a real possibility you die alone having only ever been used by men. It’s usually not the hot guy that’s going to give you a good life but the good man who may work as a plumber. Good luck.

NyceGuyFinishingLast · Answer

Absolutely not, people mistake happy and interested for desperation all the time. Desperate means that a lot of hope is being efforted in a hopeless situation. Like if a girl continues to text and the guy isn't responding or may have made it clear that he isn't interested but the girl keeps trying.

Making the first move doesn't make you desperate, it makes you eager and taking the initiative. Absolutely nothing wrong with it.

One night stands are usually where desperate comes into play. The guy is hot and heavy with communication until he has sampled the nectar once or twice and then he just ghosts. Guys are or can be just as desperate where girls will lead a guy on trying to either not make things awkward or trying to be nice. Then the guy thinks there is something there when there isn't and he is crushed when she doesn't respond or may keep trying.

Crazybeeguy · Answer

No, it let's us know you're interested. Also it helps keep the conversation moving forward. I've had interests in me before, sometimes a women just thinks a dude is cool, just not interested. Then you know a girl likes you because she messsaged first, we do need to know what your intentions are, e. g. just to be friends or a friend that could be a potential relationship. I had female friends that doesn't like to let a guy know she likes him, WTF? Then there's the flip flop of it, don't be that chick.

Lliam · Answer

No. I hate gender games. Would a man seem desperate if he texted first?
I admire proactive women.

I met my (future) through a dating club before internet. We totally connected on our first date. But, the thing is, I had other dates lined up and there is a chance that I would have followed up on those and not called her back right away. And then, the more time that went by, I might have been afraid that she would be angry, confused or disappointed, and may not have called her at all.
Two days later, however, she called and said two of her friends had offered her two concert tickets to see the Rolling Stones and Red Hot Chili Peppers. She wondered if I was interested. Of course I was! I was flattered and admired her initiative.

lonestar_01 · Answer

No. A lot of guys if they are forced to initiate texts to you all the time, will figure that you aren't interested (even if you are) and will not do it anymore, or jump to the wrong conclusion and move on. If you want a guy to be interested in you, then yeah you are going to have to initiate sometimes. Key thing to remember is, if he's all physical and the verbal heat is with you in person, then he's not just going to not be interested in you if he doesn't text you first. So, no you're not desperate at all

MsTaniaUncensored · Answer

Gender roles are a thing in some cases but I believe strongly that many are out of date and we should start phasing them out. Part of my constant journey of self-improvement is trying to approach men more and while I don't always gather the courage to do it I can understand now how difficult it is to engage another person you are interested in.

Makeushiver · Answer

No not at all but if you it's a good idea to do so w/o an agenda. If don't get a response then don't keep texting. Also when sexting, say something scorching and then don't return to it, Just leave it there and see what happens and send a few chit chat convos before you go for the long ball again. Don't try to infer his feelings from how quickly or how intensely he replies, He could be busy so a long time for a response doesn't mean anything, I forget my phone all the time and won't even look for a text or message for sometimes 4 days , I don't even like carrying a phone

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If so, then when a guy texts first, that will make him desperate, too. But I have a solution to this problem: neither one texts the other and then neither look desperate. Of course, texting is a cowards ways of communicating, anyway. People with confidence would actually call and not worry about looking desperate.

red324 · Answer

I have this problem too. Women never initiate a text on their own. It does get annoying because after the 3rd or 4th date I kind of want them to start texting me on their own otherwise I feel like I'm putting in all the effort. I try and not think too much about it though because like what was said here, girls don't want to appear desperate.

Anonymous · Answer

A woman who liked me refused to message me first for this reason. Long story short now I'm dating her friend who didn't have this hang up.

If in your mind it makes you desperate then fine roll with that. I say you're just setting up unnecessary obstacles for yourself.

Message the guy he might turn out to be a double. In which case move on. See now you're not even thinking about and can turn your attention yo another guy rather then thinking about " what if" with some double.

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

No. Definitely it does not make her seem desperate.

This is a common misconception. IT IS JUST PLAIN WRONG.

Guys like it when you text first. for the exact same reasons... you're hoping he'll be the one to text first. It shows interest (not desperation... you WANT to show interest) but it also takes all the pressure off of the other person. So, I always tell people to just quit being chicken and be the first one to take the leap. It doesn't matter if it's a guy or girl.

Xitomyth · Answer

It heavily depends on the text to be honest. Texting first is more of timing thing, I tend not to be able to get to my messages until late at night, so if they message first, so be it. Now if the text or other message sounds desperate or is written in desperate tone/way, then you might some complications.

MrCommodore · Answer

No it doesn't. I rarely initiate texts with girls, but there are two girls who initiate texts with me regularly, a female friend who messages me most days and female colleague who also initiates messages with me most days.

I dont consider them to be interested and I also don't consider a girl who is interested and initiating messaging to be desperate. Its probably better if a girls initiates now.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

No not at all.

girls can and often do make first move.

sometimes guys fail to notice the signs or actually bother to look in first place.

This first move applies to texts, asking on dates, etc.

basically girls can and should take the initiative.

TodsShadow · Answer

Usually being more honest and up front comes off as more sensible to a guy. It would be desperate if your texting him 24 times a day and he never responds. Also being upfront eliminates all the “what if’s “ and fears you may have while feeling nervous. Just make sure to pay attention to what he says as well, some people are full of shit and it gets easier to tell as you grow.

backseatsways · Answer

Women in their 20s even still don't text first or at all. I find that annoying as i'm nearing 30.
Like, i've never been messaged first, and especially in today's gender equal world, even women my age, i'm left scratching my head. No wonder so many single 20 year somethings in my generation.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course not! Why do women feel this way? It shows INTEREST, which is important as well. Think of it in the reverse. Pretend you were the guy, always having to text her first, you'd wonder if she had any real interest back wouldn't you? So do we.

It could only potentially come across that way (to some guys) if he has already rejected you, but you aren't taking no for an answer.

serious · Answer

No, of course not. I never mind it if a woman texts me first. Never. On the contrary I would appreciate her effort and courage.

I would see it as the woman being curious and I always appreciate curiosity.

jgokgotit · Answer

Absolutely not. To me it shows confidence. My first girlfriend asked me out.

IndieScent · Answer

Not at all and any guy who interprets it that way isn't worth your time

RingOfFire · Answer

I would say no, I don't necessarily see her as "desperate" although I do usually find it unattractive when a woman makes the first move.

ohshee · Answer

No not even it makes him smile because she saying hello to him how are you so it's showing that she cares enough to come say hi looking desperate does not even enter into the equation

HugoThe2nd · Answer

No. It makes her someone who is interested in me, which is a good start. Call me vain, but I like it when women make the first move. I like to feel special too, you know.

Avicenna · Answer

Not by itself, no. I actually look favorably upon it since it shows she is willing to take the initiative and it may indicate she’s a good communicator.

Helpmeplease10106 · Answer

Not at all girls can and should be able to do everything including texting a guy first girls should be equal to guys in every way possible at least that's what I believe

Marcozo · Answer

In general, to text first makes her brave respectful person.  Always better to be action not a reaction.

Anonymous · Answer

oh honey... you're only 16 and think texting first is a sign of desperation? i'm assuming you also don't "double text". it's all complete nonsense! so stupid. people text because they want to talk... isn't that whole point of texting?

spartan55 · Answer

I hope all pink users are paying attention to these results to end this stupid myth.

hellacray · Answer

Yup women should never text first.  In fact women shouldn't text men unless the man text them first.  Women can only respond never initiate.

noob__master · Answer

Text me first I love it means you are probably actually interested. Makes me more excited to text you being I don’t have to worry that you are just being “nice” and responding to MY texts

DarkCarousel · Answer

Some might view it that way but I think there's generally a positive response if she does.

AlysonM · Answer

That doesn't make her desperate, irrespective of the fact that we now have too many douchebags among men these dayz...

jmr2191 · Answer

Absolutely not. In fact, it takes a bit of the pressure off us!

certifiedalphafemale · Answer

If any man thinks that a woman texting first (sometimes) is desperate, then he isn’t the right person.

Dontaaa · Answer

No. Most likely that just means that she just likes talking to said guy. Desperation never comes to mind in my experience at least

humanearth · Answer

If anybody tests, their both loosers. Anyone ever sends a texted to me. I mean anyone. I will never call them again.

Mehzmeh · Answer

It doesn't. But remember most men are hunters. So they usually like to make the first move.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

it makes them approachable, friendly, and worth considering.

kitty71 · Answer

Some men do think it is. Like the guy I used to be attracted. he did not enjoy much me texting text him often, or cause it was like I ws bothering him

fonduegirl · Answer

It's not my problem none of the guys I text are good at it

watrewks · Answer

No lol. It helps to take away the guessing of what your cues mean lol.

jasco · Answer

Most girls usually want friends so I wouldn't be surprise if that were the case, I would be if it were anything else

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Nope a girl ain't desperate if she texts 1st cause a girl needs a man just like a man needs a girl so it doesn't matters who starts 1st

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

Not even in the slightest. In fact, we could use A LOT more women that did that.

kamalravi25 · Answer

Even if it does make you desperate, what's wrong in that.

larry69 · Answer

No it actually lets us know it is okay to approach you.

Asianguy123 · Answer

I think yes. I don't know what they think but they definitely look down if you do it again and again. It's best wait if you are serious about long term.

naraku · Answer

No, not at all. I would get confirmation she really is interested, plus it's kinda cute!

Anonymous · Answer

No, but a girls playing games is the biggest turnoff of all. Just be yourself and trust your gut.

Eric027 · Answer

It doesn't mean she's desperate... probably she just wants to friends or rather🤭🤭😏😏

friendzoned4life · Answer

No, it would be a miracle if it happened that a girl text first tho

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Not at all. Most guys would love to get a text from a girl they like.

awebee · Answer

No.. not at all.. It helps cut to the chase.. We need help.. lol

Clarke498 · Answer

No. Makes her be one step ahead of all the other girls.

Bean2thousand · Answer

Why, is there something wrong with being desperate?

bagarBilla · Answer

I think it's considered as desperate for both cases. And girls ( when a guy text firt ) think it that way ( mostly )

Anonymous · Answer

No. In this new false victim mindset and the hate of all things male, we welcome you to make the first move.

JesseCraft07 · Answer

Definitely not. Nothing wrong with a girl asking him out first, I prefer that. It's nice 🙂

visio9 · Answer

no, it shows the girl is not narrow minded. Only insecure girls play mind games.

Volkanmka · Answer

If a girl texts a man, this doesn't make the girl desperate

itsdeaaa_94 · Answer

No. But it is seen as an offputting behaviour by most guys.

Men, if a girl texts a guy first, does that make her desperate?

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