Does your boyfriend usually like being alone when he's depressed?

[Anonymous]

Every time my boyfriend is "depressed" he doesn't want to see me. You think he would because I'm his girlfriend...you would usually want to see someone that makes you happy. He never does. It's getting to the point where I don't know why am I still with him because when I'm upset, he's the person I want to see. I just called him up asking why he is still with me because when I try to help him, he shuts me down. He said I made things worse as well but depression does effect the people around you. I don't know what to do.

[pipman]

Men react in a different way from women when they are depressed. They need time by themselves, while women need to be listened, supported and cuddled. Women try to give men what make them feel better when they are depressed. They struggle to understand that men need to retire in their cave and re-find themselves to understand what is wrong and cope with it. When a man is in his cave he needs to know you are there, out and waiting for him. Try to be close to him but from far. Let him know you love him and you are worried for him. Write him very brief and not intrusive texts which may boot up his ego. Do not exceed though and reward him with happiness and smiles when he shows up again. At that point let him know how difficult it was for you to wait for him, how much you thought of him when he wasn't with you and how many times you fantasised of him. Don't break the contact with him, but be present almost invisibly in his life. He'll feel you warm support and when ready he'll come back and reward you for your dedication and patience.

[Anonymous]

I like being alone when I'm depressed. Some people just like to be alone for awhile to sort out their problems. If your boyfriend is depressed all the time that makes it hard to have a relationship though so he might want to figure out why he is depressed and do something to change it.

[selfishstars]

People cope with being "depressed" or upset in different ways. Some prefer to be alone, other prefer to have someone there to talk to and be comforted by. You can't assume that because you prefer something when you're upset or because certain things help to cheer you up, your boyfriend will want those same things.

Have a conversation with him. Tell him, "I know that we deal with being "down" differently and I've been trying to comfort you in the way that I want to be comforted, without asking you what YOU want. So, when you're feeling down, what would you like from me?"

And if he replies, "I just like being by myself." You can say, "I respect that. If you're feeling down, let me know and I'll give you some time to be alone. But if you ever need someone to talk to or to just sit or cuddle with, I'll be here for you."

And yes, my boyfriend likes to be alone when he's depressed.

[kristen_k7]

I know how you feel. My ex boyfriend ended things because he said he needed time alone and space because he was going through a lot but didn't leave out the possibility of us being together again. It makes it so hard because you're basically just waiting around and it hurts like hell. But I've learnt that guys really do just need their time. It's different for us girls and once we realize guys don't want to talk etc when they're down we'll be better able to deal with them :)

Just give him his space like he has requested.

[Asker]

Yeah, I know exactly how you feel because I went through the same thing with him.

[akkenny]

Im a guy and like suffering alone. Maybe its because the way I grew up and the way I'm trained for my job... to suffer in silence