Am I out of line?

[pabloofcourse]

So I’ve been talking to this girl for a year now and I’ve asked for a picture of her nothing crazy just a picture of her... she won’t send one but she will post on Snapchat then send me that same picture... am I wrong for being upset

[sugarchateau]

You have a right to be upset, but it won't serve you any good. Perhaps, she uses a filter and that is what is bothering you about her using snapchat? She might just be insecure, or she could be hiding something? I'm not sure.

[pabloofcourse]

She isn’t insecure and yeah she might use filters once in a while... I don’t mind the filters at all but I just want a picture meant for me not for every one else... if that makes sense

[sugarchateau]

Ah, that makes sense. Has she expressed that she likes you in return and desires to please you? I don't see why else she wouldn't do something personalized for you.

[pabloofcourse]

She has expressed that she likes me and cares for me but I don’t understand why she won’t send me a picture of herself just for me... she did it today and it’s my birthday and I told her wow not even on my birthday do I get a picture of you and she got mad says it’s not a big deal

[pabloofcourse]

And I treat her like a man should treat a woman and I get stepped on or taken for granted

[sugarchateau]

Real quick, i'd advise to try to avoid over giving so that you have boundaries for yourself, out of respect for yourself. Especially, if she is not giving equally in return and then you don't put yourself in the position to get stepped all over. Also, try not to expect anything in return when you do choose to give. That's always one quick way to experience feeling disappointment as people are generally very selfish by nature, as well as, imperfect.

Personally, if I wasn't interested in a man I wouldn't take the time or effort to send a personalized photo. It sounds like she may be leading you on because you do all this stuff for her without her having to do anything in return. It sounds like she didn't even ask for what you give to her, but you still continue to give. I believe both parties have responsibility in the issue. I'd suggest cutting her off, see if she over-extends for you. If she doesn't, drop her.

[pabloofcourse]

You know what that makes a lot of sense because I do give and give even when I’m upset with her or mad and she needs something I go without asking or saying anything... I know this is gonna sound dumb but I think she only keeps me around because I please her better than any of the guys before me I know this because she tells her best friend everything

[sugarchateau]

Take care of yourself first and foremost. We only got our own backs in the end. She didn't earn your forms of love. You can take responsibility that you gave her things when she didn't return the favor. I'd suggest stop leaving the ball in her court when she didn't earn the right. Take back control for yourself, stop giving so freely to her. You deserve better than that.

[pabloofcourse]

See I know this and I tell myself dude wtf are you doing if this was your friend you wouldn’t be telling him to leave but I don’t listen to myself

[sugarchateau]

Definitely listen to yourself, you get yourself through so much on your own and though you are capable of helping out others you need to take care of your needs first. You deserve to respect your own happiness by listening to yourself and your initial gut reaction.

[pabloofcourse]

Yeah I agree... she never acknowledges her wrong doing her go is I don’t want to speak to you right now and doesn’t text me like I did wrong

[sugarchateau]

It's tough when we get ourselves in those types of situations. It's good that you are talking about it and figuring this out now for yourself. Is this a typical relationship pattern that you experience? If so, it could be an attachment style that you have based off of how you were raised and that might be something to look into in order to figure out your own mind.

[pabloofcourse]

No this is the first time I’ve even felt this way which is crazy to me lol

[sugarchateau]

I've experienced unrequited love. Do you think this is unrequited love to you?

[pabloofcourse]

I don't know like I met her and she really didn’t give me the time or day I kept trying and trying never gave up and out of nowhere we started talking a lot more but I do like her a lot

[sugarchateau]

Maybe you really enjoy the chase? That is hard to come by.

[pabloofcourse]

But I’m tired of chasing but she doesn’t show me that she likes me like I like her lol all she really likes is the sex

[pabloofcourse]

And she has said it

[sugarchateau]

I'd honestly suggest pulling back to see what she does before you allow yourself to keep falling for her.

[pabloofcourse]

Yeah that’s what I’m gonna do it’s my birthday today and I’m gonna do something

[sugarchateau]

Happy birthday handsome!! Definitely treat yourself the best, like a king.

[pabloofcourse]

Hey funny thing is my nickname is king... thank you for the compliment you are nice sight to see as well

[sugarchateau]

Embrace that nickname, don't get off your throne for women who don't support and nurture you in return. <3 also, thank you <3

[pabloofcourse]

Gotta kill me before I let go of the throne lol... why can’t you be the one that makes me happy lol

[sugarchateau]

Unfortunately, we are only responsible for our own happiness. Happiness is a choice x) <3

[pabloofcourse]

Ok let me clarify myself why can’t you be the one who lives near me and be my queen lol

[sugarchateau]

Ahahaa! You're very sweet and very generous. I do appreciate your kind heart. Please promise me that you will make boundaries for yourself and don't allow yourself to fall for people that don't work as a team player with you (specifically with the gal we were discussing. lol). <3 <3

[pabloofcourse]

I’ll promise you if this whatever it is continues I will but if she doesn’t call me by the end of the night I’m done

[sugarchateau]

Good luck!!

[pabloofcourse]

Thanks

[Anonymous]

Dude, you have the patience of a saint !
After talking for a year and you have no idea what she looks like?
If she has still trust issues, get your butt out, cos she will never change.
She clearly deserves a dick pic

[pabloofcourse]

Lol dude you completely missed the information I’m talking about random pictures I’ve met her slept with her but in general

[Opinion Owner]

Nowhere did i read you have met her, or sleep with her, or am i mistaken?
Om Penpals sites people " talk" all the time with other people in different countries. That was my impression anyway.
She still has trust issues to not send you a pic directly.

[pabloofcourse]

I guess I didn’t make it clear lol sorry about that