I feel ugly after the break up?

[Anonymous]

I'm sad that I finally let go of my ex, but I also feel so ugly. He was my first boyfriend and I'm afraid no one will think I'm pretty again. I know it's not all that matters, but you know, I like feeling beautiful to someone. Even though during the relationship he did like teasing me by telling me which celebs he thought are hot (all of them who look nothing like me, usually blond, blue eyes, big t*ts). Sadly, I also went out last night and ran into some of his ex hook ups, who're also prettier than me and closer to his ideal.

I just feel that the way I look, I'm at a huge disadvantage, and prior to being with him, all guys called me ugly. At least I knew he thought I was pretty, or at the very least, that he saw beyond my face and body. I'm scared that he'll also find someone hotter, and think that he wasted so much time with an ugly girl like me.

I just wish I was just sad over the break up, without feeling ugly. I feel so down... I was also watching tv, video clips and stuff, and they showed a lot of pop singers which he thought were hot. It's stupid, but it was as if life was screaming at me "You're not good enough, you'll never be this pretty".

How do I get over this?

[love2help_help2love]

This makes me feel so sad reading this... sometimes being in a relationship you can lose yourself, your confidence levels drop, sometimes by sharing yourself with someone else you lose part of who you are. DONT EVER LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH! By the sounds of things, him making comments about other girls, celebs whatever, is just his own insecurities... by making you feel insecure in the relationship makes him feel more insecure. If he didn't want to be in the relationship with you he wouldn't have been, so regardless of what you think he thought of the way you looked he must have thought you were beautiful. And let me tell you this, I've looked at many a hot guy, thought they were the most gorgeous thing since Brad Pitt and it only took 5 minutes of them speaking for me to change my mind! Okay yeah, there has to be some initial attraction, but everyone views beauty in a different way, what one guy thinks is beautiful and sexy, another thinks is not and vice versa. I definitely find that someone's personality can completely change the way I look at them on the outside. My ex boyfriend for example... I hardly looked at him twice to begin with, okay he wasn't bad but definitly wasn't my type but as I got to know him and we hung out I fell for him in a big way and as I did I really started to fancy him and trust me, I'm really not saying this to make you feel better, this is really how I feel. Plus, any guy that is gonna go for you just for how you look (ie shallow) is not worth your time - someone who appreciates you as a person, your inner beauty as well as your outer beauty is far more precious. A good quote I always see is that you have to learn to love yourself in order for others to love you back - I think in a way this is true. It's hard, I lost all my self confidence once and felt like a nobody but you have to believe in yourself and put two fingers up to anyone that doubts you or tries to put you down - most of those people are only insecure themselves anyway. And finally before I bore you to death, you should listen to this song, it's not totally relevant but it's quite inspiring, it's by Baz Luhrmann and it's called 'The Sunscreen' - you may well have heard it before :) - now hold your head up high and go get em girl! x

[arsenal25]

you thinking you are ugly and sitting in self pity will not help you. You broke up, don't compare yourself to other girls, they might be pretty, but lack areas where you are great, humor, intelligence, well personality. There is something beautiful in every person, and someone will see that in you eventually. Feeling bad about appearance, what you need to do is go work out fat or skinny w/e it makes you feel good, change your diet and eat healthy. get a make over, do your hair, makes up etc. and go out and do things you like, may be not go out every weekend, I feel like after a break up you need may b need couple of weeks to reflect and just think of things you want in life now that you are single. Forget the guy, he is not the last guy that will find you attractive or want to date you. Just relax, breath and don't stress things too much, instead of finding faults in yourself find positive things, and fix things you don't like about yourself.

[CheckHerOutBruh]

How old is this BOY. I cannot imagine him teasing you like that. He's a jerk. Every has sex appeal, one guy will find you pretty, and you'll find love one day. A break-up can make you feel really bad, and you lose your self-esteem or confidence. It sucks, but just know one man's trash is another man's treasure, not saying you are trash, but somebody might have been thrilled you broke up, and wants to go out with you. Also, don't compare yourself to his exes and the girls he points out. I did that with my ex boyfriend, and I looked nothing like them, and I felt awful. It doesn't help. Just make yourself up to the best of your ability, and being beautiful has to come from within.

[CheckHerOutBruh]

Every girl*.

[liars_paradox]

You're right, BUT I'm wondering if her next boyfriend will be as good looking as the one the a**hole who used to date her - to her. Everyone has "sex appeal", or "every girl" as you put it, but "to whom?" is the question.

If she really is ugly and this guy can get better looking girls than her, then she might have to settle for someone less attractive.

[CheckHerOutBruh]

lol yea, that's true. but she should cross her fingers. There's somebody for everybody.

[Jvontae]

if you believe your ugly then thas how yuor guna feel not everybody thinks your ugly I mean some girls think I'm cute some ugly but I belive I'm cute nd it shows too I mean me and my girl jus broke up and I'm getting over it because I believe she ddnt deserve me and I don't date a lot but ima find better...wha your going through is in your state of mind you think it you believe it so it shows...stop thinkn this way your not guna get anywhere trust me I've been there...if you ned too go get sme new clothes work out take care of yourself you'll be alright trust me I'm 17 and I'm tellin you this...think it believe it show it besides who gives a sh*t wha people think if its that bigga deal thn they wudnt look and if they are lookin then hey your on there minds and lips lol get up and do what ths 17 year old sed do get clothes take care of your self work out wha ever you don't like change it because you don't like it not because they don't be you and be proud of who you are you confidence and good friends I'm pretty sure you got good friends have them help you find self confidence and guaruntee you dudes are guna b on you once you do all ths jus give it time and effort mama trust me on this one goooooooood luck lol

[liars_paradox]

Terrible grammar! It's hard to read what you said.

[liars_paradox]

But, what was it that he found attractive beyond your looks - if you're as ugly as you think?

It's apparent that your ex is an a**hole who wanted to be with you because he could control you through your self-esteem. You don't see that you can do yourself better than him, so you're less likely to leave him. This way he can do whatever he wants without fear of being dumped - at least that might've been his strategy.

You're better off without him. Some guy will find you attractive at some point. You have to hold yourself in higher regard than what you're doing. You really could be looking at yourself the wrong way and you might not be as ugly as you think.

But, if you really could look better, then just change it. If your problem is your weight then if you keep your weight at a normal BMI then almost all of your problems will be solved. It's not like your life is completely hopeless.

[slipslender]

i don't have any advice to give you. :/ I want to tell you that you ARE good enough, and that the right guy is out there, waiting for you...but I don't know if you'll believe me...if I could, I'd give you a hug...