Guys, why are you so repulsed by girls who play "Hard To Get", but then girls who are "Easy To Get" you call sluts?

Question

This question comes from a survey I did yesterday where a large percentage of the guys said that they are repulsed by girls who play hard to get.

(Ms Kim gave me the idea to ask this follow up question... thank you Ms Kim :) )

Here was yesterdays survey...

GIRLS, HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED "HARD TO GET"?

So if so many guys want nothing to do with girls who play hard to get, why is it then that the same guys will say that a girl that is "Easy To Get" is a slut? ... what am I missing?

I thought it was the girls that are suppose to be impossible to please? ... lol

Girls, what is your opinion on this topic please?

I thought we were the only ones that were suppose to be hard to figure out? ... lol

analyzingall · Accepted Answer

It gets tiring to chase girls or females that seem to show "us no interest and we are constantly chasing" give us a break and a clue you are interested at least. Life, and a lot of us are really busy and this digital age. Me for example, my life don't revolve around fb and that crap, I see my friends making posts and comments daily... I am a weirdo if I don't? I don't get that, I am remodeling a house, got kids a job and am building most things for my home by hand because I am that skilled... So I should babysit social media on a smart phone and chase, chase, chase, chase, chase... I have a lot to offer... Who has time for that shit? I am to a point I want to settle for "no woman due to this actually ", don't want some easy ho and ain't gonna spend my life chasing anyone constantly. at that point I will remain single, I have had tons of relationships in the past, and am in no hurry, nor care unless I know she is actually really interested in me and not the things I have to offer but me as a human being and who I am, what I like, what I like about women etc as each of us is a little different... SHOW US A LITTLE INTEREST. And generally I admire every aspect of what makes a woman and the entire female form, head to toe quite literally, afterrall you are a woman. If you women can't get over I admire every aspect of you, who cares-I know I would love that and sometimes that's all I hope for. We all have insecurities too even if not known and minor. So so what if a guy finds your toes and feet attractive to and also considers you from the toes up. You should appreciate he would admire you so much. Would everyone for you, or him. If he actually appreciates you that much, you should endorse it and indulge in it. And if you can't, it is your problem you can't find yourself attractive and or parts of you, the human body is beautiful, it is your own insecurities. Perhaps some women ought to investigate that and get over themselves. WANT TO DEAL WITH SOMEONE THAT ACTS REAL... WHERE ARE ALL THE REAL "LADIES" THESE DAYS?

cth96190 · Accepted Answer

In the environment that has been created by the legal changes that have been lobbied for (successfully) by the Feminists, no man who knows the law will invest any time or effort into the old-fashioned pursuit of a female.
To pursue a female who might be playing hard to get, opens the male to an education and/or career ending sexual harassment complaint.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2016/07/14/harassing-women-on-the-street-just-became-a-hate-crime-in-this-county/
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/07/13/nottinghamshire-police-becomes-first-force-to-record-misogyny-as/
https://www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk/news/national/17985302.pick-up-artist-jailed-targeting-women/
Today, a simple 'good morning' is sufficient basis for a sexual harassment complaint. I have seen it happen in the corporate world.
In some jurisdictions, such as Britain, law that was introduced on the pretext of countering catcalling has criminalised the act of a normal heterosexual approach by a male to a female.
So, the young man can approach the girl and risk losing his place at university and gain a criminal record for an Orwellian hate/thought crime that will render him unemployable for the rest of his life.
Or, he can order another pint, go home alone, jerk off and continue to have a future.
There is a global Feminist agenda to have that type of law introduced throughout the West.
When a simple 'hello' can result in the destruction of the man's life, how many girls do you think will be approached?
Enjoy your cats, meals for one and childless futures.

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

Hmm in your poll were you referring to sex or just getting acquainted?

Do guys really call women sluts for consistently open communication? Or are you asking about Sex?

I think it is too bad women give them the option.

Why play hard to get and date a guy who wouid good it against you if you didn’t. ( I don’t mean you.. I just mean general person 😊) That is very accommodating to people who don’t deserve it

I also think some men like hard to get some don’t and the ones who complain about it are not the ones calling women sluts if they don’t play hard to get. It’s possible it can just feel like guys talking out of both sides bc we call them a group called “ guys” but they are very different and I doubt it’s terribly common that the SAME guy is going to hate Games and think direct women are sluts. Some guys will sure , lol no help for crazy,🤦‍♀️ but not many.

nerms123 · Accepted Answer

I’m usually easy to get as long as I actually like the guy and I’ve never been called slutty or anything like that. Even when I told people I was sleeping around they would be like oh no you’re not a slut! Lol. I think sluttiness is seen as more of how a person dresses and behaves rather than actual sex. I think many girls dress or act “slutty” but barely have sex while some girls act and look prude while banging a whole lot of guys. The girls who SEEM slutty always get badmouthed while the prim and proper ones usually get praised. It’s not that cut and dry but that’s been my experience.

Aethereal · Answer

I choose "D". Because I think it's a big problem that we're doing a stupid dance around attraction in the first place. If I like a girl, and the girl likes me, why should we do this stupid dance where she pretends to not be interested, and I "hunt" her like a trophy I need to mount on my wall? I don't want a trophy, I want an equal partner.
If we both like each other, it should be easy and straightforward. I would never, ever think less of a girl for being clear with her interest in me. She is (hopefully) an intelligent human being who knows what she wants. Therefore, if she wants me, why do the stupid dance? Because it's socially convention? I don't give a damn about social convention. We are more important than that. Her ability to realize that fact makes her worth so much more than anyone else to me.
Playing Hard to get tells me with utmost clarity that the girl has no clue whatsoever what she wants, that she treats romance as nothing more than a game (and is thus unfit for a serious relationship), and that she is in fact more likely to be a slut than the girl who isn't playing games; because all any guy needs to do to get her is chase her and make her his property until he's ready to move on (no need for compatibility; all that is needed is the willingness to chase until she "gives in").
I personally take the search for love very seriously. Thus I cannot have any respect for a girl that thinks it is worth losing the chance at a potentially good thing just because she needs to play games first.

Got a little carried away there. Apologies if anything offends. It's just my opinion.

Finchie40 · Answer

A girl is only considered a slut to me if she sleeps with him and then she goes and hangs out with another guy right away basically not really showing anymore interest to me anymore For example , I am at a party , I meet this really beautiful girl. And we have instant connection., we end up making out and having sex , the next day or so I reach out to her and see how she is doing , ask her if she would like to get together but she is kind of hesitant and says she will call me soon etc.. I don’t hear back from her but I run into her at another party or at a store etc. With another guy. My instant thought is like damn she is a slut , don’t get me wrong guys can be sluts as well So this goes both ways , My thing is I rather her be my slut not anyone else’s if I have sex with a girl that means I really like her And hoping she likes me back the same , if she doesn’t then be upfront about it so the other person can move on but people don’t do that they leave the person hanging and them thinking wow that girl or guy was amazing and I really like them But that’s the challenge we play in life, Sp it doesn’t matter if the girl is easy only thing that matters is if she doesn’t have a reputation of having sex with multiple guys , trust me it sucks when you meet someone great and have instant connection and have an amazing night to find out. That a lot of other people had a turn with them also. It’s a kick in the ass. I had sex with this beautiful amazing girl I met at a party and then your friends say oh yea. So and so and so and so and so and so had sex with her also lol so their isn’t a reason to play hard to get just don’t have a reputation so if you meet someone great and you have sex with them fast make sure you try to see them again and again and eliminate all the other men out of your life and focus on the 1 you had sex with

God_of_Thunder · Answer

The problem with your premise is that you're only describing the two opposite extremes. Although, to be fair, most people don't articulate their desires clearly, so it's easy to assume those are the only two options.

Girls that play "hard to get" just come across as childish, and a waste of time. We don't want to put in all the effort, for precisely zero return. It makes us feel ignored, and unappreciated, and that hurts. Men do have feelings, too.

Girls that are "easy", on the other hand, are on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. We don't want a girl that just throws herself at us. That just implies that she does that to everyone, and we're just another guy; that we're not special, in any way.

Why do those have to be the only two choices? Most of us just want a "normal" girl. A partner, an equal. Somebody who genuinely enjoys being with us, and let's us know that she appreciates us, as much as we appreciate her. There shouldn't be any games being played, by either side.

Guys want to feel loved, appreciated, and special, just like women do. We just want somebody who's in between the two opposite extremes.

ChiTown33 · Answer

It's ok Laurie you just have a fundamental misunderstanding when it comes to guys. Guys typically do not like women that play hard to get that is true. But there's a difference between being easy to get and just plain easy.
This just simply means guys want a woman that's easy to understand, easy to talk to Etc.
There's nothing wrong with a woman making a guy work for her. In fact it's most advisable. But a guy needs to know he's actually getting somewhere. The problem is so many women are very bad at making this clear to guys.

Unit1 · Answer

Misogynists. I wonder why you women give them your time of the day or night.
They call women sluts for virtually any reason 🙄
Sleep with them - sluts (and get dumped shortly after).
Don't sleep with them - ugly sluts, that nobody ever wants.

"I thought it was the girls that are suppose to be impossible to please?"

I thought so too but seeing stuff like this it changed my mind.
Me personally, it's either on or you're not interested. There's no "maybe" for me in those regards.

Let the kindergarten overgrown kids do their thing. We adults have business to take care of.

Lliam · Answer

Hard to get: I prefer women who are genuine. I have no interest in women who play tactical mind games. If they are interested in me they should be honest about it and stop wasting time.

Easy to get: Could mean any number of things. It could mean that she will readily go out with a guy who likes her and whom she is attracted to. She might be interested in having sex, even after one or two dates, but only with someone who she would like to have a relationship.
Or she could be the kind of girl who will have sex with any attractive guy just for the fun of it.

I admire women who love sex and are sexually active. But I'm only interested in the form type that I described. I'm not interested in the latter. I suppose the word slut could be used to describe either men or women who aren't interested in relationships but just want to fuck anything that is available, the more attractive the better. They are thrill seekers, possibly shallow and/or antisocial.

mattdzz · Answer

First, humans are a bundle of contradictions. We want our cake and to eat it too.
Having said that, just to say it as plainly as possible, we want a girl who is (extremely) hard to get (for everyone else), but only slightly hard to get for us.
We want her to make us work for it, butttttttttt, not tooooo much, while also insisting she be far harder to get for anyone else, in the present and in the past.
However, there are many girls who play inconsistently in this game. A girl can make a guy (guy A) wait three months for sex, after a myriad of dates/ romantic gesures, but have hooked up with a guy (guy B) she met on tinder two weeks prior without even going on an actual date.
So, guys want girls to be consistent, embodying the often used phrase "I'm not that type of girl," and at the same time make him feel that he is the chosen one.

nathanp97 · Answer

Easy implies you can get them to have sex with you on a first date, while hard to get implies it is a struggle to get them to go on a date with you or even have a conversation at first. They aren't exactly opposites of eachother, so unless you can come up with how you are defining it you won't get good results. Based on how I defined it I would want either.

If want a girl who would say yes when I asked her out and was easy to talk to, but not someone who would want to have sex on a first date, because if she would with me she likely has with others.

TheLawAroundHere · Answer

Believe it or not. But this is remarkably simple.

Guys cannot see past the end of their dicks. So this simple creature sees (2) different options here. A. Easy, or B. Hard to get.

A. Easy. She falls over with her legs in the air. We conclude that she does that for everyone who asks. By the time our cocks get soft, we decide that this girl is not worth our time, attention, or money.

That is 70%accurate, by the way.

B. Hard to get. "Why isn't she blowing me yet", we think. Or "Why is this cock tease wasting my time? I an ME, for christ sake!". We get away from her to find a girl who know that a proper handshake isn't a handshake, at all. A suitable greeting for a man of my stature would be her putting my balls on her mouth. "THATS what i deserve!", we think.

Then, tragically and/or ironically, we stumble out into the night to find the town jizz jar.

The pattern repeats itself until, on average, age 32.

ankith10reddy · Answer

Easy to get
If a girl gets intimate with you, even if she has no idea about the guy or his character. It really signals that the girl has no standards. Which people refer to as "slut".

Hard to get
Even after a guy shares a lot of secrets that are private to him and he shows signs of respect, loyalty and trust. The women still play hard to get on purpose then it really signals that she is not interested in him.

So what guys actually like, someone in between these two. It's good for both men and women to have some standards. Get intimate with a person only when you know for sure that you can trust him/her. If you don't , then try to get to know the person your with.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I voted C.

She could be "DTF" within 5 minutes... or she might wanna wait til we've dated for 5 WEEKS. It's all the same to me really-- if I like her, I like her.

What I DON'T like is girls who "play games" as a tactic to ensnare men into "chasing" her. If she can't be honest about her feelings towards me, and plays stupid pointless games instead, then I'm naturally gonna just lose interest. I find fake drama unattractive and a sign of something wrong in her personality.

I'm always honest with girls I like, I expect as much in return.

Bandit74 · Answer

Some guys might like a girl who is hard to get in the sense that she has a low number of sexual partners and doesn't have casual sex, but most aren't interested in girls who act cold/disinterested.

Also the appeal is that she is genuinely and consistently hard to get, not just "playing". Like if a girl is acting modest and wants a guy to wait for sex, but he knows or suspects she has had sex with other guys pretty quickly/easily then he might lose interest. It doesn't mean he doesn't like hard to get girls, its just that he doesn't really see that girl as hard to get. Like sure technically she's hard to get for him, but if she was easy to get for others and that kinda ruins the appeal and is probably the least desirable scenario.

winterfox10 · Answer

It's not hard to figure out: we want a woman who makes us feel like she's actually interested in us, instead of playing coy. It shouldn't be hard to find a middle ground between sucking your guy off after the first date, and (in a poor attempt to play hard-to-get) trying to string him along indefinitely (because no woman ever knows when to stop) as he questions his sanity because you flip flop between giving him more affection than his Golden Lab, and writing source material for the next edition of CIA Black Site Interrogation Guidebook.

Jjpayne · Answer

Ok... there's a difference here. Hard to get is a girl that purposely makes it a challenge for men that try to court her. Easy to get is simply girls that normally dressed decide to give a guy a chance and see where it goes. A "slut" is a girl that dresses for the purpose of sexual attention, it's not easy to get but more like sexually available... Let me gather some pics

TonyMetal_1986 · Answer

Easy to get doesn't make her a slut and hard to get also doesn't make her a saint.
A girl should be decent, polite and know where to draw the red lines.

She doesn't need to play the hard to get game, she needs to be easy with a man, if he likes her and she likes him she must treat him the way he treats her, now when it comes to kisses, hugs or even sex, she is the one to draw lines, she can be easy going and funny and go with her boyfriend in a date but when it comes to sex, she can tell him that sex comes after marriage or that he cannot touch her private parts... etc.

I support every girl who wants to wait after marriage.

JSmuve · Answer

Probably because girls don't know *how* to play hard-to-get. I wrote a take on it years ago

CarpetDenim · Answer

I’ve never played hard to get with a guy, and I’ve never been anything but straightforward and direct about what I want and how I feel about them. Personally, I haven’t received criticism for that and no one has ever called me a slut for it. I’m not sure why they would.

RHK36 · Answer

Why is there no grey area? So you assume for men we can't have a middle ground. Yes it's stupid to play hard to get because that's playing games. I don't call a girl a slut, but if one is easy that is slutty.

These same types can be applied to men as well. If a guy plays hard to get that is dumb. If a guy is easy to get, that can be perceived as slutty.

I prefer something more like I want to get to know you without worries of someone playing games and just letting it play out organically. There shouldn't be any pressure to get physical or feel the need to trick someone into thinking you aren't available.

Passinggas · Answer

" so repulsed by girls who play "Hard To Get?” NO, but I just don’t put a lot of energy into it. “"Easy To Get" you call sluts?” No, I prefer these women and we hit it off well. I actually fall for the easy-to-get ones because it seems natural to me. I even still developed some feeling for an ons that I only saw once. I fall for them, it is natural to want to mate, I just think they are sexually-mentally healthy without games. I appreciate that.

prasanp · Answer

I don't have time to waste on girl who is playing hard to get since I don't care as its big turn off from start. I don't think girl playing easy to get is slut either; Slut are slut but certainly slut won't stay on one place for much longer same goes for any playboy. For simplicity lets focus on girl only, assuming a boy is good. Easy to get girl who plays have to have one thing that must be to call anyone slut , that is obvious, keep changing the partner or playing with easy to get with third person despite being in relationship. I hope you got some idea what I want to say. those who play easy to get may be just someone who want to get hurry in relationship and those who play hard to get is most likely just wasting other people time.

Guys, why are you so repulsed by girls who play "Hard To Get", but then girls who are "Easy To Get" you call sluts?

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Guys, why are you so repulsed by girls who play "Hard To Get", but then girls who are "Easy To Get" you call sluts?

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