Why does she avoid me now but still stares a lot?

[Jameshetfield_lion]

There's this girl that has been staring at me in the grocery store I always go to. She's been staring at me for months. First I never paid any attention to it but I noticed that she just kept staring. She'll stare at me from far away the most. Close she ignores me. So my friends told me just talk to her.

A month ago I was talking to a friend and she was basically standing next to me and staring at me. It felt like she was also listening to me.. later I approached her. I was looking for something and she works there, then why not ask her? When I approached her she got happy and it felt like she was waiting for me to talk to her.

later she was done working, I was outside. She walked by and said hi. Had another small talk but I got nervous. She even wanted to put her bike aside. The day after that my friend and I bought something and she was there again, not working. She was there with her Father. We both didn't say anything. My friend noticed that she looked really shy when she walked by. But when we got outside other friends were waiting and one of them is a girl. She probably saw me talking to that girl. Ever since then she kinda ignores me.. She also gets really nervous when I come closer. So my friend said: she is waiting for you to make a move cause she's shy. I gotta be honest I avoided her a few times as well in that store cause i'm shy.

Talked to her again and asked her how she was, she asked me the same. She talked kinda soft and quietly. She also laughed at something I said which wasn't even so funny. I also said her new hairstyle looks good. She started laughing in a shy way. when I asked her for fun if she recognized me she said, I don't think we really know each other (in a friendly way with a smile) so I told her my name. She doesn't seem shy to other people. The moment I walk in, she stares at me. Today she actually avoided me. She did look at me but when she came walking my way she quickly walked to the other side. I don't know what to think :/

Updates

+1 y

I talked to her. She was kinda nervous and it felt like she didn't want to talk. Long story short.. I told her that I like her and would like to get to know her better and that i'm shy... She started smiling, blushing and looked kinda shy.. She didn't say anything the first few sec. She then said she found it super sweet of me. Then became silent again. Then said "I already have someone.. sorry". I don't know exactly what I said but then I left and said we'll see each other in a friendly way. :(

[AmanoYin]

This is classic.
She likes you, she's shy, and you're dumb.

Ask her out. Be yourself Don't try and impress her with stupidity. The goal of asking her out is getting to know her and letting her get to know you. You're obviously shy yourself and since you can't change your personality over night, and faking being cool is obvious... tell her you are nervous and shy too because she's so beautiful or cute, which ever you think she is. This will relieve tension in both of you. Then ask her out somewhere nice where you can be yourself. If you have a good mom, ask her what she'd like on a first date. If you got a good dad, ask him what mistakes he made. They're probably willing to pay for your date too.


Just do it. Think about it all day, know you will fuck up and do it anyways.

Don't be a Bitch.

[sensible27]

Actually helpful advice. Lol, see that.. we do get something useful once in a while, lol.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

I talked to her. She was kinda nervous and it felt like she didn't want to talk. I asked her if she had time to talk, She didn't. So I asked what about after you're done working? She said she also had no time after work. So I said well then i'll have to tell it fast now. First I talked about something we talked about earlier which was something we both laughed about earlier.. Now she barely laughed. She looked serious and nervous :( I didn't want to tell her in that store cause there was a co worker pretty close. But I told her I like her and I would like to get to know her better. I also said that i'm shy... She didn't know what to say that's what I could tell. She started smiling, kinda blushing I guess and just shy. Like she used to. She said that she found it really sweet of me to tell her... But she said "I already have someone... sorry". That moment I just died. I'm heartbroken.. I like and love her so much... I just don't buy it. It kinda felt like she made it up. Cause her social media has nothing of a post or pic or even a comment of a boyfriend.. Nothing. Her facebook literally says she's single.. I don't want to forger her... I want her :(

[sensible27]

Hope it works itself out dude...

[Jameshetfield_lion]

What can I do now? I mean she clearly showed signs of liking me now that I look back... I just don't get it.

[sensible27]

Maybe you came on too strong, people who go/come on too strong spead themselves too thin. Go slow, go with the flow. You seem hormonal, females don't really like the idea of that and lust.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

Yeah I just don't know.. even my friends don't get it. They are all sure she still likes me because some of them saw how shy she looked around me.. and the other things she did. They now said "if it's really true that she has someone she could still like you.. She didn't really say no or really reject you so she does like you". I just feel heartbroken.. My feelings are so strong for her. And she's the one that actually looked at me first. Maybe I waited too long... I'm lost :(

[sensible27]

Just wait, okay? Don't get emotional or go on too strong okay... You're gonna scare her away, maybe give it sometime. Do what you normally do, go to the store. But don't force her into it, maybe your friends are right maybe she didn't want to say yes in the moment. I repeat move slowly, don't do anything irrational. That's all, I am not sure if I can add much more value.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

Thanks man! I'll give it some time.. I can't forget about her and it would be a waste if she later on does want me.

[AmanoYin]

Unlucky. There are a few women that are super shy like that... not many. 99% of the time they like you.

She probably finds you attractive but has a boyfriend so never made a move.

[AmanoYin]

Feels good to take the leap and be able to realize you can survive rejection and ask out anyone right?

There's this guy on YouTube called charisma on command, check him out.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

Isn't it also possible that she does like me even if she has someone? Which I don't know for sure. And maybe if she has someone, that they aren't together for so long.. Or that I waited too long and she maybe thought I wasn't interested so she moved on.. I get it, so many things that could be the reason. But I actually think you were right about her liking me... Even the people around me say so. Maybe I really should've made a move earlier.. cause as I said, when I told her that I liked her she started smiling, looked shy etc. And she didn't say she wasn't interested. She said she has "someone". And the way she said it sounded so... I don't know, like she didn't like telling me she had someone now.. She also said she was sorry.. And no i'm not trying to make it sound better then it really is... I'm telling you what I felt and noticed.. plus she didn't say "I have a boyfriend". She just said "I have someone"... Something like that, I can't remember exactly but it sounded like it's someone she started dating recently.. And were we live (I'm from Europe) it sometimes means that a person is only "dating" or close to that but not in a relationship (yet). Anyway, I will still try to talk to her from time to time. Maybe she will change her mind. Cause after all we barely know each other and maybe it was too fast or too awkward for her since there were other people around.. And yeah I love her.. That's clear I think haha..

[AmanoYin]

I agree. Be Casanova if not, there's more fish in the sea... she probably isn't the only one who likes you at this very moment.

If you want proof.

Go look women in the eyes confidently. Watch for their reaction.
If you can't do it confidently, go stare at a picture of a lion, imagine having a stare down with one.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

Yo thanks for the reply. Hate to ask it, but do you have advice? Like what can I do. Should I avoid her for a few days or just talk to her again? Or maybe adding her on snapchat.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

Nvm. Imma leave her alone for now... added her on snapchat. She then said she was clear to me. She asked me to leave her alone and no longer to talk to her... She says she's starting to feel very uncomfortable. She really played with my feelings... She clearly liked me. Now she doesn't even want me to talk to her again. Wouldn't surprise me it's because she has someone now...

[jakerson181]

She sounds like she's shy. If you like her, ask her to have coffee. If she says no, then you know for sure.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

Yeah i'll ask her tomorrow probably. I've wanted to ask her out way earlier but everytime something comes in my way.

[DavidHart]

i believe she's on the verge of not able to hold her emotions any longer.
That's why she's trying to get u out of her mind.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

I don't want that.. I like her a lot
:(

[DavidHart]

So confront her and invite her for a drink.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

Yeah i'll ask her to do something tomorrow. Just sucks that i'll have to talk to her while she's at work but oh well. It's worth it.

[DavidHart]

For the updated story in which she said :
"i already have someone",
if it is the truth, then she is in dilemma because she likes u more.
if it's not the truth, she's trying to avoid u.
if i were u, one last question i would ask her is :
"do u want me to keep pursuing u or not?"
or
"can we discuss about this?"

[Jameshetfield_lion]

Honestly you could be right... But I don't know man.. my friend said you could still add her on snapchat so I did. I send her a snap... She replied and said "I don't know how you found my snapchat, but I think I was clear in the store. I really wanna ask you to leave me alone and no longer try to talk to me or contact me. Also not your friends.. I'm starting to feel very uncomfortable". Something like that... If course that hit me in my heart but for some reason I have doubts if she really means it or if it's really her or someone else talking for her.. It doesn't explain why she first seemed like me and now she doesn't? She says I no longer should talk to her, she literally came up to me before all this... And another funny thing.. She says my friends shouldn't try to contact her or something like that. As far as I know none of my friends have send her a message.. This morning right after I send her that snap, I got a random follow requests by some girl... that requests was gone in like a minute or so... later on today I was like wait a minute... I remembered the name of the girl who requested to follow me. I checked my crush's friend list on facebook... and yup.. that girl is a friend of her. Funny how she doesn't want me or my friends to contact her but literally she and her friend are checking my social media and i'm sure that request was by accident.. because it was gone within a minute or so. And I don't remember deleting that request... Which I think clearly shows she does care. And for some reason I still have a strange feeling about the "I already have someone" thing... She only said that. Not that she wasn't interested in me or didn't like me.. it's a strange situation. She acts like she doesn't want anything to do with me yet she and her friends are pretty much stalking my social media.

[DavidHart]

With things u said, i think it's now the time for u to be like 'ignore' her even though not totally.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

Yeah man I agree, I should ignore her. But what do you mean with not totally? And after what I just told you, what do you think is happening or what's wrong with her? I mean the fact that she hasn't even blocked me on social media and her friend (s) are checking my social media (she probably does the same) pretty much shows she clearly cares I think..

[DavidHart]

"what's going on with her" is a question we men better not discuss because women are complicated.

However my meaning "ignore her but not totally" is i actually suggesting u to pretend like all of this never happened.
Just go back (of your memories) to where u and her really don't know each other.
Just treat her normally back in the store.
Smile and treat her just like u used to.
Outside the store, ignore her.
Don't even look at her.

[DavidHart]

While u are doing this (my suggestion),
if u bound into other girl (s) which are interested in u
(and u are also into the other girl too of course),
take the opportunity.
i really mean like u and her got nothing to do anymore, just forget her.
u are treating her as common human being.
Treat the other girl as a person u are trying to know.
Your attention has now switched.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

Thanks for the advice! I'll use your advice. I still hope things will work out between her and me tho.. after all, she did like me cause it was too noticeable now that I look back.

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
Wish the best for you.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart I was in the grocery store with a friend yesterday... she was there trying her best to act like I wasn't there. But she fails... I was talking with my friend about lots of funny things, we both laughed and I ignored her like she wasn't there haha.. She then walked by 2 times... but like really close. Definitely on purpose... She looked so awkward but oh well... i'm just having fun talks with my buddy. And outside was even more funny... We were just standing/sitting outside the store just talking... She was done working and came outside... When she walked by I literally turned my head to another direction... My friend then noticed that she looked very sneaky at me...

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
Nice one, dude.
Your tactic is on the spot.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart Got another small update... saw her again yesterday. Didn't really expect her to be there but oh well... When I walked in I didn't really see her looking but she probably did already see me before I even noticed. I then noticed that she was clearly looking at me but in a sneaky way to be honest.. She looked away quickly after she saw me looking back.. But I do the same and just try to ignore her. I then had a phone call from a girl I know so I was just talking on my phone while walking in the store and she then bumped into me... Like seriously we both walked into each other and we both looked each other right in the face/eyes. But both of us quickly looked away and kept walking... Of course I was also calling with someone. But yeah she's clearly keeping an eye on me... and the fact that she still wants to look at me and this time didn't try to avoid me or avoid looking at me surprised me... I mean we both literally looked at each other. I hope soon she will come up to me and talk to me... And yeah I could also talk to her but I don't think now is the right time.. But on the other hand, I still wonder what's on her mind... Maybe she no longer has that someone? If there even is another person. The fact that she does all this and that so many people can tell she clearly likes me... obviously now I notice it too.

[DavidHart]

i believe that her someone does not even exist.
it is just a made-up story.
u got this.
Keep holding yourself.
i wish luck will be on your side.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

Thanks for the help/support man! I also have my doubts if she really has someone at this point... something is going on... She clearly likes me but why doesn't she just tell me she feels the same cause she clearly does, not to be full of myself cause i'm not. She just acts strange.. And I still don't understand her text from a week ago... She said she was clear but actually she really wasn't. She didn't say that I shouldn't talk to her again. All she said is "I already have someone" which is probably made up.. maybe it wasn't even her who send me that text but a friend of her. I seriously don't know at this point.. i'll keep doing what i'm doing now, maybe I could say Hi to her again from time to time. Maybe she'll come up to me very soon

[DavidHart]

i support your plan to say "Hi" to her from time to time.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

Ah good to know. I'll say hi to her when I see her again. Maybe she'll even be ok to talk to me

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart Wanted to give this update yesterday but I was too tired. Well so yeah I saw her again yesterday, she walked out of the storage and saw me. She then walked on the other side of the hall I was walking. I saw her looking through the shelves on her side while she was walking, like she was looking for me. The thing is, I was on the phone with someone so I try not to pay much attention to it. I then saw her walking from a distance and she looked right at me. And she walked by when I was about to pay for my stuff. Outside was another thing, I was still calling with a girl i'm friends with and I thought I saw her looking at me from inside (she used to do that all the time so it wouldn't surprise me) when she was done I saw her coming outside, kinda checking if I was still there I think. She was busy putting music in her ears. Since I was calling I thought f#ck it just look at her now so I did. She looked kinda straight forward with that awkward kinda face but she definitely looks at me from the corner of her eye, even tho you don't see it you just know it haha. Honestly if I wasn't on the phone I would've said hi.

[DavidHart]

i like the way u go through this thing.
u're ON it, Bro.
Keep it up.
i will always cheer u on.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart Hey thanks man!! I appreciate the support and will keep you updated! And honestly, why would she do all this if she didn't like me? Lol

[DavidHart]

there's possibility she's feeling insecure about herself.
Or maybe he is in doubt about u.
That's the reason u have to one day seat with her to discuss about this if i may suggest.
Your ultimate goal are suppose to ""have discussion with her" in order to understand each other.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart Yeah true that. Should I try to talk to her or let her come to me? I don't know if she really has the balls to do so.. But one thing is for sure, the ignoring thing works fine and clearly shows that she does like me. I think it now even becomes more clear.. today she looked at me again. I didn't even pay as much attention to it now since I was with someone. But he then waited for me outside cause I had to call someone.. so while I was talking on my phone I walked around in the store, I then came close to her but since there were lots of people I couldn't really walk another way.. well yeah maybe I could if I waited but f*ck that. She normally walks by without looking (or at least trying not to look lmao) so now it was my turn. I really didn't look at her. I literally ignored her. I was also still calling so yeah.. but it felt like she did look at me tho when I walked past her. And when I was on my way to the exit I saw her walking to the front of the store but while she was walking she was looking at my direction. I didn't know if she saw me or was just looking at whatever there was to see since it was from a little distance. So what I did was look away and then look again and she was still looking.. now I could easily tell she was looking at me. Man I can't wait for the day she'll finally tells me that she does like me.. I wonder if she maybe regrets what she said.

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
Or maybe u can be bold by saying directly to her..
"Hey, it might be my imagination, but i kinda notice that u have been looking at me quite frequently,
u got something to tell or want to ask me?
u wanna talk?"

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart Sounds good. But what if she starts to deny that she looks at me and doesn't want to talk? It wouldn't surprise me. Hard situation... I think i'll just say hey when she's done working and try to talk to her.

[DavidHart]

Regardless of what her answer is,
(except if she said yes)
u can just say
"No worries, but i'll be having a coffee/drink at
Starbucks, 6pm tomorrow [example only],
u may come to meet me there if u want to say or discuss anything.
i'll wait for 15 minutes, and leave afterwards".

About the venue and time of meeting,
u know better.
i would suggest on her off day.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart This is a hard situation lmao. I walked in today she was pretty much busy by the entrance of the store. But I was in a very bad mood... My dog died today so I was pissed and sad all of that. So I saw her there but what I did, I looked pretty angry/serious so I walked right past her with my face straight forward. She immediately took a few step away the moment I walked in but I had a feeling she did look at me tho, especially after I walked past her, she probably turned around. When I got outside, I was smoking a cigarette and basically trying to get my head empty since our dog passed away... I saw her looking at me from inside the store for a few times. I then had a phone call so while I was calling I saw her looking at me again from inside. She then was talking to one of her coworkers so I was like "oh no..." while she was talking she kept looking at me but I didn't see her coworker looking at me... when she got outside she had music in her ears and I was still smoking. She walked past me without looking. And of course she had that awkward face again... And obviously she tried to ignore me by not looking but she 100% looks at me from the corner of her eye. What do you honestly think of this lol? I wouldn't mind talking to her but not when she's working. And outside depends if she has music in or not... Oh and I think her older sister likes me as well. (I used to like her older sister before all of this actually)

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
nice episode..
it shows to her that u are also a human with feelings.
Keep it up..

Anyway, i feel sorry for your lost.
Hope u will be in the mood again sooner.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

Thank you. Yeah this almost sounds like a tv show... I kinda hate her behavior. Like be honest or go... If she didn't like me she wouldn't look so much.. She's not being honest that's for sure. I really need to talk to her again... hopefully it won't cause more drama. Also I could tell you about her sister if you wanna know more.. she acts kinda the same but even more obvious I guess lmao

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart I just found out she blocked me on snapchat. But I don't know if she already had me blocked since I send her that snap weeks ago or she blocked me today. I got a new phone... this morning our chat was still there. Later today when I got my new phone, our chat was gone and i'm no longer able to find her account. But she hasn't blocked me on instagram or facebook. And I haven't seen her since Friday. And haven't talked to her for weeks now. Friday she actually didn't look so mad or awkward and she was staring a lot so yeah. Time to really talk to her again

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
makes me wonder too for her behaviour..

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart Bro i'm so confused now. Today when I was inside the store she didn't really look. But when I got outside to smoke a cigarette and to text one of my friends she looked right at me from inside. She kept doing this even when she's busy. I then saw her coming outside when she was done and she looked very very sneaky with her eyes through the windows. When she got outside, she had to walk past me.. She had no music in her ears and wasn't calling anyone! What a wonder. But she didn't look at me. She looked angry/upset. Like one week ago she didn't look so mad and now she looks mad again. On the other hand, yesterday I was with a female friend and my brother. My crush's sister was there (who also seems to like me it seems) she gets jealous when she sees me with this girl. Maybe she told my crush that she saw me with another girl? I don't know what to think anymore. I also thought I saw a female friend of her driving by on a scooter this evening.. she stopped when I was about to cross the street close to my home and she started calling someone. I recognized this girl from a picture but I still don't know it was 100% her. But when I kept walking she was already driving and I heard her talking loud. I don't want to become all paranoid but I just had a weird feeling about this. Since another female friend of her was looking on my instagram weeks ago. It wouldn't surprise me... Sorry to bother ya man. I just feel like most people don't believe me or understand me.

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
once in a lifetime experience.
Let's face it like a man. 💪🏻

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart Something funny happened.. last Friday she walked really close to me. I checked to see if she had no other choice but she clearly could've walked other ways but she just had to walk really close to me. She had her head turned to the other side. And she kept looking at me when I was talking to someone outside. Maybe it sounds weird but I just feel that and when I looked I saw her looking/moving around so she clearly was looking.

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
ever thought of saying directly to her face,
"i've noticed u have been sneaking on me a lot,
u wanna talk?"

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart honestly I think that's a good idea. I could try that.. thanks!

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart Hey man, same thing happened today. She saw me and decided to walk past me. I paid attention to it and she didn't have to be where I was. In fact she could've taken a faster way to where she had to be. And of course she walked nervous around, taking glances at me. I still haven't had the chance to talk cause there are either way too many people around or I feel uncomfortable

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
may i suggest if u write it down on paper/notes,
and just give it to her?

[Jameshetfield_lion]

I feel stupid to ask but what should I write down? What she's doing or

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
the same thing previously planned..
"i've noticed u have been sneaking on me a lot,
do u wanna talk?
i'll wait for u at (place name) on (day & time).
if i don't see u in 10 minutes, i'll leave."

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart Hey man. I Still haven't talked to her cause I haven't seen her or the timing was bad. Today was her birthday... I wished her a happy birthday by sending her a dm. Guess what? She blocked me. I don't think I have a chance with her anymore :(

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
if i were u, i definitely will not wish her birthday,
instead i will just give her a small present when paying for my groceries to her and then i'll say
"happy birthday" and then leave.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart Isn't it too late for that now? I just don't know anymore

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
since i have no idea, maybe it's a appropriate time to call it off..
at least for awhile.
Let's get to another girl instead, shall we..

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart I agree, thank u for your help!

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
u are most welcome, buddy.

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart Hey man! Been a while... Nothing has really changed. I actually haven't seen her for almost 2 months till today.. and I probably know why she acted so weird. Her older sister... she said bad things about me. That's also the reason she blocked one of my IG accounts. Last time I saw her I had to ask for something and she answered.. Anyway so after 2 months of not seeing her I figured out she no longer works in that supermarket I always go to. Today I went to another one and yeah there she was. At first I didn't even see her (she also has to wear a mask) but I saw this blonde girl (I believe she looked at me) So literallly I was like wait a sec... I looked again and yup it was her. Maybe I should've said something but meh I was already kinda nervous that I saw her again after like 2 months. I'm not over her I have to be honest.

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
Take your time and clear your mind.
👌🏻

[Jameshetfield_lion]

@DavidHart Honestly I don't wanna sound like an idiot but recently i've been feeling really positive about the situation. What I mean by that is that everything will be fine with her since I believe in it. I know she had interest in me and liked me.. Gotta be honest, today I went to that supermarket with a friend on purpose. She noticed me pretty fast. I caught her looking at me.. but I wasn't the only one who noticed. My friend did too.. Infact more times, he told me that she also stopped walking when she saw me. I didn't really pay attention to that. She was busy not too far away from us but I definitely knew and saw that she was looking at me. I really should've talked to her or said Hi. I wonder if she still has feelings for me and if she thinks about me.. What do you think?

[DavidHart]

@Jameshetfield_lion
Saying "hi" wouldn't hurt, i believe..
Might wanna invite her for a coffee (chat) after she finishes her shift too, i guess..

[sensible27]

Knock knock she likes you and
Is
Shy

[JPrez]

Maybe she has a boyfriend?🤷‍♂️

[Jameshetfield_lion]

That's what I also thought at first but no she's single. My friend follows her on IG and there's no post of a boyfriend. Not even in her comments. And her FB says she's single.

[JPrez]

Must be very shy.