Girls who need validation from friends?

[DRudiger]

Why do girls feel the need to seek approval from their friends if a guy is attractive or not? I don't see guys doing this. It's happened a few times to me. Where I would catch a girl eyeball me then turn to her friend and ask for their approval and see if she thinks I am "cute" or whatever word they use to signify if I am attractive.

Like when I walked into my science class, and I walked past one girl who was amongst her friends and she said "hi!" so I said "hi" and walked to grab my seat, and then I over-hear her sending her friend up front to check me out and report back to her on whether or not she thinks I am cute or not. And once she has the seal of approval, she then decided it was okay for her to proceed to the front of the class and sit next to me so she can start a conversation with me. But I immediately shut her down and told her to go away!

Because she literally p***ed me off, with all her dramatic nonsense!!

[btbc92]

Oh, that is very easy to ask all of these questions and the solution to those problems:

1. "Why do girls feel the need to seek approval from their friends if a guy is attractive or not? I don't see guys doing this." PLENTY of guys do it, had it happened to me a LOT. Hence why I don't like modern dating and never dated. ^^ The problem is not her friends, it is who you accused. You did the right thing. You don't want those types of girls anyway. They are the type that would cheat on you or leave you if you're not attractive anymore. But again, guys do the same as girls equally. We are just the rare bunch. I don't agree with it. Judging him for other things like his past history, reputation, standards, fine. Judging a person for their appearance alone which they are born with? Shallow! Tell them NEXT!

2. "It's happened a few times to me. Where I would catch a girl eyeball me then turn to her friend and ask for their approval and see if she thinks I am "cute" or whatever word they use to signify if I am attractive." Those are ditzy chicks. Don't pay them any mind like I no longer pay attention to such guys. Their jerks. Good thing you caught them and her. Avoid at all costs.

3. "And once she has the seal of approval, she then decided it was okay for her to proceed to the front of the class and sit next to me so she can start a conversation with me." Glad you caught up with the slick games women and guys play. BRAVO!!! Great self-awareness! Now you know what a toxic woman is. You don't befriend them, or DATE THEM.

Just understand that all of us have been taught this to get the opposite sexes' attention. But understand that it is toxic, selfish and wrong and this is how relationships and marriages FAIL big time. Much respect, man! We need more guys like you around. I wish I could give you a high five for that one. Well deserved for somebody like that and her friends.

[DRudiger]

Oh wow, thank you for the great explanation. And I can't really say that I am surprised that guys do this too. Have you seriously never dated anyone in your life?

[btbc92]

Yep. It's not worth the hell. It's not like the bible days anymore. everything is sexuallized today, nobody wants to do it God's way anymore, hardly anybody waiting for marriage, want to marry Young, don't watch porn or mastuabte and I don't want any part of it. This world is backwards.

[btbc92]

Plus I've done so much and accomplished so much by myself, and have a distinct and deal with all that brings nothing but anxiety, pain and heartache. I don't mind dying alone. But I refuse to live with such regrets. People today is extremely selfish and they don't even treat you like a person anymore.

[btbc92]

Just don't be shocked thay this is how most of these women are today around the world. Guys included. But men are far worse not trying to be biased. So guys like you are extremely a rarity.

[DRudiger]

I agree with everything you said, the society we live in is over-sexualised and based on visual. But there are men out there who are pious as you, they do exist. Although I agree that it can be like finding a needle in a haystack. But it would be worth it in the end.

[DRudiger]

And thank you. You are far too kind. You seem very intelligent and self aware. And have not been brainwashed by the media. Which I commend you on.

[btbc92]

Oh I knoebtgey exist. I'm friends with such guys. But for me I am just done. I have no interest in such relationships anyway and I realize that I'm okay without it. But I pray f0r others to find happiness. Others don't deserve my baggage. Thanks, and to you as well. :)

[DRudiger]

Yeah I might be the same. I don't believe in true love any more. Our perception of what is attractive in the opposite gender is warped by apps like Tinder which is all just visual. And has brainwashed us into believing that love begins with someone's looks. But we won't be young and beautiful, one day we will get old and wrinkly and then what, you can't base your relationship on the person's sexual appeal any more.

[DRudiger]

I mean we won't always be young and beautiful. One day we will grow and old and wrinkly.

[btbc92]

No, don't get that one wrong. True love does exist but it exists within YOU. You can never seek that from other people. That's why self-love is important, or else god forbid you'll end up like that chick. Begging for other's attention and sexual validation. But you must be realistic about love. It's beautiful and all, but again, you must be practical about it. Once you understand this, then your feelings, emotions, etc fall into place. Romance is a friendship and a partnership. And the love you share helps to elevate that relationship and grows into something more. Sex now becomes the product of that love when you consummate that in a marriage. You need friendship. And if that friendship isn't true, then that person is not your friend. And if they cannot be a real friend, why have them for a lover? That's what people are forsaking and missing just for immediate pleasure and sexual gratification.

[HollyK21]

Some girls seek approval more than others, but I do feel like both sexes are guilty of feeding into this stigma that who you’re interested in should be visually attractive to other people. So many seeking love want their partner to be the trophy, the guy/girl that everyone swoons over. Honestly I feel like those people lack self confidence to an extent, because it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Yet guys/girls will ghost a person they were previously interested in when they’re deemed “not attractive enough” in some form, by a group of friends who are 9/10 single themselves. It’s all toxic in a huge way and I feel that those who are so concerned with others opinions would be so much happier if they just stopped seeking approval.

[pajamasam]

Guys do the same thing we are just silent about it. Think about it.

You just got a new girlfriend and she's coming to the cook out to meet the boys. Your excited for then to meet her but also kinda nervous. You invite fix her a burger and hand it to her and she says "I'm vegan" and your boys make a face and give you a strange look, now your worried your guy friends think your girlfriend is weird. It hurts, you secretly wanted their approval.

Everyone does it. We want someone to approve of our romantic choices because we want to know if we can do better or not. Its a check on our standards. A friend will tell you "hey she's a keeper" or dude, you can do so much better.

Its the same thing when girls ask their friends if they find a giy cute.

[DRudiger]

Yeah you're right. We all seek validation from others, even for materialistic belongings.

[pajamasam]

Doesn't mean we should seek validation, but we all do.

[Avicenna]

Because many are socialized to get approval like that or want confirmation that the guy meets some standard.

[bubblygirl2002]

I think it comes from the whole sisters before misters mentality, like you want to make sure you’re pals approve of the guy you’re interested in, to kind of give a wee double check before you get any kind of invested

[DRudiger]

That's ridiculous. Can't you form your own opinion. And I can just tell from you saying "wee". That you are Scotland?

[bubblygirl2002]

No but I do value my friends opinions, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve liked a guy and been blinded to his more toxic qualities because of that, sometimes an outside perspective can be really helpful

[bubblygirl2002]

Also what’s the issue with me being Scottish?

[DRudiger]

Nothing, I often note that Scottish people use the word "wee" a lot. And to be honest I find it rather stupid that a girl needs to "value" her friends opinion on whether a guy is cute or not. As it even matters, and It happens to me so often I just think what is wrong with you!!

[bubblygirl2002]

Well I don’t agree with you but whatever your opinions are valid as well as mine

[In_Trance]

Guys do this all the time. Everyone has their own way of doing it.

[Cryptic-Game]

Women should not need validation.