She needs constant male attention, and I can't stand it.

[tenchu11]

So a girl I've been hanging out with for a long time now requires constant male attention. I really like her, I enjoy her company but she always needs guys around, wants to know who I'm texting, if I'm not paying attention or making constant conversation she asks if I'm okay and flirts. We've made out a couple times when drunk and just not spoken about it, like its never happened. I really do care about her, but I just can't stand being around her and her inviting another guy around just so she feels valuable or something. She looks at me and tells me she dosn't think she looks pretty and I say no you look good and we smile at each other and make eye contact. She'll see other girls at the bar and I look back at her and say that girl is ugly and she just smiles warmly back at me. If I step away from her (even if she's at the table with her other guy friend) and start talking to another girl at the bar she will come up behind me and poke me on the shoulder and playful say something like "hey where you run off too?" Then the girl I was making small talk gets an awkward feeling and walks away. I really do think this girls requires constant male validation.

Do I take the leap and tell her how I feel and if its not mutual... I should make myself more scarce. Or is there no way at all to change the way she is. I love being around her and make her my priority and I hate, just when I'm about to tell myself no more I can't (I won't even text her for days) its like she has some sort of 6th sense and I get a text from her "want to hang out?" and I cave in and meet her for drinks.

I've realized It will be just very painful whenever she meets another guy and I leave with a big chip in my shoulder...do I talk to her about it. Or just accept that she requires constant male attention (she's always talking about this guy or that guy friend) and let her go from my life?

[madhatters4]

it seems to me that she just likes you and needs your validation if we want to call it that. but if it was simply male validation then I don't see why she'd follow you up to the bar rather than flirt with or seek the attention of another guy.

i'm also confused it seems like you don't want a relationship with her but you also say that you will be hurt if she meeds another person... I don't quite get that

I think if you legimately don't like her and don't want to hook up or have a relationship you need to be the strong one here and not give in to her advances or desires to hook up. it seems clear that as long as you are willing to maintain the status quo she is going to go along, but it sounds like you don't particularly like this. I recall a similar situation in college when a girl would do a lot of the things you mentioned. ultimately it was up to me to 'cut the chord' because she had feelings for me and as long as I didn't take the step to break it off she probably would've help out hope and feelings

[tenchu11]

I really do like her...but this girl is like way out of my league physically. I'm not sure why she hangs out with me. So in a pathetic way I think if I chase her away by telling her that I know she doesn't feel the same way about me...I can sort of cleanse myself from the inevitable downfall.

[madhatters4]

aha...well it sounds to me like because she is 'out of your league" you are trying to find a flaw in her that will make you not want to sort of try and seek a relationship or hook up...but it sounds to me like she is into you so if you are into her you should go for it.