How do I be more feminine and become more comfortable in my womanhood?

[Anonymous]

I’m an INTP, which 1-2% women are. I tend to be messy, live in my own head, and things like fashion/makeup/hairstyling are a chore for me. I find it hard to relate to my girl friends sometimes, and my interests are more academic than “womanly”.

I am more logical than emotional and have a hard time understanding my feelings, putting myself in other people’s shoes, and being tactful/mindful the way other girls are. I feel like I have an introverted masculine energy to me.

Being a mother doesn’t appeal to me.

I’ve always been more career-driven, but am now ready to give relationships a chance.

I feel like I want to embrace my inner femininity, which I’ve never done before.

How do I be more of a woman? I really want it now. Any tips on how to get started with fashion/makeup/feelings/men? How do I become a pretty, classy, feminine woman when I’ve essentially lived my whole life as a tomboy?

I hope this is the right place to ask for help! Would appreciate books, articles, YouTube videos, podcasts etc that could help. Thanks :)

[btbc92]

Your INTP. Who says your not a woman? Being pretty has 0 to do with being a woman. That's the same with fashion, makeup, men, etc. If you were not interested in men like that, don't FORCE IT. If you don't like fashion, it's okay. DON'T. Makeup? Who CARES! You're feminine in your own way. I'm INFJ. And trust me, we have it worse. We're both logical and emotional at ONCE. And you can be just as classy and enjoy things that aren't typical of women!

Don't try to change all of that, it will make you miserable. It means you don't love yourself. It is not the end of the world. You have more and enough time to want to explore if you want to try makeup or not. You don't have masculine energy. You're just intense, and that is not going to change because that is just how you are. I can be like that too, but it requires balance. Assertiveness in a woman is NOT a BAD THING! Just like being passive isn't bad per se. Just that most men wants to take advantage of a woman because she is giving him too much or all of control over her. Which can lead to abuse if with teh wrong the person.

[psychoticanimaIIover]

If you want a glow up, just google it. Some women are not made for femininity though, and end up looking like a pig in a wig. Maybe you’re fine as you are and some guy might actually like the real you underneath all that crap?

[Asker]

I don’t think I’m ugly. I’m just not “feminine” in my clothes/personality/makeup.

I suspect I might have slight autism too. I have a hard time with human relationships, empathizing, and social cues.

I do not feel like the “real me” is even lovable :/

[slatyb]

What do you REALLY want? A partner? There are plenty of fine men who will love you just as you are: men happy to remain childless, men happy to have a partner who doesn't mess with makeup. I'm in high tech and most of the men I work with would love you as you are. Maybe you should move to the west coast where there is a surplus of single men like that.

[Astarlessnightsky]

Be happy how you are.

[Asker]

The men I'm attracted to do not like my lack of "girly" traits, so to speak...

I do not want to die alone with 30 cats either

[tyme4mee2shiine]

Good luck. You got this

[poonslayer1997]

Be confident in your body