I HATE looking at happy couples. How can I stop reacting this way?

[Anonymous]

Whenever I see a happy couple, I get this lump in my throat and feel like I am going to cry. This is because I lost someone I loved and looking at a happy couple makes me feel like I want to throw up. It's like torture looking at 2 people who are happy with each other. Also, every time I look at someone who reminds me of my ex, again I feel sad.

How can I stop reacting this way?

[AdeleHW]

It's HARD, no doubt about that, but you CAN NEVER look at other people and compare your situation to theirs. You're looking at a few minutes in time, you have no way of knowing anything about that couple and where they could be tomorrow.

Don't look at it because it's making you long for something you lost and that's only going to make you more miserable. If you must look at it, be happy for someone else instead of dwelling on your own situation. You never know what these couples have been through or will go through in the future. Life's funny like that. One week I've got a friend who is getting married, the next he cheats on her, it's all over, and my other friend who was single and convinced there was no one out there for her is now in a relationship. In other words, your situation won't stay the same, life is unpredictable.

Eventually you'll stop feeling sad when something reminds you of your ex. It does help to cry, so don't deny yourself that. But time really is the only cure. You won't feel terrible forever. And as I said, life's unpredictable, rather than stay miserable about what's gone, embrace the next experience. Your ex is just a tear drop in the ocean. You don't see it that way now, but you will.

[gypsy16]

i feel the same hun...i am not with the one I lve and its hard...he is ALWAYS on my mind.

i can understand you seeing other people in love can upset but you need to stop this as it may make you become cynical!

put it this way...im going through a hardddd breakup and ALL of my 6 best friends now have partners! imagine that...but I have to think how happy I am for them..rather than how upset it makes me.

Maybe instead of feeling upset when you look at someone...use it as inspiration (as corney as that sounds) and think that many people you see in relationships, good chance they have been through a previous breakup..and look how happy they are now with another person! maybe try that train of thought!

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, you can't really control your feelings. What I will say is that no relationship is perfect. Sure, that happy couple may look madly in love and blissful to you, but they could be putting on an act in public. I guess assuming the worst and being a cynic like that may make you feel better.

Or you could try being happy that two people have seemed to found love. It should inspire you to aspire to such a place of contentment in a relationship. And know that someday that will be you.

[NicholasHalden]

The best way to accept this is to accept that most couples are just perfect for each other. Some couples reach a state where the drama and emotional disdain are abdicated to a lesser degree. I feel upset at times when I see women that look like my former girlfriend also but this does not matter and should not matter. If it had never worked out cause of mellow drama then seeing those "happy" couples should place an idea in your mentality that you know who you are and that you do not need another person to show you your identity as a boyfriend. Good Luck and Stay Strong.

[myspacemybroke]

Just stop thinking about it. I've been kind of the same way a lot, so I just stopped even thinking about relationships. Don't dwell on the negative.