How would you take it if you were a college student and male walked up to you and said "excuse me, if you don't mind me asking, what is your name?

[Animeboyy]

I'm a freshman in college, and during my orientation I tried this line on a girl I wanted to talk to. I saw her in the group ahead of me, walked over and said "Excuse me, if you don't mind me asking, what is your name?" . Mind you, I'm a 135lbs 5'8 white - fit looking white guy with a fairly deep voice, I highly doubt I'm intimidating in any way. For some reason, the girl said something, but I couldn't really hear her since she was wearing a mask, so I said "what did you say?" , the advisor leading the group then replied in her place and threatened to call the police (which wouldn't go anywhere obviously, maybe get her into trouble?), when I tried to explain myself. I was just in the group a little farther behind them and I decided it wasn't worth dealing with her, even though I didn't think I had done anything illegal or offensive.

That man is creepy

That man is hitting on me

that man is creepy and hitting on me

that man just wants to know know my name

that man wants to be acquainted

that man is rude and aggressive

[Jake99999]

There are a lot of creeps and scammers out there. Walking up as a stranger and asking for personal information is going to make most people wary and suspicious. I would not recommend that any woman give her name to a total stranger who walks up and asks her. You have no idea what he is up to.

[Neosporin]

Exactly this asker is a creep

[Gwenhwyfar]

Based on just those facts, the advisor’s response was too harsh

[Gwenhwyfar]

Person who downvoted me: I was in the fence about this one. Why do you disagree?

[Gwenhwyfar]

On the fence

[Jake99999]

Part of my background is training women in how to defend themselves and how to recognize trouble early and avoid it for their own safety.

Any time a guy walks up to you on the street, just out of the blue, and asks for personal info, your guard should go up right away and you should just leave. And of course don’t give him the info.

You have NO IDEA what the guy is up to.

If he is a nice, normal guy he is not going to walk up and say “tell me your name”. You have no real idea why he is asking or what he is up to. I think the advisor did exactly the right thing.

I think the poster did a really stupid thing that was not appropriate, and maybe he should learn from what happened and change his behavior rather than act all offended that an advisor was looking out for a female student.

[Animeboyy]

@Jake99999 I'm not sure if you chose not to read the entire post, or if you just ignored certain details. This was all happening during the first week of college orientation. I don't see how it's weird that a fellow student in the same year would want to know who another student is, especially since everyone's new, and very few people know eachother.

[Jake99999]

How about you go up to her and say, "Hi, my name is xxxxxxx, I am in the group behind you, how do you like the orientation so far?" or something like that. Going up to someone on the street and saying "what is your name" its just the wrong tone dude. You got the response you deserved. Learn from it.
You look at all of this from your perspective only. The woman you approach had no idea who you where or if you were part of the orientation or whatever. Don't start with an interrogation type of question "what is your name". Its weird. You wanted opinions, you are getting them.

[Gwenhwyfar]

@Jake99999 you raise a very valid point. That’s exactly why I was on the fence.

[Jake99999]

Yeah its okay I don't think any less of you!
The poster just needs to open his eyes and look at it from the woman's perspective. His intention was okay, just the way he did it was wrong. Unfortunately someone on the street that does not know you, cannot read your mind to understand what you are intending.
People try to get people's names and other personal info for all kinds of nefarious reasons. Women need to keep their guard up. A guy walking up and saying "tell me your name" is either socially very awkward, or up to no good.
I hope he just adjusts his approach instead of trying to validate that he did nothing wrong. He got a negative response out on the street, and a lot of people on here didn't think it was cool either. Just learn from it.

[Gwenhwyfar]

@Jake99999 I agree with you

[Animeboyy]

@Jake99999 So basically I just screwed up the order? Also, unless your a complete meatball head, you should know that everyone's name is posted online in the directory, so if a fellow student asks, what difference does it make, considering I didn't ask for her first and last name and ssn.

[Jake99999]

You just don’t get it. Keep deluding yourself. You walked up to a woman on the street and said “tell me your name”. It’s creepy and everyone thinks so. But go ahead, keep trying that method. Keep being lame and refusing to learn. You should have spent 2 minutes thinking about this and realizing it wasn’t a good approach. Instead you are on her posting about and you are not getting the validation you wanted, so you are going to keep arguing.

[Animeboyy]

@Jake99999 I didn't go up to her and straight up say "TELL ME YOUR NAME" , there was no way I could have possibly been more passive in asking. People usually ask for someone's name when they're meeting for the first time, and then go on to introduce themselves etc. I know if a man-man were to do the same thing, there would have been know problem, especially in the same setting.

[Neosporin]

@gwenhwyfar hi I was one of the people downvoting you sorry. I normally like what you write. I agree with @jake99999 about starting with your own name and asking more innocent questions.
@Animeboyy I understand you’re not necessarily a creep just a normal guy but your question was just not innocent enough man sorry.

[Neosporin]

@gwenhwyfar I apologize for downvoting

[Jake99999]

Yeah I don’t think downvoting is meant as an insult. I certainly never mean it what way.

But this guy just needs to learn how to change his approach. Even if it was a guy he approached, walking up out of the blue and saying “what is your name”, even if you tack on “excuse me” in front of it, feels creepy and suspicious. This guy will either learn from it and move on with his life, or not. It sounds like not.

[Gwenhwyfar]

@Neosporin it’s cool 😊. The only reason I was on the fence at all is cause I assumed the advisor knew this guy was another freshman so calling the police seemed excessive. But after thinking over how creepy his behavior must have seemed to that girl maybe it’s not that excessive after all.

[Neosporin]

There’s no reason to ask someone there name out of the blue extreme creepy.

[Neosporin]

Ew and your username is anime boy? Extra disgusting weeb. I hate weebs

[Animeboyy]

Ew and your name is Neosporin? extra disgusting medication, I hate medications