Why are women so passive in a relationships while men are expected to be assertive & confident?

[Anonymous]

Men will have to act and be something forthcoming and honest ask her out "how are you?" you know express their personality their, humor. Like really animate who they are and turn the volume up hopefully, don't lie. Don't be someone who you're not. But you really have to show who you are to get her to respond to something. Women can just stay there, passively choosing and seeing "Well, okay. We'll see. Keep going. Keep impressing me.", you know "Where's this relationship going. Blah blah blah...". This is a woman's passive stance. So a man's always being active. And when the relationship goes sour because she didn't say anything & the man barely understands who she is as a person, she wants to claim all men only want sex or it's the man that was the bad guy & I did nothing wrong.

[Subarugirl]

Because men call women who are assertive and confident too masculine or accuse them of taking the lead. Women are constantly shamed for being too loud, taking up too much space, for how they look, what profession they chose, and who they are, for trying to hard or not hard enough...

Fathers, grandfathers, uncles, and brothers constantly warn their younger female relatives about men then complain when women are suspicious. Women are taught to cover up to protect themselves as if it's their fault they got assaulted because they are female. You're complaining that women are too passive, yet we can't reject someone with out fearing for our safety, or walk down the street with out a fear of getting cat called, or drink with out being cautious of having your drink spiked.

The message that woman are somehow responsible for the abuse they experience, comparing human being with objects and then telling them that boys will be boys...

[Juxtapose]

I'm kind of sick of suffering the consequences for actions I have never done. I have never encouraged a woman to behave like it is the 1950s. When my sister wanted to screw one of my friends? I did absolutely nothing to get in her way nor did I say one thing to get in her way.

Stop punishing good guys for shit bad guys have done. I certainly give good girls a break and don't burden them with any negative lessons women have taught me.

[Subarugirl]

@Juxtapose you’re suffering the consequences of the society we live in. If you want things to change, change the way society views women.

[Juxtapose]

I just think people should judge each other solely on the other person's actions.

[Juxtapose]

I have had friends, training partners, lovers and so on, both male and female. If the male or female each has a good head on their shoulders then the hormones don't really change their behavior too much.

[Subarugirl]

@Juxtapose Of course but you can't ignore the social influence that American and purity culture has on everyone. you're complaining about the symptoms of a bigger issue that are effecting you, instead of looking at the bigger picture.

[Juxtapose]

There is nothing I can do about this bigger picture. All I can do is approach people as individuals rather than a loose collection of labels and stereotypes.

[Subarugirl]

@Juxtapose There is always something that can be done, how ever making a conscious effort to recognize it is the first step.

[Asker]

@subarugirl I need a girl like you.

[Subarugirl]

Then be the type of person someone like me would want to be with

[Cleo12345]

Not true, I see many women be the bold forthcoming ones when trying to pursue a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Yeah that’s the nature of males and females. Masculine energy vs feminine energy. That’s how it works. Not only with humans but with many different types of animals too. The male is the one that needs to show off their feathers, the nest they built, the stone they found or whatever to be picked by a female or they need to be assertive and confident, possibly even literally fight others males, and win a female that way, depending on species. Males need to prove themselves worthy, females pick. A bit exaggerated of course (males also pick to an extent, especially when it comes to humans) but that’s the general basis of it and it has to do with the fact that the offspring of females who were passive and picky about who they mated/partnered with did better than the females who weren’t. The picky female’s offspring went on to have offspring themselves to a higher extent than the offspring of non picky females, and the pickiness trait were passed on this way during the evolutionary process and here we are. Males didn’t need to be as picky since they could have an unlimited amount of offspring (theoretically) and so some of those were bound to go on to reproduce. Since females (in general, especially humans) can have a very limited amount of offspring and also invest a lot more (pregnancy, birth, nursing or bringing up the babies which during the whole time she is/were in history more vulnerable to predetors and death) it’s very important that the offspring she does have are healthy, strong and go on to reproduce in the future or else that females genetic line dies out, and that’s were the pickiness comes in - it made sure her offspring were of as good quality as possible to make it more likely they survive until they reproduce themselves. Quality is important in a female’s mate because quantity isn’t an option for her. Quality isn’t as important for a male’s mate because quantity is an option for him. This is all when it comes to mating/having babies of course but that’s what this is all about - we’re animals, and nature doesn’t care that you have no intention to have kids or that the society doesn’t still look like it did when we were cave people. So yeah, a male needs to prove himself worthy to be picked as a mate/partner. Not that women literally think about this in their everyday dating life but it’s in our instincts and natural behaviour. It is likewise in males instincts and natural behaviour to be more assertive and less passive (those traits were rewarded for males the same way pickiness and passiveness were rewarded for females).

[hahahmm]

Women who are more passive are more feminine. Guys who want women to be aggressive are basically saying that they aren't very masculine so they need her to make up the difference.

Life is less frustrating if you stop taking everything women say seriously. Always judge what she says in terms of your own guiding principles and boundaries. Reject anything that goes against it. For traditional minded guys I've laid out some thoughts on that in MyTakes like Being A Better Man & Being a Better Man, Part 2 and for the traditional female Characteristics of a Lady

[Subarugirl]

You're right.. a lot of men like women they can control and have power over. Not taking what she says seriously is great advice... she said no, but I'm sure she doesn't really mean it. She said no, but that doesn't make sense so just reject it...…

[hahahmm]

@Subarugirl Well, let's look at the context here... I promote guys being honorable and respectful. Naturally a guy like that won't ignore a woman telling him, 'no'. He would just move on and not waste his time or hers.

[dustybiker]

@hahahmm But you need to be clearer about both sides of what you mean then or you are encouraging monsters out of already confused men.

[hahahmm]

@dustybiker Nope. Any idiot gets what I meant and if he's an idiot then he'd still be one even if I wrote exactly what you think I should write.

[dustybiker]

@hahahmm Why bother helping at all if you’re only going to half-ass it?

[Subarugirl]

Well then maybe you should be more intentional about saying what you mean. I personally wouldn't want to take the risk of not being clear enough and accidently encourage people to disregard a person's boundaries.

[dustybiker]

@Subarugirl Sorry to butt in on your post. The man clearly is just a woman hater and not worth the effort. Stepping out.

[Subarugirl]

@dustybiker hey you are always welcome! But yeah same... I don't have time for misogyny

[dustybiker]

@Subarugirl Thank you. Agreed.

[hahahmm]

@Subarugirl Hilarious how you whiners are complaining about how I addressed a man to answer his question. Go write a pink MyTake to men. Ha ha ha ha ha. I'm seriously cracking up here.

[RearEntryGuy]

Before 1922, physical strength were needed to put food on the table. Hence men has the advantage over women.

Society was thus formed recognizing strength, gender, which translates to male = leaders, breadwinner, and hence the one to lead even in courtship.

Time has changed. 2022 coming. I noticed "strong" (not in physical strength) women leading. In fact, more and more women are less passive and more active.

Yes, it may take another generation or more for real "equality". But for now, while traditional "man woo" social standard still prevail, more and more women are asking guys out.

I think this is a good progress.

Sex.
Yes. Women still claim that all guys want is sex. But I think they want sex too. We just need to understand each gender better and balance the "sex vs commitment" issue.

[slatyb]

Yet another complaint from. a man that somehow the world is unfair to men and it’s not his fault that he is unable t form a successful partnership. Sorry, pal, it’s on you. There’s nothing wrong with women in general, although to be sure some women, like some men, are best avoided.

[sammy_sammy]

I'm just passive person in general. Also I've asked guys for their number and tried to be assertive but they stopped putting in effort after awhile so I gave up. My friend (he's a guy) said guys like it better when they can make the first move bc it makes them feel in control so I just follow his advice

[Anonymous]

Well. I can assure you that this is clearly not the case for “all” women. To me, it just sounds like this person isn’t really interested nor invested in you. She could be talking to someone else on the side and they currently have her emotions and attention, and have you as the back up. You should try to figure out her her if his woman really likes you or not before making such a false generalization.

[ChrisMaster69]

You are dating the wrong girls then or chasing after a specific type of girl.

Reevaluate the type of girl you are looking for.

Add in Confident, Independent and intelligent.

avoid passive girls.

[AllieAnswersThings]

You might be dating the wrong woman if that's what you're looking for - I may not be the most confident girl, but I am definitely assertive! I'd try to expand your dating-world!

[Anonymous]

Because it was like that for millions of years. There's a difference between always ball-busting women vs feminine women. Ball-busting women are good wives but they don't make good mothers and feminine women are good mothers but they hardly make exciting wives. The number of ball-busting women rose after the first wave of feminism just 100 years ago.

[FunkyMonkee]

I've heard that girls have a lot more confidence if they at least APPEAR to have bigger tits so, either they should be the assertive ones or guys should try growing their tits.

[jaybee281]

I don't know - The only comment I'll make is that I have balls of steel so I also don't care

[spartan55]

Too many think all they have to do is show up and not do shit.

[hsshannah96]

Men? Assertive? Hahahahahahaha no they’re not. They never know what they want ! 😂😂😂😂

[Heartache0405]

Where you wanna go for dinner?

[Juxtapose]

Men are the simpler sex.

[hsshannah96]

@Juxtapose no they’re not lmfao

[Juxtapose]

Women play mind games when men just want good company and good fun.

I am bisexual, I have noticed men are much more straightforward in general.

[hsshannah96]

@Juxtapose lmfao. They don’t care about a woman trusting them enough for sex because they just need penis satisfaction. It sucks that many didn’t want a relationship but aren’t upfront about it

[hsshannah96]

@Juxtapose men are NOT straightforward

[hsshannah96]

@Juxtapose we don’t play mind games wtf

[hsshannah96]

@Heartache0405 oml. No I’m not. I watch Netflix at home peacefully by myself

[hsshannah96]

@Heartache0405 learn to read. Read my statements.

[Juxtapose]

I have never been the one to play mind games in my relationships. I want sex sure, but I want the emotional bond and intimacy too.

[ZS007]

what if the roles were reversed... 🥲. Cause I'm familiar with that feeling.

[TheFlak38]

Because the sexual marketplace is rigged in their favour and they take their men for granted. All they can offer is a vagina and a cute face. That's their only talent which is not a talent at all.

[Juxtapose]

Because we let them. No matter what you were I do, there will be an army of simps to validate whatever they think.

[AkshiJanjua]

That's true and then they say men can't understand women, like bitch do you even want to be understood

[anylolone]

Because no one likes to take the risk and women get what they want.

[LegendaryIcon]

that's what they like

most women, other than the select few, prefer to be the sub.

[bigbluey]

I think because women like to be chased.