What would you do if you found out they were into drugs and you weren't aware?

[Anonymous]

you liked this person and got along well but at some point you found out they were into drugs and doing drugs with other people when you weren't around

clearly i missed the signs or missed something , cause i found out her and her best friend are really into drugs. i'm not even exactly sure what drugs as they won't really talk to me about it but i over heard a conversation the one had and they talked about how they gave her a " gram " of something trying to cause a certain affect but it didn't work so as to what drug she tried? is a mystery

her friend has also talked about smoking marijuana and doing mushrooms , so not entirely sure what drugs there using or would be willing to try , i somehow doubt it ends at pot and party drugs like mushrooms or lsd.

they never asked me to do drugs with them , they've never really talked to me about it. i usually see them at there work as there both servers and sober at work. never seen them high or with signs of drug use then

[Anonymous]

I personally wouldn’t be comfortable with that and would get turned off if I found out my boyfriend is using drugs. Smoking pot I can still tolerate as long as he’s honest with me about it. My boyfriend also had a history of drug abuse (mostly designer drugs), I’ve learned to accept it but I don’t think I can handle it if he goes back to using. Now the question is: Are you comfortable with her doing drugs? What do you expect from her, are you okay with her doing drugs as long as she’s not doing it in front of you?

[Asker]

i expected better from her although knew she liked to drink and party so i guess party drugs can fit into that lifestyle and maybe i should of been more aware of what was going on with her.

not comfortable with her doing drugs cause i know a lot about the local drug scene and drugs in general. the drug supply is extremely dangerous and often referred to as tainted. so many drugs contain things there not expecting. even if she thinks she's doing cocaine it could contain fentanyl and who knows where these people get these magic mushrooms and what they really contain either , your trusting your life with a bunch of people who do drugs heavily but don't really care about you

[Opinion Owner]

Would you still date her if you knew from the beginning that she does drugs?

I think this can definitely be a deal breaker for you, based on your response. You definitely need to have a conversation with her, just start from there and you can figure out the solution together. The thing is you can’t make her stop doing drugs, it has to come from her own willingness to stop for good.

So I think you need to think about your limits or if there’s a middle ground where the two of you need to mutually compromise to reach an agreement. Good luck!!

[Asker]

i know we need to have a conversation about this , maybe i never put any though into her doing drugs as i didn't think she was the type based on her background and image. although it appears her social circle and co workers might be the issue.

guess if i knew for certain she only did drugs socially the odd time and only soft drugs like pot or mushrooms i could live with that. but its the unknowns , i find most people who are into drugs tend to be into a wider variety and aren't scared to try new drugs. and why was she hiding this from me from the start , obviously she knew it was illegal/unhealthy and that some people might question her on why she was doing this based on who she is

[Asker]

i just don't view drugs as a healthy lifestyle choice , also a waste of money when money is already tight. i can barely afford to buy food some days yet alone pricey illegal drugs.

the risk of overdose also concerns me , not from pot but from the other drugs which can often not be what they claim and laced with stuff. around here despite being a small city , we've seen our fair share of overdoses even deaths. so for an educated young women to decide to enter that lifestyle really doesn't make a lot of sense. there is people my age and even younger who have died the last couple years from drug addictions

[Opinion Owner]

I agree, I also share your sentiment. But then again, I have a couple friends who only do drugs at parties and they stick to softer drugs so I guess not all drug users are gonna go hardcore. Even my boyfriend who was an avid drug user, always stuck to just taking designer drugs bc he knows that once he go hard there’s no going back.

It is a pretty tough pill to swallow, especially if her environment isn’t necessarily a positive one. The party scene and taking drugs have been kinda normalized which is sad…

[Asker]

the drug scene here always seems to be changing , up till 5 or 6 years ago pot was illegal here but still widely used and popular. now thats its legal is 7 or 8 pot shops in town and my city is only 20,000 people. so the use of marijuana is suddenly more acceptable and widespread which might help explain why she and her friends feel so comfortable using it now

but really not that worried if they us pot afterwork some days , left wondering what there getting themselves into. once you get more deeply involved with the drug culture its hard to get out , if there buying drugs from people and using with them. you can become more intangled in it. attractive girls tend to also have easier access to drugs as guys are willing to use it as a way to get closer to them and willing to supply them with stuff. so just not sure what there getting themselves into , perhaps they think its just summer fun although i'm really not so sure

[boredgal]

Well the question really is, is it okay for you? Are you comfortable with what your partner is doing? If it bothers you then you can do one of two things: 1. Ask her to stop doing drugs or 2. Break up with her.

[Asker]

i see trying to talk to her as being an option , although the first issue would be getting her to open up and admit whats going on. marijuana is legal here but other stuff illegal so drug users still have this stigma and aren't necessary willing to admit use. i'd also imagine her parents/family are unaware too of her drug use. it appears her drug connection might be people who work in the kitchen at the restaurant where she works , some of them are well known drug users. she could buy pot legally at a cannabis shop too if she wanted but the illegal stuff harder to find

[Anonymous]

I would have to move on. I can’t be around people that use drugs. My job wouldn't allow it. I also want don’t wanna burn brain cells.

[Asker]

they both work at a restaurant so obviously no drug tests there. they both plan to attend school this fall so doesn't make a lot of sense as there going to be taking educationally difficult programs but i guess college students still party

[CloudMassacre]

I wouldn’t care. And some people do just stop at mushrooms and weed

[Asker]

i know some guys who would view this much differently and even view it as ideal situation. guess cause i don't even smoke pot myself its harder to try and figure out what to do.

obviously try and distance myself from them if i'm not comfortable with what there doing. although concerned around here i could encounter the same issue with the next girl i meet as drug use seems to be widespread.

at least there not asking me to do drugs with them ( at least not yet ) and have never tried to use me to buy drugs for them or pay for them. but the fact there not honest about me is starting to bother me