Ladies, do you feel the need to protect yourself at all times because of how you look/dress?

Question

“She’s asking for it.”  Gentlemen, your thoughts?

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

I'm not a female, but I don't get the whole "I should be able to dress half naked and assume no evil or predatory men exist in society" angle. Saying something like "she's asking for it" is extreme and hyperbolic, but if you go walking alone, drunk and half-naked, through the middle of Detroit at 1am, and assume nothing bad will happen to you, then you're kind of an idiot, no? They're called BAD GUYS for a reason! This same logic applies to men, too. You don't leave your car door unlocked, wide open, and full of cash and expensive items and then act surprised when it or the things in it get stolen.

But I think this kind of thing is only thought by pampered, upper middle class white women who assume no "people of color" could ever be criminals or that she's too special and privileged to ever be the victim of a crime or paint herself as an easy target.

You know who rapists and criminals don't target? People who look smart, tough, capable, or walk alone at 1am half naked through downtown Detroit.

But yeah, either protect yourself if you're that timid and paranoid, or dress half naked, but have a glock in that purse of yours, too. But don't give men the "I should dress like a slut and have nothing bad ever happen to me, because bad people shouldn't exist" bullsh*t. Because that just makes you, and women as a whole, look stupid and like they can't be held accountable for their own lives and safety.

bobby_bush_eater · Accepted Answer

Yes I believe women should. Whether you can access and believe in guns, a knife or stuff as simple as key chain taser or pepper spray. Women should always have some way of getting out of harms way because crime is rising in America especially and it is better to be safe than sorry. It is a shame that we live in this type of world but that's the reality

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

Personally, I'm kind of always low key aware of the people around me in public.

My keychain has a small sharp edge and I know how to hold my keys so they're like sharp knuckles. I also usually carry a small knife.

Never had to use any of them. The one time I did deter an attacker, all it took was fixing him in the eyes with a wary look and firmly saying hello. That was enough to show him I wasn't an easy target and I'd be more trouble than it was worth.

Another time an old fat white man followed me home in his truck and all I had to do was hold up my phone like I was recording him (I wasn't, I think I was watching YouTube or something) and he ran off.

BurntKeyboard · Accepted Answer

No, I only feel unsafe if there's a concerning person nearby who's taken notice of me, regardless of how I dress.

therealadamreed44 · Answer

There is this girl that I have a crush on and she's the type of girl that you would expect pervs and rapists to target because of the way she dresses but nobody messes with her because of her reputation.

She always wears skin tight clothes made from faux leather or latex. I'm talking ultra mini skirts, ultra low rise pants, fashionable crop tops and crop jackets. Not to mention the thigh high heeled boots and those gstrings that she flaunts all the time.

She's also involved in the local illegal street racing scene and is ranked quite high up in the syndicate she's associated with.

So that's why nobody messes with her because of her reputation and the syndicate she's affiliated to, even though a lot of local lads like me get turned on by the way she dresses and want to fuck the living shit out of her, we are too afraid to because we can sort of guess what the consequences will be and they're not good at all.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

I hardly every wear anything that would be considered revealing but I do try to be aware of what happening around me. I carry a pepper spray and I've thought of carry around something getting a taser as well just to feel like I have some added security. I try to be careful not to put myself into dangerous situations if I can avoid it. Though I do have to leave my apartment to go to work, and when it starts getting dark early then it will be dark after a 12 hour shift when I have to go out to my car and into my apartment from my car.

ZackBan · Answer

Let me put it this way:
Just because you shouldn't have to doesn't mean you shouldn't.

In life you either protect yourself or you perish it's very simple and animalistic.

Wether it's your looks and outfit or how much gold you're wearing or how nice your car is, people are often targets of aggression. You need to protect yourself it's not wrong it's not a social dilemma or a problem that needs solving.

No one should attack someone else regardless of reason but people will still do it with or without one. So protect yourself

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

No no no, she is not asking for it. I can always tell if a girl is asking for it or not. I cannot explain it but I kind of feel it.

The thing is, I have contact with many fashionable girls and I know how they think, and what they think while dressing up (for the majority of it). They just want to be themselves! Nothing else! They want to project confidence, self-reliance, and other things. Or sometimes even just chill!

Most of the time, they are definitely not asking for it, in fact, it does not even come to their mind. But when it is what they are trying to do, it is quite obvious to me at least. I never think about it in that way, when I see any girl in any kind of clothes. Did, but not now at all.

For all that I care, I really believe that all the girls I have been with, felt safe with me, as I felt that I could trust them to hang out with.

StrongMale · Answer

First off, I hate the notion that a girl is “asking” to be sexually assaulted because she wears a sexy outfit. That idea is offensive on its face. Having said that, I do think some male sexual predators might be more apt to hone in on a gal if she is dressed in a way that entices male visual interest. Sadly, that possibility may be a reason for some women, in certain circumstances, to reconsider their choice of outfits so as to not put themselves at increased risk. Again, it’s sad, but it is unfortunately true.

RosieMelts · Answer

Mm feel the need to protect 🤔 *chews apple, and thinks for a minute* 🍎

Lol my ‘flight or fight’ response kicks in when a threat is right in front of me or about to be

My precaution kicks up if the guy seems suspicious or if I’m wearing something a little more revealing near a guy (or guys) who seem immature. Definitely gonna be on ‘stealth mode’ near a group of guys who are loud and laughing, almost obnoxiously, as that environment can create ‘persuading each other’ to do what seems “normal” and “manly,” or to compete and try to ‘one-up’ each other, at the girl’s expense 🤦‍♀️😂.

I don’t always dress revealing. I try to match occasions, so I’m not always like.. anxious or anything. I can dress nice without the skinz lolz

As far as being cautious because of how I look? No. Not every guy is a threat and not every guy is immature. Oh happy day! 😂😭

VIVANT · Answer

For sure tho no matter what I’m wearing I remain cognizant at all times of potential trouble. Anyone of any size of any gender faces danger— I may feel more vulnerable if I’m wearing a skirt but by no means assume I’m safe just bc I’m completely covered.

Most of the times I have been attacked by strangers it was not sexual. I think only twice was sexual and I was 11 and not anticipating that kind of trouble. Since adulthood it has not been sexual in nature. Mostly people in desperate situations or off their meds or just bring assholes.

Come to think of it I’ve never been attacked wearing a skirt or shirt dress. Corollary, not causal, still kinda funny 😊

Circlesgames · Answer

Belive it or not, tradition and all the new age is spoiling u all, protect yourself final answer...

Don't ask for what u can't control, prevention is better than cure...

Fine u put on exposed cloths u get raped they take the guy to life in prison ment Infact denstanced to death, the issue here is what has happened has happened, now ur the girl who got raped by a irritating guy and many now know, plus the fact that those who know will say u asked for it, if ur dressing well and this happened at least they will know u were not asking for it, but it's rare for this to happen to a well dressed that's the truth another thing is location m, where u going to, don't go or be in places u know are for men or men roam there a lot mostly

NathanDavis · Answer

this one time... one guy did sexually harass a very good friend of mine

if he had said to me "she was asking for it" or anything that likely resembles and implies that it was her fault my response to that would have been much more, hmm... resolved, let's go with that word

but he actually said he was sorry and that he didn't mean it... so I was nice to him, and only sent him to the hospital for three months

roxy_362 · Answer

Yes, very frequently... Like some other girls said, I don't think that kind of violence is a strong function of what we wear, but I try to be cognizant of that, as well as my surroundings. I have been at the receiving end of it, so it's not just unfounded fear, but a strong and ongoing effort to prevent its repetition. Not an enviable state of mind for a woman...

sjwhiten06 · Answer

unfortunately I do, I still dress how I'd like but I do get criticised A LOT, and I've been catcalled and had the usual stares from guys when I've been out and about and I guess it's something that I've only recently become aware of, but I really hate the double standards that come with it implying a girl is asking for it when she's wearing a crop top but when a guy walks around with his top off no one cares. Countless times I've been disciplined for rolling my skirt up in school with teachers telling me it's a safeguarding issue, and I've been informed that some men have been looking up my skirt without my knowledge, so in short, yes, I do feel like I need to protect myself, but I do my best to ignore that need.

Blackcosmo · Answer

Nope i usually wear baggy clothing.

I do not agree with that "saying". If a woman dresses a certain way whether to feel sexy (because it makes her feel confident in herself) or for other people, it doesn't mean she's asking for what some sickos do.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

Sometimes. I've been groped at random before. I have pepper spray and a spike on my Keychain. And a taser in my purse. Not to mention I've practiced kickboxing. Doesn't make me unstoppable, especially if there's multiple large men, but dammit I'm at least severely hurting 1 or 2

Sixgunsound · Answer

If you are an American, I encourage you to exercise your right to have and carry self-defense tools while you can still get them. If you’re not an American I suggest you start petitioning your government to give you their permission to acquire the tools to defend yourself.

sunflower00 · Answer

I don’t worry about it because of how I look or dress, I worry about it because it could happen to anyone. People dressed in comfy clothes, fully covered, no makeup and hair not done get assaulted and raped. Kids get raped. Old women get raped. People with disabilities get raped. It’s scary

ObscuredBeyond · Answer

It's not just how you dress; but how you act regardless of how you're dressed. Display a garden, but don't build an effective fence, and the rabbits and foxes will destroy your garden.

Don't protect your pool wires, and a groundhog will destroy your pool.

Likewise, men don't like to go into seedy areas unarmed and without backup. And especially don't like to carry large amounts of cash on hand. Because that's an open invitation to muggers.

Doesn't justify the rapist or the mugger. By all means, hang both of those miscreants! Even so, don't go into dangerous areas unprepared. And never assume an area is safe, just because you want it to be. Evil always looks for an easy opportunity.

RavVid · Answer

It is silly if girls dress provocatively then feel they have put themselves at risk because of that.

Other than a couple of other species, the female of the species signals when she is fertile. The male of the species is not interested in currently non-fertile females.

Human females don't get purple asses like orangutan females do when they are fertile. It is called hidden estrous. Short skirts, tight tops with plunging cleavage is as much as we get. And yes there is good scientific evidence girls dress more provocatively when they are fertile and find bad boys more attractive.

A consequence of hidden estrus is that men have evolved to be DTF every day. Our sperm is viable for 5 days but hey fresher is better.

So of course there is going to innate responses and thoughts "Aww she wants it" when a girl dresses provocatively. A lot of guys might not be willing to say that now but it is against our genes not to respond to fertility signalling.

FlameZee78 · Answer

No one in this world is asking for anything that is just stupid and actually sexst to say as well just because females dress in certain ways don’t mean they are wanting it or asking for it… I’ve come across guys who won’t leave you alone regardless of what you are wearing

Agape93 · Answer

No. I feel the need to protect myself from guys because too many guys hate women enough to want to hurt us.

Googlemyahoo · Answer

I walk my dog down to the local beach & every girl I see wears next to nothing. I guess its the style to wear cut off jeans that go above your butt cheeks so your ass hangs out.

How can that be comfortable when its like 90 degrees out. Probably pretty swampy down there.

MrPickles13 · Answer

It's sad that as a society this is where we are I think. People shouldn't have to worry or be afraid or always on alert really it's not fair. And it's more so when people try to invalidate things like that based off of something as ridiculous as how they dress.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Common sense applies in this area. A woman is NEVER "asking for it". But on the flipside some women are incredibly dumb. I actually had a woman admonish me because I criticized her choice to walk through a bad neighborhood late at night with her ass hanging out. She said it was her RIGHT to do so. And I said you're RIGHT! It's also my RIGHT to cover myself in meat and climb in a tiger cage. That still doesn't make it a good f***ing idea.

RedStiletto88 · Answer

Considering in my life I’ve been groped and harassed , I definitely feel the need to be aware of my surroundings.

Hanrej · Answer

I think any man should respect any woman at least to the extent of seeking permission to take things that far.

Still, I've seen women argue that the way they dress is not an invitation to come talk to them... Taking it so far on the other end that people respecting women wouldn't even bother.

Solange313 · Answer

I'm a woman, but I will chime in anyway. I am a former high fashion model, married to a very successful trial lawyer. I think that women today who dress provocatively look like they are trying too hard. in my opinion it is MUCH sexier to only show just a bit of your assets at one time. Entertainers, the Kardashians, and social media have popularized dressing in a flagrantly provocative way. Men have almost become immune to it because so many young woman look exactly the same-body con mini, plunging neckline, 6 inch heels, blah, bla, bla. Dress any way you want, but understand that you may not be taken seriously or considered partner material by high value men.

AviatorTom · Answer

I think it's rare that "she's asking for it" but women should be aware that certain outfits can, and do, trigger reactions in men. The notion of "wear whatever you want" can be a risk.

EllaNella · Answer

i work as waitress so i walk home alone at night a lot. i carry pepperspray in case something might happen but it's been 3 years now and i've never felt unsafe or had a weird encounter

spartan55 · Answer

I believe everyone should protect themselves at all times because ultimately we are all responsible for our own safety.

Andres77 · Answer

Women need to stay on guard all the time anyway because of the fact that they’re more vulnerable. every woman that can should carry a gun.

Vanidal · Answer

It's better safe than sorry. Depends on where you are, though. Shady roads aren't good places. Public places can't protect you from quick to hide harassment.

Biancam13 · Answer

Yes I do, especially later at night if I'm out and especially if I'm walking alone. I always make precautions and don't walk near certain people.

ALPHABLACK · Answer

That's an overstatement  It's quiet similar to guys do you feel scared that any women can put a fake case in your name and destroy your life  Well girls do that all the time too

EmmaMary · Answer

Not so much protect myself, but I am always wary of my surroundings.

melanieeeB · Answer

Specifically cause of how I dress? - No Only for the reason of being a woman in general? - hell yes.

Prettysammie · Answer

Yes, Im not going to let anyone hurt me again.

Apple1996 · Answer

Not because of how I dress but yes I always feel the need to protect myself.

BlueScorpio · Answer

Thankfully no. I still keep a look out in case of being robbed but usually I feel pretty safe.

LazerBean · Answer

Nope. Unless I am driving through some sort of ghetto I never actually feel unsafe, regardless of what I'm wearing.

kellytheman · Answer

She not asking for it for the way she is dressed unless her body language is asking for it. I do feel that more woman are learning self defense or have mace on hand more than usual which is a good thing because there is a lot creeps out there.

HighlyQuestionable · Answer

No one is "asking for it" . That's misogynistic and awful. If a woman dresses provocatively, she should expect interest and attention from single men (or single women), but not harassment. On the flip side, Women who go out (however they are dressed) should not be offended by men showing interest.

Men's expressed emotions are not "acts of violence".

d3n0939 · Answer

There could be a suspicious looking free candy van, it is up to the person who is going to encounter the visiable trouble. Everyone has to control themselves even the other one is provoking

Starwitch23 · Answer

Yes, I do.. I dress according to the place I'm visiting. People indeed tend to get raped in Burkha as well. But, I'll still dress myself according to the place.

dustybiker · Answer

Rape is a crime of opportunity. Mental illness is everywhere.

Emmss · Answer

Yes. Most of the times. Because at the end it all comes to how a women was dressed up. She asked for it type crap.

dailyoctopus94 · Answer

Unless she's verbally asking for it, she's never "asking for it."

Havthrills · Answer

Definitely should not have to. The woman should be comfortable with what she wears. If someone is thinking that way, they should be kicked.

Xtendable · Answer

‘She’s asking for it’ is an excuse for guys not to be accountable for their actions or lack of self control

jimmy2 · Answer

Don't want attention then don't look beautiful if you are alone

Pink2000 · Answer

Yes. I get hit on and harrassed no matter how I’m dressed.

pizzalovershouse · Answer

I don't mind if a girl dresses in a revealing dress with low cut but I don't like when they let there breast slip to wear you see nipples

Guardian45 · Answer

Ladies, should NEVER feel the need to protect themselves at all times because of how they look/dress. I have the same problem.😏

Zolly99999 · Answer

Women shouldn't have too.. they should be allowed to feel comfortable and walk around freely with out worry..

AngelOfLight258 · Answer

I still worry about my safety if I'm wearing a casual outfit like shorts and a T-shirt.

Subarugirl · Answer

No because how your dressed makes no difference...

OddBeMe · Answer

Ehh, thats a 90s and before “blame the rape victim” mentality. Not saying thats gone, but dont think its so much clothing anymore.

Anonymous · Answer

Just do what I do. Ignore women. She could walk by with her tits out and a dildo up her ass, I wouldn’t even glance in her direction.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

She can. There are some people out here that don’t have control. That goes for men and women.

Beeofherass · Answer

I think, it may depend on where she is? Right place with right dress.

Gloree · Answer

In my area girls fear armed robbery attack.

First thing I do if I hear the neighbors house being robbed is wear something ugly so in case the guys come in, they would find me unattractive and not rape me

driven159 · Answer

not because of looks but because of all the nuts out there in the world

Ladies, do you feel the need to protect yourself at all times because of how you look/dress?

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Ladies, do you feel the need to protect yourself at all times because of how you look/dress?

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