Is this normal behavior for a girl you asked out and who said yes to a date?

[Watdsas]

She is 30, I'm 31. We're friends, work together, and have gotten close over the past few months and based on her behavior I asked her out. She said sure, and seemed genuinely excited about the planned I cooked as it isn't a typical date, as she's told me she doesn't enjoy a typical one

Four hours before date she texts me that she has a horrible headache and throwing up and told me I'm going to hate her but she wants to reschedule. She's told me about her health issues so I'm almost certain she was telling me the truth, as it is she was having the same problem last Monday. She seemed interested as she tried to find a day that worked for both, saying "we can try Wednesday" but I couldn't so she settled on "let's just do Friday then!". She was playful while texting, telling me to help her with her pain and thanking me for being so understanding

Today at work she barely even looked at me and didn't even come to talk to me which she usually does, and when I went to her she kept it short. Even at lunch when I sometimes sit with her she spent all the time talking on her phone

She seemed busy all day and was dealing with another ailment she told me besides the headache, but I did see her talking to others and at no point came to me. Didn't share any smiles or stares as we usually do. Maybe I'm overthinking it, maybe she's as nervous as I am, maybe she wants to keep it cool, I dunno. Maybe I gotta keep it cool too until the date. I just wish I had some clarity if this is normal behavior or I'm making something out of nothing. I know no one can guess what's going through her head but any help would ease my anxiety right now

[Monalisa77]

Is there a chance she thinks your ignoring her? I thought this about my crush in work, i ignoeed him for 3 weeks then went to talk to him when i found out he was leaving and things were fine (untill i know longer see him. Now)

[Watdsas]

I hope not, even though I have been keeping a distance on purpose since asking her out to not be pushy, or obvious

She did tell me why she's been on her phone so much and so busy, didn't have anything to do with me (what a shock!) just new work assignments being overwhelming. Even asked me to walk her home and we joked around a bit. Didn't mention our upcoming date but I think I should mention something about it tomorrow, what do you think?

Sucks you don't see him anymore, what happened? And did you also get distant or busy from him at times?

[Monalisa77]

I msgd you

[Watdsas]

Hey, didn't get any message

[Monalisa77]

Tried again, can u message me to see if i get urs

[CA4444]

Sounds like she’s either not interested anymore (sorry… 😕 ) or too interested and shy maybe I don’t knwo

or you could be overthinking

[Watdsas]

If she isn't I wish she'd just say it, we're friends after all and she hates being lied to, I'd expect the same back. She doesn't seem like the shy type but does suffer from anxiety, who knows. Thanks for your perspective!

[es20490446e]

Are you surprised that a woman likes a man?

You both were overthinking things. You just needed to break the circle.

[Watdsas]

How is she overthinking though?

I don't know if she likes me besides flirting a bit, touching and accepting the date invite

[es20490446e]

She's figuring it out, so are you.

[Watdsas]

Well I definitely am. I hope she is, haha. Ignoring me sucks though

what do you mean with breaking the circle?

[es20490446e]

She's just reflecting the vibe that she's getting from you. Just talking with her normally will stop the overthinking.

[Watdsas]

and is that vibe negative right now?

I tried to talk to her but like I said she was very short with me. It'd definitely help my overthinking if she at least didn't seem to be ignoring to some extent today. We'll see about tomorrow but I'll try talking to her normally, and hopefully she is not as busy as she was today

[es20490446e]

Good luck.

[Watdsas]

Thanks! She was on her phone the whole lunch break again and never came to talk to me so I'm just unsure right now

[es20490446e]

What I have observed while dating women is that what works best with them is letting them come to you, when they feel ready.

I think that the job of the man is just making it easy for the woman to come to you, if they want to.

This is because women are more sensible, and tend to overthink and run away more easily. So sometimes they just need a little bit of air, to feel they are choosing freely.

Where most guys fails is by chasing, pursuing or becoming angry at the woman when she just needed a little bit of time.

Instead a man needs to make him look easy to approach and talk, without it making look like "sealing a deal". Just being playful, pulling the woman's leg a little bit, and making light sexy comments to her.

If the woman is interested in you, she will SURELY let you know.

[Watdsas]

"Where most guys fails is by chasing, pursuing or becoming angry at the woman when she just needed a little bit of time"

I guess there's a line though right? Like you do have to show interest but not to the point of chasing them?

"Instead a man needs to make him look easy to approach and talk, without it making look like "sealing a deal". Just being playful, pulling the woman's leg a little bit, and making light sexy comments to her"

I definitely have to work more on that. I do focus too much on "sealing the deal" and rarely compliment her

She began coming to me which is why I got interested in her, but has stopped after asking her out. Maybe due to wanting to be more cool/professional about it, or she's actually busy since she's talking on her phone the whole time with her mother. I dunno

"If the woman is interested in you, she will SURELY let you know"

Does accepting the date invite or being eager to find a day that works for both after reshceduling show she's interested? Or when she invited me to drink and then to her apartment and got touchy throughout the night? Or perhaps when she touched my thighs twice a few weeks ago in mid conversation? That's when I decided I needed to ask her out but as it is I STILL don't know if she's actually interested

[es20490446e]

If she wants to make a definitive date, with time and place, it means she is interested. Otherwise the time will be undefined.

The way you show interest is with playful banter. For example I personally like to be hilarious, ask absurd or suggestive questions, or making her become self aware.

"What have you got for breakfast today?"
"Mom is busy soon"
"I have a date soon, do you know her?"
"Christmas is approaching, and the only thing I want for Christmas is... chocolate"

Your style may vary.

[Watdsas]

"If she wants to make a definitive date, with time and place, it means she is interested. Otherwise the time will be undefined"

Good to know. Hope her behavior has nothing to do with me, I gotta get that out of my head. We didn't specify a time but I feel it was implicit it'll be the same time as last week where we're going closes early so we have to be there early.

" ask absurd or suggestive questions, or making her become self aware"

I'm so bad at that. I love the I have a date soon line, which I had the balls to use it :l

[es20490446e]

Good luck ;)

[es20490446e]

Maybe this could help:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hE4VpGlJTs

[Watdsas]

Thanks! I'll make sure to watch it tonight!

I did talk to her today and she was mostly overwhelmed with work and her knees killing her, and she's been on the phone going through that with her mother. Once I talked to her she came back to talk two times. Even asked me to walk her home which she hadn't done in a while. And she remembered what I'm doing today (as I said I couldn't do the date on Wednesday). So yeah I've been overthinking as usual. We didn't mention our date but I should bring it up tomorrow since it is on Friday. If you have a nice way to mention it I'm all ears :)

[es20490446e]

I would say nothing. I would simply go to the date.

[Monalisa77]

She sounds like me lol dont block her on fb whatever u do lool

[Watdsas]

will do, lol

gotta ask though, why? :)

[es20490446e]

@Monalisa77 Women, stop confusing the poor guys.

[chicosuave]

avoid her and let her come to you.