How do you change the flow of an awkward conversation back to something normal?

[Anonymous]

I find myself in these weird situations where the person I'm talking to brings up an awkward topic to talk about. I talk about it with them for a bit and I find the conversation dies down to this awkward feeling. I could easily just not talk to them again. But I usually just try to keep the conversation flowing. Maybe it's a sign I shouldn't even be talking to them. But I'll give examples.

I was talking to this one girl and she told me she's been working at this grocery store for years even though the company doesn't treat her right. l asked her how she finds the motivation to go to a job that treats her poorly.

She went on this gigantic tangent about being raised in a toxic environment at home leading to her accepting the way she's treated at work. But also when she was telling me all this she wanted me reassure her and make her feel better.

Then the conversation got derailed into she's just telling me all her traumas and I'm like acting like a therapist. It felt really awkward and then the conversation just died down. I could simply walk away or I could change the subject to something normal like what her favorite tv show is lol.

This happened a different time with some guy friend that I have. We're not really friends though. Where he brought up the conversation about feminism and I hate talking about feminism.

So I didn't really give an opinion about it and he was just complaining about women to me. And I just felt awkward I tried to be nice but I didn't really reciprocate I just wanted to change the subject.

Then the conversation dies down and it's awkward. I'm like thinking I didn't bring up feminism, you did. I noticed ever since then it's been really awkward to talk to that guy. Also he simps over his girlfriend to me which is another strange conversation too.

Anyway any tips on avoiding the conversation getting awkward?

[Anonymous]

I think that just comes with being easy to talk to and a good listener. I’m the same way, usually letting people vent, and I oblige it because I figure they don’t get listened to often without interruptions or just feel comfortable enough to share with me. But I think your “awkward” feeling comes from not necessarily engaging the conversation, like you aren’t putting your thoughts out there in an effort to relate and/or keep the talk going so then it just comes to a halt. It’s not up to you to carry the conversation or keep it going though, so don’t put that on yourself. If a new topic doesn’t come naturally or you just aren’t interested in still talking at all then don’t force it.

[Changiis07]

It’s nice that they feel comfortable telling you their whole life story. I’m sure it can feel awkward but try to quickly change the subject to something more pleasant maybe and see if that goes well. Like oh did you watch the new blank on Netflix yet

[quaranta]

In one case, you can't stand talking about people's problems and didn't want to offend her while leaving, to avoid conflict.
In the other case, you don't want to face conflicts by facing divergent political ideas.
I think you should either try to manage conflicts better so you are more ready for them and don't feel too nervous to say a "no" or to imply your annoyance, or you should find a way to identify potential sources of situations like that in advance and avoid them before, which includes also not contributing in generating them. If you noticed that girl was about to talk about her problems and you know you have 0 interest in listening to this type of things, don't smile to her, don't pretend you are listening to her, otherwise you give off a positive feedback and they think they are welcomed to continue.
Same is about that guy: if he got to the point to complain about women to you (a woman), probably you "allowed" this type of conversation to take place by confirming what he said before or laughing etc. People don't just randomly throw a bomb with their topic out of nowhere, they test the waters introducing it and then it takes it shape.
Don't give welcoming feedbacks in advance, you are communicating with someone, you aren't "receiving a service" and you are responsible the same for the type of conversation that comes up. Or learn to face those situations where you say what you think to some extent, or a "no", and implying your annoyance/divergence, by just doing it more.
In the first place, if you expect the others know what makes you uncomfortable (and they weren't talking about your genitals or making you picture in detail something disgusting, so it might be not predictable) and you even think it's their fault for the awkward silence after the topic, it means your approach is totally passive, as if you are not a participant, you just get a "service" and expect to be "correctly entertained", but of course that brings those effects because you can't avoid your contribution and can't expect to be in that "upper" role, even by "doing nothing" you communicate a lot and the others are not meaning you like that.
That being said, plenty of people with bad social skills both in reading the others and in communicating what they want, some people are even exaggerately bad at it, but don't have necessarily bad intentions, and there are luckily people who might articulate a more complex brain-food topic than "favourite tv show" (and any complex topic is generally negative/delicate, by design). I think you should be glad of the fact they mean you as intelligent enough to hold a more complex conversation, or reliable enough to open themselves to you without feeling judged, instead of treating you like a stupid you can only talk about frivolous crap with, unrelated to the real life deals.
So my advice is all about either diving in it fully, or in prevention through taking charge of your feedbacks, because changing topic from a complex one to a frivolous one feels like you are disrespecting them on multiple levels and want to be treated like a shallow person yourself. They must get disappointed if you do that, I personally would and wouldn't be motivated to talk further in general if that is the proposed level, I would think I'm talking with an idiot who on top of that even wants to establish any personal bond (wants to avoid personal problems topics) and probably I would cut short and leave with an excuse if I receive a reaction like that (like "what am I even doing here?").
In extremis, you might pretend to receive a call on phone so you are forced to change topic because "something happened externally" and made you think about other things, that you can now put on the table.

Lastly, if someone is exaggerately bad at social skills, you can always pull the "I am busy, need to leave" card... I have a neighbour who is really exaggerated, she stops every single person on the street, every day, to talk about her problems for as long as they allow her. She does have massive problems for real and people (me included) given concrete help time to time, but as soon as you see her walking in your direction, you know you are going to be hooked there for 4 hours, potentially, so I often listen to her news briefly but I stay in a mood of "hurry" and then I keep reminding I have to go, more frequently, until I go. But these extreme and "known" cases are really rare to my experience.

[Asker]

Dang girlfriend you don't have to attack me lol

[Asker]

Didn't even read your entire comment. I guess thank you for putting in all that effort probably took you a while. I can see you are really hurting about something and you are taking it out on me. In the future, this is coming from someone who wants to get their master's in counseling. If you want to help someone and not lead them to killing themselves, you should be nicer and not make them feel like a piece of crap just because you are upset about something and you have to let it out on them for some strange reason. Like what does that solve? Just makes you look heartless and not a good person at all. If you want to give constructive criticism, which it's ok but you have to word it like someone who cares and doesn't hate everyone. Say something like, "I understand it's hard to talk to people but if you find yourself in awkward situations with people you don't really enjoy talking to, I would avoid them in general." Instead of like oh man you are unintelligent, you are a piece of shit lol so funny 😂

[Guy13]

Aren't people fun... I enjoy the quirkiness but it is difficult at times. Perhaps, you should be some sort of a counselor.

[Asker]

Wow how did you know? You know what that's probably why she told me all her trauma.