Can you go from saying "I love you" to someone to not saying "I love you" if you truly honestly love them?

[Anonymous]

I am dating this guy & though had good dates, etc. there's things that make me wonder if he is merely after sex. Like he has spoken of kids but doesn't want to meet my family.

Yesterday as example we'd planned all last week to be together Christmas. He was gunho in the morning call to meet up but then when it may not just be sexual he turned around & bailed on the meet up. I called him out on it, saying that I want more than just sex.

Today in speaking he doesn't end his conversation with "I love you" as is usual.

No, if you love someone you'll say it regardless of the when, where, why or how

Other.

[Summeroflove]

If you don’t give men sex until marriage. 99 percent of men wanting sex will run.


If someone is using you for sex. Unfortunately he probably doesn’t love you. I don’t know his heart. But if it feels that way. You’re probably right.


You shouldn’t have to be miserable.

[Jamie05rhs]

There are two questions here: the one that is in general, and the one that is specific to your personal situation.

To answer the general question: Yes. This can happen even with people in healthy and secure long-term relationships. If there is an issue or disagreement going on, or if someone's feelings have been hurt, one or both partners may not feel like saying the words "I love you" for a short period of time. (Hopefully this is resolved and then they resume saying "I love you.")

To respond to your situation specifically: I think he only wants you for sex, and he got butthurt when you called him out on it.

[Asker]

Yeah he did. He actually had the nerve of being offended and after the chitchat we calmed down / arranged to go to a movies.

Do you think he's actually shown up, told me he's coming, etc since that conversation? And he's not at work, he's got nothing to do, etc.

I'm waiting for the end of day to see if he comes up with anything but in my heart & my head he's already done and over.

[Asker]

I gave him a second chance, he's fucking it up with little effort.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yep. I agree with you.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO.

[RangerBlue22]

Why do women make such a big deal about the verbal “I love you” so much. You show that through your actions not words.

[Asker]

You're right it usually goes hand in hand. Words are pointless, people lie all the time. Like this guy.

We arranged for a movie & he comes up with this excuse that he was at a friend's birthday party that's why he never showed up. We'd spoken three times over the phone & he never mentioned this once. Instead he lied & said he'd be there for a movie in a few hours.

[RangerBlue22]

How long have you dated this guy? How old is he?

Also just a FYI guys will always wants sex no matter how chivalrous and “nice” they might come off as. I do not know his background but I do know being chivalrous and patient got me friendzoned and burned badly when I was much younger. Some guys go for it early nowadays not just for gratification but to show where they stand. Most women don’t respect chivalry nowadays. They see it as weakness.

Not to get off on a tangent but I am just trying to see his end of things.

[Asker]

It's called respect to let someone know you can't make an obligation you imbecile

[RavVid]

Initially there is a lot of I love you's because there is bonding to be done and reinforcement needed.

After a while that need recedes and it becomes more per-functionary.

[Annacarsimama]

Dont do they as human beings we need to hear we ar e loved. Can you do that maybe. But dont

[LiamJHayden]

Some people say, "I love you" when what they really mean is, "I love what you do for me." Stop doing what they want and that type of love disappears.

[loveslongnails]

You to wake up and join the real world. This guys doesn't give two shits about you. Period, end of story. Dump him and move on.

[JosyJosy]

Yep. Just gotta be too lazy to say it back.

[Larry30]

Love remains even after sex! Usualy more.

[Asker]

It should. But if that was the case then this guy would actually do what he says he's going to do

Take today - he's not working, etc. He said we'll go to the movies, do you think he's shown up, texted me to explain a delay or anything of the like?

This has happened a few times in situations where sex was unlikely and to be honest I'm tired of his lying, manipulation of my emotions for sex and done with him. People like this don't care about others & they don't care about the hurt they cause.

He wouldn't be a good partner even if he was telling the truth.