Girls, She changed and has started to cause issues between us?

[Anonymous]

Me and a girl was talking online for no the throughout the covid-19 lockdown. We has originally planned to meet but we didn't follow through with it because we was both busy and tensions from covid-19.

I stopped talking to her, but then we matched again on a dating app. So I decided to say hi. We hit off talking every day. It was hard to meet because she lived with her sister and was waiting to buy her own house. After a few months we met up , her sister went on holiday so I went round to hers and we slept together several times.

We got along really well, I liked her. I could tell there was some personality differences but wasn't really an issue. She fell for me and I was still discovering if I loved her. But because we go on really well we got into a relationship.

For 7-8 months we had no arguments and everything was fine. We decided to stay in hotels to avoid disrespecting her sister until her mortgage started and the owner handed over the keys to her new house she bought.

She always said she was scared to be lonely and live alone when she moves into new house, and asked me to help her decorate which I said yes too. She finally moved in, but her cat fell ill and had to be put to sleep.

She got depreseed because living alone is lonely and she has lost her cat and working 60+ hours a week. She asked me to visit but it was late in the day and I was busy. I told her to plan another day.

So that was fine, and she agreed to re schedule. but then after a few days she kept talking negative saying how there is nothing positive in her life, that she is emotionally tired. Then she starts becoming overly sensitive and avoid texting me good morning or texting at all because to try and make me chase her

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I rang her and she was crying saying why can't I message her Which is off putting because It seems like she over thinking texts and I do message her first at times. But I work full time, study my masters degree and have to balance a life too and she is over thinking who messages first. Anyway, for 7-8 months none of this was an issue and there was no drama but now she moved Into her own place and is not happy now she lives alone she changed started acting that way and making out her life is bad

[_Lia_]

Seems like she is in a really bad mind set right now, it also doesn’t seem like you both are on the same page.

If you haven’t already, try explaining everything you’re doing right now. Explain that you like her a lot but have goals to accomplish and things to do. Also make it clear that this Doesn’t mean you don’t like her or aren’t making time for her. Simply explain that you both have things to do in your life everyday, you do this in order to build the lifestyles that you want; In a relationship this does mean you have to sacrifice spending every second or whatever time you’d usually spend together.

Regarding her mind set. I’d suggest some positive affirmations or motivational videos (you could also say some positive or motivational things to her). Honestly, you can tell someone their life isn’t bad but until they make an effort to mentally change their pov then it will stay that way. But giving her a little nudge in the right direction won't hurt. You could also point out that you see that she’s been down lately, maybe talk to her about it then suggest some helpful things.

Anyways, I hope it works out well for you