Would you say this girl likes me or is just very friendly?

[Anonymous]

Would you say this girl likes me or is just being very friendly? This is what she does.

-Acts different in private/1-1... than in public
-When her friend comes along she leaves right away
-Very talkative to me and energetic one on one and when i try and leave she just keeps on talking more
-Helped her twice with something and a quick 30 minute or hour job turned into her non stop talking to me for 3 hours
- my friend caught her waiting for me/looking
-she has told me very personal things.
-When we were inside the car she crossed her legs and was turned towards me

Updates

1 y

Any others?

[quaranta]

Check the way she is with other men. I have mostly male friends (always had) and even when I was in a relationship I would keep meeting them one-on-one or be enthusiastic of activities to do with them. But they were friends-only and still now I couldn't imagine going further with any of them (they neither). Some of them are in a relationship as well. I am an extrovert, very accessible, with no big secrets, easy to open to. And this can give wrong signals. But the way I am is coherent with any friend, even though I have preferences and not all of them are on the same level of closeness. And, with any of them I have something in common worth talking about, or are very long term friendships (10+ years).
So if you don't have much in common for real, and she doesn't have typically male friends that are this close, and she isn't too open the same with anyone, then chances are she is getting into you. Especially if she talks a lot and you let her talk, she feels like receiving a lot of attention and to be putting effort in there, which means valuing you more.
Her coworker said she has a boyfriend and this might be true. If she is interested in you, she might either not realize it yet (lying to herself) or she is actually available to cheat on her partner (if so, run away and don't commit to her, you don't want to work to get a cheater for yourself).
Another option is that she wants to stay loyal with her boyfriend, and doesn't have actual feelings for you, but you compensate something that is lacking in her relationship and she feels this need to pursue that, that goes a bit beyond the usual line of friendship she is used to, even though she might not pursue an actual dating experience but simply get what she is getting already and that is enough.

However, after all this analysis, unfortunately a fact doesn't change: she is in a relationship. So if you like her I think you should drop the chances anyway and that should be enough to focus on other girls.

[Asker]

Thank you for this answer it was really in depth and thought out. i really do apprecite it. So she talks to other guys but not the amount of time she talks to me for. She openly told me two weeks ago she does beleive her boyfriend is cheating on her and she is done with him. I could tell it was real because one day she told me she cried earlier in her shift and the next day she was full with anger i literally couldnt even have a conversation with her. The two times we were alone she opened up with very personal things. In the car she literally had her legs crossed and facing towards me and i remeber when her boyfriend called her, that energy she had with me... she sounded so depressed talking to him. I don't know if you can confirm this, but two of my other friends liked a girl and its funny because she thought i was in a relationship and told her i was single and then she said "the right one will come your way". When my two other friends liked a girl they say the same thing to them and ended up together. Another instance i remeber when it snowed and it was us two outside because i was looking at her, she drew a smiley face in the snow and i said "hey whats that", then she erased it and said "oh nothing im just weird".

I will be very honest with you and i feel so stupid for doing this because i know she is still in a relationship but i'm dumb and because i seen her really sad i texted her if she would like to go out for some food to cheer her up. She never got back and ignored me for couple of days, but then spoke to me (very short talk)

[quaranta]

Then that sounds like her relationship is not going well. She might be spontaneously driven to lean on other guys (like you) to feel safe in eventually breaking up with him, however toxic relationships imply often a lot of push and pulls, so you should still give her all the power on her situation (and responsibility). Which means: until she is not explicit to you, and until she is in a relationship (good or bad one), she should stay off limits from your fantasies. Because she might never break up, or she might get into someone else, and whatnot, and you risk to crush on her for too long, waiting something that is maybe not happening. Most couples break up but still, you never know.
And anyway getting ghosted after giving something more is a bad sign, you don't know if it's because she was with her boyfriend already or because she was overthinking, but that is at least very disrespectful and you shouldn't give her "more" while receiving less ever again. The more you give the more you put value on her so be always sure to receive the same back. I don't mean she should have accepted, but at least refusing? Telling you "sorry this looks like a date and I'm in a relationship"? Something I mean, minimum respect... Now I hope she doesn't expect you to be at her disposal in "exchange" of nothing.

[Asker]

very very well said. Thank you again. I do admit i did wrong however yes i did want some type of answer, not ducking and dodging me as soon as i walk in. Im just going to give her space and maybe go in somedays when her shift is done. She did do something very weird. When i seen her in person as i said earlier, i sent her a text the day before saying i kinda stepped over the line and in person i just said it again super quick. Now the very very weird part is she could not look me in the eyes but as i said it she had like a little smile on her face. I have no clue what that was about. Regardless im going to just give her space and just based off the other things she told me, her past relationship was very bad. I do wish she could have told me in person or text. Text is hard because her boyfriend is a bit of a control freak she told me. Even though i played it off as "friendly" she knows i like her... Did she do this because she wants to end her current one first? Maybe she does want to work things out? i don't know but im just going to give her space and move on. Your advice has been some of the best i have heard yet about this girl.

[BrightBubblyKat]

She could be friendly or could like you. Ask her.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she likes to talk and you're a good listener

[Asker]

what if i told you she she has brough up randomly marriage and kids. I have a "nice car" so she asked if we could go in a drive in that. She works at a store and i was just joking and said "looks like i won't be coming here anymore" and she told me "i dont ever want you to leave and go somewhere else".

[Opinion Owner]

If you told me that to begin with I'd say she likes you. Why haven't you asked her out yet? She's sending some pretty strong signals that you seem to be picking up on

[Asker]

i wanted an unbiased opinion because here is the MAIN POINT... Her co-worker actually told me she has a boyfriend and i had no clue at all because she never told me. Then her co-worker also told me that her relationship is not that good. I'm not sure why she exposed her like that because as time went on as soon as her co-worker would walk in, she would always leave fast haha

[Opinion Owner]

In my unbiased opinion, it sounds like she's got her eye on you.
Either her and her coworker got into a falling out over something else, or this girl didn't want you to know she had a boyfriend
She probably doesn't want to break up with him just yet until she knows she has something else to fall back on (i. e. you)
Some girls are like that. They'd rather be in a shitty relationship than be alone

[Opinion Owner]

I'll be honest with you though, that's a bit of a red flag if thays what's going on. Speaking from experience, that "secret boyfriend" she's keeping from a guy she likes more could be you some day.

Not trying to discourage you though. You should go for it

[Asker]

it's funny you say that because low and behold 2 weeks ago she actually came to me all mad and saying that she is very sure her boyfriend is cheating on her and was all mad and sad at the same time. Again i just wanted an unbiased opinion. I see her maybe for like 10-15 minutes every other day or so. So not that much time.

[Opinion Owner]

And you're still her shoulder to cry on.
That's a good way in for you, my guy 👍

[Asker]

she sounds like she is pretty much done with this guy, so i mean i have to wait, be patient and shoot my shot as they say when the time comes

[Opinion Owner]

Absolutely! All in time. Good luck man

[HateyouxD]

No just sounds like she wants someone to listen to

[Asker]

what if i told you she she has brough up randomly marriage and kids. I have a "nice car" so she asked if we could go in a drive in that. She works at a store and i was just joking and said "looks like i won't be coming here anymore" and she told me "i dont ever want you to leave and go somewhere else".

[HateyouxD]

If you like her.. ask her out?

[Asker]

Here is the "mic drop" ask they say. What if i told you she has a boyfriend and expressed to me things are not going good and she is 99% sure he cheated on her. I dont want to get involved but i do have feelings for her

[HateyouxD]

It doesn't matter. She never said she wanted you.