Why is it so many women believe dating is the same way for guys as it is for them?

[Anonymous]

Not all women of course. But I’ve seen way too many women assume the following:

• That guys really care if a woman is introverted vs. extroverted. Most women prefer extroverted men and many think the same is true vice versa. Ah a physically attractive yet shy girl will be exponentially more attractive to men then an average looking girl who is very extroverted.
• That guys care about height. Of all the things we look for height is like attribute number 37 down on a list of 50 reasons to date a woman.
• That guys care about a woman’s “social” connections. A well connected man is more attractive to many women. However I actually trust a well connected woman less. She’s got more guys in her orbit and more likely to get bored quickly and cheat.
• That guys like “challenge” and enjoy being jealous and other “hard to get” drama bs. Many women like challenge and mystery when it comes to dating. But men are NOT turned on by women who intentionally do this crap anything beyond how difficult they already are naturally. In fact we hate it when women do this crap. It doesn’t make the girl more attractive in the slightest.
• Similar to above that guys are more attracted to a woman who is getting attention or already taken by someone else. Ah no and hell no. The vast majority of men don’t want the “challenge” of getting a girl to leave her boyfriend/husband for us instead. Women may feel more attracted to taken guys but not vice versa.

I just see many women assume this above crap too often.

Updates

1 y

Just fyi I know I made a bunch of generalizations above and yes it may come off as “immature”. Yes it is more complicated than that.

Still though I see this more often then even from women older than 30 (for those who wanted to say something about my own age).

Updates

1 y

However it takes patience and mental effort to try to understand someone who comes from a different background than you. Especially a different gender. Assuming they think the same way you do is a mental shortcut (and can be mental laziness).

[Anonymous]

The reason most guys think like that is because they are salty. Platforms like these naturally attract more men, another example being reddit. Have you ever seen women talk about it? It’s always men who say “women like this, women like that”. Putting words in their mouth.

1. I dont find being shy a good quality in women. Nor do i find being very extroverted to be a good. Gotta be in the middle.

2. I care about height. Im 6’0 and wouldn’t want someone shorter than 5’5.

3. Pretty sure women care about a guy’s social history. If he is known for hopping from women to women, they won't like that (despite what men say about women liking men that are players)

4. it’s not about liking a challenge, but more so not contacting someone 24/7 and letting things flow naturally, especially in the earlier stages of dating. If someone called you 10 times a day you after a date you would find that annoying.

5. again, that’s stuff said by men, and no actual woman has ever said that. And it’s always red pill or PUA guys who say that. Having “status” and “game”.

[inhua]

it's not. Norah Vincent already disproved it

the dating game is completely gynocentric and only a few men who pass a certain threshold have it far easier than the others.

[noemiii]

Probably because there are men out there who DO care about the stuff you named. You’re in your 30’s. A lot of the things you named shouldn’t even be a concern to you or the woman in your age range. These are things people in their early 20’s would argue about.

[Asker]

I admit I made a lot of generalizations above.

However I was completely amazed by the immaturity I’ve observed by some women in their 30s that still care about these things. Some of them just get worse.

Now you probably are going to get defensive to what I said above. I will say this though. I know for a fact I’m held to a much higher standard now when it comes to self control, understanding and patience vs how I was in my early 20s. To a certain extent I should be.

But I have met women in their 30s who go from bad to worse on some these issues. Like acting immature makes them feel “younger” or some nonsense.

[noemiii]

Why would I get offended about it if I am not a woman in my 30’s? I’m in my mid 20’s.
Now, I know women in their 30’s as-well who act like this but it all boils down to them, as a whole, acting like a person in their early 20’s. Just like I know people in their early 20’s who have high maturity levels, ones you’d probably find in people who are in their 30’s implying it isn’t the norm for 30+ to act so immature, which is factual.
If you don’t like it, change the type of woman you interact with.

[Asker]

It’s not that simple. It’s slim Pickens at my age and this is something you will probably never have to experience or will ever fully understand.

[noemiii]

If my 76 year old grandmother can still find someone to marry at her age (which she did) I am sure you can broaden your horizons on women. It’s only slim pickings if YOU are undesirable.

[stratford]

It's complicated for sure!