Is it ok for after 2 years for her to say she wants normal guy?

[Anonymous]

Ok so on numerous occasions we have argued because we have broken communication because she’s not interested in learning about my Asperger’s and how we can effectively communicate. She said that working on herself and learning about me would take too much effort when she wouldn’t have to do that with a neurotypical

[Anonymous]

I don’t feel like that’s fair, because it’s not about being “acceptable”. Like is it ok for a woman to not like short or poor men? Is it ok to break up because an LDR becomes too much or you just get bored of a person? Doesn’t matter if you think it’s ok, it’s what she wants, even if it’s two years in. Maybe she tried navigating your Aspergers the best she could and gradually realized it was too much for her, and that’s not wrong, even if hurtful. You’ll just have to have a woman who is equipped with the proper patience, understanding, and and desire to navigate your disorder.

[Asker]

Ok so I realize I have my struggles I bought books to better for her to better understand me. They sat around and collected dust. The romance books she was reading was far more interesting I guess that’s the offensive part she was more into those books then trying to improve the relationship

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know about you but after a long busy day and getting a chance to wind down, I wanna read a book I’m interested in if I’m going to read at all. So if she’s not interested in reading about your Asperger’s then it is what it is. You’re dwelling on how she offended and abandoned you without addressing your contribution to the split. Like being honest with yourself, how easy are you to deal with? I know things are out of your control, but you’ve got to step into the shoes of a woman you’re asking to coexist with your disorder. Aside from shoving a book in her hands and saying “here read this, you’ll understand why I’m compulsive, impulsive, angry, etc”, how much were you asking her to accept? It could be the reason why you’re having a hard time moving on, finding a new woman (if you even are). You’ve got to look inward at some point, try to understand where things went wrong on your part as well, and learn from it.

[Asker]

I already know my social limitations she would just accuse me of making excuses which was really unfair

[Opinion Owner]

So then you need a woman who can understand and respect those limitations. When you part ways with someone, take what lessons you can from it and apply it to your next relationship. Don’t dwell on it and frustrate yourself with how she could’ve and should’ve done things differently. Like how much luck have you had dating since her? Does this always seem to be the fork in the road where you and the woman diverge because she isn’t willing to understand your social limitations? How tolerable can you be when you’re having triggers? Things like this matter to the other party, and without giving them a book and expecting that to unlock all the answers, think about how you as an individual make yourself a good partner. When you bring your plate to the table, even if your offering has a few flukes, overall the good should make it worth eating off of.

[Asker]

Well the honest truth is my poor social skills haven’t led me to much relationships I was 28 when I got into this one and I was socially awkward doing it. I guess it’s another reason I’m frustrated it’s ending is because being on the spectrum things simply aren’t guaranteed I got my first girlfriend at 28 that’s insane to think about. Once this relationship is done I don’t know if I will ever experience another one

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sorry man. I guess I’m speaking from a place of understanding, like I know these two disorders aren’t the same but I dated an autistic man for almost 4 years and it was rough. It wasn’t bad all the time but when it wasn’t great, it was hard on me as well. Could I have done more to understand him? For sure, I take my responsibility for that. But I also understand myself as a person and knew I wasn’t equipped to deal with him. Sometimes it just comes down to that, and it may not feel fair or right to you, but it isn’t just about you. As you’ve gotten older, I’m sure you’ve learned more about your Aspergers (my ex would say he’s constantly learning), and you get better and better at knowing how to deal with it. Maybe that just came too late for your girlfriend or she realized you weren’t the one for her. If that’s the case, yes it’s hurtful but it will be ok. She is not and will not be the only woman willing to date you, so don’t put yourself in a box. Let her go, keep being the best person you can be, and have some patience. You need the right kind of woman and she’s out there, you just haven’t met her yet.

[arodriguez664]

Wow that's really shitty. I'm sorry she said that to you. You should find a woman with more patience. That girl sounds toxic and you're probably dodging a huge bullet.

[Anonymous]

She's not for you. Move on