Why do girls not like "good" guys?

Question

I have worked very hard to become the best possible version of myself. Im not saying this to brag but to give context. I have a six figure job, I have a good physique with visible abs, I exercise regularly, I eat healthy, I know how to cook, I have my own house which is nice and I take good care of, I have plenty of friends, I graduated top of my class and have a IQ of of 138. I am a very lucky man. But girls do not like me. I am still a virgin. Everyone thinks that I am getting laid consistently but that is not true. I want to find a long term partner but I've never even been on a date. I've joined tinder, no luck. I made a goal of asking out 20 girls in one week and I didn't get a single date. They always said they had boyfriends or were lesbians. I feel like I should be a chic magnet but that is not the case. What am I doing wrong? Why do girls not like guys like me? On paper I am everything a girl says she wants.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I'm not sure.

Most girls want a guy who will be protective and make them feel safe and secure. He has an easy way about him that signals courage, quiet confidence and self assurance. He doesn't swagger, but his poise and demeanor signal that he could be very dangerous if necessary.

Many girls want a guy who will be honest, loyal and trustworthy. He has strong morals and ethics. That's the "good guy" stuff. They don't want a thug or criminal.

But they also like fearlessness, daring, athleticism, energeticness, and the thought of being with a guy who could pick them up, throw them over his shoulder, or crush them if he wanted to. It inspires a sense of danger and awe. They have to develop trust that he would never hurt them but, nevertheless, many women love being sexually submissive and being used hard by a man who is larger and stronger than them. They love being lifted, positioned, and dominated by a man who craves them. It's thrilling. I think that's the "bad boy" thing that people refer to.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

They're either immature or just toxic. Most the toxic ones are too dumb to even realize how toxic they are. You just be you man. It's not your job to fix them.

Emelina · Accepted Answer

Well, I love man that are normal and not into themselves. But if you're the kind of guy you say you are, then I would love to meet you, but its to bad that I am older and you're to young. Take your time, and be picky who you want in a partner, you don't need to rush bc I rushed and now I am divorced, have kids that my ex husband uses them to get to me unfair to the kids, and I dont own anything bc my ex husband who's a narcissist took everything but I am happy now without the dramas. And I learned that not all man are like my ex, so now I am looking for the love of my life... I wished I waited but hey I live and learned my lesson, I keep going forward. Anyways, take your time and who cares if people think you're getting laid, at least you're amazing in bed haaa haaa, usually guys think you're bi if they know you haven't had a girlfriend or had sex... so enjoy the not true of you getting laid... lol. pretty sweet deal if you ask me. 😉 take care and you're sweet.

catiecatie · Accepted Answer

So we are about the same age. Most women look for older guys for protection. I know that’s what I’m looking for. And I’m not saying super old, but a couple years older than me. Take my crush, he has everything a woman can ask for but does he put himself other there. I don't know. He is really helpful. Wanting to help me with my test. That is a hint that he likes me. I do need to send him some questions because I am so confused and he would be able to explain it better. But maybe go out do something find a cool hobby. I mean my mom asked me if I was a lesbian because I haven’t dated anyone in almost 4 years. No I am straight but it can be tricky finding a guy and according to my friends it should be easy for me. Many guys are either really clingy or not my type. My crush is definitely my type and I think I’m his too. Let’s hope anyways lol.

Anonymous · Answer

Because there are so many guys trying so boldly to have sex with them that when they meet a "nice" guy, it feels dishonest and desperate to them.

Woman understand power better than most men do. They respect men who are valuable, have limited availability and aren't foolish. It usually helps to have some air of mystery.

When a dude is bending over backwards for a woman, at some point a part of her is going to wonder what value she has that he wants, what value does he have that she wants and it's gonna be colored by all these emotions along the way.

Chicks would have you and probably themselves believe that they want a guy who is nice and affectionate and constantly putting others needs ahead of his. But woman are biologically evolved to take a much more Machiavellian view.

They want a man who is successful in getting what they want. A man who understands how to navigate the world with relative ease.

In other words, if you can't be a leader to her, than you'll eventually become her mark. Or in the best case she will lose interest.

If everywhere you go, you're being all nice and outgoing and you're buying people beers or giving every random person the time of day. Eventually, you're going to look foolish to a woman because ultimately such behavior is foolish.

Have some mystery, don't let everything out all the time. It's OK to be a decent guy, but don't overdo it, as soon as your gestures don't feel special, you've started down the path of being a doormat, if you're not there already in her eyes.

Woman want to earn their close connection with you, they want to build it up so it has value and feels sturdy and worthwhile.

MJackson1234 · Answer

Let me give you an advice that might safe your life. Don't confuse being a good guy with spineless. If you are just a pleaser and a yes mam kind of guy then she will have no respect for you. She will be cheating on you with the old fat guy that spanks her over his knees. Also get off tinder. That app is meant for one thing only and it's not finding a girlfriend. Talk to someone that you might know something about them and know something about their background. Finally, stunner at this age is not always a good thing. They come with baggage.

EricSummer · Answer

At your age it cannot be attributed to chance alone. Something important must be wrong with you.

Are you good at small talk and pleasant convesation? Can you listen and ask questions that make her want to talk more? If not, you might want to do a course for that, not for pick-up (!), but normal conversation.

As a male with high intelligence, do you have a diagnosis on the autistic spectrum (let's work by excluding potential factors). This needs a more targeted approach.

Finally, do you pick your potential partners entirely on your own and make a move only when you already start feeling "in love" with the selected object of your desire? That is not a good method. Observe if a girl already sends positive signals and is open to your flirting. Then make a move early on and see if you can get a date.

silvermoon84 · Answer

A lot of girls your age aren’t mature, so they go for the bad guy who’s exciting and sexy, but stinks as a person. Some of them get to be my age and STILL aren’t mature. Also it’s the same reason guys don’t like good girls. Bad boys (and bad girls too) offer excitement and sex and adventure. The cons of dating them? They’re pros at making women fall in love with them without any intention of sticking around. The challenge of trying to change him into boyfriend material keeps us sticking around. Good guys (and girls) have a lot of pros: good long term partner, etc, however they’re perceived as borning. (I’m not saying YOU’RE boring OP, just stating my opinion)

stepyo99 · Answer

Getting a date is purely a numbers game, just keep asking women out.

Also, the stuff you do to improve yourself should be done for yourself. Improving for a woman's affection is only going to lead to pain and disappointment because of their fickle nature. The only person you need to impress is yourself.

If you're really being truthful about everything you say about yourself, then you can absolutely afford to be picky too. Make sure you don't settle too quickly for the first girl who gives you any affection. Make sure the women you date are working hard and putting in effort for you. Women will manipulate you if they sense weakness.

I would save sex until marriage as well, it's the most reliable way to know someone is committed to you.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

You’re not fit for anyone with this mindset. It doesn’t matter what you have or how you look. If something about you is off putting or your personality sucks, you’re gonna always be a virgin. Women will always choose who they want just like how we men choose who we want. It’s not complicated
Are you capable of listening and understanding? Are your empathetic? Are you capable of courting?
Your 6 figure salary only attracts trashy spirited women and your high IQ does not mean you’re smart as you think. It takes common sense as well and you’ve missed that part as you boasted about yourself.
You’re not even the best version of yourself at your age. You don’t have enough experience and wisdom just yet.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm going to be completely honest and say you could be going for girls way out of your league. Just because you have all of that going for you means virtually nothing to a girl that is a 10 where she can get a guy that has lots of money in the bank. Sorry to sound shallow but hot girls these days are going for the money and usually that means going for older guys. My best friend for instance is a 10 and goes after guys that are way older than her for security. You are very young and probably can't provide that tbh or at least that's what they may think when looking at you and choose not to pursue you. I don't think it has anything to do with you being a "good" guy. I think it has a lot to do with just wanting a guy who is going to secure the bag for them. That's if you are going after 10s like I think you are.

Anonymous · Answer

Good guys posses one fatal flaw:

They do not recognize that women crave some sick shit. They crave domination and a man who can "grab them by the pussy." Meanwhile, they're angry that anyone would say such a thing.

That is all. The nice guy is missing out on sex appeal. He does not possess the necessary understanding of dominance and submission and so therefore is incapable of pleasing SOME women in bed.

They can see you're a nice guy from a mile way. People who are freaks walk different. They have a different kind of confidence.

And most women are freaks. Point blank. They'll deny it forever but once you tap into that freak side of women you'll be drowning in choices.

es20490446e · Answer

Girls like you, you simply aren't realizing it.

You allow yourself to be deceived by what they appear.

And you, subtly, act according to that.

For example by hiding your interest, or just the opposite, by wanting them to show it quickly due to lack of faith.

If you simply knew girls liked you for the simple fact of being a boy, you will simply try to seduce them and not hide your interest. Softly, like a gentleman, but unapologetically.

If you want to know what girls like, I would play the following game.

It is a story about a guy who was shy around women, but certain event in his life changed it dramatically.

It is written by a girl, and it is terribly accurate in that regard.

https://story-anon.itch.io/out-of-touch/purchase

lollypop2003 · Answer

Most guys who have to say they’re good guys are most always too forceful and kinda creepy. I’m not saying you are but if you’re asking out this many girls and not one has accepted then the problem might be you. I would chill out in your approach and ask friends to look at your dating profile for advice, preferably any girl friends.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

You're mentality is the problem with "why girls do not like me" or "girls don't like good guys"

Makes you sound like a self entitled lame on here so just imagine the energy you put off in person?

Your accomplishments are nice but accomplishments isn't what always attract women.

You attract women first physically, if a woman doesn't find your face physically attractive then you have to put in extra effort i. e. go up to them and say at least hi and be friendly and kind to them in a genuine way.

Not even so called top 1% men will get any women he desires, you just have to find your match and using Tinder isn't for serious relationship but rather for shallow people looking to have sexual flings so don't expect good luck there trying to find a quality woman.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Throwing out all your stats and complaining how it doesn't land you a date, doesn't make you a good guy. In fact, it makes you come across as an entitled pretentious snob.

Girls ain't dumb, dude. They can sniff rhis shit from a mile away. revise your perspectives, be optimisitic, confident and secure in yourself and you'll find many people will want to be around you and the challenge then becomes keeping girls away.

Jltakk · Answer

We're in an age where a guy honestly opening up and being vulnerable, asking a question that's been eating away at him gets him lambasted by the audience, given labels like "incel". Its little wonder why many just stay quiet about these concerns.

As far as the question, I think its just the connotation in modern western society, no thanks to how they tend to be portrayed for committing the cardinal sin of simply asking what more is left to do to impress the opposite sex. What was I talking about again?

slatyb · Answer

How many women do you greet by name? It sounds like you are just walking up to strange women and asking them out. That doesn't work very well. You have to learn to initiate conversation. If she's engages, then say the end of the conversation you can ask for another meeting. Also get over yourself. I work in a building full of guys who are smarter and earn more.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Some just don't.

However, most who get accused of it simply do not like boring guys or, worse, guys who pretend to be "good" or "nice" when in reality those guys are just manipulators who are try to get in the girls' pants.

Lansolot · Answer

Tinder lol, find a hobby craft class. Don't go intending to meet a girl just go and be yourself. Pick something you really enjoy or want to learn. In my opinion you will never find "the one" on a dating app. Those stories are very rare.

Also I noticed your update, never bother girls in public. It CAN work out but it's just bad manners and if you're not some smooth talking guy then it can come off as very creepy.

gothbxtch · Answer

girls don’t like mean guys. if any girls like “bad” guys, it’s just that the guys are confident. AND sweet and capable. in your case, it sounds like luck of the draw; the girls you asked out were just gay and/or taken. one piece of advice is don’t make any more goals to ask out a certain number of girls in a week; find a girl you really like and ask her out, instead!

Anonymous · Answer

A guy can have none of those things you listed and have women interested because of how he makes them feel. No matter what you have, if you don't understand how to build attraction and connect sexually / emotionally with emotional intelligence then it won't matter.

Anonymous · Answer

Ultimately, when girls are young, they prefer the toxic 1% guy who has no serious intentions of marrying them and will cheat on them. Then they complain about how he cheated to you, her best friend, asking why men can’t be like you. Then just rinse and repeat until they get to around 30. Then after they’ve had their fun, they’ll start getting serious about finding a husband, but the same woman that spent her 20s yelling I’m a boss babe, I don’t need no man, I can take care of myself…. Wants a man who will take care of her, and pay for everything. The issue is that she doesn’t realize that she wants a man to fill that traditional male gender role, but she herself has no intention of fulfilling a traditional female gender role.

boggboss · Answer

Because u have not described yourself u have told us what u own and what u look like in most cases like this self proclaimed good guys have shit personalitys or ability to talk to a women think his money fame or body will do the job

Anonymous · Answer

You are too intimidating. Be clear with what you want when you are talking to a woman. If you are searching for a long term relationship make sure she knows. If you just wanna have "fun" then go about it another way

Anonymous · Answer

If you've really got all that going for you then it must be something about your personality or how you're talking/treating them. Maybe try doing some research on how to flirt or how to ask women out. Confidence is killer when it comes to this stuff and also your appearance in regards to facial hair, head hair, clothing, etc.

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

Buy this book: How to be a 3% Man. This will answer your questions. It is not PUA material. It is relationship material. Trust me. The book and ebook are in Amazon.

sage2021 · Answer

When it comes to marriage and a woman can't find a good guy to marry we ask why? The answer is because all the good one's are taken.

hsshannah96 · Answer

I like guys like this but I have found some men physically unattractive and unfortunately that deters me cause I know a year later we will likely break up

kylee2437 · Answer

The issue with this is a lot of guys that only know how to address good things about them typically don’t hold themselves accountable in their own flaws. With the description you wrote, it seems like you are too good to be true. And before you say “all this about me is true” , it probably is true , however you aren’t mentioning some flaws you have and that is typically why women do not like “nice “ guys because nice guys aren’t very self aware

exitseven · Answer

I do not really believe that. Girls with low self esteem may like guys that abuse them because they dont think they deserve anything better but all the girls I dated appreciated the fact that I was gentleman.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

It's not about being a good guy or not and most of them wouldn't know all these personal stuff about you from just meeting you... it's just you don't know how to make an impression... you don't have enough rizz lol... work on your game man

ZXCwWRQWz · Answer

Make some guy friends. They can point out what you're doing wrong. I can't see it but I figure you're doing something really weird socially.

Anemone978 · Answer

I was thinking you were ugly or something lol but if you got a date that is awesome, good luck!

Akam93 · Answer

Well you would be nice for me if I wasn't married. 🤷‍♀️ but I doubt it I would be your type.

magiusX26 · Answer

sorry kiddo but thats what most say they want and oddly (insert sarcasm here) the main thing they avoid. seems a lot of it is the good guys habits are not as exciting as the bad boy types.

BlackJeep · Answer

None of those attributes are a reason why someone would want to date you. You sound too thirsty. You are probably a go getting in your work life but in dating you need to be a go giver

Shamalien · Answer

There is a push and pull dynamic. If a guy is too good the girl shies away. If he is too bad she shies away. If he is good with enough spice mixed in she likes it

LittleSally · Answer

Have you ever asked out a woman in person? If not, this may be it.

Nikki1989 · Answer

That depends on what you call “good guys.”

ericclayton · Answer

Key word is "girls". Young, immature girls like exciting rulebreakers, mavericks. As they mature into women, they prefer the more stable, less "exciting" normal guys.

ImalwaysrightOK · Answer

Couldn't it be that most women nowadays are 💩

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Girls like good guys. We just don’t like push overs or insecure men.

Anonymous · Answer

They come in very handy. Women love simps.

Twalli · Answer

Because you just listed what you are, not who you are. What do you offer to girls?

jeanneinborabora · Answer

I found (later on in life) that we have to love ourselves truly; love ourselves… before we can love somebody else truly.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

"Good guys" make girls laugh, "bad guys" make them cum.

provokeesmokee · Answer

What is this, fucking copypasta?

Mreseuno · Answer

Because they are the most fake there is. Women want real honest men that are not the “good guys”

goku2023 · Answer

I can find you a girlfriend like right now , my friend is looking for a man like u! omg

Anonymous · Answer

Because you're "good" out of necessity. "Bad" guys bend the rules because their awareness is higher and they don't need strict rules.

Anonymous · Answer

I like good guys. Maybe you're asking the wrong girls

Blacksnake285 · Answer

The hotter the woman the more she likes bad boys and wealthier guys

fonduegirl · Answer

It might be your personality

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Juuust here for the update that makes sense.

soe11 · Answer

Your speculation and assumption.

nateyoder23 · Answer

I'm sure you will find someone someday.

aquamarine321 · Answer

Because good guys are boring and unattractive

whistlingwh0res · Answer

Prove yourself. Do you whistle at women?

Why do girls not like "good" guys?

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