Don’t know what to understand? Girl I like rejected me 5 months back but she makes sure to keep me as a friend? Sometimes she’s affectionate?

[Anonymous]

Girl i met 6 months ago had a breakup with her ex just about the time i met her. We bonded extremely well and became close very quickly. But she sensed i developed feelings for her and tells me by herself that its all good at the start and that it gets ruined afterwards. I told her how i feel after, but then she rejected me. Then it was very awkward. But then after two months she makes a big effort to bring me back in to her life. But then either she’s very affectionate or very wary. She still makes an effort to make it clear that we’re friends, but is there anything more there? Because i think she understands clearly that i still have feelings for her and want her, but she doesn’t cut me out but she makes sure that a distance is maintained and still she goes out of her way to help me out.

[Keyboardkat]

I HATE it when girls give mixed messages! My internal hard drive crashes when fed conflicting data! It usually means that she can't make up her mind, and she doesn't want to lose you while she's deciding, but she can't commit, either.

BUT -- I think there may be something deeper going on here! You said she had just broken up with her ex. If that's true, and she immediately took up with you , WATCH OUT! When a a person has just broken up with an ex, their emotions are haywire for a while. If he broke her heart, she is a walking wounded. She is not yet emotionally available to you, or anyone else, because she's still grieving for her lost relationship. Her heart is still broken. When she's in this condition, she may find a good guy, and feel she wants him, but she may end up using him as a band-aid. That's where YOU come in! And she can discard the band-aid when she's feeling better! It's not fair for her to do that to someone, but that's human nature. She shouldn't have started dating yet, because she wasn't ready.

If this is in fact what's going on with her, you need to protect yourself. Pull back, and don't fall all over yourself expressing undying love for her, because that will push her away. She's not yet ready to hear that. Don't be so available to her, because she'll take you for granted as a band-aid that she can cry to, but you'll be stuck in the friend zone. It may take months, it may take a year, but when she's finally ready for a new relationship, you DON'T want her to think of you as a "friend." If you have the strength, maybe disappear for a while. Then when you make contact with her again, when she's ready, it could be like a big reunion, like, "Where have you been, I've missed you so much." Then go from there.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

[red_knight]

She only wants to suck out all the attention you can give coz that energy gives her a girl bonner.

Congratulations, you're now in the friend zone. She's turned you into a beta male. The only way to handle this woman was walk away and stay away.

Yes getting into a relationship after a break up. is a bad idea but she also. used you to get over that guy and you didn't see that coming. Lol

Stay very far from people that do not match your energy. She knew very well what was happening and going to happen next. Watch out.

Don't be a Betamalebitch to anyone.

[red_knight]

Thank you

[LittleSally]

I really can't guess what's on her mind, but if this is taking your energy away from you, making you question yourself or this friendship, please move on - for yourself.

You can be selfish - especially if that is what's best for you.

She may or may not simply keep you as a friend forever, she may be your friend until she feels like she is ready for a relationship and then might give it a go with you, or she might just (even unintentionally) use you as a crutch, a man next to her to boost her ego while she gets ready for a new relationship with someone completely new.

I say tell her honestly this is not working for you and that it's messing with your head and you need to move onwards and forwards for your own sake.

You're looking after yourself, and she can't blame you for that.

In any case, good luck!

[SueShe]

All she is interested is being platonic friend with you and that's it. Nothing more.

Don't think that she will change her mind the longer she communicates with you. You would make an error in assuming that something may develop later. If you are not interested in a platonic relationship, then you should let her know that you also want to fornicate and that you are not satisfied with being just friends.

Her breakup with her former boyfriend simply made her aware that being more than just platonic friends with a male bears more negative than positive points and you should either accept it or then tell her that you are not interested in a platonic relationship.

[Inbox]

She's attempting to keep as a friend, but when she becomes affectionate, it's done out of being a friend. Have you ever been affectionate with a friend without it being sexual or romantic? Same concept. REPEAT AFTER ME: "I only ask a girl out once, maybe twice if she's trying hard to come back."

As a man who used to approach 20 girls a week, my advice is to keep things simple with women. If you're not getting what you want from a woman after a few weeks, you move on to the next woman. It's a #s game, that's it.

[hahahmm]

She's getting many benefits of a relationship without having to give you anything. The 'distance' always benefits her. She is using you. If you really care about her this is also dangerous for you. What happens if her boyfriend/ex/random dude shows up when and you have to physically protect her? You could end up dead over someone who doesn't actually think you're worth being in a relationship. Someone who IS laughing at you behind your back.

[D_Bone_Steak]

TL;DR Attention... that's my short answer.

Long answer: There are a lot of women that use men for attention. We all know the guy's that fall for it. We have titles for them like "orbiter male" or "emotional tampon."

If you've actually sat there and listened to her "relationship problems" before, then you already know you're that guy.

Don't be that guy.

[KingslayerC]

She will never date you or sleep with you. She will use you for whatever you can offer, for as long as you can offer it. Basically as a fill-in until she can find a guy she's attracted to for sex/a relationship. You're what's known as a beta orbiter. She knows you want to be with her, and she will use that to her advantage for as long as you let her. Classic friendzone situation.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Tell her, "I know you're not ready to be more than friends, but I don't accept that. I'm not gonna stop until I've won you over. I'm a patient man 😉"


Of course that's not true. You will stop after a couple weeks if that doesn't work. Don't waste your time in the friend zone.

[provokeesmokee]

Bro: women can be friends with you and NOT FIND YOU SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE.

It's called being a platonic friend.

If you can't handle that, tell her you can't be a platonic friend and then let her go.

But seriously, wtf is wrong with you? It's normal to want to be friends with other people and NOT HAVE SEX.

Jesus, you boys need to get therapy. Seriously.

[Sanser]

You are on the hook. Try dating other people and forget her, I'm not saying you should get rid of her, but please do yourself a favor and don't pursue her. If you know you won't be able to think of her as a friend, I recommend for your own good that you cool the relationship so you can live your life without expecting her to want to be with you..

[Sour-rose]

Soooo she ain't a bitch but she really wants you as a friend... which could not end well. Just because she could manipulate you or worse, keep you on the hook just for because she wants to.

[slatyb]

She's not interested in an intimate relationship with you, but she likes knowing that you want her. Date other people.

[DarkLegacy]

Sounds to me like just another typical under 40 woman is using a guy. Just drop her altogether and cut off all ties. She is just trying to take advantage of you.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Don’t be a friend of a woman you like romantically… It ruins your chances with her…

[DizzyDesii]

Either she truly cares about the frienship or she's keeping you on the backburner as a backup

[shades777]

backup dancer

[DizzyDesii]

@shades777 and he sounds ready to hit the stage

[shades777]

i hate seeing this type of stuff because i know he's being played like a findle and she's not gonna let him hit so why even care

[DizzyDesii]

@shades777 its not up to us. He has to acknowledge what she's doing and have the nerve to walk away

[shades777]

facts

[rachel776]

she likes being physical with you but doesn't want a relationship

[exitseven]

She gets her jollies keeping you on the line

[mommymommymommy]

She's either 1. using you or 2. likes you and regrets saying no, but, doesn't know how you'll feel now

[Anonymous]

She just wants attention from you and that's all. You need to cut her of your life and focus your attention on more worthy things. Unless you desperately just want to be her Chat Buddy, then she's bringing no value into your life.

[DextroShade]

You need it make very clear that you aren't interested in just being her friend.

[LiamJHayden]

Plan B Boyfriend

[Anonymous]

So what is the problem?

[Asker]

So i don’t understand if there’s anything possible there or not

[In_Trance]

You're wasting your time. Move on