To get straight to the point — there’s this girl that I don’t get along with and who happens to be my boyfriends best girl friend (which is totally cool with me, as long as there’s respectable boundaries, right? I think most people would agree with this).
We’ve never had any direct altercations but it’s one of those situations where anytime I’m around her she’s passive aggressive, degrading, and down right rude. Anything I say she automatically disagrees with me (I say black, she’ll say white; I say yes, she’ll say no), but if my boyfriend were to say the exact same thing, she’d go along and agree with him. There’s a lot of examples I could provide about how she’s been disrespectful and rude to me, but I’ve ultimately just accepted that I don’t have to like everyone and they certainly don’t have to like me either. Though… it does suck because I literally just met this woman and it just seems like me walking into my boyfriends life has been the most unwelcoming experience from his female friends.
But the reason why I’m posting is to ask —- have you ever been around someone that you feel, as I described above, has no respect for you and is continually rude to you? And it’s like nails on a chalk board or like pulling teeth to have a simple conversation with them? You’ve done nothing to them but for some reason you just get a tense gut feeling that you’re disliked?
So what does it mean when anyone I bump into who knows her says the exact thing, and that is: “Oh she’s said so much about you! She loves you — trust me, I would know!”
Anytime someone says that to me I polite-fully say “oh that’s great!” But deep down I’m thinking…. There’s no possible way. If she truly “loved me” or had such great things to say about me, I feel like she’d treat me differently, perhaps more friendly and just overwhelmingly… better, when we’re together?
How do you explain this? I swear my gut tells me she doesn’t like me. Shouldn’t actions speak louder than words?
We’ve never had any direct altercations but it’s one of those situations where anytime I’m around her she’s passive aggressive, degrading, and down right rude. Anything I say she automatically disagrees with me (I say black, she’ll say white; I say yes, she’ll say no), but if my boyfriend were to say the exact same thing, she’d go along and agree with him. There’s a lot of examples I could provide about how she’s been disrespectful and rude to me, but I’ve ultimately just accepted that I don’t have to like everyone and they certainly don’t have to like me either. Though… it does suck because I literally just met this woman and it just seems like me walking into my boyfriends life has been the most unwelcoming experience from his female friends.
But the reason why I’m posting is to ask —- have you ever been around someone that you feel, as I described above, has no respect for you and is continually rude to you? And it’s like nails on a chalk board or like pulling teeth to have a simple conversation with them? You’ve done nothing to them but for some reason you just get a tense gut feeling that you’re disliked?
So what does it mean when anyone I bump into who knows her says the exact thing, and that is: “Oh she’s said so much about you! She loves you — trust me, I would know!”
Anytime someone says that to me I polite-fully say “oh that’s great!” But deep down I’m thinking…. There’s no possible way. If she truly “loved me” or had such great things to say about me, I feel like she’d treat me differently, perhaps more friendly and just overwhelmingly… better, when we’re together?
How do you explain this? I swear my gut tells me she doesn’t like me. Shouldn’t actions speak louder than words?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
She sounds fake and rude. If anything it sounds like she likes your boyfriend or she is just jealous and thinks you might steal his attention from her. Either way I would not put up with my boyfriend having girl friends. It's disrespectful that she makes you feel that way and more than likely your gut is right!!! Just see how things go but it's best to communicate it with your boyfriend there should be boundaries
Well, so we have… it’s been this way for over a year. I will say the constant communication has ended (for as far as I know). He’s very aware that I dislike her and have these feelings. He says we’ll hang out with her less, and we have, but the few times I’m around her still… a year later… and nothings changed. He says it could be because we’re both strong personalities and I’m like, well maybe, but still.. I’ve never disrespected someone because they’ve had a strong personality?
I think he is just making excuses for her behavior. Trust me women instincts don't lie. It's to stop hanging with her period and just focus on your relationship with him as it should be more valuable
You have a lot of patience to have to deal with that
Yeah… my patience is wearing thin. I just don’t understand why. This girl is married so I’d like to think that she doesn’t want my boyfriend. So I don’t understand why she’s been so cold to me from day one. So then I get confused when someone comes up to me and says “oh she’s said so much about you” because I automatically say “oh well I hope good things” and they all go “oh no she loves you, trust me, I’d know”. And it’s weird that multiple people have said the exact same thing… so either they’re lying because she hasn’t said good things (and again… lol why) or she’s so narcissistic that she might “like” me but is so self centered that she’s coming off rude. But I doubt that because she doesn’t act this way to my boyfriend or other people. When it’s just us she’s nice to me but in group settings.. total bitch, just like the rest of them.
I couldn’t imagine being mean and ugly to a new person in my friend group.
that or maybe you are thinking too much into it and maybe she comes off like that to you
Sounds like a clear case of jealousy to me.