Why are men such fools when it comes to certain women?

[DubiousIntentions]

You have probably seen it happen. A girl twists a guy around her little finger and then leaves him heartbroken. That just makes it worse for the next girl who is genuinely interested in him. He may not open up his heart to her and maybe even treat her like dirt. So why?

[Lionman95]

I think there are two major problems in the life modern guys.

1. Many guys haven´t learned to be happy without sex and/or a relationship to women. The problem is that due to porn and video games many guys are pleasure addicts. They won´t do something that doesn´t give them gratification. Ever wondered why open relationships, friends with benefits and all those types are a thing because one can have pleasure without consequences.

2. Many guys have no clue who they are what they want and what kind of women to look for as a partner. The problem is that many guys have no clue what to actually look for in a woman and what should be redflags and greenflags in order for her being a good fit for a long-term relationship. So because they don´t have a measurement scale they gamble and ask out the first woman they meet and get along well in a conversation and less weight on what she´s doing, her values and beliefs are and how a future might look with her.

3. An additional problem could be that some guys don´t ask other people for advice. They don´t go to their friends and talk about a woman they see as a potential partner but instead make the decision themselves.

[Minahh]

Very well summed up

[Lionman95]

Thanks for the reply.

[DubiousIntentions]

What are you expecting "Lionman" ? Your own pride?

[Lionman95]

What do you mean?

[DubiousIntentions]

Like in a Lion Pride. You know, harem.

[Lionman95]

No Lion is just the English translation of my first name and when I entered that platform I had to add something because Lion was too short as a nick name so added "man" and my birth year but I couldn´t come with something more creative.

[ManOnFire]

Really great question. Every man has to go through it. Even I did. A lot of guys meet a woman they think is super special, not seeing the signs and how she's just a user, whether it's to get attention (women are enormous attention whores) or to get money or something else from a dude.

But I also think a large reason for this is because most men are taught to be loving gentlemen, to be chivalrous, generous, and caring with women, so when they meet a woman they think is special, they feel like they should be treating her like the prize that they're programmed to think all women are. Women know this, and they exploit a lot of men for it.

Although lots of women are also fools for all the wrong guys. In fact, women are much more often than vice versa. Most men usually learn their lesson the first time, but women will more often repeat the same mistakes with different men. You got chicks out here spending money on guys who don't have any, buying them shiny shit, and all the while this guy is getting all the same TLC from another woman. What makes women worse for being fools is that the guy can even treat her like total shit and she will still want him, or want to go back to him, knowing entirely well how awful he is, but they'll make tons of excuses for why they can't let him go.

[DubiousIntentions]

Good points. Some women are just evil. 🤬

[ManOnFire]

Women who use men definitely are, but I would argue that women who are fools repeatedly for some guy or multiple guys are much worse than a user.

[blueonblack22]

@dubiousintentions man on fire hit a very hard key point on how men are being taught treat women then vice versa.

Let me ask you in this. Are women nowadays and the last few decades or so being taught to be respectful to men since they are little girls? Or women being preached to, ostracized and guilt inflicted about “toxic femininity” by public education systems? Are women being told they are “privileged” just for existing and must humble themselves to make up for it?

Of course not. But switch the above to men and it’s true that young’s and men are being to taught that all women are “delicate and special” since they were young boys.

So we got lots and lots more confused “nice guys” nowadays who were brainwashed young. We both know there are plenty of women out there who will exploit that for their own ends. But the guy was “supposed to know better” or something.

The cold reality is virtually nobody is teaching these nice young men how to actively avoid being taken advantage of. Instead they have to find out the hard way.

[DubiousIntentions]

@blueonblack22 Which is sad. Maybe they should listen to their mothers more as they seem to have a keen sense as to what kind of person a girl is.

[ManOnFire]

@dubiousintentions They ARE listening to their mothers. It's mothers that try to teach them to be gentlemen and respectful to a woman, and that women are all these good things, only to set their sons up for failure by NOT teaching them just how malevolent women can be too.

[DubiousIntentions]

Well mothers also think the best of their daughters and usually have no clue what they are doing outside of their household. I'm wondering that if I had a daughter that was a user if I would tell her boyfriend about her to save him some grief.

[ManOnFire]

@dubiousintentions Which is a good thing to consider, but I will tell you that most mothers would never tell their daughter's boyfriend/husband about that. Reason being that a lot of mothers have their own history of using/playing some guy at some point. And because you have mothers who even teach their daughters outright to get whatever they can get from a man and ditch. I knew two older women once who absolutely knew their daughters were players, and kept their lips completely shut.

[blueonblack22]

@dubiousintentions my own mother very much mislead me on this and I had to find out the hard way. She was born a beautiful and that gave her incredible privilege and power over my dad. That power is something she never acknowledged until decades later she got a lot older.

With that said she was also raised old school. She understood the importance of family. However she also brainwashed me to be chivalrous/gentlemen and for a lack of better description to kiss woman’s ass’s. This was drilled in my head since I was little boy. I remember in the first grade I got in trouble for punching a girl in the stomach after she was bullying me in the playground. Both parents came down very hard saying “boys are open season to hit but never ever hit a girl”.

Now I definitely not condoning that men hit women. But there for many of us it was pounded into our heads at an early age that we are supposed to “tolerate” and endure bad behavior from women given that women are “delicate and special”.

Now you combine that old school chivalry (which women once respected a long time ago) along with all the radical feminism it leaves men REALLY screwed up and confused on how to treat women. It’s constant mixed messaging, double meanings and confusion.

Some women get this (thank you by the way). But way too many are too happy to oblige the sugar high of taking advantage of men for short term benefits.

But Mother Nature intended to bound men and women. When women exploit and shit on men they in the long run destroy themselves. You are already seeing it with women who voluntarily never marry or have kids. They are told that is “freedom” or some insanity. But is it?

[ManOnFire]

@blueonblack22 Bombshell truth again.

[blueonblack22]

@ManOnFireAt least @dubiousintentions is opened minded to our POV. I respect her for that. Thanks miss dubious. :)

The thing is men don’t want a “pity party”. Women tend to favor the victim card. But men don’t nor even CAN play that card and expect to survive in this world.

The vast majority of male angst you see nowadays isn’t because are lonely and/or not gettin any. No men are angry because we want to be RESPECTED.

Respecting someone doesn’t mean you bend over backwards to them or even be nice to them. But you put in the mental effort into seeing things from their pov and understanding what they have to deal with.

Most “modern” women see men as expendable and only valuable if the man can provide some sort of immediate benefit to her. They don’t understand (nor care) to respect men out of simple human principle.

It’s not okay to screw over someone just because someone else in past screwed you over to “even” the score in your own self absorbed reality.

I just see too many women trying to self justify being as selfish af to one guy just because their father or some other unrelated guy did her wrong in the past. That twisted concept is literally what modern feminism is based on.

[8UniquelyBoring8]

There could be many reasons for this kind of behavior. One reason could be that the guy lacks self-confidence and self-respect. He may feel like he needs to have someone in his life to feel validated, and he may settle for someone who is not treating him well because he doesn't think he can do better.


Another reason could be that the guy doesn't have a clear understanding of his own wants and needs in a relationship. He may be easily swayed by the attention and affection of a girl, even if it's not what he truly desires.


Lastly, it's important to note that not all guys behave this way. It's unfair to generalize a whole gender based on the actions of a few individuals. It's important to treat each person as an individual and to not make assumptions about their behavior based on their gender.

[LazerBean]

Because those people have poor judgment. It's not just men, it happens to women too.

[DubiousIntentions]

Well that is a given with bad boys.

[Unit1]

Can you blame us? Pretty sure it happens to women too.

For me it would only take a sweet and persistent girl to fix me up. Not, that I can't do it myself but still. It's easy.

Ah. I'm loving the story of Final Fantasy 8. It's about a self-reliant young lad, who's isolated and socially distant - pretty similar to myself. Most likely got burned too (not "MGTOW" level damaged). And then there's this one sweet girl, that keeps persisting. Very interesting story development. I love it.

Me can dream.

Yes!

See? It's that easy (with me). 😁

[SoIcyGang]

I say it is because we don't have as many opportunities to learn.

You date enough women you learn how many are absolute bat shit crazy. You develop standards.

But a lot of men don't get to do that. They don't get to date around. They don't get to learn because for men it's much harder to have a relationship than on reverse.

It's just those men have yet to learn those lessons.

I think women learn those lessons very early on in life. And it explains a lot about why women have standards and men do not.

Also women have weirdos throwing themselves at them all the time. Men do not.

So generally I think men on average are more immature when it comes to these relationship lessons.

[JSmuve]

👆 this right here is the answer. People gotta work through their mistakes and the length of time that takes is inversely related to the number of opportunities you get. Guys get fewer opportunities than women so it takes longer.

[ManOnFire]

@SoIcyGang Those are some good points. But I think men actually learn their lessons a lot sooner than women. Most men who were fools for some chick learned from it and didn't let it happen again, whereas many women will be fools for a man or multiple men repeatedly. You don't often hear about men who keep running back to no good women, but lots of women will keep trying to hold on to men who are users or are emotionally toxic.

[SoIcyGang]

That's true because I know I learned my lessons after one burn.

Yet I see a lot of women becoming single mothers on their 2 3 or 4th kid after thinking this guy was the one.

I've seen a lot of women are desperate to find a daddy for their kid from another guy that didn't work out.

And after next new daddy after next new daddy, they never give up. They never stop the quest. And never learn their lesson.

[ManOnFire]

@SoIcyGang Right. And it's why you hear way more women talking about how "there are no good men anymore" out of bitterness from their experiences and bad choices.

I only ever had one woman I dated years ago use me and try to pull the wool over my eyes. That one experience was enough to wake me up and realize just how much a woman can be a pretender. I never let it happen again, even though I met other women along the way in my life who tried to, but by then I was wise enough to keep my distance. By nature, men are creatures that want respect, and it's easier for us to choose self-respect over putting up with bad behavior, so I think we usually gain more wisdom from our experiences with the opposite sex than women do with theirs.

[ericclayton]

@ManOnFire seems many women keep running back to bad men because they're insecure, and blaming men in general for their own bad decisions.

[DubiousIntentions]

@ManOnFire True.

[ManOnFire]

@ericclayton That too, yeah.

[DubiousIntentions]

@ericclayton I can't believe the questions on here where a woman, who is being mistreated, stays with a guy. Like where is their self-respect? If they can't respect themselves, how can they expect a man to respect them? I think some men latch on to such girls as they know they can manipulate them and feel they can do anything they want - even cheat - without repercussions. It's sad really. :(

[ericclayton]

Yep.

[ProbablyClueless]

Men are attention-starved. Plus, the thoughts coming from the smaller head are more concentrated than the thoughts of the bigger head because of the area of the thinking surface.

[DubiousIntentions]

Seems about right.

[KrakenAttackin]

At your age and younger men don't have anywhere near the dating experience women have. Most men aren't able to date much until they are in their 30's. Women have all the sexual market value, experience, and power through their 20's. Men are easy prey during these years. And you are correct in that women CREATE fuck boys and abusive men.

[Malwi93]

what? how do we create themÜ

[MrOracle]

Often, she's hot, he's shallow, and his lust is blinding him. Sometimes he's got some real feelings (or what he thinks are real feelings). And sometimes he's a guy who struggles to get a girl and is terrified to lose the one he's finally managed to attract.

Guys who do this are either outright stupid, naive and inexperienced, or stubborn and hard-headed. They usually end up paying a high price for their error.

[nolabels]

Can you imagine what would happen if men were able to keep their wits about them when in the presence of desirable women?

The earth would soon no longer have homo sapiens walking its surface.

I think it's crucial that men totally lose their shit around some women.

[Adam1978]

Both genders fall for that especially when they are young. But should you shame the one that get fooled? Shouldn't you shame the one fooling instead? Because doing the first encourage bad behavior, while the later does the opposite. Since everyone around them will blame them for taking advantage over the gullible guy/girl.

[JonesT10Apr]

take times to heal after too much heartbroken...

plus with last girl attitude he face more betrayal and low self esteem. more than that she could make him toy even before breakup..


with the true love have to heal... it could take 6monts or more than a year...

but he will keep improving... the true love give support continuously in genuine way that I hope

[crossdressingrihno]

Lets see.
If you spend your whole life being told that showing any negative emotion is bad and having weakness is the greatest sin you can commit but then one day someone beautiful comes along telling you everything is okay an that your finally good enough what would you do?

[BobLouis]

Generally a lot of women don't find it attractive when a guy is vulnerable with her. I am linking a video a where even a gay guy admits he doesn't vulnerable men because he wants to feel secure around a guy he likes.

https://youtu. be/9nE3EQEBzc0

[Meropatrick]

Because women are the biggest soft spot for most men. Women have a lot of power over men. And usually people start to misuse this power and use it for their advantage.

[JSmuve]

Because some men are hopeless romantics and see what they hope for instead of what is. They don't yet have the experience to be jaded and cynical and see women as the fallible, moody, and annoying creatures that a lot of them are.

[bernhardh]

That's usually done by girls (or trans persons) who expect and need some level of sexual intercourse and acceptance when such a (high libido) person does not get what she needs and is looking for.

As a high sex drive person myself, I can understand why. Such a girl/person would find having a sexual relationship with me satisfying (once all the inhibitions and stigmas that constrain natural urges and impulses and create fruatration get removed/dealt with)

[RHK36]

Because women can be dishonest manipulators. It's both sides, people don't want to act right anymore.

[molonski2]

Hardly just happens to men , far more often women would be involved in exactly the same , everyone just wants what they can't have , or want what they think will make them happy , it virtually never works out that way.

[NYCQuestions1976]

Would that not be the fault of the previous woman that used him or strung him along? I agree he needs to be mature about it and do a better job at compartmentalizing, but he didn't start the process.

[DubiousIntentions]

Everybody plays the fool some time.
https://youtu.be/1_UM9AaUb4k

[NYCQuestions1976]

There's no exception to the rule.

[strateguy632]

song linger has those ideas

like love is worth it.

[LiamJHayden]

Selfishness. Same as when a guy does it to a girl. They use people like objects and discard them when done.

[RavVid]

What certain women? Some are quite good at being what you like. From the outside you might see her manipulations but I am just liking everything I see. Hope springs eternal.

[OlderAndWiser]

And girls don't act like fools for certain guys?

[DubiousIntentions]

Of course they do, but this thread is about men being fools.